Feb 21, 2016

Do This One Thing To Make Any Relationship Thrive

When you were born, you had a unique way about you.

You spoke in a certain way. You admired others in a certain way. You picked up your food in a certain way.

No matter how much your parents, friends, culture, society, and peers tried to shape you into something other than what you were, your unique self has always been shining through in everything that you do.

No matter how much societally imposed persona gets piled up on top of who you were when you were born, your unique self will always still be there.

The way you look into any person’s eyes contains an element of your unique self. Even if your parents said not to stare. Or even if the marketing that surrounded you in your pre-teen years told you to add a bit of soft sexiness to your gaze.

The way that you write words on a page says something about your unique self. Even if you broke a bone in your arm while ice skating when you were younger. Or your third grade teacher taught you to sit up extra straight while writing by hand.

The way that you cuddle your partner says something about your unique self. The way that you hold a book says something about you. The way that you look at musicians playing their music says something about you.

You have your own unique way of being in this world. And so too does everyone you will ever meet.

So the secret to finding a lifelong love (in a friend, a partner, a business partner, or any sort of relationship) is to find someone who’s unique self you resonate with. If their soul was a song, find one that you would gladly listen to forever.

And to strengthen the foundation of your relationship, listen to, and really hear, the nuances of their unique song.

Remind them what their song sounds like when they have forgotten it momentarily. And sing it out loud with them when they have their lungs full of air and tears in their eyes.

Find your own unique self, amidst the societally imposed clutter, and embrace it. Love it. Cherish it.

And find a partner whose unique self you can respect, admire, and adore… up close, and from a distance… for the rest of your life.

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
How To Let Yourself Be Seen By Someone
Apr 4, 2015
Jordan Gray
How To Let Yourself Be Seen By Someone
Letting someone get close enough to hurt you is a terrifying concept for most people. But when you are offered an intimate relationship with someone who has the power, ability, and desire to go deep with you, it’s a shame to not be able to take advantage of that opportunity. Whether you’ve just...
Continue Reading
How To Get A Partner In A Week Using Online Dating
Mar 13, 2016
Jordan Gray
How To Get A Partner In A Week Using Online Dating
Online dating. You’ve heard of it. Maybe you’ve used it, maybe you haven’t. You might think it’s the greatest thing ever, you might think it’s a massive time suck. Whatever your opinions of online dating are, my single, focused goal with this article is to help you find a highly aligned romantic...
Continue Reading
7 Ways To Get Your Physical Touch Needs Met When You’re Single
Dec 31, 2018
Jordan Gray
7 Ways To Get Your Physical Touch Needs Met When You’re Single
Yesterday, a close friend of mine asked me for ideas on how to get their physical touch needs met outside of a relationship (as they are currently single) and I realized I had a lot more to say on the matter than I would have assumed. So, in this article, I am going to dive into seven ways that...
Continue Reading
This Is The Point Of Life
Jan 21, 2017
Jordan Gray
This Is The Point Of Life
We take life so seriously. We’re running from one milestone to the next… thinking that all we are is the sum total of our accomplishments. “Forget human being… I’m a human doing!”, cries the collective wounded unconscious. But we forgot something that our inner child still remembers... The point...
Continue Reading
I Had Sex With Over 300 Women, And Then Got Married
Jul 30, 2023
Jordan Gray
I Had Sex With Over 300 Women, And Then Got Married
Between the ages of 16-30, I had well over 300 sexual partners. At a certain point, I stopped counting... but my best guess would be somewhere between 330-380. When I've told select friends this, they are often amazed. How does someone even rack up those kinds of numbers? In reality, I was absolutely...
Continue Reading
3 Reasons You Date Emotionally Unavailable People (& How To Stop)
Mar 3, 2018
Jordan Gray
3 Reasons You Date Emotionally Unavailable People (& How To Stop)
Do you keep finding yourself dating emotionally unavailable people? Does it frustrate you when you find out that the person you’ve just started seeing is JUST out of a relationship… or that they want to move even more slowly than you’ve already been going… or that they’re emotionally constipated and...
Continue Reading