Mar 5, 2016

Your Life Is A Garden

Your life is a garden. And it needs constant attention.

Your garden needs water, sunlight, effort, and love in order to truly thrive.

If you treat your soil well then nutritious foods and beautiful flowers will be able to spring forth, or… you can treat your soil badly and it’ll feel like nothing ever really blooms or flourishes in your world.

Be mindful of who you allow to plant seeds in your soil. The wrong people can plant the wrong seeds and it can harm the quality of your garden in no time. If you aren’t mindful of who you allow into your garden, it can sometimes become unrecognizable in a matter of weeks.

Your deeply rooted beliefs are the thick tree trunks that seem impossible to remove. But it’s worth it to try.

Maybe someone once carved “You aren’t good enough” into the bark of one of the trees and it stares at you constantly, even when you aren’t looking in it’s direction. Remember, excavations are possible. It’ll be hard work, and you’ll work up a sweat trying to uproot it… you’ll likely want to give up out of sheer frustration… but there’s more sunshine when the trees are gone and the decaying leaves aren’t blocking all of the sunlight.

Be ruthless in pulling out the weeds from your garden. Remove whole plants regularly. It’s all up for questioning. Every single part of it. Nothing is sacred in your garden, other than what you deem to be.

Maybe you used to love roses, but now you’re kind of over roses and you want something a bit more unique. That’s fine. You’re allowed to change your mind.

Remember that no matter how beautiful and brilliant and awe-inspiring a certain floral display is, it will change. Usually much sooner than you want it to.

It will constantly be changing. The trick is to let go of the expectation that it will stay the same one day after the next, and loving it wholly when you stumble upon it’s marvellous, momentary beauty.

Above all else, remember that it’s your garden.

You get to do exactly what you want with it.

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
Unrealized Potential Is The Default, Not The Exception
Dec 21, 2018
Jordan Gray
Unrealized Potential Is The Default, Not The Exception
On January 18th, 1779, a young boy named Peter was born in London, England. Peter grew up in a small home with his mother, father, and younger sister. When Peter was just four years old, his father died, and it left a terrible mark on his heart. He felt powerless and heartbroken to have lost someone...
Continue Reading
Seasonal Affective Disorder: 5 Tips To Prevent It Completely
Oct 22, 2017
Jordan Gray
Seasonal Affective Disorder: 5 Tips To Prevent It Completely
I had a reader question come in a few days ago that I found interesting enough to respond to in full, and I've decided to share it publicly so that others may benefit. - "Hey Jordan, I suffer from seasonal affective disorder. I live in the Pacific Northwest and I definitely feel the...
Continue Reading
3 Crazy Effective Workouts For Lazy People
Feb 17, 2017
Jordan Gray
3 Crazy Effective Workouts For Lazy People
I have a confession to make... In many areas of my life, I am a ridiculously lazy person. The most pronounced part of my life where this shows up is in how I exercise. You see, I absolutely adore the benefits that I get from exercising (primarily: better quality sleep, creativity, resilience to getting...
Continue Reading
Why You Should Make Time For The Things That Matter
Apr 13, 2016
Jordan Gray
Why You Should Make Time For The Things That Matter
There's a funny quirk when it comes to human behaviour and motivation... Most people will do anything to solve a deeply painful experience that they feel in the present moment, but very little to prevent that same event from entering their life in the future. But it is exactly these...
Continue Reading
7 Popular Mistakes You Don’t Want To Make
Sep 24, 2025
Jordan Gray
7 Popular Mistakes You Don’t Want To Make
We all want to live a meaningful life, but most of us unknowingly carry blind spots that hold us back. And they don’t always look like “big”, punch-you-in-the-face-obvious mistakes. They usually show up as quiet, subtle defaults. Left unchecked (and unseen), these patterns inevitably rob us of growth,...
Continue Reading
How To Ease Into Love When Love Terrifies You
Nov 10, 2014
Jordan Gray
How To Ease Into Love When Love Terrifies You
“The world will break your heart ten ways to Sunday. That’s guaranteed.” - Bradley Cooper in Silver Linings Playbook We all suffer tragedies in life. Break ups, abandonments, lost loved ones, and countless other bumps and bruises will take their toll on our hearts as we live. It’s so tempting...
Continue Reading