Apr 22, 2016

How Will You Spend Your Heartbeats?

The most scarce resource you will ever have is your time.

But time is too intangible. Time is a thing that humans invented to organize our lives around. So I like to think of our time in terms of heartbeats.

You can feel your heart beating. It connects you to your body, and gets you out of your head. It reminds you of the blood pumping through your veins… at varying speeds… around the clock.

If you end up living something similar to the average human lifespan, you will be afforded 2.5 billion heartbeats throughout your entire lifetime. 42 million per year. Just over 100,000 per day.

So the question becomes… how will you spend your heartbeats?

How Will You Spend Your Heartbeats?

I believe that our choices influence the direction of our lives. Everything that we do has a ripple effect in our lives.

You will always, until the day you die, have a choice as to how you spend your heartbeats.

Will you choose to spend them criticizing and resenting your partner, or taking stock of how much you love and appreciate them?

Will you stay in an uninspired city, relationship, or career path exclusively because they’re the safe choice, or will you deploy the courage to go after what you actually want?

Will you primarily fill your body with toxins, junk food, and drugs, or vegetables, water, and nutrient-dense foods?

Will you fill your mind with self-doubt, celebrity gossip, and news that profits from you living in a state of fear, or will you fill it with skills, education, love, and self-compassion?

Will you put people down, be passive aggressive, and discourage people from being their authentic selves, or will you be a loving, encouraging, kind friend to everyone that you cross paths with?

Will you pack your calendar with constant busyness, or will you allow yourself regular downtime to let your soul breathe?

Will you say yes to everything and put other people’s opinions of you over your opinion of yourself, or will you set appropriate boundaries and only do things that feel light, expansive, and joyful?

Will you talk behind your friends’ backs, or will you regularly tell everyone in your life how much you love them and why?

Will you settle for a mediocre intimate relationship that just barely manages to scrape by, or will you put in the necessary work to allow your love life to be the ripe soil for your personal growth that it yearns to be in your life?

Your heartbeats, your decisions. Nobody can tell you how to live your life but you.

My only recommendation is to make sure that you live your life in a way that lets you sink your teeth in deeply, and have the juiciness of it drip down your chin.

Live with intentionality.

Give everything that you can.

The world needs you in all of your self-actualized glory.

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
How To Prioritize Being Over Doing
Apr 12, 2016
Jordan Gray
How To Prioritize Being Over Doing
For the past three years I have been pushing the metaphorical boulder up the hill. I’ve created a business that more than takes care of my needs, while reaching over a million readers per month with my writing. For this fact, I feel supremely grateful. Nothing touches my heart more than knowing that...
Continue Reading
3 Ways Men Energetically Castrate Themselves
Jan 11, 2021
Jordan Gray
3 Ways Men Energetically Castrate Themselves
For nearly any man, having their balls chopped off is one of the most terrifying scenarios imaginable. If you have a scrotum, just reading that probably made it flinch. But if it’s such a scary idea, then why do so many of us do it to ourselves every single day? To understand energetic castration,...
Continue Reading
I Believe In Loving Like You Give A Shit
Dec 13, 2015
Jordan Gray
I Believe In Loving Like You Give A Shit
I believe in loving like you give a shit. I believe in being overly affectionate in public. Even if it means that those who are envious label you as 'that couple' or tell you to get a room. I believe in flirting with someone you’ve been with for years. I believe in seeking out our barriers to intimacy...
Continue Reading
What Six Months Of No Drinking Did To My Sex Life
Aug 11, 2015
Jordan Gray
What Six Months Of No Drinking Did To My Sex Life
I’ve never been a heavy drinker. Even in what many people consider to be the prime drinking years of 19-25, I rarely got drunk. From 19 onwards, I probably got drunk an average of five times per year, and more recently, I would maybe have an average of 3-5 drinks per month. But something still didn’t...
Continue Reading
Kindling vs. Coal: How To Know If Your Relationship Will Last
Feb 28, 2016
Jordan Gray
Kindling vs. Coal: How To Know If Your Relationship Will Last
I recently had a new client ask me the following question… “So, I recently met this woman. She’s amazing. She’s everything I could have ever hoped for… and yet, I’ve never been so stressed out in my entire life. I find myself analyzing every little move that she makes. Interpreting every...
Continue Reading
You’re Better Off Without Me: A Love Poem
Feb 23, 2018
Jordan Gray
You’re Better Off Without Me: A Love Poem
Love, I promise… you’re better off without me I’ll fuck up your life, unrecognizably When you play below your potential… hide from the world… doubt your greatness… I’ll suffocate your smallness, your ego will hate this I’ll smother your self-rejections until they can no longer stand Old friends...
Continue Reading