Feb 21, 2016

Do This One Thing To Make Any Relationship Thrive

When you were born, you had a unique way about you.

You spoke in a certain way. You admired others in a certain way. You picked up your food in a certain way.

No matter how much your parents, friends, culture, society, and peers tried to shape you into something other than what you were, your unique self has always been shining through in everything that you do.

No matter how much societally imposed persona gets piled up on top of who you were when you were born, your unique self will always still be there.

The way you look into any person’s eyes contains an element of your unique self. Even if your parents said not to stare. Or even if the marketing that surrounded you in your pre-teen years told you to add a bit of soft sexiness to your gaze.

The way that you write words on a page says something about your unique self. Even if you broke a bone in your arm while ice skating when you were younger. Or your third grade teacher taught you to sit up extra straight while writing by hand.

The way that you cuddle your partner says something about your unique self. The way that you hold a book says something about you. The way that you look at musicians playing their music says something about you.

You have your own unique way of being in this world. And so too does everyone you will ever meet.

So the secret to finding a lifelong love (in a friend, a partner, a business partner, or any sort of relationship) is to find someone who’s unique self you resonate with. If their soul was a song, find one that you would gladly listen to forever.

And to strengthen the foundation of your relationship, listen to, and really hear, the nuances of their unique song.

Remind them what their song sounds like when they have forgotten it momentarily. And sing it out loud with them when they have their lungs full of air and tears in their eyes.

Find your own unique self, amidst the societally imposed clutter, and embrace it. Love it. Cherish it.

And find a partner whose unique self you can respect, admire, and adore… up close, and from a distance… for the rest of your life.

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
3 Questions to Ask Yourself on Your Deathbed
May 4, 2013
Jordan Gray
3 Questions to Ask Yourself on Your Deathbed
I'm lying near the peak of a mountain in Lombok, Indonesia. My legs, arms, and chest muscles have been shaking violently for the past twenty minutes. I have lost all feeling in my hands and chest. I'm having trouble breathing. And my vision becomes increasingly distorted by the second. "Are you still...
Continue Reading
10 Simple Ways To Immediately Be More Attractive To Your Man
Jan 9, 2019
Jordan Gray
10 Simple Ways To Immediately Be More Attractive To Your Man
Looking to be more attractive to your man? What a beautiful intention! Go you! Over time, it’s not uncommon for the passion, sexual tension, and romantic energy to dwindle in a relationship. Now, this isn’t an inevitability of being in a long-term relationship (I know many couples who have highly charged...
Continue Reading
5 Practical Ways To Increase Your Emotional Intelligence
Oct 10, 2016
Jordan Gray
5 Practical Ways To Increase Your Emotional Intelligence
“How can I improve my emotional intelligence?” I’ve had three clients ask me this question over the last week, and whenever something pops up that frequently, I usually take it as a sign that it needs it’s own article. What is emotional intelligence? How does having it improve your life? Is it something...
Continue Reading
3 Things To Remember When You’re Falling In Love
Jun 22, 2015
Jordan Gray
3 Things To Remember When You’re Falling In Love
I received this question from a handful of people this past week and figured I’d post my answer publicly. “I’m really starting to fall for someone… and it’s been a while since I’ve been in a relationship. Is there anything I should be watching out for? Common traps that people fall into, etc.?” There’s...
Continue Reading
How To Finally Get Over Your Ex (Even If It Feels Impossible)
Jun 2, 2014
Jordan Gray
How To Finally Get Over Your Ex (Even If It Feels Impossible)
Having trouble getting over your ex? Do you miss the way that they looked at you? The way that they smelled? The way their hand felt in yours? Do you think you see them walking down the street when really it's a stranger? Do you still hear certain music that reminds you of them? When someone...
Continue Reading
How To Change Your Partner
Jul 22, 2014
Jordan Gray
How To Change Your Partner
One of the most common questions that I get asked by my clients is how they can encourage their partner to grow and develop as a person, while bringing up the subject from a loving place (as opposed to a challenging place that would make them think something was wrong with them). Whether you want...
Continue Reading