Apr 8, 2016

It’s Terrifying And Then It’s Amazing

I’m going on an airplane tomorrow. And I really, truly do not enjoy flying.

I know… it’s a modern miracle… and it’s all “WOW I’M IN THE SKY RIGHT NOW!”… but I can’t help but feel like we’re going to drop out of the sky at any moment. Even though that’s fairly impossible. And even though there’s a way higher chance of me dying from just taking a shower, I still find my heart racing when the plane’s wheels leave the ground.

But it’s worth it. Flying is worth it because on the other side of my tense forearms, anxious thoughts, and nervous poops is travel!

New places. New experiences. New lessons to be learned. New friends to connect with.

For me, flying in a plane is essentially always terrifying… and then what I get to do after the flying happens is amazing.

And that’s life. It’s terrifying, and then it’s amazing.

It’s Terrifying And Then It’s Amazing

Allowing yourself to truly dive into a new and promising romantic relationship can be scary… and then after a few weeks or months of dates and Do-they-really-like-me-as-much-as-I-like-them?’s, you settle into something beautiful and it expands your heart more than you ever thought something could.

Deciding to put it all on the line to start your own business is one of the most daring things that we can do with our lives. But if you truly allow yourself to dive into the exhilaration of the experience, you might end up building something that gives you a greater sense of freedom, fulfillment, and joy than anything else in your life (outside of your intimate relationship).

Being vulnerable in a conversation with someone you’ve just met is nerve-racking, but if you do it (with someone who feels trustworthy) then you’ll open up the opportunity for your conversation to go a whole new level of depth and intimacy when they choose to meet you in the deep end.

Diving into your greatest fear with your coach/therapist/self can be absolutely horrifying. Maybe you’ve spent years or decades running away from your fear. But once you’ve faced it, acknowledged the truth of the situation, and allowed yourself to move through the pain of it, you get to be free of it forever. A short period of pain, for decades of ease. It’s worth it.

Where in your life do you need to allow yourself to leap into something scary?

What terrifying thing is holding you back from moving into the next iteration of who you know you’re capable of being?

Remember, the terror is temporary.

It’s terrifying for a moment, and then it’s amazing forever after.

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
7 Things All Women Need In A Relationship
Dec 9, 2013
Jordan Gray
7 Things All Women Need In A Relationship
When it comes to what women need in a relationship, men and women are at an emotional stalemate. We feel something lacking in our relationships. The majority of modern men aren't able to penetrate their women fully, nor are women fully opening to their men. Women aren't opening because men aren't giving...
Continue Reading
7 Popular Mistakes You Don’t Want To Make
Sep 24, 2025
Jordan Gray
7 Popular Mistakes You Don’t Want To Make
We all want to live a meaningful life, but most of us unknowingly carry blind spots that hold us back. And they don’t always look like “big”, punch-you-in-the-face-obvious mistakes. They usually show up as quiet, subtle defaults. Left unchecked (and unseen), these patterns inevitably rob us of growth,...
Continue Reading
7 Reasons Life Gets Easier With Age
Sep 30, 2016
Jordan Gray
7 Reasons Life Gets Easier With Age
A few years ago my 50+ year old dad told me that he had never been happier at any other point in his life, and I thought that he was kidding himself. How could this be? As you get older, everyone you know starts to die… you only get more responsibility and things to manage… and you get all saggy and...
Continue Reading
How To Respond When Someone Tells You They’re Feeling Suicidal
Jan 3, 2020
Jordan Gray
How To Respond When Someone Tells You They’re Feeling Suicidal
The topics of mental health and depression didn’t rise into mainstream conversation until a few years ago. While it’s better late than never, this sadly means the majority of us were never openly educated on how to support someone who is struggling and contemplating suicide. Many people were trained...
Continue Reading
7 Things That Women Will Always Be Attracted To
Apr 22, 2014
Jordan Gray
7 Things That Women Will Always Be Attracted To
If there's one thing that I've learned in my career as a relationship coach it's that guys’ beliefs about what actually attracts women is pretty ass-backwards. Men have been raised with the false belief that they should always appear detached, cool and unemotional, 24/7, or risk being known in guy...
Continue Reading
What I Learned At Five About Generosity
Jan 10, 2024
Jordan Gray
What I Learned At Five About Generosity
When I was in the first grade (5 years old)... In our classroom, my teacher had this system called 'Good News Notes'. Each student had a little manila envelope stuck to the wall, with their name on it. Jordan. Ashley. Curtis. Jacqueline. Daniel. Philip. These envelopes... lined up side by...
Continue Reading