Mar 5, 2016

Your Life Is A Garden

Your life is a garden. And it needs constant attention.

Your garden needs water, sunlight, effort, and love in order to truly thrive.

If you treat your soil well then nutritious foods and beautiful flowers will be able to spring forth, or… you can treat your soil badly and it’ll feel like nothing ever really blooms or flourishes in your world.

Be mindful of who you allow to plant seeds in your soil. The wrong people can plant the wrong seeds and it can harm the quality of your garden in no time. If you aren’t mindful of who you allow into your garden, it can sometimes become unrecognizable in a matter of weeks.

Your deeply rooted beliefs are the thick tree trunks that seem impossible to remove. But it’s worth it to try.

Maybe someone once carved “You aren’t good enough” into the bark of one of the trees and it stares at you constantly, even when you aren’t looking in it’s direction. Remember, excavations are possible. It’ll be hard work, and you’ll work up a sweat trying to uproot it… you’ll likely want to give up out of sheer frustration… but there’s more sunshine when the trees are gone and the decaying leaves aren’t blocking all of the sunlight.

Be ruthless in pulling out the weeds from your garden. Remove whole plants regularly. It’s all up for questioning. Every single part of it. Nothing is sacred in your garden, other than what you deem to be.

Maybe you used to love roses, but now you’re kind of over roses and you want something a bit more unique. That’s fine. You’re allowed to change your mind.

Remember that no matter how beautiful and brilliant and awe-inspiring a certain floral display is, it will change. Usually much sooner than you want it to.

It will constantly be changing. The trick is to let go of the expectation that it will stay the same one day after the next, and loving it wholly when you stumble upon it’s marvellous, momentary beauty.

Above all else, remember that it’s your garden.

You get to do exactly what you want with it.

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
12 Romantic Proposal Ideas For You To Steal
Apr 1, 2021
Jordan Gray
12 Romantic Proposal Ideas For You To Steal
So you’re ready to get down on one knee and tie the knot with the love of your life… Before we get to talking about ways to do it, let me grab my trumpet and set off some confetti cannons… Because that is amazing! (*Cue explosions and marching band*) The fact that you’re at a place in your relationship...
Continue Reading
3 Ways That Men And Women Are Conditioned Differently
Apr 24, 2020
Jordan Gray
3 Ways That Men And Women Are Conditioned Differently
No one escapes childhood without passing through a gauntlet of messages about what is expected from them. And while no one gets through unscathed, the messages that men and women receive tend to differ in some fairly consistent ways. Today, I’m going to dig into three of the most common differences. Why?...
Continue Reading
How To Handle The Pain Of Sexual Rejection From Your Partner
Nov 28, 2020
Jordan Gray
How To Handle The Pain Of Sexual Rejection From Your Partner
Ever been sexually rejected by your partner? If you've ever been in a relationship that's lasted longer than six months, the answer would be yes. I recently got this email from a reader, and I decided to answer it in a long-form article, as I know that others would benefit from it. Here's the letter,...
Continue Reading
How Making Mistakes Gets You Ahead In Life
May 9, 2013
Jordan Gray
How Making Mistakes Gets You Ahead In Life
Are you worried that you are messing up a lot in your life? One of the most common concerns that I get from my clients is that they feel like they are failing. They feel like they are failing in life… in their careers… and in their relationships. If you sometimes feel this way, then you are exactly...
Continue Reading
7 Things I Am Actively Working On In My Life Right Now
Nov 14, 2016
Jordan Gray
7 Things I Am Actively Working On In My Life Right Now
If you've been following me closely this year, you'll know that this has been a year of massive growth for me. Breakups, breakthroughs, loss, grief, anxiety, depression, hundreds of tears... I could go on. So many of my primary ego defences have started to crumble down after decades of use, to reveal...
Continue Reading
How Experiencing Burnout Made Me A Better Partner
Apr 20, 2015
Jordan Gray
How Experiencing Burnout Made Me A Better Partner
A couple of years ago when I first started building my business, I was working unsustainably crazy hours. I wrote three books in two months, I was writing four new articles per week, and I was hopping around from city to city every few days and dealing with all of the logistics that came along with that. It...
Continue Reading