Want to give your lover a grounding, sensual, connection-inducing sexy massage? You’ve come to the right place.
Few things instil a greater sense of love, connection, and relaxation into a relationship than making massage a regular habit.
By reading this, you’ll be head and shoulders above the rest when it comes to providing an amazing experience.
The Master Intention Of Giving A Sexy Massage
When some people decide they want to give their partner a massage, they begin with the wrong intention.
You might think that a mere ‘intention’ isn’t felt, but I would argue that it is the #1 thing that is felt.
The reason behind why you do anything in life (not just a sexy massage) will imbue it with an energy that is felt by others.
For example, if you decide you want to give your lover a massage to be seen as a good partner… or to make up for something you did… or to get them in the mood for sex, any and all of those intentions will taint the massage and make it less than it could have been.
So if intention matter, what’s the master intention of an amazing sexy massage?
The master intention is not to impress them… it isn’t to work out every spot of tension in their entire body… and it isn’t to make them cum 8,000 times.
No, the overarching intention of a good sexy massage is to simply…
Be loving.
It is to connect. It is to pamper them.
Ultimately, it is to be of service to your lover.
When you feel truly grounded in this intention, it is next to impossible to mess it up.
By leading with an intention of being of service to your lover, your ego is taken out of it completely.
This might seem ephemeral… esoteric… super-woo. But it matters.
Just show up with the underlying intention of being loving, and being of service to your partner, and you’re already well on your way to giving them the best massage of their lives.
Onwards.
How To Begin Your Sexy Massage
So now that we’ve locked in our intention for the massage, how should we begin?
A phenomenal sexy massage begins with a well set-up environment.
For most couples, this will either look like a bedroom/bed, or, if you have one, a massage table in your home.
Ideally, you have the ability to control the temperature of the room you’re in. Set it to something at or slightly above room temperature, so that your partner can be as comfortable as possible.
Next, consider the fabrics. What materials will be directly touching your partner’s body? Consider: bedsheets, top sheets, blankets, pillows.
Then, lighting. Consider the lighting levels, the lighting color temperature, and the sources of light. Your partner may want some candles to be lit. For others, a number of salt lamps would be best. For others still, colored LED lights. It’s entirely up to the two of you as to what works best for the mood you’re going for.
For smell, feel into if you want curated scents in the air. You could have an essential oil diffuser expelling their favorite scent, or lit incense filling the air.
After that, think about whether or not you will want to be using any kind of massage oil. Some people (both massage-giver and massage-receiver) prefer massages with oil, and others prefer it without. There are pros and cons to each, but personal preferences will ultimately win out. What makes each of you (especially the massage-receiver) feel the most loved, pampered, and cared for? You can use coconut oil, almond oil, sunflower oil. The options (and combinations) are endless.
Finally, music! If your partner wants some kind of gentle, soothing music to be playing in the background, ensure you have that playing.
When it comes down to it, you’re aiming to nourish all of your partner’s senses. Touch, sound, sight, smell, and of course, taste! For taste, you could offer your partner a piece of dark chocolate to melt in their mouth as you begin the massage. How decadent!
The Two Types Of Sexy Massage
There are two primary ways that you can gift your partner a sexy massage.
1) You can focus on a couple of key areas (where they hold the majority of their bodily tension) with most of your time and attention, or…
2) You can give a light, whole body massage…
And then (in either case) transition into the sexier part.
If you have some massage skills, the first one is probably your best bet. If you’re less confident in your hands’ massaging skills, then it’s likely better to stick to the second strategy.
And in either instance, you want to focus, with the first 50-90% of the massage, on purely relaxation.
It can feel jarring to go to touch their erogenous zones too early. So make sure you take your time in getting anywhere near them.
For the majority of the massage, you just want to focus on helping them relax and drop into their body.
You can spend time rubbing their shoulders and upper back. Their lower back, their calves, their feet, their forearms, their hands.
Key point: take… your… time.
