Mar 5, 2016

Your Life Is A Garden

Your life is a garden. And it needs constant attention.

Your garden needs water, sunlight, effort, and love in order to truly thrive.

If you treat your soil well then nutritious foods and beautiful flowers will be able to spring forth, or… you can treat your soil badly and it’ll feel like nothing ever really blooms or flourishes in your world.

Be mindful of who you allow to plant seeds in your soil. The wrong people can plant the wrong seeds and it can harm the quality of your garden in no time. If you aren’t mindful of who you allow into your garden, it can sometimes become unrecognizable in a matter of weeks.

Your deeply rooted beliefs are the thick tree trunks that seem impossible to remove. But it’s worth it to try.

Maybe someone once carved “You aren’t good enough” into the bark of one of the trees and it stares at you constantly, even when you aren’t looking in it’s direction. Remember, excavations are possible. It’ll be hard work, and you’ll work up a sweat trying to uproot it… you’ll likely want to give up out of sheer frustration… but there’s more sunshine when the trees are gone and the decaying leaves aren’t blocking all of the sunlight.

Be ruthless in pulling out the weeds from your garden. Remove whole plants regularly. It’s all up for questioning. Every single part of it. Nothing is sacred in your garden, other than what you deem to be.

Maybe you used to love roses, but now you’re kind of over roses and you want something a bit more unique. That’s fine. You’re allowed to change your mind.

Remember that no matter how beautiful and brilliant and awe-inspiring a certain floral display is, it will change. Usually much sooner than you want it to.

It will constantly be changing. The trick is to let go of the expectation that it will stay the same one day after the next, and loving it wholly when you stumble upon it’s marvellous, momentary beauty.

Above all else, remember that it’s your garden.

You get to do exactly what you want with it.

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
7 Signs You Should Break Up With Them
Apr 8, 2014
Jordan Gray
7 Signs You Should Break Up With Them
Is there anything more painful than the state of limbo that occurs when you're living in a relationship and you aren't sure whether or not you should end it? Did something change in the relationship? Maybe you're growing apart… or you're falling out of love… maybe you were never in love in the first...
Continue Reading
Why Nice Guys Should Finish Last
Jul 18, 2013
Jordan Gray
Why Nice Guys Should Finish Last
Let’s end this whole “nice guys” myth once and for all… The term “nice guy” has been thrown around in popular culture a lot lately.  A quote unquote “nice guy” is actually a first class manipulator. (I was going to link to an Urban Dictionary definition of a nice guy here, but I found out that they...
Continue Reading
King Warrior Magician Lover: How To Grow The 4 Masculine Archetypes
Mar 4, 2018
Jordan Gray
King Warrior Magician Lover: How To Grow The 4 Masculine Archetypes
Have you ever heard of the King, Warrior, Magician, and Lover archetypes? These four Jungian archetypes represent the four major components of what makes up any healthy, fully individuated mature masculine essence. In other words, to slide the fader further down the continuum from boy to man, these...
Continue Reading
5 Powerful Relationship Tools That Work Fast
Jun 18, 2025
Jordan Gray
5 Powerful Relationship Tools That Work Fast
Many people think that their relationship will improve when the big things in life change. When they move to a new house, make more money, or finally take that long-overdue vacation. Then, they tell themselves, they'll have the time and space to put more...
Continue Reading
How To Change Your Partner
Jul 22, 2014
Jordan Gray
How To Change Your Partner
One of the most common questions that I get asked by my clients is how they can encourage their partner to grow and develop as a person, while bringing up the subject from a loving place (as opposed to a challenging place that would make them think something was wrong with them). Whether you want...
Continue Reading
TIL Ep.9: Play Away Your Anxiety With Charlie Hoehn
Oct 1, 2017
Jordan Gray
TIL Ep.9: Play Away Your Anxiety With Charlie Hoehn
Today on The Intentional Life, I talk to someone who I’ve been looking to have on the show for well over a year. If you have ever identified as a workaholic… an over achiever… or someone who struggles with anxiety, I can not recommend this episode enough for you. His name is Charlie Hoehn. He’s a writer,...
Continue Reading