Apr 8, 2016

It’s Terrifying And Then It’s Amazing

I’m going on an airplane tomorrow. And I really, truly do not enjoy flying.

I know… it’s a modern miracle… and it’s all “WOW I’M IN THE SKY RIGHT NOW!”… but I can’t help but feel like we’re going to drop out of the sky at any moment. Even though that’s fairly impossible. And even though there’s a way higher chance of me dying from just taking a shower, I still find my heart racing when the plane’s wheels leave the ground.

But it’s worth it. Flying is worth it because on the other side of my tense forearms, anxious thoughts, and nervous poops is travel!

New places. New experiences. New lessons to be learned. New friends to connect with.

For me, flying in a plane is essentially always terrifying… and then what I get to do after the flying happens is amazing.

And that’s life. It’s terrifying, and then it’s amazing.

It’s Terrifying And Then It’s Amazing

Allowing yourself to truly dive into a new and promising romantic relationship can be scary… and then after a few weeks or months of dates and Do-they-really-like-me-as-much-as-I-like-them?’s, you settle into something beautiful and it expands your heart more than you ever thought something could.

Deciding to put it all on the line to start your own business is one of the most daring things that we can do with our lives. But if you truly allow yourself to dive into the exhilaration of the experience, you might end up building something that gives you a greater sense of freedom, fulfillment, and joy than anything else in your life (outside of your intimate relationship).

Being vulnerable in a conversation with someone you’ve just met is nerve-racking, but if you do it (with someone who feels trustworthy) then you’ll open up the opportunity for your conversation to go a whole new level of depth and intimacy when they choose to meet you in the deep end.

Diving into your greatest fear with your coach/therapist/self can be absolutely horrifying. Maybe you’ve spent years or decades running away from your fear. But once you’ve faced it, acknowledged the truth of the situation, and allowed yourself to move through the pain of it, you get to be free of it forever. A short period of pain, for decades of ease. It’s worth it.

Where in your life do you need to allow yourself to leap into something scary?

What terrifying thing is holding you back from moving into the next iteration of who you know you’re capable of being?

Remember, the terror is temporary.

It’s terrifying for a moment, and then it’s amazing forever after.

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
Jordan’s Top 7 Books On Sex And Relationships
Oct 29, 2014
Jordan Gray
Jordan’s Top 7 Books On Sex And Relationships
Every week, people ask me what books I would recommend for them to further their understanding of sex and relationships. Having been someone that has been self-educating on sex, psychology, and relationships for the past decade, and having read hundreds of books on the subject, I feel fairly qualified...
Continue Reading
12 Things Your Partner Needs To Hear More Often
Feb 5, 2014
Jordan Gray
12 Things Your Partner Needs To Hear More Often
There are things that your partner needs to hear you say on a consistent basis in order to feel deeply loved. Some of which they know about, and some of them, they don't. Communication is key in intimate relationships and it helps to be intentional about telling your partner what they need to hear...
Continue Reading
What Learning To Backflip Taught Me About Life
Apr 15, 2019
Jordan Gray
What Learning To Backflip Taught Me About Life
In the summer of 2018, I decided that I wanted to learn how to backflip. Being 6’7 (2.01m), this seemed like an impossible task. My internal dialogue rattled on... "Am I too lanky to pull this off? Do my legs have to work harder to launch my giant body off of the ground? Will I land on my head...
Continue Reading
The One Thing A Man Needs In Order To Commit To A Relationship
Feb 22, 2020
Jordan Gray
The One Thing A Man Needs In Order To Commit To A Relationship
How do you get a strong, high quality man to want to commit to you? Not many guys are able to put this into words themselves. But they intuitively know there’s one thing they need, above all else, in order to feel deeply, fully committed to a relationship. It goes far beyond anything...
Continue Reading
Givers and Takers: How To Make Sure Your Relationship Lasts
May 10, 2015
Jordan Gray
Givers and Takers: How To Make Sure Your Relationship Lasts
I have worked with countless couples over the past several years on helping them have the most intensely satisfying intimate relationships possible. And through my time as a relationship coach I have noticed a major trend. There are two primary types of couples that come to me… Couples that are struggling...
Continue Reading
9 Reasons To Not Use Dating Apps (At All, Ever)
Jan 29, 2025
Jordan Gray
9 Reasons To Not Use Dating Apps (At All, Ever)
Despite millions of people using dating apps, nearly 80% of users report feeling burnt out, frustrated, and no closer to finding a meaningful connection. While dating apps claim to bring people together, some research suggests they often do the opposite - leading to higher rates of anxiety, lower...
Continue Reading