Apr 8, 2016

It’s Terrifying And Then It’s Amazing

I’m going on an airplane tomorrow. And I really, truly do not enjoy flying.

I know… it’s a modern miracle… and it’s all “WOW I’M IN THE SKY RIGHT NOW!”… but I can’t help but feel like we’re going to drop out of the sky at any moment. Even though that’s fairly impossible. And even though there’s a way higher chance of me dying from just taking a shower, I still find my heart racing when the plane’s wheels leave the ground.

But it’s worth it. Flying is worth it because on the other side of my tense forearms, anxious thoughts, and nervous poops is travel!

New places. New experiences. New lessons to be learned. New friends to connect with.

For me, flying in a plane is essentially always terrifying… and then what I get to do after the flying happens is amazing.

And that’s life. It’s terrifying, and then it’s amazing.

It’s Terrifying And Then It’s Amazing

Allowing yourself to truly dive into a new and promising romantic relationship can be scary… and then after a few weeks or months of dates and Do-they-really-like-me-as-much-as-I-like-them?’s, you settle into something beautiful and it expands your heart more than you ever thought something could.

Deciding to put it all on the line to start your own business is one of the most daring things that we can do with our lives. But if you truly allow yourself to dive into the exhilaration of the experience, you might end up building something that gives you a greater sense of freedom, fulfillment, and joy than anything else in your life (outside of your intimate relationship).

Being vulnerable in a conversation with someone you’ve just met is nerve-racking, but if you do it (with someone who feels trustworthy) then you’ll open up the opportunity for your conversation to go a whole new level of depth and intimacy when they choose to meet you in the deep end.

Diving into your greatest fear with your coach/therapist/self can be absolutely horrifying. Maybe you’ve spent years or decades running away from your fear. But once you’ve faced it, acknowledged the truth of the situation, and allowed yourself to move through the pain of it, you get to be free of it forever. A short period of pain, for decades of ease. It’s worth it.

Where in your life do you need to allow yourself to leap into something scary?

What terrifying thing is holding you back from moving into the next iteration of who you know you’re capable of being?

Remember, the terror is temporary.

It’s terrifying for a moment, and then it’s amazing forever after.

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
7 Things I Want You To Remember If I Die Young
Nov 10, 2018
Jordan Gray
7 Things I Want You To Remember If I Die Young
I’ve lost two close friends over the past few years. One was 25 years old, the other was 30. And, without hyperbole or rose-coloured glasses on my face, I can easily say that they were both some of the best people I have ever known. The kind of people that make me think ‘Only the good die young’...
Continue Reading
11 Ways To Be A More Attractive Man (or How To Fight Entropy 101)
Sep 29, 2018
Jordan Gray
11 Ways To Be A More Attractive Man (or How To Fight Entropy 101)
You know what I’m really tired of? Articles that promise the fastest, easiest, lowest-barrier-to-entry bullshit tips on how men can improve themselves. Since when are we all after the quick and easy silver bullet? Have we collectively become that lazy as a society that we’re all perpetually...
Continue Reading
Why Self-Help Doesn't Work
May 18, 2013
Jordan Gray
Why Self-Help Doesn’t Work
Self help can suck. Helping yourself is noble and can be effective to a point... but that's one of its drawbacks: it's limited. No matter how many books you read on self-development (motivation, attraction, and so on), you can only grow so much by teaching yourself because 1) you don't know where...
Continue Reading
What To Do When She Is Mad At You
Nov 5, 2013
Jordan Gray
What To Do When She Is Mad At You
Her arms are crossed. She’s stopped communicating with you entirely. She's reluctant to make eye contact with you… and when she does look your way, her gaze is hollow and icy. You rack your brain for what you could have done… What did you say? Did your flirty banter with that waitress over lunch go...
Continue Reading
Suicidal To Successful To Self-Loving: The First 33 Years Of My Life
May 25, 2020
Jordan Gray
Suicidal To Successful To Self-Loving: The First 33 Years Of My Life
The following is a summary of the first 33 years of my life. Kind of like a thus-far-autobiography. It should be noted that I am an unreliable narrator... as all narrators are. Because my perspectives are only my own. I'm sure some facts are muddied by my highly fallible human memory, especially...
Continue Reading
How To Own Your Shadow Before It Owns You
Jan 20, 2019
Jordan Gray
How To Own Your Shadow Before It Owns You
In this article, I am going to dive into everything you need to know about the shadow. How to face it, own it, integrate it, and use it as your rocket fuel. Ignore this advice, and your shadow will own you. It will wreak havoc in your relationships. Left unfaced, your shadow becomes the anchor being...
Continue Reading