Oct 8, 2016

Vote With Love 1,000 Times Per Day

According to recent studies, you make approximately 35,000 decisions per day.

Throughout a 24 hour period, the thoughts run rampant in your head.

What do I feel like eating for breakfast today? How many times should I soap myself down in the shower? Which shoes should I wear? Should I leave him/her? Should I text my friend how grateful I feel for their presence in my life? Do I want to buy a pet? Do I know that person well enough to stop and chat with them or should I just keep walking? Should I change careers? Is this too much kale? Am I doing enough with my life? Am I a good enough parent/son/daughter/friend/partner? Should I engage in this argument?

The vast majority of all of the decisions that you make can either be guided by love or by fear.

Love would have you honour your creative impulses and do that project you’ve been wanting to do… while fear would have you stay safe, keep your head down, and keep doing the thing that pays your bills and simultaneously makes you miserable.

Love would have you slow down in the morning and write in your gratitude journal (and then send your gratitude to the specific people that you mention in your writing)… while fear would have you roll over in bed, immediately check your phone/social media to see everything that you’ve missed over the last seven hours, and reactively jump out of bed to get your day started, already feeling like you’re behind on life.

Love would have you trust that your significant other can be friends with their exes without you having to worry about it… while fear would assume that you can’t trust someone who your partner was once attracted to, and demand that they not go out for dinner with their ex, or else you’ll leave them.

Love would have you honestly tell someone, “I’m not in love with you, and I have to let you go in order to let you find your person,” while fear would have you grasp on to someone who wasn’t an aligned fit for you… for fear of being alone forever.

Love would have you reach out to that family member/acquaintance/friend/former co-worker that you held a grudge against and tell them how sorry you are that everything that transpired between the two of you, while fear would have you grip tightly on to your resentment and pride.

Your choice, day in and day out, is to vote with love.

You make 35,000 decisions per day… so aim to vote with love at least 1,000 times per day. That’s less than three percent of your actions per day. You can do that. Start there.

Be mindful of what your decisions are rooted in.

Are your intentions loving, or fearful? Are you guiding your life with love or fear? Are your relationships, career choices, and spending habits rooted in love or fear?

What rules your life?

Are you constantly worried about what the world is coming to? Who might become president? How screwed we all might be? Or are you concerned with the only variable that you can control… spreading as much love as possible through your daily decisions?

Simply put… are you bound by fear, or coming from a place of love as often as possible?

They’re your votes. Do what you will with them.

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
The Top 10 Best Articles Of 2016
Dec 26, 2016
Jordan Gray
The Top 10 Best Articles Of 2016
2016 was a massive year of growth for me. Many big wins and many big challenges. On the wins side... I helped more people this past year than I had cumulatively helped in my previous six years of coaching combined, I cultivated a deep sense of community for the first time in my adult life, I lived...
Continue Reading
Help Your Partner Work Through Past Sexual Abuse In 3 Steps
Jul 6, 2015
Jordan Gray
Help Your Partner Work Through Past Sexual Abuse In 3 Steps
Although this is the first time I’ve written about it publicly, the issue of sexual abuse is one that is very important to me. I have had multiple friends and lovers who have had sexual abuse in their past (either early childhood or later in life) and, with the average statistic saying that 1 in 3 women...
Continue Reading
4 Ways To Fully Receive Feminine Nourishment
Mar 29, 2021
Jordan Gray
4 Ways To Fully Receive Feminine Nourishment
Growing up, I experienced a lot of wounding with the feminine. Bullying, break ups, being emotionally decimated at my most vulnerable... At the age of 20, I felt like I'd had enough. I didn't want to be vulnerable with women anymore. I wanted to armour up. Shut them out. Punish them for how...
Continue Reading
The Best Type Of Partner For An Entrepreneur
Mar 11, 2014
Jordan Gray
The Best Type Of Partner For An Entrepreneur
Undoubtedly by this point in your life you have realized that many of society's rules don't apply to you. The structure of school didn't work for you… You didn't fit the mold of the corporate world… And your dating life has always been a bit of a unique one. You didn't blindly accept one...
Continue Reading
5 Powerful Romantic Gestures They Will Remember Forever
Jul 14, 2015
Jordan Gray
5 Powerful Romantic Gestures They Will Remember Forever
Ever wanted to do something truly special for your partner? Maybe you’ve been around the block and you feel like you’ve done all there is to do. Maybe you’re an all-around superb intimate partner in a lot of ways. Maybe… just maybe… on occasion you’ve even managed to make your significant other...
Continue Reading
Stop Hoping For An Easy Life
Jan 10, 2019
Jordan Gray
Stop Hoping For An Easy Life
Today, more than ever, people are psychologically soft. We have been raised in a time of unprecedented ease, comfort, and convenience. We are, on a daily basis, guarded from the painful realities of life. We avoid real-time romantic rejection by swiping left and right on the faces of strangers. We...
Continue Reading