Mar 5, 2016

Your Life Is A Garden

Your life is a garden. And it needs constant attention.

Your garden needs water, sunlight, effort, and love in order to truly thrive.

If you treat your soil well then nutritious foods and beautiful flowers will be able to spring forth, or… you can treat your soil badly and it’ll feel like nothing ever really blooms or flourishes in your world.

Be mindful of who you allow to plant seeds in your soil. The wrong people can plant the wrong seeds and it can harm the quality of your garden in no time. If you aren’t mindful of who you allow into your garden, it can sometimes become unrecognizable in a matter of weeks.

Your deeply rooted beliefs are the thick tree trunks that seem impossible to remove. But it’s worth it to try.

Maybe someone once carved “You aren’t good enough” into the bark of one of the trees and it stares at you constantly, even when you aren’t looking in it’s direction. Remember, excavations are possible. It’ll be hard work, and you’ll work up a sweat trying to uproot it… you’ll likely want to give up out of sheer frustration… but there’s more sunshine when the trees are gone and the decaying leaves aren’t blocking all of the sunlight.

Be ruthless in pulling out the weeds from your garden. Remove whole plants regularly. It’s all up for questioning. Every single part of it. Nothing is sacred in your garden, other than what you deem to be.

Maybe you used to love roses, but now you’re kind of over roses and you want something a bit more unique. That’s fine. You’re allowed to change your mind.

Remember that no matter how beautiful and brilliant and awe-inspiring a certain floral display is, it will change. Usually much sooner than you want it to.

It will constantly be changing. The trick is to let go of the expectation that it will stay the same one day after the next, and loving it wholly when you stumble upon it’s marvellous, momentary beauty.

Above all else, remember that it’s your garden.

You get to do exactly what you want with it.

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
7 Ways Your Amazon Gift Cards Can Improve Your Love Life
Jan 14, 2017
Jordan Gray
7 Ways Your Amazon Gift Cards Can Improve Your Love Life
I received this letter from one of my coaching clients a few days ago, and I wanted to share my super-dense response with you here... "Hi Jordan. I was gifted several Amazon gift cards for Christmas and, being new to the Amazon/online-shopping-ecosphere, I was curious as to what you would...
Continue Reading
7 Things I Want You To Remember If I Die Young
Nov 10, 2018
Jordan Gray
7 Things I Want You To Remember If I Die Young
I’ve lost two close friends over the past few years. One was 25 years old, the other was 30. And, without hyperbole or rose-coloured glasses on my face, I can easily say that they were both some of the best people I have ever known. The kind of people that make me think ‘Only the good die young’...
Continue Reading
30 Life Lessons From 30 Years Of Living
Apr 24, 2017
Jordan Gray
30 Life Lessons From 30 Years Of Living
It was my 30th birthday a few days ago. Roughly 30 years ago I came into the world a fat, loud, fuzzy little baby. And now I'm a slender, quiet, fuzzy big man. Oh how the times have changed! I'm pretty sure I've learned some things in my 30 years of existing... but at the same time, I feel like the...
Continue Reading
6 Ways To Save Your Struggling Relationship
Sep 7, 2015
Jordan Gray
6 Ways To Save Your Struggling Relationship
This one’s for all of you long-term relationship folks! While I usually tend to write about how to turn a good relationship into a great relationship (through things like connection exercises, date nights, sexual communication, romantic gestures, overall prioritization, and increasing depth in your...
Continue Reading
Hope Is A Terrible Plan
Jan 27, 2024
Jordan Gray
Hope Is A Terrible Plan
In the quest for love, hope, while comforting, often falls short as a strategy. The truth is, love seldom knocks on doors uninvited. It's found in the midst of life's hustle, in the laughter shared over a coffee, in the serendipitous encounters at a bookstore, or in the electric air of a social gathering. When...
Continue Reading
Stop Hoping For An Easy Life
Jan 10, 2019
Jordan Gray
Stop Hoping For An Easy Life
Today, more than ever, people are psychologically soft. We have been raised in a time of unprecedented ease, comfort, and convenience. We are, on a daily basis, guarded from the painful realities of life. We avoid real-time romantic rejection by swiping left and right on the faces of strangers. We...
Continue Reading