Oct 8, 2016

Vote With Love 1,000 Times Per Day

According to recent studies, you make approximately 35,000 decisions per day.

Throughout a 24 hour period, the thoughts run rampant in your head.

What do I feel like eating for breakfast today? How many times should I soap myself down in the shower? Which shoes should I wear? Should I leave him/her? Should I text my friend how grateful I feel for their presence in my life? Do I want to buy a pet? Do I know that person well enough to stop and chat with them or should I just keep walking? Should I change careers? Is this too much kale? Am I doing enough with my life? Am I a good enough parent/son/daughter/friend/partner? Should I engage in this argument?

The vast majority of all of the decisions that you make can either be guided by love or by fear.

Love would have you honour your creative impulses and do that project you’ve been wanting to do… while fear would have you stay safe, keep your head down, and keep doing the thing that pays your bills and simultaneously makes you miserable.

Love would have you slow down in the morning and write in your gratitude journal (and then send your gratitude to the specific people that you mention in your writing)… while fear would have you roll over in bed, immediately check your phone/social media to see everything that you’ve missed over the last seven hours, and reactively jump out of bed to get your day started, already feeling like you’re behind on life.

Love would have you trust that your significant other can be friends with their exes without you having to worry about it… while fear would assume that you can’t trust someone who your partner was once attracted to, and demand that they not go out for dinner with their ex, or else you’ll leave them.

Love would have you honestly tell someone, “I’m not in love with you, and I have to let you go in order to let you find your person,” while fear would have you grasp on to someone who wasn’t an aligned fit for you… for fear of being alone forever.

Love would have you reach out to that family member/acquaintance/friend/former co-worker that you held a grudge against and tell them how sorry you are that everything that transpired between the two of you, while fear would have you grip tightly on to your resentment and pride.

Your choice, day in and day out, is to vote with love.

You make 35,000 decisions per day… so aim to vote with love at least 1,000 times per day. That’s less than three percent of your actions per day. You can do that. Start there.

Be mindful of what your decisions are rooted in.

Are your intentions loving, or fearful? Are you guiding your life with love or fear? Are your relationships, career choices, and spending habits rooted in love or fear?

What rules your life?

Are you constantly worried about what the world is coming to? Who might become president? How screwed we all might be? Or are you concerned with the only variable that you can control… spreading as much love as possible through your daily decisions?

Simply put… are you bound by fear, or coming from a place of love as often as possible?

They’re your votes. Do what you will with them.

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
You Are Going To Die (So Here's How To Actually Live)
Dec 22, 2017
Jordan Gray
You Are Going To Die (So Here’s How To Actually Live)
I had my first heart attack at the age of 25. I was walking down the street, my arms went numb, my head started spinning, and my heart was pounding faster than it ever had in my life. I walked up to an off-duty ambulance paramedic and said, “I think I’m having a heart attack. I’m definitely...
Continue Reading
3 Ways To Reparent Your Inner Child
May 12, 2020
Jordan Gray
3 Ways To Reparent Your Inner Child
It is an unequivocal fact that your childhood shaped who you are today. And no matter how self-aware, loving, and supportive your parents were, it’s also a fact that they passed on their unprocessed emotions and unexamined habits on to you. So, as you’ve grown from being a child to being an adult,...
Continue Reading
A 23 Point Love Contract To Bulletproof Your Relationship
May 3, 2015
Jordan Gray
A 23 Point Love Contract To Bulletproof Your Relationship
Want to strengthen your relationship? Print out the following words and sign it with your partner. - Dear (THE NAME OF YOUR PARTNER), I promise to be gentle with you and your heart. I promise to allow you to have access to my heart. I promise to tell you the full truth even when it’s sometimes scary...
Continue Reading
12 Romantic Proposal Ideas For You To Steal
Apr 1, 2021
Jordan Gray
12 Romantic Proposal Ideas For You To Steal
So you’re ready to get down on one knee and tie the knot with the love of your life… Before we get to talking about ways to do it, let me grab my trumpet and set off some confetti cannons… Because that is amazing! (*Cue explosions and marching band*) The fact that you’re at a place in your relationship...
Continue Reading
The 4 Most Valuable Things My Therapists Ever Told Me
Sep 1, 2020
Jordan Gray
The 4 Most Valuable Things My Therapists Ever Told Me
Every single person on the planet would benefit from seeing a therapist at multiple points throughout their lives. Whether it's for navigating a significant transition (like leaving high school, entering the work force, first experience with death, getting married, becoming a parent, first major breakup...
Continue Reading
How To Prioritize Being Over Doing
Apr 12, 2016
Jordan Gray
How To Prioritize Being Over Doing
For the past three years I have been pushing the metaphorical boulder up the hill. I’ve created a business that more than takes care of my needs, while reaching over a million readers per month with my writing. For this fact, I feel supremely grateful. Nothing touches my heart more than knowing that...
Continue Reading