Apr 22, 2016

How Will You Spend Your Heartbeats?

The most scarce resource you will ever have is your time.

But time is too intangible. Time is a thing that humans invented to organize our lives around. So I like to think of our time in terms of heartbeats.

You can feel your heart beating. It connects you to your body, and gets you out of your head. It reminds you of the blood pumping through your veins… at varying speeds… around the clock.

If you end up living something similar to the average human lifespan, you will be afforded 2.5 billion heartbeats throughout your entire lifetime. 42 million per year. Just over 100,000 per day.

So the question becomes… how will you spend your heartbeats?

How Will You Spend Your Heartbeats?

I believe that our choices influence the direction of our lives. Everything that we do has a ripple effect in our lives.

You will always, until the day you die, have a choice as to how you spend your heartbeats.

Will you choose to spend them criticizing and resenting your partner, or taking stock of how much you love and appreciate them?

Will you stay in an uninspired city, relationship, or career path exclusively because they’re the safe choice, or will you deploy the courage to go after what you actually want?

Will you primarily fill your body with toxins, junk food, and drugs, or vegetables, water, and nutrient-dense foods?

Will you fill your mind with self-doubt, celebrity gossip, and news that profits from you living in a state of fear, or will you fill it with skills, education, love, and self-compassion?

Will you put people down, be passive aggressive, and discourage people from being their authentic selves, or will you be a loving, encouraging, kind friend to everyone that you cross paths with?

Will you pack your calendar with constant busyness, or will you allow yourself regular downtime to let your soul breathe?

Will you say yes to everything and put other people’s opinions of you over your opinion of yourself, or will you set appropriate boundaries and only do things that feel light, expansive, and joyful?

Will you talk behind your friends’ backs, or will you regularly tell everyone in your life how much you love them and why?

Will you settle for a mediocre intimate relationship that just barely manages to scrape by, or will you put in the necessary work to allow your love life to be the ripe soil for your personal growth that it yearns to be in your life?

Your heartbeats, your decisions. Nobody can tell you how to live your life but you.

My only recommendation is to make sure that you live your life in a way that lets you sink your teeth in deeply, and have the juiciness of it drip down your chin.

Live with intentionality.

Give everything that you can.

The world needs you in all of your self-actualized glory.

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
Does Polyamory Ever Work?
Jan 28, 2021
Jordan Gray
Does Polyamory Ever Work?
Does polyamory ever work? I received the following letter from a reader the other day. "I’ve been struggling for the better part of several months dealing with leaving my ex for the second time (who came back early last year love bombing me for months, then completely shifting saying he wants to...
Continue Reading
Own The Part Of You That Wants To Remain A Child Forever
Feb 24, 2020
Jordan Gray
Own The Part Of You That Wants To Remain A Child Forever
There is a part in all of us that wants to remain a child forever. Chopping the food and tending the fire brings its own satisfaction... but a part of us just wants the resulting warmth, without all of the effort. Wouldn't it be nice to have your dream relationship run on autopilot... without having...
Continue Reading
Why Spiritual Awakening Is So Painful
Jan 7, 2024
Jordan Gray
Why Spiritual Awakening Is So Painful
In order to travel from a state of numbness to a state of joy and dynamic aliveness, you must first feel your way through all of the pain that you buried within. When I truly started to engage in my deeper inner work, I cried daily for a period of 8 months. There were days (maybe weeks?) where I felt...
Continue Reading
Exploit These 3 Cognitive Biases To Fall More Deeply In Love
Apr 15, 2021
Jordan Gray
Exploit These 3 Cognitive Biases To Fall More Deeply In Love
Everybody needs love and connection. It has been repeatedly proven to be the biggest defining factor in long-term happiness. In an 80-year-long study, scientists at Harvard University tracked 268 students as they carried on their journeys—hoping to collect hard data on what really makes a great, satisfying...
Continue Reading
Why You Should Have A Morning Routine
Apr 12, 2016
Jordan Gray
Why You Should Have A Morning Routine
Do you have a morning routine? Some of the most successful, productive, grounded, and happy people I've ever had the pleasure of meeting have morning routines that they regularly turn to in order to start their days off on the right foot. The biggest difference I have noticed my morning routine make...
Continue Reading
How Slut-Shaming Hurts Men
May 19, 2014
Jordan Gray
How Slut-Shaming Hurts Men
Have you heard of slut-shaming? It's a recent hot-topic, and with good reason. Through media, upbringing and societal pressure, women have been forced to suppress their sexual urges. This has been happening for ages and has become a widely accepted double standard. Men are allowed to have as much...
Continue Reading