Jan 13, 2015

Stop Having Sex (For The Sake Of Orgasms)!

It’s time that we started a revolution in how we think about sex.

Frustrated men, women, and lovers world wide are standing up and saying ENOUGH already with this two-dimensional sex.

Here’s the problem…

Most men think of sex as a linear act. I could be all politically correct and say most people, but really I feel like more men think of sex as linear compared to most women.

What do I mean when I say linear?

Linear: progressing from one stage to another in a single series of steps.

AKA cuddling, then kissing, then groping, then (maybe) oral, then penetrative intercourse, ending with the man’s orgasm.

And if both you AND your partner are blissfully happy with this arrangement, then that is fantastic. You can stop reading right now.

But if one or both of you are somewhat dissatisfied with the limited amount of happy chemicals swimming around in your brain after your sex-session, then read on.

It’s time to re-think the way that we interact with sex.

I propose that we think of sex as a cyclical, instead of a linear, process.

So instead of the predictable A, then B, then C narrative we’ve been conditioned to believe is the only way to the big O… I am suggesting a complete overhaul into the more cyclical and/or chaotic realm of sexuality.

Your extended sex date can start with surprise oral (in the shower, while making dinner, greeting your partner as they come home from work…) just as easily as it can start with an hour of spoon cuddling.

There’s no “right” order for who climaxes first… or how many times you each do.

You can climax first, or they can climax first. You can go down on each other before, during, or after intercourse. They can orgasm repeatedly, you can, or you both can. Bottom line, there’s no right way to have sex. There’s only you and your partner’s way. And this is a new way that you can try out to see if it resonates with you and your partner.

The possibilities are literally endless.

The overarching benefits of this new way of thinking about sex are:

1) You both take the pressure off of yourselves that you’re not doing the “next step” properly or in the right order

2) There’s less pressure on when or if any individual orgasm is going to arrive

3) The sex session tends to go on longer and fill you both up with bliss-inducing happy brain chemicals because you get to swim in each other’s delicious bodies for that much longer.

In short, less stress, less formality, more pleasure for both of you.

Happy humping!

Blog

Related

See All
How To Recover From Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction
Sep 23, 2018
Jordan Gray
How To Recover From Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction
Porn induced erectile dysfunction can slowly ruin your love life... especially if you don't know how to effectively reverse it. Are you a relatively healthy guy, but you have trouble getting firm, lasting erections during sex? Do you need to get lost in mental fantasies to get...
Continue Reading
How Experiencing Burnout Made Me A Better Partner
Apr 20, 2015
Jordan Gray
How Experiencing Burnout Made Me A Better Partner
A couple of years ago when I first started building my business, I was working unsustainably crazy hours. I wrote three books in two months, I was writing four new articles per week, and I was hopping around from city to city every few days and dealing with all of the logistics that came along with that. It...
Continue Reading
What Amazing Sex Feels Like For Men (In Their Words)
Dec 13, 2015
Jordan Gray
What Amazing Sex Feels Like For Men (In Their Words)
On the heels of the success of my article What Amazing Sex Feels Like For Women, I've had multiple requests to write a follow up from the male perspective. And I aim to please! So, this time, I reached out to my five most eloquent, self-aware male friends (who are all non-writers) and asked them to...
Continue Reading
The 3 Timeless Laws Of Attraction
Oct 16, 2013
Jordan Gray
The 3 Timeless Laws Of Attraction
Humans are fairly predictable creatures. Because of this, we crave a sense of differentiation. We all want to be unique. We want to feel special. We want to believe that the rules that apply to all people don’t automatically apply to us. But you know something… It's okay to be human. And...
Continue Reading
Porn Is Ruining Your Sex Life
Mar 23, 2013
Jordan Gray
Porn Is Ruining Your Sex Life
I was recently working with a client- let’s call him Joe- who has been plagued constantly by erectile dysfunction. Impotence was a consistent source of stress in his life. Since losing his virginity at 17, Joe experienced difficulty achieving and maintaining an erection anytime he was with a woman he...
Continue Reading
How To Fall In Love With Masturbation
Jul 20, 2015
Jordan Gray
How To Fall In Love With Masturbation
Whether it’s the religious shame, fear of getting caught by our parents when we’re young, Western society having a tight ass around anything to do with sexuality… or who knows what other reason… masturbation gets a bad wrap. Because the truth of the matter is… Masturbation is awesome. It’s pleasurable....
Continue Reading