Mar 5, 2016

Your Life Is A Garden

Your life is a garden. And it needs constant attention.

Your garden needs water, sunlight, effort, and love in order to truly thrive.

If you treat your soil well then nutritious foods and beautiful flowers will be able to spring forth, or… you can treat your soil badly and it’ll feel like nothing ever really blooms or flourishes in your world.

Be mindful of who you allow to plant seeds in your soil. The wrong people can plant the wrong seeds and it can harm the quality of your garden in no time. If you aren’t mindful of who you allow into your garden, it can sometimes become unrecognizable in a matter of weeks.

Your deeply rooted beliefs are the thick tree trunks that seem impossible to remove. But it’s worth it to try.

Maybe someone once carved “You aren’t good enough” into the bark of one of the trees and it stares at you constantly, even when you aren’t looking in it’s direction. Remember, excavations are possible. It’ll be hard work, and you’ll work up a sweat trying to uproot it… you’ll likely want to give up out of sheer frustration… but there’s more sunshine when the trees are gone and the decaying leaves aren’t blocking all of the sunlight.

Be ruthless in pulling out the weeds from your garden. Remove whole plants regularly. It’s all up for questioning. Every single part of it. Nothing is sacred in your garden, other than what you deem to be.

Maybe you used to love roses, but now you’re kind of over roses and you want something a bit more unique. That’s fine. You’re allowed to change your mind.

Remember that no matter how beautiful and brilliant and awe-inspiring a certain floral display is, it will change. Usually much sooner than you want it to.

It will constantly be changing. The trick is to let go of the expectation that it will stay the same one day after the next, and loving it wholly when you stumble upon it’s marvellous, momentary beauty.

Above all else, remember that it’s your garden.

You get to do exactly what you want with it.

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
What I Learned At Five About Generosity
Jan 10, 2024
Jordan Gray
What I Learned At Five About Generosity
When I was in the first grade (5 years old)... In our classroom, my teacher had this system called 'Good News Notes'. Each student had a little manila envelope stuck to the wall, with their name on it. Jordan. Ashley. Curtis. Jacqueline. Daniel. Philip. These envelopes... lined up side by...
Continue Reading
5 Powerful Romantic Gestures They Will Remember Forever
Jul 14, 2015
Jordan Gray
5 Powerful Romantic Gestures They Will Remember Forever
Ever wanted to do something truly special for your partner? Maybe you’ve been around the block and you feel like you’ve done all there is to do. Maybe you’re an all-around superb intimate partner in a lot of ways. Maybe… just maybe… on occasion you’ve even managed to make your significant other...
Continue Reading
5 Of The People I Respect The Most In The World
Jan 15, 2017
Jordan Gray
5 Of The People I Respect The Most In The World
I have had a lot of mentors throughout my lifetime. Some of them I have done work with in real life, others I have only learned from at a distance (whether because of their limited availability, or because they are no longer alive). One of the greatest life hacks available to us is to surround ourselves...
Continue Reading
The Ultimate Guide To Attracting A Partner That Aligns With You
Jul 16, 2014
Jordan Gray
The Ultimate Guide To Attracting A Partner That Aligns With You
As much as my books and blog posts largely focus on how to be the ultimate relationship partner, I get asked by men on a daily basis how to meet and attract a quality relationship in the first place. Without further ado, here is what I have learned through 15 years of serial monogamy. While getting...
Continue Reading
Does Therapy Even Work?
Oct 20, 2018
Jordan Gray
Does Therapy Even Work?
Does therapy actually work or is it just a bunch of hoity-toity bullshit for rich people who want to complain to a stranger about their problems? Myths and stereotypes abound about talk-based therapy. People think that therapists ‘shrink’ heads. Or that therapy clients are simply ‘na...
Continue Reading
When Feeling Your Feelings Becomes Damaging
Apr 3, 2016
Jordan Gray
When Feeling Your Feelings Becomes Damaging
I am a huge proponent of feeling your feelings. We are a society who numbs. Instead of our feeling our feelings, we do everything in our power to avoid going directly through our pain. We self-medicate with being "sooo busy". We self-medicate with distractions. We self-medicate with drinking,...
Continue Reading