Dec 10, 2018

Being A Healthy, Balanced Adult Is Sexy As Fuck

Self-destruction gets a lot of air time in mainstream media.

“Look at this nihilistic badass! He’s constantly shit faced, and smoking a cigarette while he looks off camera left at nothing in particular… because, don’t you know, nothing’s worth anything anyways.”

balanced adult, healthy adults are sexy
Nihilism gives you an excuse to destroy yourself rapidly.

Fuck this narrative.

Sure… the perpetually numbed out aging adolescent can be sexy if you’re still in a big party phase and you want to run away from your potential… but there’s something better that you can aspire to.

And before you assume that the opposite of the bad-boy is the boring as toast nice guy (wrong), know that there is an alternative.

Introducing…

The Healthy, Balanced Adult

You know what’s sexier than slowly killing yourself with drugs, alcohol, late nights, and junk food?

Having a regular sleep schedule.

Eating ample amounts of nutrient-dense foods.

Being accepting of, and comfortable with, all of your emotions.

Having your finances in order.

Ensuring ample rest, recovery, and vacation time to stay balanced, and sane.

Regularly connecting with your friends and being genuinely curious about their lives.

Scheduling play, rest, work hours, and yes, even sex.

In short, being a healthy, balanced adult comes down to being someone whose life is sorted out.

You can’t maintain much more than a string of unfulfilling one night stands or flash-in-the-pan co-dependent trysts when your life is in shambles.

But when you can afford your lifestyle, you consistently put effort into advancing yourself as a person, and you have energy to spare, you’re in a great position to do a solid relationship justice.

Not sure where to start? Start here.

1. Take responsibility for your life

Hey you. Pssst! Come here. 

A little closer…

Yeah, you.

I have a secret to tell you…

You ready?

Here it comes…

The world doesn’t owe you a fucking thing.

You can ask for things and sometimes the world will oblige your request… but what you get will largely come as a direct result of the effort that you put forth. And the more you blame external circumstances, the more you will stay stuck.

No one is coming to save you. Stop making excuses.

If you want your life to be better, be the one to make it better.

Stop blaming your stories. Stop blaming your childhood. Stop blaming anything. Take your life by the reins and move forwards.

2. Don’t load up your body with bullshit

Do you regularly dump caffeine, refined sugar, alcohol, or recreational drugs into your body? Well, stop.

Yes, addiction is real. But so is recovery.

The more you allow depressants and stimulants of any sort into your body, the less predictable energy you’ll have on a daily basis, and the more dependent your body will be and the weaker your mind will be.

All of these micro-decisions funnel back to the fundamental question, ‘How do you treat yourself, and are you willing to treat yourself better?

Standard rules apply. Drink lots of water, eat mainly vegetables, lean proteins, nuts and seeds, healthy fats and oils. Organic if/when you can. And minimal processed shit.

balanced adult
“Yeah baby, toss my salad!”

3. Sleep

There’s no two ways around this.

Some people can get by on less sleep than others, but they are anomalies.

Most people need somewhere between 7-9 hours of sleep every night, without fail. Miss a day or two and you’ll pay the price.

Stop borrowing from tomorrow. Make sleep a priority, and make it non-negotiable. 

4. Be able to pay for your lifestyle

It doesn’t matter how much money you make, it matters how resourceful you are and if you can pay for the life that you say you want. 

Want to pay $10,000/month in rent? Want to never have to cook ever again? Want to get a two hour massage every other day, year round? None of these are inherently an issue at all. Simply make enough money to cover these habits, get better at saving money, or re-prioritize funds from your other expenses to make this a reality.

Because the confronting truth is this: the expansion of your life is only ever limited by you. There is always a new level to get to (if you truly want to get there). 

5. Do work you actually care about

If you constantly bitch about your work, you’ll get some energy from people (in the form of pity, commiseration, or low-level bonding). 

But if you want an excess of energy that bleeds over into all of your relationships, for the better, then you better get into the regular habit of finding/prioritizing/engaging in work that lights your soul on fire.

6. Keep up your hobbies

A healthy, balanced adult doesn’t depend on their partner for all of their needs. Thus, filling up your tank with hobbies that you love is vital.

Always keep your finger on the pulse of what you love to do, and then consistently do those things.

Put it in your calendar, and make it happen.

Decide, once and for all, that your sense of joy in life is non-negotiable, and then do whatever it takes to make those hobbies a priority.

Whether you like knitting, going to the movies by yourself, enjoying long, hot baths, finger painting, playing tennis, or rocking out at hardcore shows… your hobbies don’t have to make sense to anyone but you.

TL;DR on being a healthy, balanced adult: get fully engaged in your life, stop complaining, become a better person, and take complete ownership of everything in your life. You will be better for it.

Dedicated to your success,

Jordan

Ps. If you enjoyed this article, you will also love checking out the following resources.

11 Ways To Be A More Attractive Man (or How To Fight Entropy 101)

– How To Develop Your Masculine Edge: 9 Steps To Becoming A Beast

CASH – my video program outlining everything you need to know in order to drastically improve your relationship with money (and learn to generate more money in the process)

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

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