Oct 8, 2016

Vote With Love 1,000 Times Per Day

According to recent studies, you make approximately 35,000 decisions per day.

Throughout a 24 hour period, the thoughts run rampant in your head.

What do I feel like eating for breakfast today? How many times should I soap myself down in the shower? Which shoes should I wear? Should I leave him/her? Should I text my friend how grateful I feel for their presence in my life? Do I want to buy a pet? Do I know that person well enough to stop and chat with them or should I just keep walking? Should I change careers? Is this too much kale? Am I doing enough with my life? Am I a good enough parent/son/daughter/friend/partner? Should I engage in this argument?

The vast majority of all of the decisions that you make can either be guided by love or by fear.

Love would have you honour your creative impulses and do that project you’ve been wanting to do… while fear would have you stay safe, keep your head down, and keep doing the thing that pays your bills and simultaneously makes you miserable.

Love would have you slow down in the morning and write in your gratitude journal (and then send your gratitude to the specific people that you mention in your writing)… while fear would have you roll over in bed, immediately check your phone/social media to see everything that you’ve missed over the last seven hours, and reactively jump out of bed to get your day started, already feeling like you’re behind on life.

Love would have you trust that your significant other can be friends with their exes without you having to worry about it… while fear would assume that you can’t trust someone who your partner was once attracted to, and demand that they not go out for dinner with their ex, or else you’ll leave them.

Love would have you honestly tell someone, “I’m not in love with you, and I have to let you go in order to let you find your person,” while fear would have you grasp on to someone who wasn’t an aligned fit for you… for fear of being alone forever.

Love would have you reach out to that family member/acquaintance/friend/former co-worker that you held a grudge against and tell them how sorry you are that everything that transpired between the two of you, while fear would have you grip tightly on to your resentment and pride.

Your choice, day in and day out, is to vote with love.

You make 35,000 decisions per day… so aim to vote with love at least 1,000 times per day. That’s less than three percent of your actions per day. You can do that. Start there.

Be mindful of what your decisions are rooted in.

Are your intentions loving, or fearful? Are you guiding your life with love or fear? Are your relationships, career choices, and spending habits rooted in love or fear?

What rules your life?

Are you constantly worried about what the world is coming to? Who might become president? How screwed we all might be? Or are you concerned with the only variable that you can control… spreading as much love as possible through your daily decisions?

Simply put… are you bound by fear, or coming from a place of love as often as possible?

They’re your votes. Do what you will with them.

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
The Shadow Doesn’t Want To Be Seen
Jun 13, 2018
Jordan Gray
The Shadow Doesn’t Want To Be Seen
*All identifying information has been significantly altered to protect anonymity* - In my last ten years of working with coaching clients 1-on-1, I’ve been fortunate enough to see a lot of amazing things take place. I have helped people go from anxious, shy, and single, to marrying the...
Continue Reading
6 Connection Exercises For Couples To Build Intimacy
Nov 18, 2014
Jordan Gray
6 Connection Exercises For Couples To Build Intimacy
Over the past few years I’ve compiled a collection of connection exercises that have helped couples from all walks of life increase their intimacy and sense of connectedness. The couples that tend to flock towards coaching with me are not people who are on the brink of divorce but people who are already...
Continue Reading
31 Ways To Spread More Love Into The World
Nov 23, 2015
Jordan Gray
31 Ways To Spread More Love Into The World
"Ultimately, spirituality and self-development have the same end goal... be unapologetically loving toward yourself and others, as often as you can manage it." - Jordan Gray - Nobody is perfectly loving all of the time. But that doesn't mean that we shouldn't aim to be. We never know whether...
Continue Reading
If You Don’t Want To Be A Loser, Stop Entertaining Loser Thoughts
Jan 12, 2019
Jordan Gray
If You Don’t Want To Be A Loser, Stop Entertaining Loser Thoughts
Have you ever worried about being (or becoming) a loser? One of my email subscribers recently sent me this question: “I am currently in a downward spiral of becoming a full-fledged loser… I eat terribly, I'm not making my sleep a priority when I know I should, I’m not making any progress on my...
Continue Reading
The 3 Biggest Things That Hold People Back From Actually Growing
Nov 5, 2017
Jordan Gray
The 3 Biggest Things That Hold People Back From Actually Growing
Everyone wants to grow. Everyone wants to improve. Everyone wants to have a better life. But desire alone only takes us so far along our path. It's common in our growth trajectories to have common roadblocks come up that hold us back from obtaining the next layer of healing, or level of expansion. In...
Continue Reading
3 Exercises That Will Take Your Relationship To The Next Level
Nov 25, 2019
Jordan Gray
3 Exercises That Will Take Your Relationship To The Next Level
Hey! I wanted to quickly share three relationship tools that have been bringing a lot of value to my life this past year. Whether you are in a marriage of several decades, or you are currently single and want to put some additional tools in your toolkit for the next time you find an aligned significant...
Continue Reading