Jun 4, 2013

Why It's Easier Than Ever To Stand Out From The Crowd

We live in a society of instant gratification.

There is always an easy way out or shortcut to take advantage of.  Men are being encouraged to do the bare minimum to achieve result in their lives.  And this trend is negatively affecting modern masculinity.

The masculine in you thrives off of being challenged.  If you let yourself off the hook too many times, you not only become lazy, but your masculine sense of self dies a slow and anxiety-filled death.

Because the truth for evolved men is that it’s not about chasing the result… it’s about who you will become in the process.

One of my earliest mentors, Jim Rohn, has a quote that goes “Become a millionaire not for the money, but for what it will make of you to achieve it”.

This one sentence encapsulates everything that I believe about personal development.

Don’t live in the gym and work out just to be ripped… do it for the commitment and self-esteem that it will instill in you.  Follow your passions not for the accolades and respect it will give you… but the internal sense of fulfillment you will live with every day for having chosen your true path.  Don’t study attraction to get phone numbers and show off how busy your dating life is to your friends… study it so that you can become adept at understanding intimacy and emotionality to be a great partner for your future wife.

As more and more men are taking the easy way out, it takes less than ever for you to stand out from the crowd.  But that shouldn’t stop you from lapping the other guys in the race.  Because ultimately, you are the only person in your race.  Those other guys don’t matter.  And you want to become the best ‘you’ there ever was.

Three things you can do today to stand out from your so-called ‘competition’…

1. Take The Long Road

Whenever someone offers you a quick or easy way out, take this as an opportunity to look for the long road.  Ask yourself, “Is there a way that I could do this that I am avoiding that would actually help me grow as a man?”  And then take the long road instead.

2. Push Your Comfort Zone By Choice

Is there any area of your life that you feel has become stagnant and you haven’t challenged in a long time?  Your health, wealth, intimate relationships, social life, contribution to society… where could you be challenging yourself more?

I recently felt too attached to my roots and life of routine and so I left my hometown to travel multiple continents with half of a backpack of clothes.  I did this primarily to shock myself into growth, and secondarily because I enjoy travel.  Where do you feel like you’ve fallen into to much of a routine lately?

3. Throw Off Your Anchors

What is there in your life that you know is weighing you down?  Nothing will eat you alive faster than knowing that you want to do something and NOT doing it.  Without even busting out your journal you know what you need to be doing.

Anchors can also refer to people in your life that are constantly trying to stomp all over your dreams.  These people would rather attack others that are being courageous enough to follow their path than to face up to their own demons and commit to themselves.  Either limit time with these people or cut them from your life entirely.  Life is too damn short to hang out with people that drain you.

Your One-Person Race

Using short cuts to achieve quick results is poison to your sense of integrity.  By using them you are short changing your growth and only doing yourself a disservice.

Women are attracted to a man with purpose… passion… drive… and a sense of wanting to constantly better himself.  If you let yourself slide in your daily habits and core values, then she can rightfully assume that you probably won’t be a very fun partner to be with.

So if there’s something in your life right now that you are slugging through and it feels pretty horrible at times, lean into it.  It’s the struggle that makes you a better person.  Stop being lazy on things that are integral to you as a human being.  Studying attraction, wealth building, or fulfillment were never meant to be short term processes… just like anything worthwhile in life.

Dedicated to your success,

Jordan

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

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