Feb 19, 2019

How To Thoroughly Groom And Clean Your Genitals (And Be Really Extra About It)

Looking to groom or clean your genitals in a really thorough manner?

Curious as to what the benefits of doing so would be, or why anyone does it in the first place?

Maybe you’re getting back into the dating scene after a long term relationship or marriage and pubic hair ‘trends’ have shifted…

Maybe you have a sex party coming up and you want to be in top top shape in order to receive oral sex without any fear or resistance…

Or maybe you’re just tidying up from a place of self-love!

Whatever your reasons, you’ve found the right article for you.

In this piece, I’m going to deep dive into everything I know about grooming and cleaning the (male and female) genitals so thoroughly that you could go out dancing for hours and still feel confident in how you’ll be received ‘down there’.

Oh… and just in case you think that this is just going to be a drawn out piece that ultimately only says “hey, lather up your bits with soap every now and then”… NOPE! I’m going full out with all of my Virgo-esque tips on this badboy. So get ready… to be painfully extra about your genital grooming habits (if and when you choose to).

First Off, Genitals Are Not Dirty

I repeat… genitals are not dirty.

I mean, sure, they’re as ‘dirty’ as any of your skin can get if you don’t bathe for a week. But genitals (male or female) are not inherently more dirty than the rest of our bodies. At all.

When I have brought up the idea of grooming pubic hair or specifically cleaning my genitals to acquaintances, I’ve heard some of them state that doing so would cast a subtle sense of shame over their genitals. As if needing to upkeep their genitals in such a way would presuppose that that area of our bodies wasn’t lovable and acceptable just as it is. Which, to me, that logic is insane.

I don’t think that my teeth are dirty or wrong or gross because they require daily brushing. I don’t stare at the ground in shame while I’m getting my haircut because “Oh my god I’m so sorry that my disgusting scalp keeps spouting hair all the time”. Upkeep does not equal unlovable. If anything, it’s the opposite. I send love to my genitals by tending to their environment on a regular basis.

Besides, having peoples mouths on our genitals is (for the majority of people) a very pleasurable experience.

If I experienced the same level of ecstasy when someone licked my elbow, and there just happened to be a big patch of hair covering my elbow, I would remove that hair in order to heighten the sensitivity that I felt on that patch of skin. Similarly to how you feel more sensation when someone kisses your lips versus when someone kisses you on your head (assuming you have hair on your head). You get what I’m saying. Let’s move on.

Pubic Hair Grooming

Listen, first of all, it’s important to say that you should only ever be grooming your pubic hair because YOU want to.

Don’t do it because a potential partner says that they won’t commit to you unless you do something specific with your pubes. Or because that’s what people do in porn and so you assume that that’s what must be most desirable.

The intention has to come from you. You do with your pubic hair whatever the fuck you want to do with it. Including not grooming it at all and letting it go full bush for years (or the rest of your life).

Fuck societal trends. Seriously. Do whatever you want.

Still on board with wanting to trim up down there? Cool.

There are four main options for managing your pubic hair: trimming, waxing, shaving, and laser hair removal.

I’ll go into each of them (and things to keep in mind regarding each choice) now.

– Trimming your pubic hair

Trimming pubic hair is a common option that many people opt in to.

Personally, in my extended social network, I know that most of the men that I’m acquainted with trim (more than they do either of the other following methods). Whereas my female acquaintances tend to do the following two more often. But again, to each their own. You do you.

Whether you use an electric hair trimmer, a pair of scissors, or either one of those two with a comb underneath as an additional safeguard is up to you.

– Waxing your pubic hair

If you want to go fully hairless and you have a decent pain tolerance, try waxing.

Just make sure that you go to a place that has high standards of hygiene (no ‘double dipping’ ever!) and that you can find good reviews on. And, generally, if you have the choice between a waxing place that does waxing for $20 versus a place that does the same service for $80, the extra cost is usually worth it. High quality wax isn’t cheap, and it’s worth the investment to not have irritated skin and/or a patchy wax job as the end result.

Additional note: getting hair ripped off your ass crack is a lot less painful than you’d expect… and getting hair ripped off of your pubic bone (on your tummy side, either at the base of your penis or just above your clitoral hood) is the most painful spot. Hence why many people leave a landing strip. Some people leave it for aesthetics… others leave it because that particular spot hurts really fucking badly in comparison to the surrounding area.

Generally, depending on how your skin handles the process, it’s also good to exfoliate the area that you waxed 24-48 hours after you get it done to reduce the likelihood of ingrown hairs.

