Ever wanted to film you and your partner having sex? Does it seem a little overwhelming and intimidating? Not sure where to start?
Shooting and editing steamy home videos with your partner can be incredibly exhilarating and wickedly fun.
But before we dive into the ins-and-outs of becoming your own X-rated auteur, I want to emphasize something crucial:
Safety and consent.
Only do this with someone you trust fully and that you easily communicate with. It will ensure the process is as fun and comfortable as possible. Two situations where we can feel the most awkward and insecure are (1) being naked or (2) being in front of a camera lens. Now put the two together and things are, for a lot of people, likely to get even more confronting.
Also, all parties involved must have full awareness of the creative process and filming. Talk about the logistics so that you both feel completely safe with each other.
Why are you doing this? What would you love to see? What will happen with the end product? Who gets to view it, or receive a copy of it?
Talking through all these points will allow you to be present and totally relaxed in the moment with your co-star(s).
Filming homemade porn with your partner is kind of like going to a sex party with your partner… talking through all of the logistics, fears, and concerns comes first… and then the fun comes after!
Step 1: Organization
Treat this like a real film project. Take time to plan and storyboard. It will not only build excitement, but also bring cohesion to the end-product. It will also bring clarity on what gear will work best to execute your vision.
Do some of your own research online. Have each of you pick a few porn clips to showcase what style and feel appeals to you most. Don’t get caught up in trying to recreate the aesthetic of real professional quality content. This is simply for general direction, ideas of angles/concepts, and energy.
What’s the vibe? Soft and sensual? Rough and passionate? What about the look? Bright and over-exposed, or dim and intimate?
What about the venue? In the kitchen? The car? The bedroom? Your home office? Poolside (if you have private access)? A mix of settings?
What’s the format? Do you want to involve a bit of story and role-play, or just cut right to the chase? Do you want it to feel like a casual celebrity sex tape, or a polished film? One angle the whole time, or a few change-ups?
Common dynamics you’ll see in porn films that are easy to replicate are boss/secretary, fitness trainer/client, landlord/tenant, real estate agent/buyer, massage therapist/client, affair, a maintenance house call, etc. Draw on your own fantasies to pick something that excites you.
Want to go all the way? Create stage names and use them.
This would create a fun running joke between you, adding spice to life anywhere, anytime.
Of course, you can do zero roles or story lines, and have it all be a one-take wonder where it’s simply you and your partner being intimate with each other from a generally flattering angle. This whole process can be as simple or as elaborate as you want.
Step 2: Choosing the right gear
With the new standard of technology available to the average person, it’s easy to put together decent quality film on a shoestring budget. While the gap between “decent” and “professional” is a very wide one, with many levels of nuance and sophistication, it’s really not necessary to close that gap. Some of you might want to (go for it!) but, today, you can create great content with gear you probably already have at home (or in your pocket).
Here are a few simple options for everyone on the spectrum.
Cameras
Basic: Smartphone
Better: Point-and-shoot camera
Best: HD DSLR
No matter what camera you choose, it’s probably best that you use a tripod (unless you’re doing a POV style shoot – which can also be fun). You don’t have to spend much. A local big-box store will sell them starting at $15-20, or less. There are even tripod mounts for smartphones, so you can get steady, pro looking shots with the camera in your pocket.
Tripods also have quick-release tabs so you can swap from a steady mount to point-of-view hand-cam with ease. This alone has the potential to lift the feel of your shots of the realm of “full-on amateur” to “could be semi-pro”. The rest all comes down to lighting and framing, which we’ll get to in a second.
For the smartphone route, selfie-sticks are another very cheap way to get dynamic side angles in various positions. Using the front-facing camera will let you see the frame during the action, which is a sexy way to direct shots on the fly.
Invest a little more in a selfie-stick stabilizer mount (also known as a gimbal) to get ultra-smooth shots during more intense sex without having the camera shake very much.
Lighting
If want to prioritize your spending, lighting is going to make the biggest difference in the overall quality of what you put together.
Basic: Soft, warm mood lighting, bright enough that you can see the subjects (candles, salt lamps, LED lights, etc.)
Better: Standing soft boxes – to give that real porn set look
Best: If you want to get fancy as fuck, to fuck, use an LED ring light (which, FYI, is the light that I used for the talking shots in this video), mounted either on the DSLR, or on it’s own stand, to give extra star quality to your close up shots.
Soft boxes and reflectors cast an even wash of light from the side, rather than above, which greatly improves the on-camera look.
The ring light is definitely going full-out, but it’s up to you to decide what tickles your fantasy.
If you’re on a tighter budget, get some floor lamps from IKEA with tall box-shaped lampshades – in white, preferably. Buy light bulbs that are specifically soft white and frosted, for more a more diffused output (which tends to wash out wrinkles, blemishes, etc.).
Sound
Audio is the easiest component to overlook, but it has a big impact on the viewing experience. When it’s good, it’s something you don’t even notice it. When it’s bad, it sticks out like a sore thumb.
Using external microphones will help capture clear, up-close audio, making your scenes feel much more intimate and sensual. You’ll pick up those crucial nuances, like sensual breathing, moans, and dirty talk, which massively adds to overall the sense of eroticism.
