Feb 21, 2016

Do This One Thing To Make Any Relationship Thrive

When you were born, you had a unique way about you.

You spoke in a certain way. You admired others in a certain way. You picked up your food in a certain way.

No matter how much your parents, friends, culture, society, and peers tried to shape you into something other than what you were, your unique self has always been shining through in everything that you do.

No matter how much societally imposed persona gets piled up on top of who you were when you were born, your unique self will always still be there.

The way you look into any person’s eyes contains an element of your unique self. Even if your parents said not to stare. Or even if the marketing that surrounded you in your pre-teen years told you to add a bit of soft sexiness to your gaze.

The way that you write words on a page says something about your unique self. Even if you broke a bone in your arm while ice skating when you were younger. Or your third grade teacher taught you to sit up extra straight while writing by hand.

The way that you cuddle your partner says something about your unique self. The way that you hold a book says something about you. The way that you look at musicians playing their music says something about you.

You have your own unique way of being in this world. And so too does everyone you will ever meet.

So the secret to finding a lifelong love (in a friend, a partner, a business partner, or any sort of relationship) is to find someone who’s unique self you resonate with. If their soul was a song, find one that you would gladly listen to forever.

And to strengthen the foundation of your relationship, listen to, and really hear, the nuances of their unique song.

Remind them what their song sounds like when they have forgotten it momentarily. And sing it out loud with them when they have their lungs full of air and tears in their eyes.

Find your own unique self, amidst the societally imposed clutter, and embrace it. Love it. Cherish it.

And find a partner whose unique self you can respect, admire, and adore… up close, and from a distance… for the rest of your life.

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
Chivalry Is Far From Dead (And How Women Almost Killed It Off)
Jan 6, 2014
Jordan Gray
Chivalry Is Far From Dead (And How Women Almost Killed It Off)
There is the common misconception out there that chivalry died a painful death many years ago. Is this true? Hardly. Side note: Just so we're all on the same page here… I will define chivalry as the act of being polite to someone else (this doesn't have to be a male acting politely towards a...
Continue Reading
The Ultimate Guide To Attracting A Partner That Aligns With You
Jul 16, 2014
Jordan Gray
The Ultimate Guide To Attracting A Partner That Aligns With You
As much as my books and blog posts largely focus on how to be the ultimate relationship partner, I get asked by men on a daily basis how to meet and attract a quality relationship in the first place. Without further ado, here is what I have learned through 15 years of serial monogamy. While getting...
Continue Reading
How To Get Whatever You Want In Life
Dec 22, 2013
Jordan Gray
How To Get Whatever You Want In Life
People love clinging to their excuses. "I would have a six pack… but I just can't find the time to dedicate to it." "I want to start my own business… but I've got bills to pay." "I want to travel the world… but I have kids/a job/a mortgage that keeps me in one place." Excuses...
Continue Reading
The 3 Most Damaging Myths About Dating
Apr 3, 2015
Jordan Gray
The 3 Most Damaging Myths About Dating
When it comes to relationships, people love to blindly follow black and white rules with zero nuance. Why? Because it feels safer that way. Why tap into your own gut-level intuition when you can just follow the rules that someone else passed on to you? Here are three of the most annoyingly pervasive...
Continue Reading
Why Entrepreneurs Burn Out And Kill Themselves
Feb 20, 2020
Jordan Gray
Why Entrepreneurs Burn Out And Kill Themselves
Three years ago, I received news that an entrepreneur friend of mine had taken his own life. As it is with most suicides, the initial response was shock… It just didn’t add up. From the outside, things seemed to be going fairly well. He always looked sharp and broadcasted a general energy of optimism. ...
Continue Reading
How To Change Your Partner
Jul 22, 2014
Jordan Gray
How To Change Your Partner
One of the most common questions that I get asked by my clients is how they can encourage their partner to grow and develop as a person, while bringing up the subject from a loving place (as opposed to a challenging place that would make them think something was wrong with them). Whether you want...
Continue Reading