Apr 19, 2020

Video Chat Sex: 10 Ways To Make It Infinitely Hotter

Whether you’re looking to spice things up in a long distance relationship, or you’re in the middle of a global pandemic that is having everyone stay indoors more than they ever have, video chat sex is a valuable skill to master.

There’s simultaneously something romantic, and edgy about engaging in video chat sex with your partner.

Whether you do it on Zoom, Skype, FaceTime, or another platform, video chat sex is romantic because just the act of showing up for it shows that you and your partner both value your relationship enough to still show up for each other’s sexual needs when you’re physically apart. And yet it also combines the naughty element of doing something with a sense of novelty and heightened risk, which kicks the hotness into overdrive.

Without further ado, here are ten things you can do to set the stage for the hottest video chat sex of your life.

Video Chat Sex: 10 Ways To Make It Infinitely Hotter

attractive woman camming

1. Make sure you’re doing it with someone you trust

Just like sex in general, you want to make sure that you’re engaging in video chat sex with someone who you deeply trust.

Not only because you’re venturing into sexual territory and sex is inherently vulnerable, but because you are engaging in a method that could get you into trouble if you did it with the wrong person.

Video chat sex, on the risk scale, is somewhere between normal sex and shooting your own homemade porn, because there is a chance that the person you’re engaging in it with could take screen grabs/keep a video recording of it without your awareness. This is why it’s absolutely imperative that you’re engaging in video chat sex with someone that you already know and trust.

So, as a rule, if there’s a part of you that feels even a little bit uncertain as to whether or not your partner would record your interaction without your awareness, then you shouldn’t go there with them. And you should find a sexual partner that you feel deeply safe with, in all contexts.

2. Talk about what you both want from it ahead of time

Again, like sex, you can just show up and wing it and it will likely be fine. But it’s even hotter if you and your partner are actually able to communicate your needs, desires, and fantasies ahead of time.

This way you aren’t just fumbling in the dark and hoping that your partner is enjoying themselves… you’re delivering each other’s ultimate fantasy and meeting each other’s sexual needs to the best of your ability.

There’s something very loving, and very hot, about attempting to give your partner exactly what they want sexually (while they do the same for you).

Not only that, but talking about what each of you would like to do ahead of time allows you to build anticipation for the act before it happens.

3. Sext with them in the lead up

sexting, sex while quarantining

As the date approaches, make sure you keep the sexual simmer alive by sexting about it (either leading up to the call, or between your calls – if it becomes a regular habit for the two of you).

Not sure what you should be saying? Try any of the following:

– “I’m getting nothing done at work today. Can’t stop thinking about tonight…”

– “I’ve soaked through three pairs of panties today just thinking about you…”

– “I have a surprise for you tonight…” (could be lingerie, a new sex toy, etc.)

– “I want to make you feel so good tonight babe…”

– “Guess what I’m doing riiiiight now?” *once they reply, follow up with sexy masturbation photo*

And for a deep dive guide on sexting, check out my article The Ultimate Sexting Guide: 100+ Sexy Texts To Turn Them On Like Crazy.

4. Put effort into your appearance beforehand

Just as you would get ready for a date with your partner, put some energy into getting ready for your video chat sex date. A little bit of effort goes a long way.

This point is for men and women alike.

Ladies, put on something that you feel sexy in. Put on some make up, if that’s your thing. Wear perfume (yes, even knowing that they will not be able to smell it… put on a spritz of a scent that you adore).

Gentlemen, spend some time on your grooming. Trim your pubes. Shave off your stubble/neckbeard. Put on something that you feel sexy in.

Let your partner know that you are taking your sex date seriously by going the extra mile and putting some energy into your appearance.

5. Prepare your environment

Another way to show your partner love during your video chat sex session is to give your immediate environment as much love and attention as you did your personal appearance.

Having a messy room around you can be distracting for some people. So spend a few minutes picking up your dirty laundry, tidying your bed (or wherever you’re going to be placing yourself), and getting your lighting setup right.

Not only is it kind for your partner to remove the visual clutter in your camera’s frame, but it will also allow you to drop into the experience that much more deeply when you don’t feel like you’re surrounded by chores that your thinking mind feels like it needs to do.

6. Remove all distractions

Remove and/or minimize any and all distractions that could push their way into your awareness during your call. Just like you would put your phone into airplane mode if you were out at a restaurant with your partner for a date in order to give them your full attention.

Turn off your cell phone’s ringer. If you’re on an Apple computer, turn off your iMessage notifications. If you’re in a bedroom with a lock on it, lock the door.

Again, any and all distractions that could get on your radar during your sex session, remove them all to the best of your ability.

7. Get yourself into an erotic headspace ahead of time

foreplay, video chat sex

Let’s call a spade a spade. Video chat sex sessions aren’t as nourishing as real life, in-the-flesh sex. Staring at a screen puts you a bit more in your head and a bit less into your body.

So to counteract the physical detachment of interacting with your partner through a screen, it’s necessary that you put extra energy into being deeply connected to your body ahead of time.

You could take a bath in the hours leading up to your video chat sex session. Read some of your favourite erotica. Do some push-ups. Put on some of your favourite music and engage in some sensual dancing. Spend a few minutes self-pleasuring before the call even starts.

Whatever it is that connects you to your body, do it before you hop on your call. Believe me, you’ll both notice the difference.