Basic: Internal smartphone/point-and-shoot mic
Better: External basic, directional mic placed near the action
Best: External directional on-board mic for HD DSLR
A simple lapel mic with a lengthy cord will run anywhere from $5 to $20+, which is already a huge improvement over built-in microphones. Tape it to the side of your headboard, or just near your position on set.
For extra clear sound, with minimal static and ambient noise, a directional shotgun mic for DSLR’s would be an awesome investment.
Step 3: Prepping for the shoot
Get camera ready in a way that makes you feel confident and beautiful. Put on any make up or outfits that you feel the sexiest in. Groom your pubic hair (if that’s a thing you do) and do a full body application of moisturizer to get a healthy sheen. Coconut oil is ideal, since it also doubles as a great natural lubricant.
It might help to remember that real porn shoots are a lot more like work than play. They constantly interrupt the flow, reshoot positions from different angles, and take intermittent breaks.
Your filming experience will likely be more personal and passionate than working on a porn set, but remember to have fun with it and focus more on you and your partner than on how the shots are turning out. Since you’ll be your own director and cinematographer, it’s easy to get distracted thinking about the lens and how everything is looking. You may also be repositioning the camera and fiddling with settings, which can interrupt your arousal’s momentum.
Finally, plan out the acts and positions you most want to film. Consider what you and your partners’ best features are or favourite acts are (blowjobs, handjobs, straight fucking, etc.), and then prioritize your shot list to highlight those elements. Think, “what will I most want to masturbate to later…” and then go film that!
Use your tripod, selfie-stick, or hand-held to film from multiple angles and get a variety of choices for editing later on.
Step 4: Filming
Remember, always keep the viewer (aka future you) in mind. During sex, and all its stages, we’re used to focusing only on the person in front of us. We’re able wrap our bodies up in each other and move without second-guessing.
That feels good to you in the moment, but it might be boring for viewers, and lends an unflattering amateur vibe.
If you’re role-playing, keep your bodies open and facing the camera at least at a 45 degree angle when you can.
During certain shots, you’ll likely have to adjust the way you usually do certain positions. Burying your faces in each other can be hot for a moment, but generally try to create space. Open up your bodies and limbs a little bit in order to let the camera see.
With that in mind, take your shot list (and/or script) and film in a progressive sequence to keep the look consistent.
Start with what filmmakers call “establishing shots”. These introduce the setting, tone and subjects. As the action develops, undress bit-by-bit as you normally would. Move through foreplay, setting changes, varying positions, all the way to the big crescendo(s).
Film Tip: When setting up a shot, always keep the rule of thirds in mind. Most cameras actually have this feature built in. If you drew a tic-tac-toe board over the screen, the people and major elements in the frame should be aligned with it. When they’re not, our brain finds it intuitively awkward or jammed up. Pay attention to this next time you’re watching TV or a movie. The rule of thirds is everywhere.
(Want to learn how to fall in love with giving blowjobs? Check out this bonus video interview featuring my wife and I, from our Queen of Blowjobs program, on this exact topic.)
Step 5: Editing
Now that you have some raw content, you’re going to edit the footage into something a bit more viewable. You don’t want shots of your nose hair while staring into the camera checking whether or not it’s recording, or dead space when the camera is being repositioned.
Edit out the beginnings and ends of the clips to make them look a bit more professional. Maybe some of the angles worked out better than others. This part of the process should still be fun, so work together with your co-star(s) to pick the ones that look the best and turn you on. Talk about the reasons why and let yourselves get turned on all over again.
Working together is important because you want the end product to be something everyone involved enjoys.
All simple modern film editing software (iMovie – which you can download for free on any Apple computer, Camtasia, etc.) has drag-and-drop title sequences and transition effects. Play around with different cross-fades and other elements to make the viewing experience as smooth as can be.
Step 6: Storage
This one is straight to the point, but still important. Do not upload any files to your cloud storage. Put them on an external hard drive, in a folder with a random name that no one would ever want to open like “Tax Returns 2013”, or “Katy Perry’s Greatest Hits”.
Unless you’ve reached another consensus, this project is highly private and for your eyes only. There’s no point in exposing yourself to the legitimate risk of your sensitive files being accessed, viewed, or released by some nosy cyber hacker.
Step 7: Celebrate!
When it’s all said-and-done, schedule an official screening party with your cast and crew. Enjoy your favourite drink, put together a few snacks, and enjoy the show!
Even if you merely entertain the planning stages of all this with a partner, be grateful for having such an open relationship. Few people have the adventurous spirit, freedom, and communication needed to explore such a thing.
If you follow through with it, you might actually find the process healing, dispelling residual shame around sexuality. It will also deepen the bond with your partner in an incredibly special way.
Whatever happens along your homemade porn creating journey, may it be joyful and playful.
Dedicated to your success,
Jordan
Ps. If you enjoyed reading this article on filming a porn, you will also love checking out:
– Supercharge Your Sex Life (video series for men)
– Inside The Male Mind (video series for women)
– Queen of Blowjobs (video series for women)
– Bring Him To God: Advanced Handjob Mastery For Women (video series for women)
– 5 Questions To Ask Your Partner For Better Sex
– The Ultimate Sexting Guide: 100+ Sexy Texts To Turn Then On Like Crazy
– How To Figure Out What Your Ideal Sex Life Looks Like
