Mar 13, 2014

How To Find And Date High Value Women

As someone who has their life together, you want someone who brings equal value to your life.

After enough disappointing dates you might find yourself craving a partner who is more challenging, more evolved, and more your type of people.

Some of your friends tell you that you are being too picky, but you just have different standards than they do.

By following these simple tips, you should be able to get around, meet, and attract high value women with ease.

What To Look For In Their Personality

If you don’t know what you’re looking for, then you’ll never know when you’ve found it.

For simplicity’s sake, I will define a high value woman as someone who is in good shape, comes across as friendly and approachable in all social situations, has their financial life sorted out and doesn’t need a man to support her, and has a sense of adventure and curiosity about the world.

Basically a high value woman (just like any high value person) is someone who is intentional about getting the most from life.

Do you have this kind of person clearly visualized in your mind? Great. Hold on to that mental image.

high value women, date high value women

Tips On Where To Find High Value Women

When you want to find your kind of people, the best overarching advice is to live the kind of life that makes you the happiest version of yourself possible and you will attract the kind of people that are already aligned with your best self.

We attract what we are. If you want someone who is active, nurturing, and financially independent, then you must first go and do things that make you active, self-nurturing, etc.

But if you’re looking for some specific examples, you are in luck.

Here are some road-tested examples of places to consistently meet high value women.

1. Where to Meet Active Women

Attractive character traits: fit, determined, motivated.

high value women, woman with weights

a. Indoor Rock Climbing

Indoor rock climbers tend to have toned bodies, strategic minds, and they thrive on adrenaline.

Ask if they need someone to belay for them, or challenge them to a bouldering duel (even if you’re not that good it’ll still be an ice breaker).

b. Mountain Hiking

If you want a partner who has cardiovascular endurance and an appreciation for natural beauty, you’ll find the jackpot in a hiker.

Carry extra water, snacks, bug spray, and sunscreen in your day pack just in case you can help out your future partner with any common hiking related inconveniences. If they’re just as prepared as you are, you can always offer to take a photo of them and send it to them.

c. Gym

Women very rarely want to be hit on when they’re at the gym. They’re sweaty, they’re trying to focus, they usually don’t have make up on, and their headphones are in for a reason.

But that doesn’t mean that the gym isn’t an amazing place to meet high quality women. You just have to go about it differently than most men do.

Become a regular, and gain trust and rapport with your dream woman over the course of a few weeks (start small by saying ‘Hi’ and having a friendly vibe, and escalate to conversation after a week or two).

Don’t rush the connection with high value women in the gym. Because you can reliably assume that you’ll be seeing her a few times per week for the next few months time is on your side. Easy does it.

2. Where to Meet Socially Competent Go-Getters

Attractive character traits: hard working, ambitious, socially intelligent.

high value women

a. Improv class

Want a partner who is willing to push her comfort zones and is willing to laugh at herself when times get tough? Try dropping into a few improv classes.

You’ll become more funny, socially competent, flexible, and confident in the process. Some of the most intelligent women I’ve ever met I met through drop-in improv classes. You’d be surprised at the calibre of people that choose to challenge themselves in front of a group of strangers for two hours.

b. Networking events

Networking events can be hit or miss so make sure you’re paying attention to the quality of the attendees before you attend. That being said, just like in real life, for every twenty duds you have to work your way through you’ll find someone who blows you away.

c. Property investment seminars

If you want to be in a room of people who have their financial lives handled, check out a weekend-long property investment seminar where the ticket price is over $3,000 to attend.

Just make sure that your conversation starter isn’t about the event or their personal investment portfolio. You don’t want to come across as a gold digger.

Instead, start a conversational thread with something you observed. For example, “You were so focused when you were taking notes during the last speaker. It looked like you were peering into his soul!”

3. Where to Meet Self-Development Junkies

Attractive character traits: self-aware, independent, high moral code.

high value women

a. Book Stores

The best part about finding romantic partners in book stores is that they categorize themselves. Want someone who is into naturopathic medicine? Go to the health section. Want someone who is a good cook (or at least is trying to be one)? Go to the food section. You get the drill.

As always, approach women in a selective and calibrated way. Strike up a conversation with someone as you are already searching for books. Don’t just go to the book store in order to approach multiple women. It’s low-value and they will pick up on your intention before you even open your mouth.

b. Self-Development Conferences

One of the most obvious ways to find a woman who is into living a high-value and intentional life is to go straight to the training grounds of intentional people… self-development seminars.

Whether or not you have been to one before, check out a Tony Robbins event in a city near you. While a decent percentage of the people will likely be Kool-Aid pounding weirdos, you’ll find a few high-quality diamonds in the rough.

c. Coffee Shop With Journal or Book In Hand

If you want to find a partner who is highly self-aware and curious about the world, scan your local coffee shops/parks/restaurants for women who are either reading self-development books or who are writing in a personal journal.

Every partner I’ve ever dated who kept an active journal was a highly self-sufficient and self-aware person. Understandably, this pays dividends in the context of an intimate relationship.

4. Where to Meet Spiritual Women

Attractive character traits: calm, emotionally intuitive, forgiving.

feminine woman, high value women

a. Breathwork Classes

If you have yet to go to a breath work class then you’re missing out (and not just for the potential partner finding).

