Oct 8, 2016

Vote With Love 1,000 Times Per Day

According to recent studies, you make approximately 35,000 decisions per day.

Throughout a 24 hour period, the thoughts run rampant in your head.

What do I feel like eating for breakfast today? How many times should I soap myself down in the shower? Which shoes should I wear? Should I leave him/her? Should I text my friend how grateful I feel for their presence in my life? Do I want to buy a pet? Do I know that person well enough to stop and chat with them or should I just keep walking? Should I change careers? Is this too much kale? Am I doing enough with my life? Am I a good enough parent/son/daughter/friend/partner? Should I engage in this argument?

The vast majority of all of the decisions that you make can either be guided by love or by fear.

Love would have you honour your creative impulses and do that project you’ve been wanting to do… while fear would have you stay safe, keep your head down, and keep doing the thing that pays your bills and simultaneously makes you miserable.

Love would have you slow down in the morning and write in your gratitude journal (and then send your gratitude to the specific people that you mention in your writing)… while fear would have you roll over in bed, immediately check your phone/social media to see everything that you’ve missed over the last seven hours, and reactively jump out of bed to get your day started, already feeling like you’re behind on life.

Love would have you trust that your significant other can be friends with their exes without you having to worry about it… while fear would assume that you can’t trust someone who your partner was once attracted to, and demand that they not go out for dinner with their ex, or else you’ll leave them.

Love would have you honestly tell someone, “I’m not in love with you, and I have to let you go in order to let you find your person,” while fear would have you grasp on to someone who wasn’t an aligned fit for you… for fear of being alone forever.

Love would have you reach out to that family member/acquaintance/friend/former co-worker that you held a grudge against and tell them how sorry you are that everything that transpired between the two of you, while fear would have you grip tightly on to your resentment and pride.

Your choice, day in and day out, is to vote with love.

You make 35,000 decisions per day… so aim to vote with love at least 1,000 times per day. That’s less than three percent of your actions per day. You can do that. Start there.

Be mindful of what your decisions are rooted in.

Are your intentions loving, or fearful? Are you guiding your life with love or fear? Are your relationships, career choices, and spending habits rooted in love or fear?

What rules your life?

Are you constantly worried about what the world is coming to? Who might become president? How screwed we all might be? Or are you concerned with the only variable that you can control… spreading as much love as possible through your daily decisions?

Simply put… are you bound by fear, or coming from a place of love as often as possible?

They’re your votes. Do what you will with them.

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
How To Recharge Your Relationship From The Inside Out
Nov 4, 2015
Jordan Gray
How To Recharge Your Relationship From The Inside Out
Without intentional effort, relationships get stale. And while communication, date nights, romantic gestures, and great sex will definitely add a boost to your love life, sometimes what we really need to do is improve our relationship by improving our relationship with ourselves. In my opinion,...
Continue Reading
Do This One Thing To Make Any Relationship Thrive
Feb 21, 2016
Jordan Gray
Do This One Thing To Make Any Relationship Thrive
When you were born, you had a unique way about you. You spoke in a certain way. You admired others in a certain way. You picked up your food in a certain way. No matter how much your parents, friends, culture, society, and peers tried to shape you into something other than what you were, your unique...
Continue Reading
The 3 Best And Worst Things To Say To Someone With Depression
Oct 1, 2016
Jordan Gray
The 3 Best And Worst Things To Say To Someone With Depression
I was sitting in my men’s group last night when one of the men revealed that he had been suffering with depression and suicidal ideation for the past several weeks. Without prompting, half a dozen of the guys in the room started to rattle off some of the least productive things that you can say to someone...
Continue Reading
Be Who You Needed When You Were Younger
May 14, 2017
Jordan Gray
Be Who You Needed When You Were Younger
You have suffered. You have lived through challenging times. You have experienced invalidation in your lifetime. You have been told that you were wrong, in some way. Or in many ways. You have lived through experiences that you wouldn’t wish on anyone. And yet, here you are. You have survived. You...
Continue Reading
I’m Not Perfect - And No One Is
Mar 22, 2015
Jordan Gray
I’m Not Perfect – And No One Is
When people find out what I do for work, they tend to assume a few things about me. “You’re a relationship coach? So you must be like the perfect boyfriend then, right?” “What a fascinating job. So I guess you and your girlfriend never fight.” “You’re basically a therapist for intimate relationships…...
Continue Reading
4 Man-Melting Phrases That Make Him Fall In Love
Feb 17, 2024
Jordan Gray
4 Man-Melting Phrases That Make Him Fall In Love
Words are powerful. With a simple sentence we can bolster, boost, encourage, or strengthen someone…. And with a different choice of words we can shame, crush, undermine, destroy, or decimate.  After releasing my article 5 Types Of Compliments That Melt A Man’s Heart, a few women reached out to me...
Continue Reading