Oct 8, 2016

Vote With Love 1,000 Times Per Day

According to recent studies, you make approximately 35,000 decisions per day.

Throughout a 24 hour period, the thoughts run rampant in your head.

What do I feel like eating for breakfast today? How many times should I soap myself down in the shower? Which shoes should I wear? Should I leave him/her? Should I text my friend how grateful I feel for their presence in my life? Do I want to buy a pet? Do I know that person well enough to stop and chat with them or should I just keep walking? Should I change careers? Is this too much kale? Am I doing enough with my life? Am I a good enough parent/son/daughter/friend/partner? Should I engage in this argument?

The vast majority of all of the decisions that you make can either be guided by love or by fear.

Love would have you honour your creative impulses and do that project you’ve been wanting to do… while fear would have you stay safe, keep your head down, and keep doing the thing that pays your bills and simultaneously makes you miserable.

Love would have you slow down in the morning and write in your gratitude journal (and then send your gratitude to the specific people that you mention in your writing)… while fear would have you roll over in bed, immediately check your phone/social media to see everything that you’ve missed over the last seven hours, and reactively jump out of bed to get your day started, already feeling like you’re behind on life.

Love would have you trust that your significant other can be friends with their exes without you having to worry about it… while fear would assume that you can’t trust someone who your partner was once attracted to, and demand that they not go out for dinner with their ex, or else you’ll leave them.

Love would have you honestly tell someone, “I’m not in love with you, and I have to let you go in order to let you find your person,” while fear would have you grasp on to someone who wasn’t an aligned fit for you… for fear of being alone forever.

Love would have you reach out to that family member/acquaintance/friend/former co-worker that you held a grudge against and tell them how sorry you are that everything that transpired between the two of you, while fear would have you grip tightly on to your resentment and pride.

Your choice, day in and day out, is to vote with love.

You make 35,000 decisions per day… so aim to vote with love at least 1,000 times per day. That’s less than three percent of your actions per day. You can do that. Start there.

Be mindful of what your decisions are rooted in.

Are your intentions loving, or fearful? Are you guiding your life with love or fear? Are your relationships, career choices, and spending habits rooted in love or fear?

What rules your life?

Are you constantly worried about what the world is coming to? Who might become president? How screwed we all might be? Or are you concerned with the only variable that you can control… spreading as much love as possible through your daily decisions?

Simply put… are you bound by fear, or coming from a place of love as often as possible?

They’re your votes. Do what you will with them.

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
Be Who You Needed When You Were Younger
May 14, 2017
Jordan Gray
Be Who You Needed When You Were Younger
You have suffered. You have lived through challenging times. You have experienced invalidation in your lifetime. You have been told that you were wrong, in some way. Or in many ways. You have lived through experiences that you wouldn’t wish on anyone. And yet, here you are. You have survived. You...
Continue Reading
Cold Feet Or Wrong Person?: 5 Ways To Know
Aug 31, 2024
Jordan Gray
Cold Feet Or Wrong Person?: 5 Ways To Know
Have you been lying awake at night, thinking to yourself... 'Hmm... cold feet or wrong person?' Fortunately, there is a huge difference between having normal, healthy, appropriate nerves or a sense of hesitancy around the person you're engaged to, versus there being legitimate red flags that should...
Continue Reading
How To Date Someone Even If You Are Married
Jan 15, 2014
Jordan Gray
How To Date Someone Even If You Are Married
The courting phase of your relationship shouldn't end just because you tied the knot. If you actively date your partner (the one that you are already with, of course), you will appreciate them that much more and your relationship will thrive. You know that investing in your relationship is important,...
Continue Reading
Givers and Takers: How To Make Sure Your Relationship Lasts
May 10, 2015
Jordan Gray
Givers and Takers: How To Make Sure Your Relationship Lasts
I have worked with countless couples over the past several years on helping them have the most intensely satisfying intimate relationships possible. And through my time as a relationship coach I have noticed a major trend. There are two primary types of couples that come to me… Couples that are struggling...
Continue Reading
The Real Reason You're Disconnected From Your Body
Aug 5, 2017
Jordan Gray
The Real Reason You’re Disconnected From Your Body
Whether you numb yourself with work, alcohol, sex, drugs, constant social stimulation, sleeping 12+ hours a day, or anything else you use... Whether you're afraid to meditate, go to bed at night and be alone with your racing thoughts, sit still and breathe for a few minutes, or you're constantly busying...
Continue Reading
Ladies, Stop Expecting The Worst Of Men
Feb 19, 2015
Jordan Gray
Ladies, Stop Expecting The Worst Of Men
This article goes out to all of my (hetero) female readers… On average, I get about ten messages per week from my female readers around the world along the lines of “Where have all of the good men gone? Where are the guys who will open the door for you? Why do men only want to hook up and not have a...
Continue Reading