– Shaving your pubic hair

Shaving (again, for both men and women) is also a common practice.

Notes on this section…

– Make sure that you bathe before you shave (yes, because it cleans the area, but mainly because it softens the hair and preps the skin to be shaved, which ultimately leaves less irritation).

– Use a new/close to new razor. You do not want to use your year old, gnarly, dull razor on your pubic area. Ever.

– Use a high quality, natural shaving cream that lathers well and isn’t loaded with overly synthetic or drying ingredients like alcohol.

Afterwards, gently pat the area dry and put on a spot specific soothing lotion to calm the skin.

Other Hair Management Techniques

There’s also laser hair removal and over the counter cream hair removers.

Laser hair removal can be cost prohibitive for some people when you factor in the number of sessions that you need to do (which can easily end up costing you anywhere from $400-$1,500+). BUT laser hair removal can be crazily effective for certain people/certain hair types.

I have a close friend who got laser hair removal done on her bikini line and her hair didn’t start to grow back in for seven years. Seven! Think about how much time, energy, and paying for razor blades she saved on during that time period. So laser hair removal is a solid option for those who can afford it.

There’s also cream hair removers (aka depilatories) which, IMO, are a bit sketchy. Any chemical cream that is strong enough to burn hair off of your body might not be something that you want thaaat close to your genitals. But hey, that’s just my personal bias.

Tips On Cleaning Your Genitals For Both Men And Women

Again, whether you’re gearing up for a sex romp, night of dancing, or you’re just doing a detailed clean for your own self-care and mental health, keeping the environment of one of your most prized possessions clean is an act of love that you give to yourself.

It might seem like the advice in this section could be just as simple as saying “Soap it up, bucko”… but there are a few important details past that level of instruction.

First, use a soap free of dyes, perfumes, parabens, or other known chemicals that mess with your hormonal regulation. My go-to soap is Dr. Bronners mild, unscented baby soap. A tiny dot of it lathers really well, and it massively reduces the frequency with which you need to clean your shower (since it doesn’t leave soap scum residue like most synthetic bar soaps do).

Another tip that both men and women can benefit from is using a dab of rubbing alcohol on the surface of their skin in a few choice areas. Because an overgrowth of crotch-y smell can sometimes happen (which is 100% the scientific term for the scent), especially when you’ve been exercising or living in a humid climate, rubbing alcohol can remove the bacteria from the skin to reduce the overall scent.

For men, rub a cotton ball or cotton pad of rubbing alcohol around your scrotum, between your scrotum and your inner thighs, and then around your anus (regardless of whether or not you’re going to be engaging in any anal play, it still helps the scent factor).

For women, rub a cotton ball or cotton pad of rubbing alcohol around similar areas but never in your vagina. Your vagina is self-cleaning and does not need any rubbing alcohol OR SOAP on the inside of it ever (doing so can upset the natural PH balance and cause a yeast infection or bacterial vaginosis). When you’re in the shower, you can use warm water to rinse the area between your labia minora and labia majora but that’s plenty.

Cleaning Your Genitals For Men

– Use a natural soap to thoroughly lather up your genitals and butt crack every time you have a shower.

– If you’re uncircumcised, clean underneath your foreskin with soap on a daily basis.

– Groom your pubic hair as you see fit. The easiest/simplest way to do this is to use a simple, skin friendly, waterproof, beard and body trimmer with a guard on it. If you decide to go with a razor, always avoid multi-blade razors as shaving with them is much more likely to cause irritation and in grown hairs (compared to when shaving with a quality single blade razor, which is your best bet).

– Follow the rubbing alcohol advice (on an irregular, as-needed basis) for whenever you want that extra layer of cleanliness.

Cleaning Your Genitals For Women

– I repeat, women do NOT need to use soap to clean their vulvas or vaginas. Vaginas are self-cleaning. At most, use warm water to rinse out the ‘outside’ of your vagina (aka between your labia minora and majora).

– Groom your pubic hair as you see fit.

– Follow the above rubbing alcohol advice (on an irregular, as-needed basis) for whenever you want that extra layer of cleanliness, again, only on your skin, and never inside your body.

Perspiration Management

If you’re a big-time sweater (like, not a famous piece of clothing meant for the winter months… but a person who sweats profusely) then another tip you can use is to pat a small amount of unscented baby powder around your genital area.

This tip especially comes in handy if you’re going to be doing rigorous exercise/dancing for a few hours before sexually engaging with your partner… or you’re going to be wearing latex/leather/kink gear and sweating like a maniac for hours before getting down to business.

