Mar 10, 2013

How To Plan Powerful Dates: Best Date Ideas

How To Plan Powerful Dates: Best Date Ideas

We live in a very new and unique dating culture.

For the first time in human history, getting in and out of relationships is remarkably easy.  Thanks to the combined factors of online dating, rapid-fire communication methods, and the fact that there are seven billion people on this planet, it has never been easier to get your dating life started.

But with great power comes great responsibility.  And men the world over are misusing this privilege.

People are putting less and less effort into planning amazing dates.  They know they can just find a new girlfriend if this one doesn’t work out… so why bother?

First dates don’t lead to second dates… long-term relationships are filled with resentment and lack spontaneity…

And this needs to change.

Here are my top 10 tips for making your dates awesome.
best date ideas, date ideas, powerful dates

1. Have A Plan

The #1 complaint that I get from my female clients is “my boyfriend doesn’t put in effort any more”.  If you show up to a first date and you say to your date “So, I’m pretty easy going, what do you feel like doing tonight?” you instantly lose ten attraction points.  Show up with a plan, remain flexible with it, and show your willingness to put forth effort into your relationship.

2. Initiate touch right away

The main difference between someone you are dating and everyone else in your life is that you have physical intimacy with your partner.   If you wait too long into the date to initiate touch, it only gets more awkward when you suddenly bring it up.  When you meet up touch her as soon as possible.  Give her a hug hello.  Touch the fabric of her shirt while you compliment it.  Playfully nudge her while you walk together to the first part of your date.  Just do something.

3. Make Her Feel Safe

Women live in a bit of a different world when it comes to their day-to-day feelings of safety.  Most men can’t remember the last time they felt intimidated or worried for their safety.  Women, comparatively, have these thoughts and feelings on a weekly basis.  If it is a first date, don’t crowd her when you first meet up.  Give her some space so you can size each other up and let the attraction process take its natural course.

4. Encourage Depth In Your Conversation

A man who can handle himself in a conversation is attractive to women.  As you get to know each other, make sure you don’t shy away from topics that others might not be able to handle.  Women want a man who can handle himself in a conversation.  If you lose your cool when she unexpectedly brings up sex, spirituality, your morals, or values, then you could easily get slotted into “boy-man” territory.  Also, don’t just wait for these topics to be brought up, bring them up.  Ask her questions like “so what would I know about you if I really knew you?”.  Go deep.  She’ll be glad you did.

5. Share An Experience

If there was one major point to learn around what kind of dates to plan, it would be this…  People bond over shared experiences.  Play pool, go bowling, watch a live comedy show, or make a painting together.  Planning your dates around activities also helps the conversation flow.

6. Make Her Feel Like A Woman

Don’t treat your date like an interview.  The person across from you is a woman and deserves to be treated as such.  Engage in conversation from an emotion-based perspective.  Engage her on her passions and interests.  Leave the boring, logical conversation at the door.

7. Be Playful

Verbal teasing is so much fun when you know how to do it well.  Make sure you poke fun at her (from a place of love) occasionally to keep her on her toes.  Always make it about surface level things, not about her core personality or values.  The fact that she played badminton for a few years when she was younger?  Fair game.  Has she memorized every single episode of Sex And The City?  Go for it.  She has a dream of becoming a lawyer when she’s older?  Don’t go there.  If you attack one of her core values or passions, even playfully, it will come across as mean spirited.  Keep it light.

8. Allow Room For “Negative Space”

Guys that study attraction often feel the need to always be “on” with women.  They feel like if the conversation isn’t flowing smoothly all the way through a date, then they have failed.  This is simply not true.

Negative space is a term used in visual art and in music to describe the space between two things.  In relation to dating, I use this term to describe the silences that will inevitably happen.  Attraction occurs in the space between two people.  It’s very difficult for sexual tension to build if you are rambling on and on about your comic book collection.  Stop talking.  Listen more.  Allow the silence to exist.

9. Handling Payment

I go really in depth in to this topic in my #1 best-selling book on how to execute stellar dates, but suffice it to say it’s quite a simple topic.  The only thing you need to know is that you can’t let the bill cause any awkwardness.  If you planned the date, you should be prepared to cover the costs.  If she wants to split it with you, politely refuse and say that it’s your treat.  Believe me, if you really knew what women were spending on their clothes, make up, and hair on a weekly basis, you would have no problem covering the date.

10. Have Fun

Above all else, have FUN on your dates!  Socializing, dating, and getting to know people is meant to bring joy to your life.  Let go of your agenda for the date and just be present.

If you want to learn more about how to plan awe-inspiring dates, my new book 50 Powerful Date Ideas: Brag-Worthy, Cost-Effective Dates From A Professional Dating Coach was recently released on Amazon.  If you want to be romantic without doing all of the heavy lifting, I recommend you check it out. Or, pick it up as a PDF over here.

Dedicated to your success,

Jordan

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
How To Be A Beast In Bed - Connect With Your Inner Beast (Pt. 1)
Mar 18, 2014
Jordan Gray
How To Be A Beast In Bed – Connect With Your Inner Beast (Pt. 1)
Want to have more energy, feel less stress day to day, and have your significant other respond to you like she did when you first started dating? If there's one thing that being a relationship coach has taught me over the past decade it's this… every guy has some sexual insecurity. Whether it's...
Continue Reading
Is The World Really Ready For Emotional Men?
Nov 12, 2014
Jordan Gray
Is The World Really Ready For Emotional Men?
I was having a conversation with a close friend recently when he posed the question to me… “Is the world really ready for emotional men?” There are so many factors playing into this question (and answer), but I will gladly venture in and lay open this topic. First of all, yes, I do believe...
Continue Reading
How To Know If You Are A Catch: A Quiz
Sep 4, 2024
Jordan Gray
How To Know If You Are A Catch: A Quiz
So you think you're a catch, but how can you know for sure? Your friends aren't the most reliable source to ask, because they're biased. And you can't just go ask your exes, because, you know, they're your exes. Here's what I can offer you. Read through the following 100 questions. For every...
Continue Reading
8 Reasons You Won’t Attract A Conscious Man (As You Currently Are)
Mar 1, 2024
Jordan Gray
8 Reasons You Won’t Attract A Conscious Man (As You Currently Are)
Think you're ready for a relationship with a conscious man? The truth might surprise you. If you have been single for years, and yet you have the desire to be in a committed relationship with a man who meets you on all levels, there could be some unconscious blocks that are keeping you from attracting...
Continue Reading
3 Tips For A Better Relationship With Your Man
May 31, 2020
Jordan Gray
3 Tips For A Better Relationship With Your Man
Want to inspire your man’s deepest love and commitment? And see just how romantic and emotionally available he can be? Or, if you’re single: Do you want to set yourself up to attract the man of your dreams with total ease? If you do the following three things I’m about to explain, you just might be...
Continue Reading
10 Questions To Ask To Go Deep In Your Relationship
Aug 19, 2014
Jordan Gray
10 Questions To Ask To Go Deep In Your Relationship
Let’s face it... we all love taking short cuts. And, if we aren't careful, our relationships are often taken for granted. But too many short cuts can lead to a lazy, unintentional relationship that merely exists, instead of thrives. If you want to shed years of emotional baggage, feel loved and...
Continue Reading