Nov 5, 2013

What To Do When She Is Mad At You

Her arms are crossed. She’s stopped communicating with you entirely. She’s reluctant to make eye contact with you… and when she does look your way, her gaze is hollow and icy.

You rack your brain for what you could have done… What did you say? Did your flirty banter with that waitress over lunch go too far? Did you say you would do something and you forgot, but she won’t tell you what it is?

Your normally loving and soft woman is shut off and shut down. And you know you can’t even think about trying to kiss her right now.

Whatever the problem is, it’s frustrating you.

Everyone makes mistakes. But sometimes, it feels like you’re the master of messing up.

So where did you go wrong?

Does It Matter?

What if I told you that it almost doesn’t matter what the problem is?

Your partner’s emotional frustration with you isn’t about what she says it’s about (if she is speaking to you at all).

Emotions reveal themselves in layers.

She is cold towards you (anger) because you said or did something that made her feel badly (hurt). The hurt makes her feel powerless so she lashes out with anger to push you away.

The feminine puts up energetic resistance to the masculine to see if it cares enough to push through. The feminine wants to feel the strength that lies within you (mentally and emotionally); it needs to feel that you care enough to bring her back to a place of love.

She felt hurt because your actions/words made her feel rejected. That rejection made her feel fear.

Those feelings of rejection confirmed everything that her innermost insecurities had been telling her all along (e.g., I’m not good enough for him, or I’m too good for him, or I’m not worthy of love and belonging, etc.)

When you say or do anything that makes your woman feel unloved, she will push you away.

You know the expression, “Give them an inch, and they’ll take a mile?” This can be applied to your relationship. If she feels like you pushed her away (emotionally) an inch, then she will give you a mile of emotional space.

What Does All Of This Mean?

She is mad at you because she doesn’t feel you loving her. She doesn’t feel your love and attention and so she starts closing off to you.

The antidote to her feeling unloved is pressing your love into her.

She may resist your initial attempts at reconnecting with her but this is merely the feminine’s energetic resistance. It isn’t that she’s trying to make sure you know you messed up, it’s simply that she wants to make sure you are still loving her. You care enough about her to push through her resistance.

Stare deeply into her eyes, hold her tightly against your body, and kiss her like you mean it. Show her that you love her. Be patient and persistent.

The only thing that can melt her momentary resistance to you is showing your love. Of course, in some instances, an apology might be beneficial. But what she really needs is to be shown love.

Let’s Hug It Out

Whatever you do, don’t get defensive, make excuses for yourself, shout at her, leave the room, or tell her to relax.

All of these things reinforce the fact that you are worried more about your ego than about how your actions or words affected her. It doesn’t matter if you didn’t mean to piss her off… you have already upset her. So validate her emotions by reminding her of your love for her.

Dedicated to your success,

Jordan

Ps. If you enjoyed this article then you’ll most definitely love reading the following:

50 Powerful Romantic Gestures That Will Make Your Partner Melt (e-book)

– How To Stop Any Argument In It’s Tracks (Yes, Really)

7 Powerful Trust Exercises For Couples

6 Connection Exercises For Couples To Build Intimacy

Blog

Related

See All
How To Be A Beast In Bed - Sexually Strengthening Exercises (Pt. 2)
Mar 19, 2014
Jordan Gray
How To Be A Beast In Bed – Sexually Strengthening Exercises (Pt. 2)
This is part two in the series on how to be a beast in bed. Check out part 1 over here. So you've made your wish list, limited your porn use, and questioned the notion that women don't enjoy sex as much as men do. Now that you've connected with your inner beast, it's time to get your physical...
Continue Reading
How To Heal Your Most Debilitating Core Wounds
Sep 24, 2017
Jordan Gray
How To Heal Your Most Debilitating Core Wounds
"I am a burden and a mistake." "All love that is offered to me is fragile and a lie." "Everyone I love secretly hates me and wants me to kill myself." These are the beliefs that dominated me for the majority of my life. I am the youngest of three children in my family. From...
Continue Reading
How To Make It Your Best Year Ever
Dec 23, 2016
Jordan Gray
How To Make It Your Best Year Ever
I’m a sucker for goal setting. Near the end of every year for the past four years I've gone through the same goal-setting process that has allowed me to gain clarity and alignment on what I'm pursuing in my life in the coming year. While there is definitely a part of me that subscribes to the ideology...
Continue Reading
What The Most Compassionate People All Have In Common
Sep 21, 2015
Jordan Gray
What The Most Compassionate People All Have In Common
I was on a weekend retreat in Colorado with thirty other people. Each of the people that were there was selected by the primary criteria of them all being young entrepreneurs who were game-changers in their field (according to the event organizers). There was one woman in particular who I really felt...
Continue Reading
The Real Reason You're Disconnected From Your Body
Aug 5, 2017
Jordan Gray
The Real Reason You’re Disconnected From Your Body
Whether you numb yourself with work, alcohol, sex, drugs, constant social stimulation, sleeping 12+ hours a day, or anything else you use... Whether you're afraid to meditate, go to bed at night and be alone with your racing thoughts, sit still and breathe for a few minutes, or you're constantly busying...
Continue Reading
Does Polyamory Ever Work?
Jan 28, 2021
Jordan Gray
Does Polyamory Ever Work?
Does polyamory ever work? I received the following letter from a reader the other day. "I’ve been struggling for the better part of several months dealing with leaving my ex for the second time (who came back early last year love bombing me for months, then completely shifting saying he wants to...
Continue Reading