Apr 22, 2016

How Will You Spend Your Heartbeats?

The most scarce resource you will ever have is your time.

But time is too intangible. Time is a thing that humans invented to organize our lives around. So I like to think of our time in terms of heartbeats.

You can feel your heart beating. It connects you to your body, and gets you out of your head. It reminds you of the blood pumping through your veins… at varying speeds… around the clock.

If you end up living something similar to the average human lifespan, you will be afforded 2.5 billion heartbeats throughout your entire lifetime. 42 million per year. Just over 100,000 per day.

So the question becomes… how will you spend your heartbeats?

How Will You Spend Your Heartbeats?

I believe that our choices influence the direction of our lives. Everything that we do has a ripple effect in our lives.

You will always, until the day you die, have a choice as to how you spend your heartbeats.

Will you choose to spend them criticizing and resenting your partner, or taking stock of how much you love and appreciate them?

Will you stay in an uninspired city, relationship, or career path exclusively because they’re the safe choice, or will you deploy the courage to go after what you actually want?

Will you primarily fill your body with toxins, junk food, and drugs, or vegetables, water, and nutrient-dense foods?

Will you fill your mind with self-doubt, celebrity gossip, and news that profits from you living in a state of fear, or will you fill it with skills, education, love, and self-compassion?

Will you put people down, be passive aggressive, and discourage people from being their authentic selves, or will you be a loving, encouraging, kind friend to everyone that you cross paths with?

Will you pack your calendar with constant busyness, or will you allow yourself regular downtime to let your soul breathe?

Will you say yes to everything and put other people’s opinions of you over your opinion of yourself, or will you set appropriate boundaries and only do things that feel light, expansive, and joyful?

Will you talk behind your friends’ backs, or will you regularly tell everyone in your life how much you love them and why?

Will you settle for a mediocre intimate relationship that just barely manages to scrape by, or will you put in the necessary work to allow your love life to be the ripe soil for your personal growth that it yearns to be in your life?

Your heartbeats, your decisions. Nobody can tell you how to live your life but you.

My only recommendation is to make sure that you live your life in a way that lets you sink your teeth in deeply, and have the juiciness of it drip down your chin.

Live with intentionality.

Give everything that you can.

The world needs you in all of your self-actualized glory.

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
4 Things I Learned In 4 Years Of Running My Online Business
Jan 20, 2017
Jordan Gray
4 Things I Learned In 4 Years Of Running My Online Business
January 26th, 2017 is this website’s fourth birthday. Four whole years! If this website was a person it would be walking, talking, and beginning to form its own opinions about the world. It would also pee itself every now and then. I could take this analogy in a lot of different directions, so I’m going...
Continue Reading
How To Ease Into Love When Love Terrifies You
Nov 10, 2014
Jordan Gray
How To Ease Into Love When Love Terrifies You
“The world will break your heart ten ways to Sunday. That’s guaranteed.” - Bradley Cooper in Silver Linings Playbook We all suffer tragedies in life. Break ups, abandonments, lost loved ones, and countless other bumps and bruises will take their toll on our hearts as we live. It’s so tempting...
Continue Reading
The 3 Biggest Things That Hold People Back From Actually Growing
Nov 5, 2017
Jordan Gray
The 3 Biggest Things That Hold People Back From Actually Growing
Everyone wants to grow. Everyone wants to improve. Everyone wants to have a better life. But desire alone only takes us so far along our path. It's common in our growth trajectories to have common roadblocks come up that hold us back from obtaining the next layer of healing, or level of expansion. In...
Continue Reading
6 Ways To Build Emotional Resilience (And Become Unfuckwithable)
Feb 21, 2020
Jordan Gray
6 Ways To Build Emotional Resilience (And Become Unfuckwithable)
To be alive is to be at constant risk of facing intense pain. Hard things will happen to all of us. Buddha’s first noble truth said it well: “Life is suffering.” Unforeseen tragedy will strike. The people you love will eventually pass away, or become sick. Some things you’ve worked on for years will...
Continue Reading
How Experiencing Burnout Made Me A Better Partner
Apr 20, 2015
Jordan Gray
How Experiencing Burnout Made Me A Better Partner
A couple of years ago when I first started building my business, I was working unsustainably crazy hours. I wrote three books in two months, I was writing four new articles per week, and I was hopping around from city to city every few days and dealing with all of the logistics that came along with that. It...
Continue Reading
Parentification: What It Is And 3 Powerful Ways To Heal From It
Aug 1, 2024
Jordan Gray
Parentification: What It Is And 3 Powerful Ways To Heal From It
Over the last 15+ years, I've worked with many adults who struggled with the aftermath of parentification in their youth. Parentification is when a child takes on roles and responsibilities usually meant for a parent. This happens when the child has to care for siblings or even the parents themselves. When...
Continue Reading