Dec 21, 2018

How A Small Act Of Love Saved A Life

Kelly woke up just as angry as she had been when she fell asleep.

She rolled over and, letting out a sigh of relief, felt glad that her husband had already gotten up. Honestly, she didn’t want to see his face right now.

Putting on her favourite pink slippers, she made her way downstairs and found Richard sitting at the breakfast table, facing in her direction.

“Damn him and his handsome eyes. I need to stay strong on this one,” Kelly thought to herself.

Then she noticed it…

A card.

Face down on the placemat in front of her usual seat.

She didn’t need to read it to know what it said.

Something undoubtedly sweet, honest, and full of heart. The only way Richard knew how to write when he wrote her notes.

“I know I was a stubborn ass last night, and I’m sorry.”

Ugh. His voice. Her eyes teared up ever so slightly, and she immediately softened, despite her (equally stubborn) resolve. 

“I know that I hold on to these positions, even when what we’re fighting about doesn’t matter to me in the slightest. I just get scared when we fight and so I clam up. It’s still hard for me sometimes to believe that you’re with me, and so when we fight I fear losing you. I know it’s irrational… and I’m not proud of how I respond, but I’m doing my best. And… well, I’m sorry. And I love you. And I hope that you can keep this letter close for when we have these little squabbles.” 

She walked over to him, looked into his gorgeous brown eyes, and put her hand on his cheek.

Richard stood up and kissed Kelly on the forehead. Forehead kisses have a way of dissolving the last of any argument.

She picked up her card, put it in her back pocket, and took a deep breath in through her nose as she soaked up this moment of tenderness. Just like the thousands of other beautiful moments that made up their now more than ten year marriage.

Little did she know, had Richard not swallowed his pride, and chosen to lean in to vulnerably expressing what was true for him, someone would have died that day. In fact, two lives would have been lost.

If Richard had clung to his ego and kept his stubborn mouth shut, Kelly would have been out the door six minutes earlier than she actually left, and in a hell of a lot worse of a mood.

Kelly, with the unresolved argument and simmering anger towards her husband weighing heavily on her, would have been frustrated by the traffic jam that she encountered at 46th and Oak and taken an alternative route.

Taking that alternative route, that slowed her down even more than it would have had she stayed put, would have Kelly cross paths with Diego.

If Richard had stayed stuck in his stubborn ways, Kelly would have honked at Diego and screamed at him (from within the safety of her own car) with such ferocity that it would shake him to the core.

Diego would then have been so affected by Kelly’s road rage that he would forget to pick up his girlfriend’s lunch on his way to visiting her at her on-call shift at St. James Hospital.

Normally, that wouldn’t have been that big of a deal, but Diego’s girlfriend (Alice, a surgeon) hadn’t eaten yet that morning, and the 45 minute delay in her eating anything would affect her cognition just enough so that she would make a small error in judgment during her shift.

That error in judgement would set off a chain of events that caused a kidney donor (and the recipient of said kidney) to pass away, despite both of them being in relatively good health for both being in their early 60’s.

But the good news is that none of this happened. Everything would have unfolded this way if Richard had continued to cling to his stubborn position… but he didn’t.

He leaned into love.

He told Kelly that he was sorry. He admitted that he had been a jerk to her because, in truth, he was actually afraid. He acknowledged the deeper truth about what their argument was actually about, and now two people across town at St. James Hospital both still have their lives to show for it.

This is all it takes to change the world for the better.

In one translation of the Bible we hear these words, “God sees even the sparrow’s fall.”

Every act counts. Whether you make your decisions from a place of love or from a place of fear is always felt.

It all helps.

Every last loving intention adds to the world.

Even on your most difficult days… 

I hope you never forget this.

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
One Tip That’s Guaranteed To Improve Your Relationship
Oct 14, 2014
Jordan Gray
One Tip That’s Guaranteed To Improve Your Relationship
A tip that’s guaranteed to improve your relationship, hmm? A bold claim? Not in the slightest. This is absolute fact and it’s something that I’ve been recommending to my clients for years. But first, a quick story. The Money Hungry Entrepreneur With A Suffering Home Life I once had a client...
Continue Reading
How Your Childhood Is Messing Up Your Love Life
Feb 10, 2014
Jordan Gray
How Your Childhood Is Messing Up Your Love Life
Growing up, you were completely at the will of your parents. Depending on how much love, time, and attention your parents gave you, their involvement in your life undoubtedly affected how you show up in your romantic relationships. If they were there for you, never there for you, or too...
Continue Reading
7 Of My Favourite Things That Make My Life Better
Aug 3, 2023
Jordan Gray
7 Of My Favourite Things That Make My Life Better
Over the last 10+ years of my writing reaching over 100 million people all around the world, I've been asked a lot of questions. What's my favourite sex toy, favourite cologne, favourite non-toxic dish soap, etc. etc.... Well today, I won't be talking about any of those things. But I will be...
Continue Reading
The Importance Of Honouring Your Standards
Apr 14, 2016
Jordan Gray
The Importance Of Honouring Your Standards
This question came in from a reader yesterday… - “I’ve been sleeping with a guy for the past ten months, I communicated to him early on that I was looking for something more serious and he seemed open to it. But every time I brought up the conversation of taking our relationship to the next level...
Continue Reading
How To Get The Slight Edge In Your Relationship
Aug 22, 2015
Jordan Gray
How To Get The Slight Edge In Your Relationship
Have you ever heard of the book 'The Slight Edge' by Jeff Olson? It's one of my all time favourite self-help books that I re-read every year or so. It isn’t a problem if you haven’t read it… since I’m about to summarize the whole book into one sentence. The basic premise of The Slight Edge is that… Small,...
Continue Reading
31 Ways To Spread More Love Into The World
Nov 23, 2015
Jordan Gray
31 Ways To Spread More Love Into The World
"Ultimately, spirituality and self-development have the same end goal... be unapologetically loving toward yourself and others, as often as you can manage it." - Jordan Gray - Nobody is perfectly loving all of the time. But that doesn't mean that we shouldn't aim to be. We never know whether...
Continue Reading