Jun 10, 2013

How Not Showing Interest On The First Date Is Killing Your Love Life

Contrary to popular belief, ‘playing it cool’ severely limits your love life.

There are thousands of forums out there that perpetuate this thought – bitter men discussing how being ‘open, honest and nice’ doesn’t pay off.

But there is a big difference between showing interest in an attractive way and grovelling at someone’s feet in a needy way.

Here are four things you can do to show more interest in a balanced and attractive way.

1. Praise Her

On her core values, interests, and passions.  Make it known that you like that she likes things.  Men are often afraid to compliment because they sense a loss of ‘power’ when they show interest.  This is your ego talking and it doesn’t need to be acknowledged.  Get over yourself, and let her know that her honesty/intuition/laugh really does it for you.

2. Be Revealing

You know those things that you would generally rather avoid talking about on dates?  The things that if someone found out about you they just might turn and run the other way?

Robert Glover once said, “Humans are attracted to each other’s rough edges”.  The things that you expose about yourself that are the most authentic and sometimes scary, are often the things that endear people to you the most.  So rip those skeletons out of the closet and let one roam free on the first date.  Give it a shot.

showing interest, love, romance

3. Dive In To Conversational Depth

Common topics that people like to avoid early on in relationships?  Personal values, morals, and sex.

There is no reason to put off these vital topics.  As long as you are bringing them up in a calm, calibrated way, there’s nothing to worry about.  Besides, you’ll save yourself a lot of time by not dating people that aren’t a match for you in the first place.

4. Giving Her A Chance

Maybe she didn’t make the greatest first impression…  maybe she was nervous… maybe a couple of her answers weren’t 100% matching your “Ideal woman” list that you keep on your vision board…

But if you are too quick to hit the eject button on a new relationship you could be seriously missing out.  The greatest long term relationships don’t start with a dizzying high of emotions and happy brain chemicals.  Quite the opposite in fact.

It’s been proven that the healthiest, longest lasting relationships start (emotionally) as more of a slow burn process.

You meet her and you find her very intriguing.  Your heart doesn’t race like crazy the first time you lay your eyes on her (as this is more likely lust or the makings of a short-term infatuation).  You talk and it feels very natural and easy.  The more you talk and the more time you spend around each other the more sense it makes.  Things naturally progress along until you find yourself feeling certainty that she makes you a better person.

Compare that to the flash-in-the-pan nature of the short term infatuation/peak/resolution cycle… and you’re looking at very different processes.  Pay close attention to what you feel when meeting new partners, as you might actually be letting the best potential partners for you slip away because they don’t stop you in your tracks from the first chance encounter.

Bottom line…

Women are attracted to guys who can emote, show praise, and be themselves without fear.  Accomplish all of these things simultaneously by heeding whichever of the points most resonates with you.

Dedicated to your success,

Jordan

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