Oct 2, 2016

3 Major Benefits Of Porn That No One Talks About

“Porn is ruining intimacy.”

“Porn actors are all being forced into modern day sex slavery.”

“Porn is permanently damaging and messes with your brain’s arousal response.”

Do a quick online search for research about pornography and you’ll find that the vast majority of articles are about it’s damaging, unhealthy properties and potential negative side effects.

And while I agree that everything in life has the potential to be damaging or unhealthy when used compulsively (including exercise, healthy eating, and processing your emotions), I don’t subscribe to the concept that anything is ever so black and white.

Porn gets a lot of flack… some of it deserved, some of it undeserved.

I view porn like I view most recreational drugs… it can expand your mind when used consciously, or it can ruin parts of your life if you overindulge in it and use it mindlessly. I would argue that the same thing could be said about consuming sugar, the evening news, or celebrity gossip.

Does porn set unrealistic expectations around sex? Sure, but so do the vast majority of TV, movies, and marketing that we’re exposed to on a daily basis.

Do people have the capacity to engage in pornography use as a compulsive behaviour that they use to numb out, and even become mildly addicted to? Sure. But, again, the same could be said for consuming sugar, Facebook, or watching Netflix.

Does porn set unrealistic expectations about body image or sexual performance? Yes, but again… what doesn’t? Go outside, see any advertisement… voila. Unrealistic expectations abound.

Despite the volumes of research that speak about the ills of abundant porn consumption, I believe that porn has a very healthy (and sometimes necessary) place in our lives.

Here are the three biggest benefits of porn that no one talks about.

1. Sexual self-exploration

It’s difficult to know what you’re interested in sexually if you’ve never been exposed to anything outside of the heterosexual/missionary position/sex-with-the-lights-off messaging that is frequently pushed in Western society.

If you’re never exposed to something outside of what you have been told is appropriate, you will have a much harder time coming to terms with or normalizing those parts of your sexual self/your fantasies.

Nothing about sexuality is black and white. There are just as many sets of sexual preferences as there are people in the world. We all come with our unique sexual wiring, and that’s something to be celebrated and explored (not buried and dismissed).

I personally know many people who would not have known that they were gay, bisexual, or ‘kinky‘ had it not been for the pornography that they were able to expose themselves to.

This isn’t to say that they wouldn’t have eventually discovered their sexual orientation via other forms of sexual self-reflection… but if dipping their toe into other forms of pornography helped them save years of their lives of not knowing who they were at their sexual core, then why not expedite the process?

2. Masturbating is good for your relationship

All of the best lovers masturbate.

One of the best ways to take personal responsibility for your sexual satisfaction is to regularly engage in self-stimulation so that your body stays well-loved independently of your partner’s actions.

You’ll know your individual likes and dislikes more, you’ll be less dependent on your partner’s sexual affection, and (regardless of your gender) you’ll likely have greater control over when/if/how frequently you reach climax because you’ll already be intimately connected to your sexual arousal arch. For men, this most often means that you’ll have greater control over when you climax, and for women, this will mean that you’ll be more adept at reaching orgasm more quickly and/or frequently.

And while I wouldn’t recommend masturbating exclusively to pornography (because it’s an arousal stimulus outside of yourself and could quickly make you feel dependent on being aroused exclusively by something outside of your body versus being aroused by your own physical touch on it’s own), it’s certainly a great tool to use.

3. Occasionally viewing porn with your partner is good for your relationship

Occasionally viewing porn with your significant other has a host of benefits.

– It ensures that you’re on the same page sexually (since you’ll both want to enjoy whatever the porn is that you’re watching together).

– It can be a good way of introducing new ideas/kinks/sexual fantasies into your bedroom repertoire. By showing your partner a clip of something that you like, you may be educating them in one of your many interests that they may have not known about otherwise.

– It’s funny. A lot of porn is just straight up ridiculous. And since laughter is a natural aphrodisiac, it can be an entertaining way to lighten the mood before you start getting down with your sexy selves.

Again, I’m not saying you should become dependent on it and NEED porn to be on in the room before you start making love (you should still find your partner attractive enough to not need the external sexual boost)… but viewing other people getting it on together can be a nice treat once in a while if you’ve found some smut that fits neatly into you and your partner’s sexual overlap.

Porn Isn’t The Devil

If you’ve enjoyed this post and want to read more related subjects, I’d recommend checking out the following:

5 Sex Toys That Every Couple Should Own (Seriously)

Kill Stress, Boost Testosterone, And Have Better Sex

3 Insanely Powerful Sex Exercises For Men

How To Last Longer In Bed (9 Simple Exercises)

How To Fall In Love With Masturbation

Porn Is Ruining Your Sex Life

Dedicated to your success,

Jordan

Blog

Related

See All
The Intentional Life Ep.5: Boosting Testosterone With Ben Greenfield
Jun 20, 2016
Jordan Gray
The Intentional Life Ep.5: Boosting Testosterone With Ben Greenfield
Do you want to safely and naturally boost your testosterone, live longer, have better sex, and become superhuman? Well, you're in luck. Today's episode of The Intentional Life is truly something special... My guest today is Ben Greenfield. Ben is someone I've been following for a while now and...
Continue Reading
The 3 Biggest Reasons Men Love Blowjobs
Feb 1, 2016
Jordan Gray
The 3 Biggest Reasons Men Love Blowjobs
Ever wondered exactly why men love blowjobs? Besides the baseline explanation of 'they feel good'? Sometimes I get an idea for an article and I think to myself, "Oh I want to write about this... but I bet this topic has already been written about really well somewhere on the internet." Then I Google...
Continue Reading
7 Exercises To Increase Your Sexual Stamina
Nov 20, 2013
Jordan Gray
7 Exercises To Increase Your Sexual Stamina
Every man wants to be a better lover. For many men, the thought of being unable to provide a lasting and deeply fulfilling sexual experience for his partner is something that causes stress and anxiety. You want to give the kind of sexual performance that has you hoping she’ll brag about it to her friends...
Continue Reading
The 3 Most Important Things You Can Do To Have A Better Sex Life
Feb 18, 2021
Jordan Gray
The 3 Most Important Things You Can Do To Have A Better Sex Life
If there's one thing I receive more emails about on a weekly basis than anything else, it's sex. How do I get more sex from my partner? How do I have better sex? How can I last longer? How do I get my partner to initiate more? As a society, our relationship to sex is primarily through the ego. The...
Continue Reading
7 Ways Your Amazon Gift Cards Can Improve Your Love Life
Jan 14, 2017
Jordan Gray
7 Ways Your Amazon Gift Cards Can Improve Your Love Life
I received this letter from one of my coaching clients a few days ago, and I wanted to share my super-dense response with you here... "Hi Jordan. I was gifted several Amazon gift cards for Christmas and, being new to the Amazon/online-shopping-ecosphere, I was curious as to what you would...
Continue Reading
5 Ways To Sexually Reconnect With Your Partner
Jul 20, 2015
Jordan Gray
5 Ways To Sexually Reconnect With Your Partner
Whether you’ve been dating for a few months or a few decades, it’s totally normal and healthy for sexual desire to ebb and flow throughout the course of a relationship… But if the lull has been too long for you and/or your partner, you might want some help in sexually reconnecting again. Life gets...
Continue Reading