Feb 21, 2016

Do This One Thing To Make Any Relationship Thrive

When you were born, you had a unique way about you.

You spoke in a certain way. You admired others in a certain way. You picked up your food in a certain way.

No matter how much your parents, friends, culture, society, and peers tried to shape you into something other than what you were, your unique self has always been shining through in everything that you do.

No matter how much societally imposed persona gets piled up on top of who you were when you were born, your unique self will always still be there.

The way you look into any person’s eyes contains an element of your unique self. Even if your parents said not to stare. Or even if the marketing that surrounded you in your pre-teen years told you to add a bit of soft sexiness to your gaze.

The way that you write words on a page says something about your unique self. Even if you broke a bone in your arm while ice skating when you were younger. Or your third grade teacher taught you to sit up extra straight while writing by hand.

The way that you cuddle your partner says something about your unique self. The way that you hold a book says something about you. The way that you look at musicians playing their music says something about you.

You have your own unique way of being in this world. And so too does everyone you will ever meet.

So the secret to finding a lifelong love (in a friend, a partner, a business partner, or any sort of relationship) is to find someone who’s unique self you resonate with. If their soul was a song, find one that you would gladly listen to forever.

And to strengthen the foundation of your relationship, listen to, and really hear, the nuances of their unique song.

Remind them what their song sounds like when they have forgotten it momentarily. And sing it out loud with them when they have their lungs full of air and tears in their eyes.

Find your own unique self, amidst the societally imposed clutter, and embrace it. Love it. Cherish it.

And find a partner whose unique self you can respect, admire, and adore… up close, and from a distance… for the rest of your life.

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
How To Overcome The 3 Most Common Challenges In Your Life
Aug 19, 2013
Jordan Gray
How To Overcome The 3 Most Common Challenges In Your Life
The masculine energy in all of us thrives on challenge. One of the main reasons that a lot of men enjoy watching professional sports is the inherent challenge tied into the game play. The player has to get the object into the thing… but, oh boy, there's a challenge in the way! And that challenge...
Continue Reading
How I Met My Wife
May 20, 2022
Jordan Gray
How I Met My Wife
In October of 2017, a 24 year old university student, with two names that I wouldn't dare to try to pronounce upon reading them, hired me for a coaching session through my website. When we hopped on the call, she seemed to be someone who was wanting to break free from doing what she was told was the...
Continue Reading
3 Toxic Expectations That Kill Relationships
Apr 26, 2015
Jordan Gray
3 Toxic Expectations That Kill Relationships
Every person comes into relationships with some sort of expectations. Expectations around how they want to be loved. Expectations around how frequently they will communicate with each other. Expectations around what their sex lives will look like. Truly, the potential number of expectations...
Continue Reading
Being A Healthy, Balanced Adult Is Sexy As Fuck
Dec 10, 2018
Jordan Gray
Being A Healthy, Balanced Adult Is Sexy As Fuck
Self-destruction gets a lot of air time in mainstream media. "Look at this nihilistic badass! He’s constantly shit faced, and smoking a cigarette while he looks off camera left at nothing in particular… because, don't you know, nothing’s worth anything anyways." Nihilism gives...
Continue Reading
I Tried To Kill Myself When I Was 15
Feb 25, 2017
Jordan Gray
I Tried To Kill Myself When I Was 15
This question landed in my inbox a few days ago, and it immediately stirred my soul. “Jordan, I found you and your writing when I searched ‘reasons not to kill myself’ and your article came up. First of all, thank you. I can tell that you have the kind of compassion that comes from having truly walked...
Continue Reading
Dating Advice For Introverts: How Being An Introvert Helps You In Your Dating Life
Feb 16, 2013
Jordan Gray
Dating Advice For Introverts: How Being An Introvert Helps You In Your Dating Life
  Dating Advice For Introverts First of all, what is an introvert? Introversion and extroversion are some of the least properly understood terms in psychology. People assume it means whether or not you like to be around people. This is overly simplistic and simply not true. Here is the best...
Continue Reading