I’ve written about sex exercises for men in the past, but not like I’m about to today.
A lot of men have nerves/anxiety around their sexual performance because they aren’t sure if they’ll be able to have the level of control over their bodies that they hope for. Which makes it so vital to remember the fact that ‘Action conquers fear.’ If you fear something, gain new skills so that you eradicate the possibility of that thing from happening again.
Am I saying that you’ll get an instant, rock-hard erection and make your partner orgasm fourteen times every time you have sex from now on? Of course not. Nothing happens 100% of the time. But if done correctly, the following three exercises will give you a hell of a lot of additional confidence in your bedroom abilities.
Integrate the following three sex exercises for men into your weekly routine and I guarantee that you will have more consistent, reliable, and strong erections, you’ll have more control over your orgasms, and you’ll show up for your partner emotionally/energetically in the way that she needs you to.
Without further ado, here are three powerful sex exercises for men (one for lasting power, one for penis strength, and one for mental and emotional presence).
1. Box breathing
This is an exercise I have never written about before in any of my posts.
When men are nervous about their sexual performance, they tend to tense up their bodies and their breathing becomes more shallow. When your body physiologically goes into this state, your body starts to unconsciously go into a mild fight or flight arousal state. It’s like a signal to your body that their is some impending danger and so you should ejaculate as quickly as possible to get it over with. To re-cap, if you want to ejaculate quickly, tense up your body and make your breathing quick and shallow.
If you are one of the millions of men who wants to last longer, you need to be doing the opposite. Enter… box breathing!
Box breathing (sometimes referred to as 4 square breathing) is a mind and body hack that allows you to calm yourself down in an instant (whether you’re an anxious flyer, about to give a major presentation, or want to last longer in bed).
The technique is simple… breathe in for a slow count of four seconds, suspend (aka hold in a non-clenched way) your breath for four seconds, release your breath for a slow count of four seconds, and then suspend your breath for four seconds again. That’s it. Four, four, four, four. Nice and easy!
If you try it out right now you can even feel your heart rate slowing down as you’re doing it. Pretty magical isn’t it?
So try out this technique (don’t give it 100% of your attention, but be mindful of it) during foreplay and during your sexual play and see what it does to your sexual abilities. It might just be the highest leverage thing you can do to experience more pleasure, be more emotionally present with your partner, and have more powerful orgasms.
2. Kegels and Power Kegels
I’ve written about these in the past here, and here, but they’re always worth a reminder. In fact, feel free to do a couple of pulses and holds while you’re reading this section. Or if you’ve been reading my stuff for months/years, then feel free to skip this section and go straight to exercise #3 (which is a doozie).
The majority of our below the belt sexual power comes from our PC muscle (aka pubococcygeus). If you want to start building up a six pack in your pants and you’re new to my site, you’ll want to check out this article on sexually strengthening exercises, and this one on how to strengthen your penis for better sex.
Long story short, the PC muscle is the hammock like muscle that strings itself from your tail bone to your pubic bone… and it’s the thing that you can feel when you clench the muscle that stops the flow of urine from coming of your penis mid-pee.
Start your first few weeks of training by doing 2-3 days per week of doing 10 rounds of 2 second holds, followed by 20 quick pulses… and doing three sets of both of those, with days off in between to rest and rebuild the muscle tissue.
Then, after a couple weeks of this re-sensitization training, you can start to masturbate to arousal and drape (there’s three stages of resistance training to this) dry hand towels, then wet hand towels, and then small dry beach towels over your erection and doing weighted power kegels (pulses and holds).
3. The ‘Own The Room’ Technique
This one will seem slightly woo-woo for you less spiritually inclined folk, but stick with me here. This one is some seriously next-level Yoda stuff.
A big part of presence is that you are in the moment… you are in your body… you are able to make eye contact and really see your partner because you’re not in your head and fantasizing about things/people/sexual scenarios that aren’t in the room. And while there’s nothing inherently wrong with going into your head to fantasize occasionally (it’s totally normal and healthy and can even be a good thing as it shows that you are comfortable enough with your partner to let your mind roam), if your default way of being during sex is to be ‘out of the room’ in a fantasy land then your partner undoubtedly feels it. And she probably doesn’t like it.
So if your partner wants you to be more present, what can you do to be more present?
Introducing… the ‘Own the room’ technique.
You can practice this starting right now, and then you can begin to incorporate it into your sex life with your partner.
Here’s how it works (and please, try this right now if you are able to)…
I want you to, in a moment, close your eyes and take full responsibility for yourself. Take responsibility for the rate of your breath, for what your heart rate is doing, for how healthy you feel, for how you’re currently positioned. Take responsibility for every cell in your body. You might want to say something like “I have you”, or “I take responsibility for every part of my being”… whatever sounds right for you.
Okay, ready? do that now. Close your eyes, take a few moments, and do what I’ve just described. I’ll still be here when you get back.
Cool, huh? You’ve just begun the first major step in your process towards the ‘Owning the room’ technique.
Okay, now we start ramping it up to the next level.
If there is someone else in the room with you (either within a few feet of you, or far away but still visible) do the same exercise but take responsibility for yourself and for them. Take responsibility for their experience of life in this moment, and feel responsible for their safety, comfort, and security. Absorb them into your circle of responsibly. Ready? Do this now.
Okay, now on to the third step.
Now that you’ve experienced what it feels like to take responsibility of yourself, and yourself plus another, it’s time to incorporate the entire room into your sphere of responsibility.
Close your eyes, and breathe into the experience of being responsible for the entire room around you. Regardless of whether there are hundreds of people around you or zero… fully own the room and take responsibility for it.
That’s it. That’s the ‘Own the room’ technique.
And while you might have felt your heart rate slow, or your thoughts deepen, or some immediate result in your body or mind today, I guarantee you that if you bring that energy to your feminine partner in bed, she will (as if by some stroke of magic) feel safer, more comfortable, and more aroused with you.
Like I said, when you execute this technique effectively, it can open your partner like nothing else. There is something deeply attractive about a present, grounded masculine partner… and she knows it.
Just like you can brush up on new date ideas, connection exercises, and communication skills for your relationship’s health, you can also invest your time into sexually strengthening exercises and your ability to communicate about sex with your partner.
If you enjoyed this article, you’ll also likely love my Supercharge Your Sex Life video course. I frequently update it with my new and best ideas on owning and integrating your internal sexual beast into your love life.
Dedicated to your success,
Ps. If you enjoyed this article, you’ll also love reading…