Feb 21, 2016

Do This One Thing To Make Any Relationship Thrive

When you were born, you had a unique way about you.

You spoke in a certain way. You admired others in a certain way. You picked up your food in a certain way.

No matter how much your parents, friends, culture, society, and peers tried to shape you into something other than what you were, your unique self has always been shining through in everything that you do.

No matter how much societally imposed persona gets piled up on top of who you were when you were born, your unique self will always still be there.

The way you look into any person’s eyes contains an element of your unique self. Even if your parents said not to stare. Or even if the marketing that surrounded you in your pre-teen years told you to add a bit of soft sexiness to your gaze.

The way that you write words on a page says something about your unique self. Even if you broke a bone in your arm while ice skating when you were younger. Or your third grade teacher taught you to sit up extra straight while writing by hand.

The way that you cuddle your partner says something about your unique self. The way that you hold a book says something about you. The way that you look at musicians playing their music says something about you.

You have your own unique way of being in this world. And so too does everyone you will ever meet.

So the secret to finding a lifelong love (in a friend, a partner, a business partner, or any sort of relationship) is to find someone who’s unique self you resonate with. If their soul was a song, find one that you would gladly listen to forever.

And to strengthen the foundation of your relationship, listen to, and really hear, the nuances of their unique song.

Remind them what their song sounds like when they have forgotten it momentarily. And sing it out loud with them when they have their lungs full of air and tears in their eyes.

Find your own unique self, amidst the societally imposed clutter, and embrace it. Love it. Cherish it.

And find a partner whose unique self you can respect, admire, and adore… up close, and from a distance… for the rest of your life.

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
7 Popular Concepts That I Just Don’t Believe In
Feb 23, 2024
Jordan Gray
7 Popular Concepts That I Just Don’t Believe In
There are a handful of concepts that are so popular… so everywhere… that every time I see them, I just want to shoot myself in the fucking face. Both the frequency of how often I hear about them and the degree to which people believe in them without question really grinds my gears. So, welcome...
Continue Reading
Men Who Cry Are Beautiful
Nov 13, 2016
Jordan Gray
Men Who Cry Are Beautiful
Men are societally discouraged from crying from a young age, and that’s a problem. As a result of men chronically suppressing their emotions, we have a drastically higher rate of suicide. Of course there are other factors that lead to people taking their lives, but I see emotional suppression as the...
Continue Reading
5 Ways To Be A Better Live-In Partner
Jan 13, 2015
Jordan Gray
5 Ways To Be A Better Live-In Partner
Do you live with your significant other, or plan to live with one in the future? Great! Read on… It’s so easy to take our relationship for granted when we live with our partner and see them every day. When you live apart from each other they seem like more of a scarce resource. When will you see...
Continue Reading
The Single Most Damaging Thing I Learned As A Pickup Artist
Aug 6, 2016
Jordan Gray
The Single Most Damaging Thing I Learned As A Pickup Artist
From 2009-2012 I worked as a pickup artist. Technically, it was a milder version of pickup. We taught social skills (conversational agility, eye contact, humour, body language, etc.) to people with some level of social anxiety but it was almost always within the context of approaching and dating women. And...
Continue Reading
5 Powerful Romantic Gestures They Will Remember Forever
Jul 14, 2015
Jordan Gray
5 Powerful Romantic Gestures They Will Remember Forever
Ever wanted to do something truly special for your partner? Maybe you’ve been around the block and you feel like you’ve done all there is to do. Maybe you’re an all-around superb intimate partner in a lot of ways. Maybe… just maybe… on occasion you’ve even managed to make your significant other...
Continue Reading
3 Things To Do About Fear Of Your Partner Dying
Aug 1, 2020
Jordan Gray
3 Things To Do About Fear Of Your Partner Dying
My partner Demetra and I have lived together for a little over a year. We are committed to each other. We talk about getting married in the not-so-distant future. And each time our relationship has gone a layer deeper, we have both had a corresponding layer of fear accompany it. "What if she...
Continue Reading