8. Use dirty talk

While the visual component in video chat sex is super sexy in its own right, you can also really go the extra mile in working on each other’s minds by engaging in dirty talk.

You always want to calibrate what you’re saying to the moment, but here are a few examples of what you could say during your call:

– I’m getting so turned on/wet/hard

– Tell me what you want me to do with myself

– Mmm… do you like that?

– I love when you talk to me like that

– You are so sexy

– Ughhh… I love your body so much

– I’m dripping wet for you

– I love how you look at me when you’re turned on

– I love the sounds you make

– Oh god, I’m gonna cum…

– I want you to cum for me

For a deep dive guide on how to engage in dirty talk, check out my article Dirty Talk: The Ultimate Guide For Beginners (100+ Examples).

9. Don’t be afraid to get up close and personal

video chat sex, camming

One of the greatest elements of engaging in video chat sex is that you get to really play up the visual component of it.

If you know that your partner has a favourite part of your body, don’t be afraid to get the camera super close to whatever they are most turned on by.

You might be worried that they’re analyzing you… seeing that ingrown hair… judging your extra pounds you’ve put on recently… but believe me, if they love you, they don’t care about those things at all and they are not judging the details that you are aware of. They’re just happy to see you in all of your beautiful, pleasure-enjoying, fully self-expressed glory.

10. Have an orgasm

If you feel motivated to do so, finishing off your video chat sex session with an orgasm (or multiple orgasms) for each of you is always fun.

Again, this isn’t the time to be shy. Make yourself cum as hard as you can, using whatever methods you have. Have your lube… your oil… your favourite sex toys already on hand, and just go to town.

In the example of a heterosexual couple, you’ll generally want the woman to climax first, followed by the man. That way, the man can still bring his fullest attention, and most polarized energy to the moment as she reaches her climax.

Video Chat Sex, Summarized

So that’s it!

Discuss ahead of time what it is you’d both ideally like to have happen. Prepare your environment, and yourself, for the session as you would any date with your lover. Show up fully and give each other what you both want. Finish with a bang!

Whether this is your first time launching into a video based sex call, or you’re already a seasoned pro just looking for a bit of a bump in your skillset, I wish you the absolute best of luck in your pixel-based sexual endeavours. And above all else, have fun with it!

Dedicated to your success,


Ps. If you enjoyed this article, you will also love checking out:

The Ultimate Sexting Guide: 100+ Sexy Texts To Turn Them On Like Crazy

Dirty Talk: The Ultimate Guide For Beginners (100+ Examples)

5 Questions To Ask Your Partner For Better Sex

Inside The Male Mind (video series for women)

Supercharge Your Sex Life (video series for men)



See All
Suicidal To Successful To Self-Loving: The First 33 Years Of My Life
May 25, 2020
Jordan Gray
Suicidal To Successful To Self-Loving: The First 33 Years Of My Life
The following is a summary of the first 33 years of my life. Kind of like a thus-far-autobiography. It should be noted that I am an unreliable narrator... as all narrators are. Because my perspectives are only my own. I'm sure some facts are muddied by my highly fallible human memory, especially...
Continue Reading
7 Things Men Can Learn From Fifty Shades Of Grey
Oct 7, 2014
Jordan Gray
7 Things Men Can Learn From Fifty Shades Of Grey
Ever heard of Fifty Shades Of Grey? It recently became the best-selling sex book of all time. While I’m somewhat glad that the book exists because it puts certain elements of kink/BDSM into mainstream culture and has started a more global conversation about these lifestyles (in a terribly misrepresentative...
Continue Reading
5 Ways Men Can Develop Their Emotional Presence In Bed
Jun 28, 2015
Jordan Gray
5 Ways Men Can Develop Their Emotional Presence In Bed
While sexual technique is certainly a part of every amazing lovers skill set, it’s mayyyyybe worth 10-20% of the entire package. Because the truth is… when it comes to being an amazing lover, your presence, passion, and desire for your lover will trump that twirly tongue thing you can do ten times out...
Continue Reading
7 Powerful Ways For Men To Revive A Dead Bedroom
Oct 12, 2020
Jordan Gray
7 Powerful Ways For Men To Revive A Dead Bedroom
In a long-term relationship and your sex life has taken a nosedive? You're not alone. Nobody gets proper training in how to sustain connection and sexual desire in a long-term relationship or marriage, so why would we know how to keep the erotic home fires burning after the initial spark wears off? The...
Continue Reading
How To Talk About Sex (4 Steps To Better Sexual Intimacy)
Sep 22, 2015
Jordan Gray
How To Talk About Sex (4 Steps To Better Sexual Intimacy)
For something so naked, raw, and vulnerable, sex is something that is primed for us to feel overly stripped down about. We feel exposed. We feel like people can really see us. We feel like whatever egoic smoke and mirrors we create throughout the day (via clothing, make up, achievement, etc.), it’s...
Continue Reading
50 Powerful Sex Tips For Men
Jan 20, 2018
Jordan Gray
50 Powerful Sex Tips For Men
Looking for cutting edge sex tips for men? I've released hundreds of articles of sex advice through the years... and if you're new to my site it can seem a bit overwhelming to sort through. So today, I decided to do a best-of-the-best collection of my fifty sex tips for men. My female readers...
Continue Reading