Breathwork reduces stress and anxiety, boosts energy and mood, and helps you sleep better. Not only that, you can find a plethora of high value women that are spiritual but aren’t necessarily as plugged in to the cult of hot yoga (my L.A. and Vancouver readers know what I’m talking about).

Being mindful of the fact that she might not want to be chatted up, make eye contact in a friendly way after class. If she seems receptive and she reciprocates your attempts at conversation then ask her to join you for a coconut water or smoothie nearby.

b. Yoga

The benefits to women who follow the cult of yoga are so obvious that they don’t even need to be listed. If you’ve seen a present, conscious woman in yoga pants, you don’t need any convincing as to why this is a good idea to meet women before or after a class.

c. Silent Meditation Retreats

For the truly introspective and those who are serious about getting clarity in their life’s path and purpose, check out a ten day silent retreat (commonly referred to as a vipassana). Similarly to the breath work class, you’ll want to make your introductions before or after the retreat.

Think it can’t be done? I have a client who met his wife at a vipassana retreat (and they recently celebrated their six year anniversary).

5. Where to Meet Feminine Women

Attractive character traits: nurturing, loving, supportive.

feminine energy, butterfly, high value women

a. Salsa Dance Events

If you would describe your ideal woman as a “spitfire” or “a troublemaker” then salsa nights are one of your best bets for finding your future significant other.

Learn a few basic steps ahead of time (via YouTube or by taking private lessons) and go to the event solo. You’ll be surprised how open and relaxed some of the women are… plus you get to touch them!!! It’s like grade school all over again… but better.

b. Cooking Classes

Similar to the culinarily inclined women that you met in the book store, the attendees of cooking classes are putting their money where their mouth is and trying their hand at a few new recipes.

The classes are often reasonably priced, uber-educational, and you can even go to singles-only cooking classes where the point of the event is to meet new romantic partners. Delicious!

c. Acting Classes

I personally attended a week long acting workshop (as the only non-actor out of about 100 people) last year and was blown away by the sheer amount of feminine energy in a single room.

We spent the week talking about our feelings, diving deep into our emotional patterns and processes, and letting go of past trauma that was holding us back from being our true selves.

I left the event with a newfound appreciation for actors, a feeling of overall emotional contentment, and seven phone numbers from amazing, high value women. Remember, be the change that you wish to see in your life and you will attract even more of it than you can handle.

How To Meet High Value Women

Ultimately, the world will only let us have what we are ready for. If you are still emotionally underdeveloped or have a deep rooted fear of intimacy, then you might find it difficult to connect with high value women (no matter where you find them).

While more than 90% of attracting a high value partner is about building up your own internal self-love and sense of self-worth, at a certain point you have to be intentional about finding the partner you are aching to connect with.

Let me know if you need any help with this process.

Dedicated to your success,

Jordan

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
Why You Should Have A Morning Routine
Apr 12, 2016
Jordan Gray
Why You Should Have A Morning Routine
Do you have a morning routine? Some of the most successful, productive, grounded, and happy people I've ever had the pleasure of meeting have morning routines that they regularly turn to in order to start their days off on the right foot. The biggest difference I have noticed my morning routine make...
Continue Reading
The Importance Of Celebrating Success
Mar 18, 2013
Jordan Gray
The Importance Of Celebrating Success
The Importance Of Celebrating Success My torso is covered in neon green and blue body paint.  I'm drinking cheap vodka out of a bucket with a glow-in-the-dark straw.  My arms are wrapped around a beautiful, Scandinavian woman that I met no less than five minutes ago. I look over...
Continue Reading
4 Things That Keep Men From Committing To You
Jun 22, 2020
Jordan Gray
4 Things That Keep Men From Committing To You
For a man to place two feet fully into a relationship, he needs to feel that certain key boxes are checked in his life. When they aren’t, he won’t be able to feel a clear “Yes,” which may cause him to feel ambiguous and resistant around committing to a woman. Based on the title of this article, you...
Continue Reading
What 100 People Said Their Ideal Love Life Looks Like
Apr 5, 2015
Jordan Gray
What 100 People Said Their Ideal Love Life Looks Like
I recently asked 50 men and 50 women a simple question regarding their ideal love life. I asked them to each complete a single “sentence stem” five times. That sentence stem was “If I were to take full responsibility in my love life…”. Their answers were inspiring, beautiful, heart-warming,...
Continue Reading
How To Have Amazing Sex While Quarantining
Mar 19, 2020
Jordan Gray
How To Have Amazing Sex While Quarantining
Are you currently quarantining yourself indoors because of this whole Coronavirus/COVID-19 pandemic? And are you still a sexual being? Yes, of course you are! Regardless of the extent of self-quarantining and/or social distancing that you are currently engaging in, you are still a soft-bodied human...
Continue Reading
5 Steps To Cultivating Courage
Jul 8, 2013
Jordan Gray
5 Steps To Cultivating Courage
Cultivating courage is an essential process in the journey towards living your full life.  It takes courage to discover (and live) who you are. I define courage as having a strong enough of a mind to act in times of challenge, pain, or anxiety despite fear.  Not in the absence of fear… but...
Continue Reading