Mar 5, 2016

Your Life Is A Garden

Your life is a garden. And it needs constant attention.

Your garden needs water, sunlight, effort, and love in order to truly thrive.

If you treat your soil well then nutritious foods and beautiful flowers will be able to spring forth, or… you can treat your soil badly and it’ll feel like nothing ever really blooms or flourishes in your world.

Be mindful of who you allow to plant seeds in your soil. The wrong people can plant the wrong seeds and it can harm the quality of your garden in no time. If you aren’t mindful of who you allow into your garden, it can sometimes become unrecognizable in a matter of weeks.

Your deeply rooted beliefs are the thick tree trunks that seem impossible to remove. But it’s worth it to try.

Maybe someone once carved “You aren’t good enough” into the bark of one of the trees and it stares at you constantly, even when you aren’t looking in it’s direction. Remember, excavations are possible. It’ll be hard work, and you’ll work up a sweat trying to uproot it… you’ll likely want to give up out of sheer frustration… but there’s more sunshine when the trees are gone and the decaying leaves aren’t blocking all of the sunlight.

Be ruthless in pulling out the weeds from your garden. Remove whole plants regularly. It’s all up for questioning. Every single part of it. Nothing is sacred in your garden, other than what you deem to be.

Maybe you used to love roses, but now you’re kind of over roses and you want something a bit more unique. That’s fine. You’re allowed to change your mind.

Remember that no matter how beautiful and brilliant and awe-inspiring a certain floral display is, it will change. Usually much sooner than you want it to.

It will constantly be changing. The trick is to let go of the expectation that it will stay the same one day after the next, and loving it wholly when you stumble upon it’s marvellous, momentary beauty.

Above all else, remember that it’s your garden.

You get to do exactly what you want with it.

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
The Intentional Life Ep.7: The Ultimate Nutritional Supplements
Jul 2, 2017
Jordan Gray
The Intentional Life Ep.7: The Ultimate Nutritional Supplements
This week on the Intentional Life, I interview my good friend Mike Muscari. If you follow me closely, you might recognize Mike from various things I've posted over the last year. Mike is a wave surfing, biohacking, dog-owning serial entrepreneur with a heart of gold. He also lives his life with...
Continue Reading
The Intentional Life Ep.1: Discover Your Core Gifts With Ken Page
May 16, 2016
Jordan Gray
The Intentional Life Ep.1: Discover Your Core Gifts With Ken Page
I sent out a survey to my readers a few months ago asking what people wanted to see more of, and there was a huge vote for more free video content. Well, ask and you shall receive! Introducing (drum roll please...), the first episode of The Intentional Life video series. In today's episode,...
Continue Reading
3 Ways To Set Up Your Single Life For Success In Dating
Jun 16, 2014
Jordan Gray
3 Ways To Set Up Your Single Life For Success In Dating
It's all too easy to blindly fumble around from dysfunctional relationship to dysfunctional relationship. But does that mean that that's your only option? There are things that you can do in the space between your relationships that will set you up for success in your love life. Miss these, and...
Continue Reading
How To Not Sabotage A Promising New Relationship
Aug 28, 2025
Jordan Gray
How To Not Sabotage A Promising New Relationship
Ever worried about sabotaging a promising new relationship? It isn't just you. A client recently sent me the following email: "I have been in a new relationship for a month now and I like him so much. The problem is that I have an obsession with manifesting him leaving. It sounds convoluted but...
Continue Reading
9 Ways To Improve Your Marriage Using Inversion Thinking
Feb 28, 2024
Jordan Gray
9 Ways To Improve Your Marriage Using Inversion Thinking
I’ve written before about cognitive biases, and today, I’m going to speak to a different one and help you use it to improve your marriage (or any romantic relationship you’re in). Us humans have what is commonly referred to as a 'negativity bias.' Which is a fancy way of saying that we’re better at...
Continue Reading
7 Ways Your Amazon Gift Cards Can Improve Your Love Life
Jan 14, 2017
Jordan Gray
7 Ways Your Amazon Gift Cards Can Improve Your Love Life
I received this letter from one of my coaching clients a few days ago, and I wanted to share my super-dense response with you here... "Hi Jordan. I was gifted several Amazon gift cards for Christmas and, being new to the Amazon/online-shopping-ecosphere, I was curious as to what you would...
Continue Reading