It is so rare that people get to feel truly pampered and doted on in this way. So don’t rush it.
Transitioning From Sensual Massage To Sexy Massage
After you’ve taken ample time to love them up thoroughly, it is time to start going from general, relaxation massage, towards a more sexy massage.
The key here is to allow it to be slowly mixed in, as opposed to pivoted into on a dime.
Have you ever done any kind of baking? If so, you’ll likely have had an experience where you had to slowly mix the wet ingredients into the dry ingredients. Well, moving from a sensual massage to a sexy massage is just like that.
You can’t just go from rubbing their shoulders to manhandling their breasts or genitals. The black-and-white, flip-of-the-switch would feel overwhelming and unpleasant.
It’s a far better strategy to slowly incorporate the more sexual touch, bit by bit.
So, as one example, you could be rubbing your lover’s back and then slowly start going back and forth between rubbing their lower back and massaging their upper glutes (butt) area.
Or if they were lying on their back, you could go from massaging their feet, shins/calves, and thighs/quads, and then slowly start massaging their inner thighs and upper thighs more (getting progressively closer to their genitals, without necessarily touching them or even brushing against them directly just yet).
The key is you want to do this transition slowly, and you want to keep going back and forth between their more sexual, erogenous zones, and their non-erogenous (or, more accurately, less erogenous) body parts.
Again, just like mixing the dry and the wet ingredients in baking, you want to slowly commingle the two, instead of jumping from one directly into the other.
For many people, this back and forth will-they-won’t-they is more than half of the fun. The art of the tease cannot be overstated!
Things To Keep In Mind
A few general notes to keep in mind to make your sexual massage as pleasurable as possible.
– Keep one hand on the person at all times. Losing contact and then touching again suddenly can be distracting.
– Switch up the styles with which you touch them. You can rub, knead, kiss, tease, and caress them ever so gently, in alternating moments.
– Use your words. If you’re ever unsure if your pressure is too much or if they need anything different, you can just ask them. Keep it simple. Ask them things like, ‘Is that pressure okay?’ or ‘Does that feel nice?’ You’re not looking to be reassured from a place of insecurity, but rather, just making sure that you’re being of service to them in a way that registers as loving to them.
– If you decide to use any massage oil, make sure you heat it up in the palm of your hands before you apply it to them. Now, I know I said to always keep one hand on them at all times, so how would you warm it up with your palms? Well, if you have a dish (or bottle) of oil within arms reach, you can rest the back of one of your hands on your lovers body while the other hand reaches for the supply, and you can let the becoming-warmer oil drip out from your hand as it heats up. This way your partner gets warmed oil, and you don’t have to break contact.
– I repeat, do not rush getting to the erogenous zone. If you do this right, their entire body becomes an erogenous zone because they’ll feel so open and relaxed. Save the genitals/breasts/butt until the later part of the massage. Take your time getting there. There is no rush. The longer you take to arrive at a more overtly sexual body part, the better.
– Finally, when you do get to the erogenous zones, touch them gently at first. A penis/vulva/butt/breast cannot take the same pressure that a tight upper back can right off the bat. The lighter the touch you start with in the more erogenous zones, the more room you have to play with as you slowly build up the sexual tension and pleasure.
Beyond The Sexy Massage
Congratulations on becoming a more skilled, and aware lover! Your partner is lucky to have you.
If you want to dive even deeper into becoming an expert-level sexual partner, I’d highly recommend checking out some of the bonus resources below.
Dedicated to your success,
Jordan
Ps. If you enjoyed this article on how to give a sexy massage, you’ll also love checking out the following resources:
– Eternal Glow (video course for women, that helps you have the best sex of your life, guaranteed)
– Queen of Blowjobs (video course for women, that supports you in giving him the best blowjob ever)
– Bring Him To God: Advanced Handjob Mastery For Women
– How to Give A Life-Changing Pussy Massage (Yoni Massage)
– How To Give A Life-Changing Penis Massage (aka Lingham Massage)
