Oct 8, 2016

Vote With Love 1,000 Times Per Day

According to recent studies, you make approximately 35,000 decisions per day.

Throughout a 24 hour period, the thoughts run rampant in your head.

What do I feel like eating for breakfast today? How many times should I soap myself down in the shower? Which shoes should I wear? Should I leave him/her? Should I text my friend how grateful I feel for their presence in my life? Do I want to buy a pet? Do I know that person well enough to stop and chat with them or should I just keep walking? Should I change careers? Is this too much kale? Am I doing enough with my life? Am I a good enough parent/son/daughter/friend/partner? Should I engage in this argument?

The vast majority of all of the decisions that you make can either be guided by love or by fear.

Love would have you honour your creative impulses and do that project you’ve been wanting to do… while fear would have you stay safe, keep your head down, and keep doing the thing that pays your bills and simultaneously makes you miserable.

Love would have you slow down in the morning and write in your gratitude journal (and then send your gratitude to the specific people that you mention in your writing)… while fear would have you roll over in bed, immediately check your phone/social media to see everything that you’ve missed over the last seven hours, and reactively jump out of bed to get your day started, already feeling like you’re behind on life.

Love would have you trust that your significant other can be friends with their exes without you having to worry about it… while fear would assume that you can’t trust someone who your partner was once attracted to, and demand that they not go out for dinner with their ex, or else you’ll leave them.

Love would have you honestly tell someone, “I’m not in love with you, and I have to let you go in order to let you find your person,” while fear would have you grasp on to someone who wasn’t an aligned fit for you… for fear of being alone forever.

Love would have you reach out to that family member/acquaintance/friend/former co-worker that you held a grudge against and tell them how sorry you are that everything that transpired between the two of you, while fear would have you grip tightly on to your resentment and pride.

Your choice, day in and day out, is to vote with love.

You make 35,000 decisions per day… so aim to vote with love at least 1,000 times per day. That’s less than three percent of your actions per day. You can do that. Start there.

Be mindful of what your decisions are rooted in.

Are your intentions loving, or fearful? Are you guiding your life with love or fear? Are your relationships, career choices, and spending habits rooted in love or fear?

What rules your life?

Are you constantly worried about what the world is coming to? Who might become president? How screwed we all might be? Or are you concerned with the only variable that you can control… spreading as much love as possible through your daily decisions?

Simply put… are you bound by fear, or coming from a place of love as often as possible?

They’re your votes. Do what you will with them.

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
8 Things Men And Women Hate Hearing From Their Partner
Mar 21, 2016
Jordan Gray
8 Things Men And Women Hate Hearing From Their Partner
Where are men and women most vulnerable? What specific things do their partners say to them that bother them the most? When and how do they feel the most criticized? You asked me… I asked them… and they answered. These poll-style articles have become a consistent hit that my readers seem to love, so...
Continue Reading
The Intentional Life Ep.7: The Ultimate Nutritional Supplements
Jul 2, 2017
Jordan Gray
The Intentional Life Ep.7: The Ultimate Nutritional Supplements
This week on the Intentional Life, I interview my good friend Mike Muscari. If you follow me closely, you might recognize Mike from various things I've posted over the last year. Mike is a wave surfing, biohacking, dog-owning serial entrepreneur with a heart of gold. He also lives his life with...
Continue Reading
Your Life Is A Garden
Mar 5, 2016
Jordan Gray
Your Life Is A Garden
Your life is a garden. And it needs constant attention. Your garden needs water, sunlight, effort, and love in order to truly thrive. If you treat your soil well then nutritious foods and beautiful flowers will be able to spring forth, or... you can treat your soil badly and it’ll feel like nothing...
Continue Reading
Why You Should Have A Morning Routine
Apr 12, 2016
Jordan Gray
Why You Should Have A Morning Routine
Do you have a morning routine? Some of the most successful, productive, grounded, and happy people I've ever had the pleasure of meeting have morning routines that they regularly turn to in order to start their days off on the right foot. The biggest difference I have noticed my morning routine make...
Continue Reading
'Why Am I Still Single?' 5 Reasons + What To Do About It
Jul 19, 2023
Jordan Gray
‘Why Am I Still Single?’ 5 Reasons + What To Do About It
One of the most common questions that I get from people sounds something like… “I’ve been single for so long even though I deeply want a relationship. What gives?” Over the last 15+ years of working with thousands of clients, I’ve noticed some patterns. Here are five reasons that people stay single...
Continue Reading
How To Love Your Highly Sensitive Partner
Mar 15, 2015
Jordan Gray
How To Love Your Highly Sensitive Partner
I recently received a message from one of my readers that sparked my interest. - “My wife is (what she labels as) a “highly sensitive person” or HSP. Quite often, things that I don’t see as a huge deal can make her go running for shelter for hours on end. I love her to bits and I just want to understand...
Continue Reading