Oct 30, 2013

How Ejaculating Too Much Drains You

Your sexual energy is the greatest and most potent form of energy available to you.

You can either squander it or utilize it to its fullest potential and let it supercharge your life.

Anecdotal evidence and emerging studies suggest that having fewer orgasms could make you into a more productive, driven, and loving man.

You know that movie Limitless? The main character has access to a magical drug that makes him better on every level… If there was ever something comparable in real life, harnessing your sexual energy would be it.

How It Works

As many men know, sexual energy can be a powerful, all-encompassing beast.

Semen retention is something that high-level professional athletes have practiced for a long time. Do you think Tyson would have bit Holyfield’s ear off if he had masturbated right before the fight? I seriously doubt it.

The number one biologically hard-wired task that all mammals seek is reproduction. If your body thinks that you are already doing fine in the sex category (because you are ejaculating often), then it doesn’t stay motivated to conquer life/accumulate resources/get a mate/etc.

By refraining from ejaculating for a lengthier period of time, your testosterone (i.e. aggression) levels get a boost and you’re more likely to dominate whatever task you’re tackling.

There is a drop in testosterone levels immediately following an ejaculation which makes your mojo drop. Testosterone is present in both men and women and is largely responsible for sexual desire and aggression.

You’ve likely felt the unique sense of numbness that permeates your mind after ejaculating. Now imagine that numbness encompassing your daily mental state as a result of indulging in ejaculation too frequently.

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What Are The Benefits?

You’ll need some encouragement if you’re going to really give this a fair shake.

The benefits of refraining from frequent ejaculation that have been proven scientifically – more energy, better concentration, interacting with potential mates more easily, greater gains from workouts, stronger erections, return to healthier sexual tastes (aka do away with porn), deeper voices, and more optimism.

The benefits that I have seen and felt personally – greater focus, massively increased productivity, greater appreciation for “real” women (aka not porn), more sexually polarized intercourse with my partner, and greater depth, connectedness, and love for the woman in my life.

To put it bluntly, you feel like Superman (or at least the best and most masculine version of yourself that you have ever been). If you are still reading this far in the article, I would strongly suggest you give this experiment a try, if only for a week.

How To Harness Your Sexual Energy (Action Steps)

If you think of your sexual desire like a burning fire, your best results will come when you continue to engage in sexual activity (solo or with a partner/others) while refraining from orgasm. You want to be revving up your internal engine without blowing a gasket.

Here is the process that my clients have consistently found to be the easiest way to transition into harnessing their sexual energy.

1. Commit to trying it.

This doesn’t have to be a forever thing if you don’t enjoy it. Just give it a week and see what happens.

2. Take the first 2-3 days off completely from ejaculating.

Don’t masturbate, don’t have sex, remove all of the stressors that you can from your life, sleep well, and generally take good care of yourself. This will help you get you away from masturbating simply because you think you should, and help you get back to becoming aware of your body (similar to how people eat food because “It’s noon and therefore, lunchtime,” as opposed to eating when actually hungry). A lot of this process is about re-sensitizing your mind to your sexual self.

3. Somewhere between the 3-7 day mark begin to self-pleasure again

… but keep a healthy distance away from the orgasmic point of no return. If you think of your sexual arousal on a scale of 1 to 10, practice intentionally rising and falling your arousal between the 4-8 range while engaging sexually with or without a partner. Doing this will not only stoke your sexual fires, but it will get you more comfortable with realizing where your ejaculatory ‘point of no return’ is to prevent you from premature ejaculation with your partner.

(Want to last for hours in bed? Check out this free bonus ‘5 Guaranteed Ways To Last Longer In Bed’ clip, taken from my Supercharge Your Sex Life video program.)

4. Continue past the one week mark

… and every time you feel a really overwhelming urge to come, channel the energy into something productive. Go to the gym, go for a run, meditate, or do something creative. Redirect the energy into something that benefits you.

5. In the winter/colder months aim for one or two ejaculations per month

… and in the summer (when Taoists believed that your ‘jin’ masculine life force was strongest) aim for two to three ejaculations per month at most.

It’s that simple. Continue to experience sexual pleasure, have fewer orgasms, gain mental clarity, and be able to open your woman more fully.

As another side benefit, the more sexual energy you have to utilize in your sex life, the more you will want to make your partner achieve orgasm. The more you make them orgasm, the more testosterone spikes you get. The awesomeness just never ends.

Trouble Shooting

Worried about the ‘use it or lose it’ philosophy? Glands do not need to be exercised like muscles do. If you really want to see where your sexual body clock is at, think about the frequency of how often you have wet dreams (aka nocturnal emissions for you science people). The gap between having two wet dreams is how often your glands need to ejaculate (at least that’s what they think right now since you’ve trained them to a certain frequency of emissions already). In terms of erectile strength, I have had clients report feeling like their penis had grown somewhat from how much they were inhabiting their cock more fully.

In a relationship and not sure about how your partner will take your new experiment? Make sure that she feels like she is a part of the process with you. Tell her that it isn’t something that you want to do to put distance between the two of you, but rather, to bring you closer together. Of course, any conversation that goes, “I want to orgasm less, so I can make you orgasm more, and be more happy and productive in the process” should be fairly well received.

Final note, this entire post is different for men and women. I’ve already alluded to it briefly up above, but studies have shown that men benefit from having fewer orgasms, while women’s happiness/productivity/creativity benefits from having more orgasms. So if you have a partner, don’t slack while you are refraining. Make your women come, and come again. Give her all of the orgasms that you both would have had and then some.

Finishing Up

Take the challenge. Refrain from ejaculation for a week and see what happens.

Worst case scenario you spend a week of your life feeling mildly frustrated and distracted. Best case scenario you make more money, enjoy greater focus, get bigger muscles, your erections grow, you feel more grounded in your masculinity, and you have women approaching you in the street because “there’s just something about you.”

Try your hand at this, and see what comes from the experiment.

You, your partner, and your sex life will thank you.

Ps. If you enjoyed this article, you’ll also love reading…

Supercharge Your Sex Life (video series for men)

7 Exercises To Increase Sexual Stamina

How To Cultivate Light And Dark Sexual Energy

The Best Sex Toy For Men, Ever

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

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