What are the sex toys that every couple should own? I’ve come up with five that I think that every couple in the world could benefit from.
Sex toys can bring an added element of fun, playfulness, and exploration to your bedroom repertoire.
And ever since I started writing about sex more over the past year, this has been one of the most highly requested articles from all of my readers. But I didn’t want to just rush into writing it without having done my research (more on that soon).
The following five things are not an exhaustive list of things that could be fun sex toys for couples, but rather some of the most fun/easy-to-use staples that I believe every couple would benefit from having around on their bedside tables.
From vibrators, to masturbators, to light bondage gear, I believe that this list has something for everyone. And since sexuality is so highly unique (no two individual’s sexual desires are ever the same), I can’t guarantee that all five of the things will personally resonate with you, but I hope to open your eyes to certain sex toys that you might not have thought of otherwise including in your sex life.
Alright, enough with the pre-amble… on to the good stuff!
1. An absolutely magical male masturbator
Last year I product tested the best masturbators for men and in my research, I found a clear winner. Like, a ’no contest, hands-down, by a landslide’ kind of winner.
The Tenga Flip Hole for men. I know… the name is kind of weird. But honestly, it works so well that they could name it whatever they want and I’d still use it.
I repeat… I test drove (aka masturbated with) the five most well known brands of male masturbators and this one lapped the competition in terms of overall sexual pleasure and sensation.
The product is sleek, easy to use, easy to clean, and the technology feels amazing. Does it sound weird to call a masturbation toy’s design sleek? Well, to illustrate my point, I once left the Tenga out on my work desk and a friend of mine mistakenly asked me “Is that a new speaker?” As in, he thought it was a device that I could plug my iPod into and play music. So that’s how discreet and bad ass it looks.
I honestly can’t over-hype it enough. Imagine the best blow job you’ve ever received in your lifetime… and then multiply that by five. It worked so well that, by the time I started to climax, my feet and hands were starting to tingle.
(Side note: if you ever hear me complaining about how tough my work is, just remind me that I once had to test drive five male masturbators as part of my research. There are worse things one could do for work…)
Whether you use this toy solo while your partner is out of town, or you add it to your regular partnered sexual play, this product is an absolute winner.
The only downside is that Tenga only guarantees it’s effectiveness for approximately fifty uses. After fifty uses it supposedly (maybe?) starts to break down. I haven’t crossed the fifty threshold mark with my Tenga so I can’t speak to whether or not this is true.
When I recommend it as the winner against the competition I’m basing my decision primarily on the feeling/sensation/pleasure derived from the device… not it’s long-term durability… so do with that what you may.
(Update: I wrote a deep dive article/review on this product recently. Check out my product review on the Tenga Flip Hole here. Or you can also check out my video review below.)
2. Pocket vibrator
A vibrator? How original. But wait… there’s more!
It’s fairly well known that vibrators work wonders for women when aiming to have a clitoral orgasm, but vibrators are not just meant for clitorises. No, my friend… not at all.
Pocket sized/mini vibrators can be used in many fun ways. If your partner has a penis, roll the pocket vibrator up and down the underside of his shaft while you perform oral sex. Does your partner have an anus (hint: they do)? Experiment with adding some low level vibrations on and around their anus while their genitals are being stimulated. Some people really like the combination of stimuli.
For sexual acts as mentioned above, it’s best to find an adjustable-speed waterproof vibrator that fits in the palm of your hand. This is a good one that I’ve enjoyed quite thoroughly.
And if you’re looking for the Rolls Royce, gold standard, amaze-balls vibrator that really beats out the rest in terms of lasting power and sensation, you’re going to want to pick up the Magic Wand (formerly known as the Hitachi Magic Wand).
Again, this can be used for female clitoral stimulation, or it can be used for stimulating your testicles, anus, or any other body part your sexy self desires. The sky’s the limit! Oh yeah… the Magic Wand also plugs in to the wall so the batteries will never die juuuust as you’re approaching the best orgasm of your life (but make sure there’s an outlet near your bed before you pick yours up).
