Oct 8, 2016

Vote With Love 1,000 Times Per Day

According to recent studies, you make approximately 35,000 decisions per day.

Throughout a 24 hour period, the thoughts run rampant in your head.

What do I feel like eating for breakfast today? How many times should I soap myself down in the shower? Which shoes should I wear? Should I leave him/her? Should I text my friend how grateful I feel for their presence in my life? Do I want to buy a pet? Do I know that person well enough to stop and chat with them or should I just keep walking? Should I change careers? Is this too much kale? Am I doing enough with my life? Am I a good enough parent/son/daughter/friend/partner? Should I engage in this argument?

The vast majority of all of the decisions that you make can either be guided by love or by fear.

Love would have you honour your creative impulses and do that project you’ve been wanting to do… while fear would have you stay safe, keep your head down, and keep doing the thing that pays your bills and simultaneously makes you miserable.

Love would have you slow down in the morning and write in your gratitude journal (and then send your gratitude to the specific people that you mention in your writing)… while fear would have you roll over in bed, immediately check your phone/social media to see everything that you’ve missed over the last seven hours, and reactively jump out of bed to get your day started, already feeling like you’re behind on life.

Love would have you trust that your significant other can be friends with their exes without you having to worry about it… while fear would assume that you can’t trust someone who your partner was once attracted to, and demand that they not go out for dinner with their ex, or else you’ll leave them.

Love would have you honestly tell someone, “I’m not in love with you, and I have to let you go in order to let you find your person,” while fear would have you grasp on to someone who wasn’t an aligned fit for you… for fear of being alone forever.

Love would have you reach out to that family member/acquaintance/friend/former co-worker that you held a grudge against and tell them how sorry you are that everything that transpired between the two of you, while fear would have you grip tightly on to your resentment and pride.

Your choice, day in and day out, is to vote with love.

You make 35,000 decisions per day… so aim to vote with love at least 1,000 times per day. That’s less than three percent of your actions per day. You can do that. Start there.

Be mindful of what your decisions are rooted in.

Are your intentions loving, or fearful? Are you guiding your life with love or fear? Are your relationships, career choices, and spending habits rooted in love or fear?

What rules your life?

Are you constantly worried about what the world is coming to? Who might become president? How screwed we all might be? Or are you concerned with the only variable that you can control… spreading as much love as possible through your daily decisions?

Simply put… are you bound by fear, or coming from a place of love as often as possible?

They’re your votes. Do what you will with them.

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
6 Simple Steps To Ruin A Relationship
Feb 25, 2014
Jordan Gray
6 Simple Steps To Ruin A Relationship
You've seen them… Walking down the street hand in hand… gazing lovingly at each other… ridiculously large smiles plastered across their face... That's right… I'm talking about happy couples. How revolting. Make sure you never become like those people by following these six simple steps to...
Continue Reading
How To Develop Courage
Sep 18, 2016
Jordan Gray
How To Develop Courage
"Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy." – Dale Carnegie - On February 7th, 2013, I was booked to hop on a plane headed to Southeast Asia. At this point...
Continue Reading
Is The World Really Ready For Emotional Men?
Nov 12, 2014
Jordan Gray
Is The World Really Ready For Emotional Men?
I was having a conversation with a close friend recently when he posed the question to me… “Is the world really ready for emotional men?” There are so many factors playing into this question (and answer), but I will gladly venture in and lay open this topic. First of all, yes, I do believe...
Continue Reading
5 Mistakes I Made On The Path To Finding My Wife
Jul 15, 2025
Jordan Gray
5 Mistakes I Made On The Path To Finding My Wife
Before meeting my wife, I spent years getting in my own way. I made a handful of mistakes that likely cost me years of connection, intimacy, and peace of mind. I remember sitting across from a friend one night, telling him that maybe I just wasn’t cut out for lasting love. I was frustrated,...
Continue Reading
The Best Type Of Partner For An Entrepreneur
Mar 11, 2014
Jordan Gray
The Best Type Of Partner For An Entrepreneur
Undoubtedly by this point in your life you have realized that many of society's rules don't apply to you. The structure of school didn't work for you… You didn't fit the mold of the corporate world… And your dating life has always been a bit of a unique one. You didn't blindly accept one...
Continue Reading
An Open Love Letter To Women's Bodies
Jan 29, 2014
Jordan Gray
An Open Love Letter To Women’s Bodies
Losing my virginity took less than a minute. I was so mesmerized by the beauty, openness, and curves of my girlfriend that I felt overwhelmed. Every curve of her body begging to have my hands on them. Every patch of skin that I touched softer than the last. Her eyes staring into my soul with...
Continue Reading