Apr 22, 2016

How Will You Spend Your Heartbeats?

The most scarce resource you will ever have is your time.

But time is too intangible. Time is a thing that humans invented to organize our lives around. So I like to think of our time in terms of heartbeats.

You can feel your heart beating. It connects you to your body, and gets you out of your head. It reminds you of the blood pumping through your veins… at varying speeds… around the clock.

If you end up living something similar to the average human lifespan, you will be afforded 2.5 billion heartbeats throughout your entire lifetime. 42 million per year. Just over 100,000 per day.

So the question becomes… how will you spend your heartbeats?

How Will You Spend Your Heartbeats?

I believe that our choices influence the direction of our lives. Everything that we do has a ripple effect in our lives.

You will always, until the day you die, have a choice as to how you spend your heartbeats.

Will you choose to spend them criticizing and resenting your partner, or taking stock of how much you love and appreciate them?

Will you stay in an uninspired city, relationship, or career path exclusively because they’re the safe choice, or will you deploy the courage to go after what you actually want?

Will you primarily fill your body with toxins, junk food, and drugs, or vegetables, water, and nutrient-dense foods?

Will you fill your mind with self-doubt, celebrity gossip, and news that profits from you living in a state of fear, or will you fill it with skills, education, love, and self-compassion?

Will you put people down, be passive aggressive, and discourage people from being their authentic selves, or will you be a loving, encouraging, kind friend to everyone that you cross paths with?

Will you pack your calendar with constant busyness, or will you allow yourself regular downtime to let your soul breathe?

Will you say yes to everything and put other people’s opinions of you over your opinion of yourself, or will you set appropriate boundaries and only do things that feel light, expansive, and joyful?

Will you talk behind your friends’ backs, or will you regularly tell everyone in your life how much you love them and why?

Will you settle for a mediocre intimate relationship that just barely manages to scrape by, or will you put in the necessary work to allow your love life to be the ripe soil for your personal growth that it yearns to be in your life?

Your heartbeats, your decisions. Nobody can tell you how to live your life but you.

My only recommendation is to make sure that you live your life in a way that lets you sink your teeth in deeply, and have the juiciness of it drip down your chin.

Live with intentionality.

Give everything that you can.

The world needs you in all of your self-actualized glory.

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
What Most People Get Wrong About Happiness
Apr 26, 2016
Jordan Gray
What Most People Get Wrong About Happiness
The date was December 31st, 2015... While taking a weekend vacation in a cabin in the woods, I sat across from my girlfriend as we wrote down our goals for the coming year. When we revealed our sets of goals to each other, they couldn’t have been more different. My goals all had numbers attached to...
Continue Reading
How Perfectionistic Parenting Affects Children Later In Life
Feb 26, 2017
Jordan Gray
How Perfectionistic Parenting Affects Children Later In Life
Did you grow up with overly strict, controlling, or perfectionistic parents? Was familial conversation strained and limited? Did you frequently feel like you weren’t allowed to be yourself or express certain emotions? Every child experiences invalidation growing up. This is natural and unavoidable....
Continue Reading
“What If They’re The Best I’ll Ever Do?”
Apr 2, 2016
Jordan Gray
“What If They’re The Best I’ll Ever Do?”
Tears streaming down her face, my client looked at me and asked “What if he’s the best I ever do? What if that was my one shot at true love and everything is ruined for me now?” I felt and understood her pain. It was an empathy that I had felt only a few hours before with another client. Strangely enough,...
Continue Reading
Unfathomable Pain, Unfathomable Beauty
Mar 18, 2018
Jordan Gray
Unfathomable Pain, Unfathomable Beauty
The world is incomprehensibly vast and dynamic. It would be too easy to throw in the nihilistic towel and say, 'The world is too messed up. My life has no meaning. What's the point of it all?' Because, yes, the amount of pain and suffering in the world is truly unfathomable. Every day, loved...
Continue Reading
8 Ways To Be The Healthiest Person In The World
Dec 21, 2017
Jordan Gray
8 Ways To Be The Healthiest Person In The World
Want to be the healthiest person in the world? Vibrant health comes down to a simple set of conscious choices. But in order to make those choices consistently you have to be able to take charge, stay awake, and push back against your own mind. When it comes to being in the driver's seat of their lives,...
Continue Reading
How Valuable Are You As A Partner?
Dec 2, 2013
Jordan Gray
How Valuable Are You As A Partner?
Are you continually making an effort to be the best partner possible? Here's the thing… it's easy to coast in life. You can get a job that's good enough to pay the bills, be in good enough shape to take the stairs without getting winded, and be a good enough partner that your significant other doesn't...
Continue Reading