Apr 8, 2016

It’s Terrifying And Then It’s Amazing

I’m going on an airplane tomorrow. And I really, truly do not enjoy flying.

I know… it’s a modern miracle… and it’s all “WOW I’M IN THE SKY RIGHT NOW!”… but I can’t help but feel like we’re going to drop out of the sky at any moment. Even though that’s fairly impossible. And even though there’s a way higher chance of me dying from just taking a shower, I still find my heart racing when the plane’s wheels leave the ground.

But it’s worth it. Flying is worth it because on the other side of my tense forearms, anxious thoughts, and nervous poops is travel!

New places. New experiences. New lessons to be learned. New friends to connect with.

For me, flying in a plane is essentially always terrifying… and then what I get to do after the flying happens is amazing.

And that’s life. It’s terrifying, and then it’s amazing.

It’s Terrifying And Then It’s Amazing

Allowing yourself to truly dive into a new and promising romantic relationship can be scary… and then after a few weeks or months of dates and Do-they-really-like-me-as-much-as-I-like-them?’s, you settle into something beautiful and it expands your heart more than you ever thought something could.

Deciding to put it all on the line to start your own business is one of the most daring things that we can do with our lives. But if you truly allow yourself to dive into the exhilaration of the experience, you might end up building something that gives you a greater sense of freedom, fulfillment, and joy than anything else in your life (outside of your intimate relationship).

Being vulnerable in a conversation with someone you’ve just met is nerve-racking, but if you do it (with someone who feels trustworthy) then you’ll open up the opportunity for your conversation to go a whole new level of depth and intimacy when they choose to meet you in the deep end.

Diving into your greatest fear with your coach/therapist/self can be absolutely horrifying. Maybe you’ve spent years or decades running away from your fear. But once you’ve faced it, acknowledged the truth of the situation, and allowed yourself to move through the pain of it, you get to be free of it forever. A short period of pain, for decades of ease. It’s worth it.

Where in your life do you need to allow yourself to leap into something scary?

What terrifying thing is holding you back from moving into the next iteration of who you know you’re capable of being?

Remember, the terror is temporary.

It’s terrifying for a moment, and then it’s amazing forever after.

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
The 3 Biggest Things That Hold People Back From Actually Growing
Nov 5, 2017
Jordan Gray
The 3 Biggest Things That Hold People Back From Actually Growing
Everyone wants to grow. Everyone wants to improve. Everyone wants to have a better life. But desire alone only takes us so far along our path. It's common in our growth trajectories to have common roadblocks come up that hold us back from obtaining the next layer of healing, or level of expansion. In...
Continue Reading
‘Why Are Men Always Intimidated By Me?’: What’s Actually Happening
Feb 6, 2024
Jordan Gray
‘Why Are Men Always Intimidated By Me?’: What’s Actually Happening
I recently worked with a woman we’ll call Jennifer. Jennifer came to me because she had been single for over 10+ years, and she stated that she no longer wanted to be. She told me that men always found her 'intimidating' and that they just didn’t know how to relate to her (which is far from the first...
Continue Reading
How Experiencing Burnout Made Me A Better Partner
Apr 20, 2015
Jordan Gray
How Experiencing Burnout Made Me A Better Partner
A couple of years ago when I first started building my business, I was working unsustainably crazy hours. I wrote three books in two months, I was writing four new articles per week, and I was hopping around from city to city every few days and dealing with all of the logistics that came along with that. It...
Continue Reading
7 Ways NoFap Improves Your Relationship (And Your Life)
Jul 16, 2020
Jordan Gray
7 Ways NoFap Improves Your Relationship (And Your Life)
Think your chronic masturbation habit could be negatively impacting your relationship? Well, you may be right. And you’re also not alone. If you don’t spend much time on internet forums, you probably missed the millions of men who have already been sharing their struggles in love and sex, and...
Continue Reading
How To Fiercely Protect Your Time
Nov 6, 2016
Jordan Gray
How To Fiercely Protect Your Time
Here’s a problem that you haven’t been giving enough thought to… We live in the age of distraction, and your life is full of time vampires. Your beeping cell phone demands your attention. A loose acquaintance that you don’t really know very well reaches out to you on Facebook and asks to grab coffee/lunch/a...
Continue Reading
All Of Your Suffering Was Worth It
Mar 14, 2016
Jordan Gray
All Of Your Suffering Was Worth It
I’ve been through a lot in my lifetime. You’ve probably been through a lot of challenging things too. That’s just the nature of being a human being who has lived for more than a few years. Life is messy. None of us get through unscathed. We all collect wounds and scar tissue throughout our lives, be...
Continue Reading