Feb 21, 2016

Do This One Thing To Make Any Relationship Thrive

When you were born, you had a unique way about you.

You spoke in a certain way. You admired others in a certain way. You picked up your food in a certain way.

No matter how much your parents, friends, culture, society, and peers tried to shape you into something other than what you were, your unique self has always been shining through in everything that you do.

No matter how much societally imposed persona gets piled up on top of who you were when you were born, your unique self will always still be there.

The way you look into any person’s eyes contains an element of your unique self. Even if your parents said not to stare. Or even if the marketing that surrounded you in your pre-teen years told you to add a bit of soft sexiness to your gaze.

The way that you write words on a page says something about your unique self. Even if you broke a bone in your arm while ice skating when you were younger. Or your third grade teacher taught you to sit up extra straight while writing by hand.

The way that you cuddle your partner says something about your unique self. The way that you hold a book says something about you. The way that you look at musicians playing their music says something about you.

You have your own unique way of being in this world. And so too does everyone you will ever meet.

So the secret to finding a lifelong love (in a friend, a partner, a business partner, or any sort of relationship) is to find someone who’s unique self you resonate with. If their soul was a song, find one that you would gladly listen to forever.

And to strengthen the foundation of your relationship, listen to, and really hear, the nuances of their unique song.

Remind them what their song sounds like when they have forgotten it momentarily. And sing it out loud with them when they have their lungs full of air and tears in their eyes.

Find your own unique self, amidst the societally imposed clutter, and embrace it. Love it. Cherish it.

And find a partner whose unique self you can respect, admire, and adore… up close, and from a distance… for the rest of your life.

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
30 Life Lessons From 30 Years Of Living
Apr 24, 2017
Jordan Gray
30 Life Lessons From 30 Years Of Living
It was my 30th birthday a few days ago. Roughly 30 years ago I came into the world a fat, loud, fuzzy little baby. And now I'm a slender, quiet, fuzzy big man. Oh how the times have changed! I'm pretty sure I've learned some things in my 30 years of existing... but at the same time, I feel like the...
Continue Reading
How To Make Friends As An Adult (7 Steps)
Aug 6, 2017
Jordan Gray
How To Make Friends As An Adult (7 Steps)
Hello friend, Let me start with a personal story... When I started this website (back in 2013), I made a conscious decision to de-prioritize the majority of my friendships and focus primarily on creating value for my readers. I would go months without seeing certain friends. When I did socialize...
Continue Reading
Why You Are 30 And Single
Apr 24, 2013
Jordan Gray
Why You Are 30 And Single
With many things in life, a strategy of long term investment is a good idea. Your exercise habits… your diet… your finances… But when it comes to your love life, postponing love because you're still working on yourself (or you say you haven't met the perfect partner yet) can be a misguided intention. I'm...
Continue Reading
7 Things That Women Will Always Be Attracted To
Apr 22, 2014
Jordan Gray
7 Things That Women Will Always Be Attracted To
If there's one thing that I've learned in my career as a relationship coach it's that guys’ beliefs about what actually attracts women is pretty ass-backwards. Men have been raised with the false belief that they should always appear detached, cool and unemotional, 24/7, or risk being known in guy...
Continue Reading
Why Successful Women Struggle In Love
Jul 3, 2017
Jordan Gray
Why Successful Women Struggle In Love
It may seem unusual, but it’s not uncommon for driven, motivated, and successful women to have struggles in the dating world. These women often feel that few men make the cut, or when they do, the guy loses interest without much of a clear reason why. This leaves women feeling frustrated and pessimistic,...
Continue Reading
The 60 Day Radical Self-Care Challenge
Jul 24, 2016
Jordan Gray
The 60 Day Radical Self-Care Challenge
Self-care is often seen as a self-indulgent luxury reserved for people with a high sense of self-importance, and that’s a problem. It's cool to be soooo busy. The societal narrative goes that it's impressive to not have enough time to rest, play, or sleep well. The word 'selfish' has been demonized. The...
Continue Reading