Feb 21, 2016

Do This One Thing To Make Any Relationship Thrive

When you were born, you had a unique way about you.

You spoke in a certain way. You admired others in a certain way. You picked up your food in a certain way.

No matter how much your parents, friends, culture, society, and peers tried to shape you into something other than what you were, your unique self has always been shining through in everything that you do.

No matter how much societally imposed persona gets piled up on top of who you were when you were born, your unique self will always still be there.

The way you look into any person’s eyes contains an element of your unique self. Even if your parents said not to stare. Or even if the marketing that surrounded you in your pre-teen years told you to add a bit of soft sexiness to your gaze.

The way that you write words on a page says something about your unique self. Even if you broke a bone in your arm while ice skating when you were younger. Or your third grade teacher taught you to sit up extra straight while writing by hand.

The way that you cuddle your partner says something about your unique self. The way that you hold a book says something about you. The way that you look at musicians playing their music says something about you.

You have your own unique way of being in this world. And so too does everyone you will ever meet.

So the secret to finding a lifelong love (in a friend, a partner, a business partner, or any sort of relationship) is to find someone who’s unique self you resonate with. If their soul was a song, find one that you would gladly listen to forever.

And to strengthen the foundation of your relationship, listen to, and really hear, the nuances of their unique song.

Remind them what their song sounds like when they have forgotten it momentarily. And sing it out loud with them when they have their lungs full of air and tears in their eyes.

Find your own unique self, amidst the societally imposed clutter, and embrace it. Love it. Cherish it.

And find a partner whose unique self you can respect, admire, and adore… up close, and from a distance… for the rest of your life.

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
How To Optimize Your Dating Profile If You’re A Catch
Jan 2, 2024
Jordan Gray
How To Optimize Your Dating Profile If You’re A Catch
Congratulations on being a catch! Now, let's make sure your online dating profile is as awesome as you are. In this guide, we'll dive into the art of crafting a profile that screams 'I'm the one you've been swiping for!' Get ready for practical tips, counter-cultural tweaks, and an appropriately finessed...
Continue Reading
What To Talk About On A First Date
Apr 2, 2014
Jordan Gray
What To Talk About On A First Date
No matter how many first dates you’ve been on, they are always a bit nerve-racking. You show up with sweaty palms and racing thoughts ("Will they be fun… or awkward? Will I be attracted to them? Will the date go as well as I think it might?"), hoping that you make a real connection with someone...
Continue Reading
5 Weird Stress Busting Techniques You’ve Never Heard Of
Dec 10, 2016
Jordan Gray
5 Weird Stress Busting Techniques You’ve Never Heard Of
When I'm curious about something, I deep dive all the way into it. When I was 16 years old and first discovered the self-help, sex, and relationships sections of my favourite book store, I consumed hundreds of books within the first two years. When I found out that it was possible to make a living...
Continue Reading
5 Steps To Working Through Entitlement In Relationships
Sep 30, 2020
Jordan Gray
5 Steps To Working Through Entitlement In Relationships
Intimate relationships are breeding grounds for entitlement to surface. And it's understandable that this theme would bubble up in certain partnerships. If we're being honest with ourselves, we all have an entitled child inside of us who wants life to be easier than it sometimes feels. Who would...
Continue Reading
How Women Actually Feel When Men Cry (11 Women Speak)
Feb 25, 2018
Jordan Gray
How Women Actually Feel When Men Cry (11 Women Speak)
For the majority of my twenties, I didn't cry in front of a woman once. I was terrified to. I had taken on the conditioned message that 'boys don't cry' and a belief that told me that women felt repulsed by men who felt their feelings. These years of emotional constipation turned me into a suppressed,...
Continue Reading
Stop Lying To Yourself
Aug 18, 2017
Jordan Gray
Stop Lying To Yourself
If “the truth shall set you free”, then lying to yourself will imprison you. Adults are phenomenally adept at avoiding the truth. In fact, most of society (and the majority of social interactions in general) are founded on overt and covert lies. Enabling. Half-truths. White-lies. Whatever you want...
Continue Reading