Mar 10, 2021

Thank You For This

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you to the trees, and stars, and hot salty tears,

And my childhood guardians who let me hold on to their thighs so that I got my daily

touch.

Thank you to the women who held me through my pain.

To Libby and Linnea and Laura and Allison and Amy and all of the other names that don’t start with L’s or A’s.

 

Thank you watermelon red bite juice

for dribbling down my summer chin

 

Thank you dad

for reading us the same Christmas book every Christmas eve

your consistency infused my bones with love and safety and there is no greater gift I have ever received than your guidance and care.

 

Thank you body,

for somehow knowing how to turn ice cream into heartbeats and thoughts

and for having the intuitive sense to tell me when enough is enough.

Forcefully, when needed.

How my veins don’t burst when stretched is a miracle, as all of you is, every day.

 

Thank you Demetra

you golden hearted beauty

with eyes like winter ice piles and skin as soft and warm as a baby’s intent.

Your existence dances me open every day,

I can’t wait to raise children with you.

 

Thank you New York for teaching me

how badly I never want to live in New York.

 

Thank you food thank you music,

thank you every illicit drug I ever did that taught me what too much felt like.

Thank you to the resiliency of my young body that could somehow live off slushies and dollar-slice-pizza

how I somehow didn’t get melanoma after endless summers of skateboarding with friends for 12 hours a day is beyond me.

Suppose I photosynthesize.

 

Thank you Colin, for helping me learn young that I would never grow up to abuse my power over younger men

 

Thank you Queen Elizabeth Park and your scratched up surfaces

I will never assume that something is concrete before I touch it again

 

Thank you to the wisdom of my emotions that have

guided me

over and over

beyond my stubborn, society-and-strength-and-male-conditioned mind

and for the times that I have awoken in tears

deep guttural belly tears –

Imagine that – waking up sobbing because our bodies know better than our minds,

as they always will.

How could it be any other way?

 

And last but not least

thank you to you

Whether you are my mother, blood or surrogate,

A lover, past or present,

Someone who found me by searching the words ‘how to help out during my girlfriends period’ or ‘why shouldn’t I kill myself’ or ‘how to write a love letter that will make my partner cry’ or ‘ways to communicate with my wife better’…

what a beauty you are

thank you for your immense heart

thank you for your courage, for your desire to be a more loving more courageous more full you

Your existence is a love letter to the world, and I am so glad you are alive to read these words,

you absolute gift of a person

Blog

Related

See All
Why You Should Make Time For The Things That Matter
Apr 13, 2016
Jordan Gray
Why You Should Make Time For The Things That Matter
There's a funny quirk when it comes to human behaviour and motivation... Most people will do anything to solve a deeply painful experience that they feel in the present moment, but very little to prevent that same event from entering their life in the future. But it is exactly these...
Continue Reading
5 Of The People I Respect The Most In The World
Jan 15, 2017
Jordan Gray
5 Of The People I Respect The Most In The World
I have had a lot of mentors throughout my lifetime. Some of them I have done work with in real life, others I have only learned from at a distance (whether because of their limited availability, or because they are no longer alive). One of the greatest life hacks available to us is to surround ourselves...
Continue Reading
The 5 Best Things To Do When You're Hurting
Dec 3, 2015
Jordan Gray
The 5 Best Things To Do When You’re Hurting
We all hurt sometimes. Maybe you went through a painful breakup recently. Or you lost someone close to you. Or you're just in a funk lately and feel like busting out of it (even if only for a couple of hours). These are my five go-to activities whenever I want to feel better. They're simple, and...
Continue Reading
10 Daily Habits That Have Been Changing My Life Lately
Mar 4, 2018
Jordan Gray
10 Daily Habits That Have Been Changing My Life Lately
I go in and out of cycles of being overly interested in hacking and optimizing my life’s habits. I’ll have a couple of months where I’m really focused on optimizing my physical health (i.e. seeing a personal trainer every week, taking vacations, soaking up lots of time in nature, eating my weight in...
Continue Reading
Feeling Sad/Anxious/Grumpy? Read This
Aug 19, 2017
Jordan Gray
Feeling Sad/Anxious/Grumpy? Read This
Bad days happen. They are unavoidable. But sometimes our minds take our bad days and make them appear much worse than they actually are. Go through this series of questions, reminders, and action steps whenever you’re in the dumps and you want to get back to feeling grounded, connected, and conten...
Continue Reading
What Ancient Tribes Knew About Being A Man That You Don't
Jan 27, 2014
Jordan Gray
What Ancient Tribes Knew About Being A Man That You Don’t
For thousands of years of human existence in ancient cultures across the world, there have been rites of passage that made boys into men. During these rites of passage boys would overcome fear, anxiety, and death in order to shed their boy-like way of thinking and more fully mature on a mental and...
Continue Reading