Feb 21, 2016

Do This One Thing To Make Any Relationship Thrive

When you were born, you had a unique way about you.

You spoke in a certain way. You admired others in a certain way. You picked up your food in a certain way.

No matter how much your parents, friends, culture, society, and peers tried to shape you into something other than what you were, your unique self has always been shining through in everything that you do.

No matter how much societally imposed persona gets piled up on top of who you were when you were born, your unique self will always still be there.

The way you look into any person’s eyes contains an element of your unique self. Even if your parents said not to stare. Or even if the marketing that surrounded you in your pre-teen years told you to add a bit of soft sexiness to your gaze.

The way that you write words on a page says something about your unique self. Even if you broke a bone in your arm while ice skating when you were younger. Or your third grade teacher taught you to sit up extra straight while writing by hand.

The way that you cuddle your partner says something about your unique self. The way that you hold a book says something about you. The way that you look at musicians playing their music says something about you.

You have your own unique way of being in this world. And so too does everyone you will ever meet.

So the secret to finding a lifelong love (in a friend, a partner, a business partner, or any sort of relationship) is to find someone who’s unique self you resonate with. If their soul was a song, find one that you would gladly listen to forever.

And to strengthen the foundation of your relationship, listen to, and really hear, the nuances of their unique song.

Remind them what their song sounds like when they have forgotten it momentarily. And sing it out loud with them when they have their lungs full of air and tears in their eyes.

Find your own unique self, amidst the societally imposed clutter, and embrace it. Love it. Cherish it.

And find a partner whose unique self you can respect, admire, and adore… up close, and from a distance… for the rest of your life.

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
There Is Freedom In Commitment
Aug 12, 2018
Jordan Gray
There Is Freedom In Commitment
We fear that making commitments limits our freedom, when really, making the right commitments gives us more freedom than anything else we could do for ourselves. Allow me to paint a picture by contrasting two clients I worked with within the last decade. Karissa was terrified of...
Continue Reading
Feeling Sad/Anxious/Grumpy? Read This
Aug 19, 2017
Jordan Gray
Feeling Sad/Anxious/Grumpy? Read This
Bad days happen. They are unavoidable. But sometimes our minds take our bad days and make them appear much worse than they actually are. Go through this series of questions, reminders, and action steps whenever you’re in the dumps and you want to get back to feeling grounded, connected, and conten...
Continue Reading
Givers and Takers: How To Make Sure Your Relationship Lasts
May 10, 2015
Jordan Gray
Givers and Takers: How To Make Sure Your Relationship Lasts
I have worked with countless couples over the past several years on helping them have the most intensely satisfying intimate relationships possible. And through my time as a relationship coach I have noticed a major trend. There are two primary types of couples that come to me… Couples that are struggling...
Continue Reading
Half A Dozen Hacks For A Thriving Relationship
Aug 7, 2013
Jordan Gray
Half A Dozen Hacks For A Thriving Relationship
With online dating and booming big city populations changing the dating scene in a massive way, relationships are suffering. It's easy to devalue intimacy when the frictionless market of dating allows you to get out of your current relationship and into a new one within a few days. But you're not...
Continue Reading
7 Daily Habits That Have Contributed To My Success
Oct 7, 2016
Jordan Gray
7 Daily Habits That Have Contributed To My Success
Your habits make you who you are. This isn’t a new concept. What you do, you become. Small actions done consistently over time add up and become much larger things. Small things done over time add up into pleasure, joy, and comfort. Those same things neglected over time lead to pain, disease, discomfort,...
Continue Reading
How To Change Your Partner
Jul 22, 2014
Jordan Gray
How To Change Your Partner
One of the most common questions that I get asked by my clients is how they can encourage their partner to grow and develop as a person, while bringing up the subject from a loving place (as opposed to a challenging place that would make them think something was wrong with them). Whether you want...
Continue Reading