Mar 5, 2016

Your Life Is A Garden

Your life is a garden. And it needs constant attention.

Your garden needs water, sunlight, effort, and love in order to truly thrive.

If you treat your soil well then nutritious foods and beautiful flowers will be able to spring forth, or… you can treat your soil badly and it’ll feel like nothing ever really blooms or flourishes in your world.

Be mindful of who you allow to plant seeds in your soil. The wrong people can plant the wrong seeds and it can harm the quality of your garden in no time. If you aren’t mindful of who you allow into your garden, it can sometimes become unrecognizable in a matter of weeks.

Your deeply rooted beliefs are the thick tree trunks that seem impossible to remove. But it’s worth it to try.

Maybe someone once carved “You aren’t good enough” into the bark of one of the trees and it stares at you constantly, even when you aren’t looking in it’s direction. Remember, excavations are possible. It’ll be hard work, and you’ll work up a sweat trying to uproot it… you’ll likely want to give up out of sheer frustration… but there’s more sunshine when the trees are gone and the decaying leaves aren’t blocking all of the sunlight.

Be ruthless in pulling out the weeds from your garden. Remove whole plants regularly. It’s all up for questioning. Every single part of it. Nothing is sacred in your garden, other than what you deem to be.

Maybe you used to love roses, but now you’re kind of over roses and you want something a bit more unique. That’s fine. You’re allowed to change your mind.

Remember that no matter how beautiful and brilliant and awe-inspiring a certain floral display is, it will change. Usually much sooner than you want it to.

It will constantly be changing. The trick is to let go of the expectation that it will stay the same one day after the next, and loving it wholly when you stumble upon it’s marvellous, momentary beauty.

Above all else, remember that it’s your garden.

You get to do exactly what you want with it.

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
5 Ways To Make Working With Your Partner Work
Apr 9, 2014
Jordan Gray
5 Ways To Make Working With Your Partner Work
Working with your partner within a business can be one of the most challenging, and most rewarding things that you've ever done together. If you are thinking about working with your partner (either by hiring them part time or going into business with them as equal partners) there are some things you'll...
Continue Reading
I Had Sex With Over 300 Women, And Then Got Married
Jul 30, 2023
Jordan Gray
I Had Sex With Over 300 Women, And Then Got Married
Between the ages of 16-30, I had well over 300 sexual partners. At a certain point, I stopped counting... but my best guess would be somewhere between 330-380. When I've told select friends this, they are often amazed. How does someone even rack up those kinds of numbers? In reality, I was absolutely...
Continue Reading
Suicidal To Successful To Self-Loving: The First 33 Years Of My Life
May 25, 2020
Jordan Gray
Suicidal To Successful To Self-Loving: The First 33 Years Of My Life
The following is a summary of the first 33 years of my life. Kind of like a thus-far-autobiography. It should be noted that I am an unreliable narrator... as all narrators are. Because my perspectives are only my own. I'm sure some facts are muddied by my highly fallible human memory, especially...
Continue Reading
Parentification: What It Is And 3 Powerful Ways To Heal From It
Aug 1, 2024
Jordan Gray
Parentification: What It Is And 3 Powerful Ways To Heal From It
Over the last 15+ years, I've worked with many adults who struggled with the aftermath of parentification in their youth. Parentification is when a child takes on roles and responsibilities usually meant for a parent. This happens when the child has to care for siblings or even the parents themselves. When...
Continue Reading
8 Ways To Be The Healthiest Person In The World
Dec 21, 2017
Jordan Gray
8 Ways To Be The Healthiest Person In The World
Want to be the healthiest person in the world? Vibrant health comes down to a simple set of conscious choices. But in order to make those choices consistently you have to be able to take charge, stay awake, and push back against your own mind. When it comes to being in the driver's seat of their lives,...
Continue Reading
Unfathomable Pain, Unfathomable Beauty
Mar 18, 2018
Jordan Gray
Unfathomable Pain, Unfathomable Beauty
The world is incomprehensibly vast and dynamic. It would be too easy to throw in the nihilistic towel and say, 'The world is too messed up. My life has no meaning. What's the point of it all?' Because, yes, the amount of pain and suffering in the world is truly unfathomable. Every day, loved...
Continue Reading