Mar 15, 2015

We Are Wild, And We Are Tender

We are more wild, and more tender than we allow ourselves be in bed.

Regardless of our gender, the range of our sexuality has been repressed, limited, and shamed into a corner since we were young.

We are simultaneously tantalized and chastised.

We are taught to suppress sexual desire… hide our bodies… and don’t even think about discussing sex in a public space.

This mass sexual shaming bleeds into our intimate relationships. We are afraid to ask for what we want. We are afraid to really let our orgasm break us open. We are afraid to go deep with our loved ones.

But the truth is we are all more wild, and more tender than we allow ourselves to be in bed.

“If I really showed them how turned on I was…

If I really told them what was on my mind…

If I really asked them for what I wanted…

It would scare them away.”

And that is the heart of shame speaking.

If I show myself, I will be abandoned.

But you will only scare away the wrong ones.

The partner who is meant for you will cherish you and all of your gifts.

They will love the ferocity just as much as they love your softness.

So be wild. And be tender.

It will break you open, heal your old wounds, and bring you and your partner closer than you ever thought imaginable.

It’s time to be seen.

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
Becoming Multi-Orgasmic: Non-Ejaculatory Orgasms For Men
Jul 10, 2017
Jordan Gray
Becoming Multi-Orgasmic: Non-Ejaculatory Orgasms For Men
Did you know that men can have multiple non-ejaculatory orgasms? Well, it's true. Like women, men can actually have more than one orgasm, as well as choose whether or not they want to ejaculate. It's kind of like a surfer learning to ride the lip of the wave without falling over either side of it....
Continue Reading
Jordan’s Love List (Books, Music, Food, Sex Toys, & More)
Dec 3, 2015
Jordan Gray
Jordan’s Love List (Books, Music, Food, Sex Toys, & More)
I frequently get asked for recommendations about some fairly random things. And there's never been any neat, simple place to publicize those responses to people. So this year I’m starting a new tradition. Once per year, I’m going to release my new list of favourites. Favourite what, you ask? Favourite...
Continue Reading
9 Steps To Submissive Blowjobs He’ll Crave
Jan 27, 2025
Jordan Gray
9 Steps To Submissive Blowjobs He’ll Crave
Some blowjobs are good. Others are unforgettable. And often, the difference isn’t technique... it’s the energy that you bring to it. When you lean into a more submissive dynamic, you create a level of intensity that can turn even the simplest act into something...
Continue Reading
How To Ejaculate Without Losing Energy
Jul 21, 2021
Jordan Gray
How To Ejaculate Without Losing Energy
My partner and I (she’s a woman, I’m a man) regularly have several-minute-long full-body orgasms that leave us feeling energized afterward. How is this possible… when most people have 2-second genital sneezes that leave them feeling depleted and tired? Upon reading that, some of you might be thinking: “Okay,...
Continue Reading
How To Give A Sexy Massage (7 Steps)
Aug 4, 2024
Jordan Gray
How To Give A Sexy Massage (7 Steps)
Want to give your lover a grounding, sensual, connection-inducing sexy massage? You've come to the right place. Few things instil a greater sense of love, connection, and relaxation into a relationship than making massage a regular habit. By reading this, you'll be head and shoulders above the...
Continue Reading
10 Sexiest Tit Fuck Positions To Blow His Mind
Jan 26, 2025
Jordan Gray
10 Sexiest Tit Fuck Positions To Blow His Mind
Titty fucking, tit job, breast sex, cleavage coitus, pillow fluffing, booby banging, the mammary mambo... Whatever you call it, it's a super fun sexual act! In this guide, we'll be diving into all things titty fucking related, and then you'll see the 10 hottest titty fucking positions in the world. Whether...
Continue Reading