Mar 10, 2021

Thank You For This

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you to the trees, and stars, and hot salty tears,

And my childhood guardians who let me hold on to their thighs so that I got my daily

touch.

Thank you to the women who held me through my pain.

To Libby and Linnea and Laura and Allison and Amy and all of the other names that don’t start with L’s or A’s.

 

Thank you watermelon red bite juice

for dribbling down my summer chin

 

Thank you dad

for reading us the same Christmas book every Christmas eve

your consistency infused my bones with love and safety and there is no greater gift I have ever received than your guidance and care.

 

Thank you body,

for somehow knowing how to turn ice cream into heartbeats and thoughts

and for having the intuitive sense to tell me when enough is enough.

Forcefully, when needed.

How my veins don’t burst when stretched is a miracle, as all of you is, every day.

 

Thank you Demetra

you golden hearted beauty

with eyes like winter ice piles and skin as soft and warm as a baby’s intent.

Your existence dances me open every day,

I can’t wait to raise children with you.

 

Thank you New York for teaching me

how badly I never want to live in New York.

 

Thank you food thank you music,

thank you every illicit drug I ever did that taught me what too much felt like.

Thank you to the resiliency of my young body that could somehow live off slushies and dollar-slice-pizza

how I somehow didn’t get melanoma after endless summers of skateboarding with friends for 12 hours a day is beyond me.

Suppose I photosynthesize.

 

Thank you Colin, for helping me learn young that I would never grow up to abuse my power over younger men

 

Thank you Queen Elizabeth Park and your scratched up surfaces

I will never assume that something is concrete before I touch it again

 

Thank you to the wisdom of my emotions that have

guided me

over and over

beyond my stubborn, society-and-strength-and-male-conditioned mind

and for the times that I have awoken in tears

deep guttural belly tears –

Imagine that – waking up sobbing because our bodies know better than our minds,

as they always will.

How could it be any other way?

 

And last but not least

thank you to you

Whether you are my mother, blood or surrogate,

A lover, past or present,

Someone who found me by searching the words ‘how to help out during my girlfriends period’ or ‘why shouldn’t I kill myself’ or ‘how to write a love letter that will make my partner cry’ or ‘ways to communicate with my wife better’…

what a beauty you are

thank you for your immense heart

thank you for your courage, for your desire to be a more loving more courageous more full you

Your existence is a love letter to the world, and I am so glad you are alive to read these words,

you absolute gift of a person

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