Jan 13, 2015

Stop Having Sex (For The Sake Of Orgasms)!

It’s time that we started a revolution in how we think about sex.

Frustrated men, women, and lovers world wide are standing up and saying ENOUGH already with this two-dimensional sex.

Here’s the problem…

Most men think of sex as a linear act. I could be all politically correct and say most people, but really I feel like more men think of sex as linear compared to most women.

What do I mean when I say linear?

Linear: progressing from one stage to another in a single series of steps.

AKA cuddling, then kissing, then groping, then (maybe) oral, then penetrative intercourse, ending with the man’s orgasm.

And if both you AND your partner are blissfully happy with this arrangement, then that is fantastic. You can stop reading right now.

But if one or both of you are somewhat dissatisfied with the limited amount of happy chemicals swimming around in your brain after your sex-session, then read on.

It’s time to re-think the way that we interact with sex.

I propose that we think of sex as a cyclical, instead of a linear, process.

So instead of the predictable A, then B, then C narrative we’ve been conditioned to believe is the only way to the big O… I am suggesting a complete overhaul into the more cyclical and/or chaotic realm of sexuality.

Your extended sex date can start with surprise oral (in the shower, while making dinner, greeting your partner as they come home from work…) just as easily as it can start with an hour of spoon cuddling.

There’s no “right” order for who climaxes first… or how many times you each do.

You can climax first, or they can climax first. You can go down on each other before, during, or after intercourse. They can orgasm repeatedly, you can, or you both can. Bottom line, there’s no right way to have sex. There’s only you and your partner’s way. And this is a new way that you can try out to see if it resonates with you and your partner.

The possibilities are literally endless.

The overarching benefits of this new way of thinking about sex are:

1) You both take the pressure off of yourselves that you’re not doing the “next step” properly or in the right order

2) There’s less pressure on when or if any individual orgasm is going to arrive

3) The sex session tends to go on longer and fill you both up with bliss-inducing happy brain chemicals because you get to swim in each other’s delicious bodies for that much longer.

In short, less stress, less formality, more pleasure for both of you.

Happy humping!

Blog

Related

See All
The 3 Timeless Laws Of Attraction
Oct 16, 2013
Jordan Gray
The 3 Timeless Laws Of Attraction
Humans are fairly predictable creatures. Because of this, we crave a sense of differentiation. We all want to be unique. We want to feel special. We want to believe that the rules that apply to all people don’t automatically apply to us. But you know something… It's okay to be human. And...
Continue Reading
The Ultimate Guide To Increasing Sexual Stamina For Men
Dec 13, 2018
Jordan Gray
The Ultimate Guide To Increasing Sexual Stamina For Men
Looking to increase your sexual stamina? Do you want to be able to thrust for hours at full power without worrying about finishing too quickly, and having total control over when you ejaculate? What if I told you that you could even choose IF you wanted to come at all? Sorcery, you say? Continue Reading
7 Things Men Can Learn From Fifty Shades Of Grey
Oct 7, 2014
Jordan Gray
7 Things Men Can Learn From Fifty Shades Of Grey
Ever heard of Fifty Shades Of Grey? It recently became the best-selling sex book of all time. While I’m somewhat glad that the book exists because it puts certain elements of kink/BDSM into mainstream culture and has started a more global conversation about these lifestyles (in a terribly misrepresentative...
Continue Reading
5 Ways To Stay Attracted To A Partner You've Been With For Years
Jun 9, 2014
Jordan Gray
5 Ways To Stay Attracted To A Partner You’ve Been With For Years
One of the most common questions that I get asked from my clients in relationships is "How do you stay attracted to someone you've been with for years?" I've interviewed couples who have been married from a few months to 50+ years, and they all agree - sexual attraction ebbs and flows in every re...
Continue Reading
5 Powerful Ideas You Can Use For Valentine’s Day
Feb 3, 2015
Jordan Gray
5 Powerful Ideas You Can Use For Valentine’s Day
Valentine’s Day is coming up soon… do you know what you’re going to do for it? Whether you celebrate the holiday with a significant other or not, these five powerful ideas will be good ones to keep in your back pocket for future use. If you are celebrating the holiday, please, please, please avoid...
Continue Reading
Destroy Your Sexual Ego: How To 10x Your Sexual Connection In Bed
Aug 4, 2014
Jordan Gray
Destroy Your Sexual Ego: How To 10x Your Sexual Connection In Bed
You lie on your back. Your chest is heaving with a rapid and full breath. Your performance was a stellar one and you did everything that Maxim told you to. You look over to witness her expression and your stomach drops. Not only does she not look blissed out in a post-orgasmic whirlwind of happiness,...
Continue Reading