(Update: I wrote a deep dive article all about the wonders of the Magic Wand. You can check it out by clicking here.)
3. Slippery stuff
While I don’t advise using lubricant for penetrative sex in general (since women already have lubrication as their natural arousal response… and you don’t see guys popping Viagra every time they’re about to have sex), it’s always good to have a water based lubricant and/or coconut oil on hand for when you want to get slippery. Why coconut oil? Why use lube? When should you use each one? Read on.
Water based lubricant is great for: having sex with latex condoms, anal sex.
Coconut oil is great for: massage, manual stimulation, vaginal intercourse (yes, it’s safe, unless you’re especially prone to yeast infections, then steer clear), masturbation, lubricant for toys, anal sex.
Why can’t you just use coconut oil for everything? The reason you don’t want to use coconut oil for condom’ed sex is that oil can break down latex… and broken condoms kind of defeat the purpose of using condoms.
Plus many water based lubricants (even if they’re listed as unscented) still smell plastic-y. When you use coconut oil for non-condom’ed sex it smells like you’re having sex with the beach! Which is a great thing, even when you love the smell of your lover’s natural scent.
My all-time favourite brand of water based lubricant is JO Water Based Lubricant (which you can find here), and my all-time favourite brand of coconut oil (for use in cooking and for sex) is Nutiva Organic Coconut Oil.
4. Vibrating cock rings
These work really well for some, and not so well for others (generally depending on you and your partners individual levels of sensitivity).
A vibrating cock ring is essentially a rubbery piece of stretchy plastic that stretches around your penis with a vibrator attached to the side of it. The result? Your penis vibrates while inside of your partner and can rub up against their clitoris if positioned properly.
Again, this one, probably more than any other on this list, is fully up to personal preference. I know some people (male and female) that say that it doesn’t do much of anything for them, and others (both male and female) that can only put on the vibrating cock ring when they’re both ready to orgasm (because it pushes them both over the edge in under thirty seconds). So try it out! You and/or your partner might like it.
I’d recommend starting out with this brand.
Note: Because they’re generally more disposable and the batteries don’t last forever, the cost can add up quickly. So if you discover that you enjoy them, maybe buy 3-5 of them to have on hand, but use them as more of a special occasion toy as opposed to an every-time toy.
5. Adjustable wrist straps
Alright, so you’ve heard of lube and vibrators. Maybe you’ve played around with a cock ring or two. Now (for most people) we’re into the comfort zone stretching stuff.
Adjustable wrist straps are the simplest, easiest to use, and most versatile toy that you can bring into your sexual den.
Whether you’re tying someone’s wrists together, strapping one of their hands to a bed post, or tying their ankles together, these versatile little beauties are one of the best ways for couples to start engaging in light bondage/kinky stuff.
Amazon has some high quality options. And if those don’t ship to you, you can always check out your town’s local, swanky sex store. The main things you’re looking for are soft (unless your partner enjoys the pain of a firmer leather or metal set), and easily adjustable. There’s something sexy about being able to spread or close the distance of your partners limbs (arms or legs) with a quick and masterful pull of one rip-cord while in the throws of passion. Also, quick release buckles are great for when you want to untie them when you’ve both orgasmed and/or reached the conclusion of your night of sexual exploration.
Like I mentioned in the article, not everything in the list will necessarily appeal to you. But if some of the options seem a little bit titillating, I’d recommend stretching your comfort zone and trying something new.
Ultimately, with an open mind, a loving and supportive partner, and a sense of curiosity, any one/couple can introduce sex toys into their bedroom routine and see mutual benefits.
Dedicated to your success,
Ps. If you’re a man who wants to level up his sexual abilities, I strongly encourage you to check out my video series called Supercharge Your Sex Life. In this video series, I deep dive into how you can get superhuman sexual stamina, more predictable, and solid erections, and how to give her the most mind-blowing orgasms of her life. I even demonstrate (on camera) how to give clitoral orgasms, G-spot squirting orgasms, full body sensual massages, and more. It’s pretty crazy stuff 😉
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