Baby powder easily gives you an extra 3-5 hours of not smelly time, even if you’re exercising vigorously. Regardless of the situation, between rubbing alcohol (first) and baby powder (second)… you’re golden.

Additional Tips On Scent

So we already went through a few ways to manage scent further upstream (by reducing volume of pubic hair, using rubbing alcohol on the skin surface, exfoliating, washing thoroughly in the shower, etc.), but there are a few ways that you can bump up your partners olfactory experience when they’re diving face first into your nether regions.

If your partner has a favourite scent (whether that be a perfume, cologne, essential oil, lotion, or otherwise) spritz/roll on/dab some of that sweet smelling goodness on to your lower abdomen or outer thigh to give the area a signature scent.

Try not to put the scent right where your partners nose would be when they’re going down on you… as you want the scent to be a highlight for their experience, not a distracting/overwhelming main event. It should be used as a complement, not something to hide behind.


Your genitals are perfect and beautiful just as they are. So is your pubic hair. So is your natural scent.

If none of these tips appeal to you, then literally do none of them.

This article was spawned by a client asking me how to do a deep dive cleaning of their genitals before they went away for a wild sex weekend with their husband… and this is what fell out of me.

As always, I haven’t put anything in this article that I haven’t personally tried myself. I mean, except the vagina cleaning stuff… because I haven’t had one of those attached to my body in this life time. But I fact checked that section with several of my female friends, so I feel confident in that part too.

Alright, I hope you enjoyed this and got something out of it.

Happy humping!

Dedicated to your success,


Ps. If you enjoyed this article, you will likely also love checking out the following resources:

Slow Sex: How To Magnify Your Sexual Pleasure

The Ultimate Guide To Male Grooming: 50+ Head To Toe Tips

9 Ways Anyone Can Instantly Be More Attractive

11 Ways To Be A More Attractive Man (or How To Fight Entropy 101)

10 Simple Ways To Immediately Be More Attractive To Your Man



See All
5 Powerful Ideas You Can Use For Valentine’s Day
Feb 3, 2015
Jordan Gray
5 Powerful Ideas You Can Use For Valentine’s Day
Valentine’s Day is coming up soon… do you know what you’re going to do for it? Whether you celebrate the holiday with a significant other or not, these five powerful ideas will be good ones to keep in your back pocket for future use. If you are celebrating the holiday, please, please, please avoid...
Continue Reading
In Praise Of Boring Sex
Nov 18, 2018
Jordan Gray
In Praise Of Boring Sex
The messages that we get regarding sex via pop culture have the ability to put a lot of pressure on us. Fuck for twelve hours straight! 40 orgasms each! Do it every day or else your relationship is doomed! With standards like these being thrown at us, it’s hard not to think that we might be lacking...
Continue Reading
How To Trigger The 3 Types Of Vaginal Orgasm
Nov 19, 2017
Jordan Gray
How To Trigger The 3 Types Of Vaginal Orgasm
Vaginal orgasm... fact or myth? It's insane to me that we never received any education on how to be exceptional lovers (I mean, why learn about love, connection, and intimacy when there's algebra and a history of wars to memorize, amirite?). We were not only left in the dark on women's orgasms, but...
Continue Reading
The Single Best Sex Toy For Couples (Crescendo Review)
Jul 30, 2017
Jordan Gray
The Single Best Sex Toy For Couples (Crescendo Review)
Shortly after the release of my two articles The Best Sex Toy For Men, Ever, and The Best Sex Toy For Women, Ever, I received this question from a long-time reader: "Do you know of any sex toys that both men and women can benefit from? As in, one toy, that both a man and...
Continue Reading
How To Cultivate Light And Dark Sexual Energy
Oct 29, 2015
Jordan Gray
How To Cultivate Light And Dark Sexual Energy
Five years ago I went to my first ever sex party in a "dungeon" in San Francisco. It was intense... and surprising... and definitely not what you'd expect. But before I tell you that story, I need to tell you something very important (and some very personal things about myself). This is what an...
Continue Reading
The Most Challenging 48 Hours Of My Life (A Year In Review)
Jan 1, 2014
Jordan Gray
The Most Challenging 48 Hours Of My Life (A Year In Review)
I was at one of the lowest points of my life a year and a half ago… I was depressed, unfulfilled, and having frequent panic attacks. I was in a relationship that drained me, a job that I resented, and felt incongruent with who I was and what I was doing. One morning, I woke up and decided that...
Continue Reading