Oct 8, 2016

Vote With Love 1,000 Times Per Day

According to recent studies, you make approximately 35,000 decisions per day.

Throughout a 24 hour period, the thoughts run rampant in your head.

What do I feel like eating for breakfast today? How many times should I soap myself down in the shower? Which shoes should I wear? Should I leave him/her? Should I text my friend how grateful I feel for their presence in my life? Do I want to buy a pet? Do I know that person well enough to stop and chat with them or should I just keep walking? Should I change careers? Is this too much kale? Am I doing enough with my life? Am I a good enough parent/son/daughter/friend/partner? Should I engage in this argument?

The vast majority of all of the decisions that you make can either be guided by love or by fear.

Love would have you honour your creative impulses and do that project you’ve been wanting to do… while fear would have you stay safe, keep your head down, and keep doing the thing that pays your bills and simultaneously makes you miserable.

Love would have you slow down in the morning and write in your gratitude journal (and then send your gratitude to the specific people that you mention in your writing)… while fear would have you roll over in bed, immediately check your phone/social media to see everything that you’ve missed over the last seven hours, and reactively jump out of bed to get your day started, already feeling like you’re behind on life.

Love would have you trust that your significant other can be friends with their exes without you having to worry about it… while fear would assume that you can’t trust someone who your partner was once attracted to, and demand that they not go out for dinner with their ex, or else you’ll leave them.

Love would have you honestly tell someone, “I’m not in love with you, and I have to let you go in order to let you find your person,” while fear would have you grasp on to someone who wasn’t an aligned fit for you… for fear of being alone forever.

Love would have you reach out to that family member/acquaintance/friend/former co-worker that you held a grudge against and tell them how sorry you are that everything that transpired between the two of you, while fear would have you grip tightly on to your resentment and pride.

Your choice, day in and day out, is to vote with love.

You make 35,000 decisions per day… so aim to vote with love at least 1,000 times per day. That’s less than three percent of your actions per day. You can do that. Start there.

Be mindful of what your decisions are rooted in.

Are your intentions loving, or fearful? Are you guiding your life with love or fear? Are your relationships, career choices, and spending habits rooted in love or fear?

What rules your life?

Are you constantly worried about what the world is coming to? Who might become president? How screwed we all might be? Or are you concerned with the only variable that you can control… spreading as much love as possible through your daily decisions?

Simply put… are you bound by fear, or coming from a place of love as often as possible?

They’re your votes. Do what you will with them.

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
How To Take Ownership Of Your Love Life’s Success
Feb 23, 2015
Jordan Gray
How To Take Ownership Of Your Love Life’s Success
The majority of my private coaching clients are abnormally high functioning people. They’re self-employed and loving their work, they’re in good shape, and they have relatively conquerable issues in their love life. Over the past few years I’ve noticed a specific trend in the character traits of my...
Continue Reading
Why Spiritual Awakening Is So Painful
Jan 7, 2024
Jordan Gray
Why Spiritual Awakening Is So Painful
In order to travel from a state of numbness to a state of joy and dynamic aliveness, you must first feel your way through all of the pain that you buried within. When I truly started to engage in my deeper inner work, I cried daily for a period of 8 months. There were days (maybe weeks?) where I felt...
Continue Reading
A 23 Point Love Contract To Bulletproof Your Relationship
May 3, 2015
Jordan Gray
A 23 Point Love Contract To Bulletproof Your Relationship
Want to strengthen your relationship? Print out the following words and sign it with your partner. - Dear (THE NAME OF YOUR PARTNER), I promise to be gentle with you and your heart. I promise to allow you to have access to my heart. I promise to tell you the full truth even when it’s sometimes scary...
Continue Reading
Life Is Short/Life Is Long
Nov 4, 2018
Jordan Gray
Life Is Short/Life Is Long
Life is short. And life is long. Both statements are true. I’ll prove it. Life Is Short You get about 27,000 days, give or take a few thousand, on average. That’s about 4,000 weeks. Just over 70 years. Sure, maybe we’ll make some kick...
Continue Reading
The Surest Way To Become A Better Person
Oct 6, 2017
Jordan Gray
The Surest Way To Become A Better Person
Want to become a bigger, better person in the world? Take on more responsibility. As human beings, we all crave a deep sense of meaning. And our sense of meaning often comes down to the amount of responsibility we have taken on in our lives. So if you want to grow as a person, find...
Continue Reading
If You Don’t Want To Be A Loser, Stop Entertaining Loser Thoughts
Jan 12, 2019
Jordan Gray
If You Don’t Want To Be A Loser, Stop Entertaining Loser Thoughts
Have you ever worried about being (or becoming) a loser? One of my email subscribers recently sent me this question: “I am currently in a downward spiral of becoming a full-fledged loser… I eat terribly, I'm not making my sleep a priority when I know I should, I’m not making any progress on my...
Continue Reading