Apr 24, 2024

5 Kinds Of People To Avoid

Ever found yourself in a relationship that drains your energy faster than water pours out of a busted fire hydrant?

In a world full of diverse personalities, there are a few you might want to avoid.

While by no means an exhaustive list, the following are a collection of some of the worst offenders.

If you allow any of these types to have any kind of real, sustained access to you, you’ll practically be gasping for air in no time.

Brace yourself as we delve into the top five types of people you’d be wise to avoid like the plague.

5 Types Of People To Avoid

people to avoid

1. The Dreamkiller

Do you aspire to anything in your life? Do you want a beautiful, reciprocal, loving relationship? An exciting, fulfilling career? A fit, healthy body? Well, the last thing you should do is tell a Dreamkiller about it.

A Dreamkiller has only one objective – to make you doubt yourself and disbelieve that you’ll ever amount to anything.

Dreamkillers pounce on any ounce of hope, joy, or excitement that they see others experiencing. Why? Because they allowed themselves to squash their own dreams long ago.

Either they settled for a less-than version of their dream reality, or they never even began the journey to begin with.

Either way, their mission is singular: Smother your flame, so that they feel better about themselves and their lack of results.

If you realize that you have allowed a Dreamkiller to sneak into your inner circle (i.e. your significant other, or one of your closest friends) I would strongly encourage you to discontinue and/or renegotiate the terms of the relationship. Life is far too short to allow a Dreamkiller to get direct access to your energy.

2. The Constant Complainer

As the saying goes, ‘Misery loves company.’

The Constant Complainer would prefer to bitch, moan, and complain about their lives instead of taking responsibility for changing it. And why wouldn’t they? They have learned to manipulate those closest to them to give them sympathy when they complain (at least for a time), and so they keep it up. They maintain their relationships with their fellow complainers so long as they follow the script (listen to me complain, complain alongside me, and never ask me to do anything proactively about my situation).

Unless you want your life to be a big, indulgent round of “roll around in the mud,” end these relationships before they have a chance to go deeper.

3. The Perennially Unimpressed

The Perennially Unimpressed person is about as fun as they sound.

They’ve seen everything, they’ve heard everything, and they know everything. They primarily speak the language of sarcasm, they have permanent tan lines on their forearms from keeping their arms crossed, and one of their eyebrows is always slightly raised. Their sense of humor is close to non-existent, and their least favorite type of person to be around is someone who is happy, laughing, and/or positive.

Their feigned indifference and unimpressed’ness is just a front for how brutally intense their inner critic is. They are so hard on themselves (not in a healthy high standards way, but in a brutal, self-flagellating way) that they feel they must have to project their dissatisfaction onto everyone around them.

Something may crack them open in life eventually, but I would strongly recommend not trying to be the force that does it. They have to get to their surrender point on their own (if they get there at all).

4. The Score Keeper

If tit for tat was a person, it’d be the Score Keeper.

Not only do they remember (and have a perfectly itemized mental spreadsheet) of all of the things they’ve ever done for you, they often will intentionally do things for you just to have loaded the gun to then use against you in short order.

With the Score Keeper, there is no such thing as a free lunch. There is no generosity. There is no true giving. Everything is strategically calculated. Good deeds are quickly turned against you and used as ammunition.

These people are exhausting to be in any kind of a relationship with, because everything is a game, and nothing they ‘do’ for you can be trusted. Better to remove yourself from their line of fire entirely.

5. The Scarce, Entitled User

Might I have saved the best for last? Yes, I believe I might have.

The Scarce, Entitled User combines the worst of both worlds. They simultaneously have an overarching sense of scarcity with the world (‘There’s not enough to go around! It’s a dog eat dog world out there!’), and they also feel delusionally entitled and like the world owes them for things they haven’t earned.

This kind of person will latch on to any capable person like a leech on their neck. They may appear to have a thin sense of confidence about themselves, but in reality, they have a deep not-enough wound and think that they’re worthless (which is the underlying fuel that drives them to feel entitled to things they haven’t earned).

You’ll never know when it’s coming, but at some point in the relationship, they turn a corner in their mind and they start to demand what they feel entitled to from you. It could be money, it could be power, status, prestige… whatever it is, they take you off the false pedestal and they try to squeeze you for all you’re worth.

When you sense a Scarce, Entitled User circling you (they can often be found trying to make you dizzy with flattery, or continually emphasizing how much they just want to help you and get in your good books through whatever means necessary), run in the other direction. Their nature will show itself eventually, so it’s better to get out as soon as you can before they really sink their teeth in.

What If You’re Already Tethered To One Of These Kinds Of People?

I too live in the real world, and there are instances where you cannot fully remove yourself from having interactions with one of these types of people. Perhaps you share children with one of them, or one of your coworkers (at your otherwise awesome job) is one.

In situations like these the main thing you can aim for is to both 1) do whatever you can to minimize total exposure to them, and 2) primarily interact with them while in their happy place (so that they are a better version of themselves and are that much more tolerable).

I hope that this article shed some light on these types of people, and/or gave you a sense of permission to distance yourself from them or remove them from your life entirely.

Above all, you are allowed to feel a deep sense of ease, peace, alignment, and nourishing connection across your life. You only have so much time, energy, and attention to give out… and you deserve to honor it.

Dedicated to your success,

Jordan

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
The Differences Between Boy And Man Psychology
Sep 3, 2013
Jordan Gray
The Differences Between Boy And Man Psychology
Do you ever have moments when you feel like a boy trapped in a man's body? We all do at some points in our interactions with others. You find yourself picking a fight over something insignificant. Or feeling jealous of another man's business success. Or becoming whiny when your partner says she's...
Continue Reading
How Experiencing Burnout Made Me A Better Partner
Apr 20, 2015
Jordan Gray
How Experiencing Burnout Made Me A Better Partner
A couple of years ago when I first started building my business, I was working unsustainably crazy hours. I wrote three books in two months, I was writing four new articles per week, and I was hopping around from city to city every few days and dealing with all of the logistics that came along with that. It...
Continue Reading
How To Take Ownership Of Your Love Life’s Success
Feb 23, 2015
Jordan Gray
How To Take Ownership Of Your Love Life’s Success
The majority of my private coaching clients are abnormally high functioning people. They’re self-employed and loving their work, they’re in good shape, and they have relatively conquerable issues in their love life. Over the past few years I’ve noticed a specific trend in the character traits of my...
Continue Reading
How To Ask Someone To Be Your Cuddle Buddy
Dec 13, 2015
Jordan Gray
How To Ask Someone To Be Your Cuddle Buddy
A first-of-it's-kind question landed in my inbox a few days ago... Here it is in its entirety (shared anonymously with permission from the sender): "I got out of a relationship a few months ago (okay, six months ago) and I've been doing pretty well. My life is going well, I like what I do, and...
Continue Reading
9 Things To Do When Life Gets Hard
Jan 25, 2024
Jordan Gray
9 Things To Do When Life Gets Hard
There will always be times in life that just suck. Nothing is going according to plan, everything is getting harder, and situations keep popping up that only make it more and more difficult for you to make significant progress on the ever-increasingly challenging mountain of things that are staring...
Continue Reading
Be Who You Needed When You Were Younger
May 14, 2017
Jordan Gray
Be Who You Needed When You Were Younger
You have suffered. You have lived through challenging times. You have experienced invalidation in your lifetime. You have been told that you were wrong, in some way. Or in many ways. You have lived through experiences that you wouldn’t wish on anyone. And yet, here you are. You have survived. You...
Continue Reading