Jun 8, 2019

A Letter To My 15 Year Old Self

First of all, I’m sorry.

I’m sorry for all of the pain that you’re feeling.

I’m sorry that you don’t feel like you have a family. That you are somehow separate… unwanted… unloved.

None of that is true.

Your family loves you deeply.

Your friends love you deeply.

You are so wanted in this world.

I know that you can’t see it right now, and it’s hard to believe. But I promise you, you are here for a reason.

One day you’re going to grow up to positively impact over a hundred million people. Can you imagine that?

On a near daily basis you will receive messages from other 15 year olds who tell you that something that you created helped them to not end their lives.

You will be here to experience that. What a gift it will be. And it will touch your heart deeply every time it happens.

Another thing I want to warn you about is that your friends won’t live forever.

In fact, you’ll lose three of your favourite people in a three year span and it will be hard for you. Really hard. But you will survive that too.

You see… everything that has ever happened to you, has actually happened for you.

You will be able to connect with such a vast array of people because of all of the pain that you have survived. All of the struggles that you have endured will make your heart even bigger and more accessible.

Which doesn’t mean that your heart will always be accessible. For a good number of years you’ll actually be quite a closed off, arrogant jerk. You’ll be afraid to cry in front of women for most of your 20’s. But you’ll eventually work through that too.

I know life is challenging you right now… and you wish you didn’t exist… or at least that the pain would stop…

But holy fucking shit does your life ever get better if you decide to stick around.

You will have friends who support you more than you ever thought you’d be able to be supported by anyone. You’ll wake up every morning and do work that you adore. You’ll feel safe to love and be loved.

You’re currently at a fork in the road. You can either let your pain crush you, or you can use it to motivate yourself to serve humanity, and heal yourself.

Spoiler alert: you’re going to decide to use it.

And I’m so thankful for that.

I love you. I’m proud of you. Everything that is happening to you is happening for a reason.

Tell your friends and family that you love them. All the time. Don’t even worry about being annoying about it. Keep telling them as much as your big, caring heart wants to.

Let life blow holes in your heart… and just know that those holes are going to be the catalyst for you to love even bigger and deeper than you already do.

Keep breathing. Keep moving forwards. Keep opening your heart to love, even when you’re afraid to do so (especially when you’re afraid to do so).

Sincerely,

You in 17 years.

Blog

Related

See All
How To Heal Your Father Wound
Mar 1, 2020
Jordan Gray
How To Heal Your Father Wound
There’s a lot of talk about how modern men are in crisis. Statistics say they’re lagging socially, academically, and romantically. They’re drastically leading the numbers in suicide and violent crime. It also seems they’re getting a bad reputation among women in the dating world, stereotyped as acting...
Continue Reading
Why It's Easier Than Ever To Stand Out From The Crowd
Jun 4, 2013
Jordan Gray
Why It’s Easier Than Ever To Stand Out From The Crowd
We live in a society of instant gratification. There is always an easy way out or shortcut to take advantage of.  Men are being encouraged to do the bare minimum to achieve result in their lives.  And this trend is negatively affecting modern masculinity. The masculine in you thrives off of being...
Continue Reading
7 Ways To Get Your Physical Touch Needs Met When You’re Single
Dec 31, 2018
Jordan Gray
7 Ways To Get Your Physical Touch Needs Met When You’re Single
When I was in early elementary, every day I came home from school, I would immediately tear off all of my clothes (down to my underwear) and latch on to whichever parent was relaxing in the living room. My parents nicknamed me 'cuddle bug' for the majority of my childhood, and deservedly so....
Continue Reading
How To Make It Your Best Year Ever
Dec 23, 2016
Jordan Gray
How To Make It Your Best Year Ever
I’m a sucker for goal setting. Near the end of every year for the past four years I've gone through the same goal-setting process that has allowed me to gain clarity and alignment on what I'm pursuing in my life in the coming year. While there is definitely a part of me that subscribes to the ideology...
Continue Reading
There Is Freedom In Commitment
Aug 12, 2018
Jordan Gray
There Is Freedom In Commitment
We fear that making commitments limits our freedom, when really, making the right commitments gives us more freedom than anything else we could do for ourselves. Allow me to paint a picture by contrasting two clients I worked with within the last decade. Karissa was terrified of...
Continue Reading
How To Get The Slight Edge In Your Relationship
Aug 22, 2015
Jordan Gray
How To Get The Slight Edge In Your Relationship
Have you ever heard of the book 'The Slight Edge' by Jeff Olson? It's one of my all time favourite self-help books that I re-read every year or so. It isn’t a problem if you haven’t read it… since I’m about to summarize the whole book into one sentence. The basic premise of The Slight Edge is that… Small,...
Continue Reading