Feb 21, 2016

Do This One Thing To Make Any Relationship Thrive

When you were born, you had a unique way about you.

You spoke in a certain way. You admired others in a certain way. You picked up your food in a certain way.

No matter how much your parents, friends, culture, society, and peers tried to shape you into something other than what you were, your unique self has always been shining through in everything that you do.

No matter how much societally imposed persona gets piled up on top of who you were when you were born, your unique self will always still be there.

The way you look into any person’s eyes contains an element of your unique self. Even if your parents said not to stare. Or even if the marketing that surrounded you in your pre-teen years told you to add a bit of soft sexiness to your gaze.

The way that you write words on a page says something about your unique self. Even if you broke a bone in your arm while ice skating when you were younger. Or your third grade teacher taught you to sit up extra straight while writing by hand.

The way that you cuddle your partner says something about your unique self. The way that you hold a book says something about you. The way that you look at musicians playing their music says something about you.

You have your own unique way of being in this world. And so too does everyone you will ever meet.

So the secret to finding a lifelong love (in a friend, a partner, a business partner, or any sort of relationship) is to find someone who’s unique self you resonate with. If their soul was a song, find one that you would gladly listen to forever.

And to strengthen the foundation of your relationship, listen to, and really hear, the nuances of their unique song.

Remind them what their song sounds like when they have forgotten it momentarily. And sing it out loud with them when they have their lungs full of air and tears in their eyes.

Find your own unique self, amidst the societally imposed clutter, and embrace it. Love it. Cherish it.

And find a partner whose unique self you can respect, admire, and adore… up close, and from a distance… for the rest of your life.

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 18 years, with his work reaching over 250 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading a book, working out with his trainer, or spending time with his wife and son on the East Coast of the United States.

Blog

Related

See All
Your Lone Wolf Mentality Is Killing You
Aug 6, 2017
Jordan Gray
Your Lone Wolf Mentality Is Killing You
Do you consider yourself a lone wolf? If you do, I have a message for you... Our society is currently sick. People are feeling increasingly isolated and alone. Our sense of community has been eroded. We have been given the message that you have to look out for yourself, first and foremost....
Continue Reading
7 Things That Women Will Always Be Attracted To
Apr 22, 2014
Jordan Gray
7 Things That Women Will Always Be Attracted To
If there's one thing that I've learned in my career as a relationship coach it's that guys’ beliefs about what actually attracts women is pretty ass-backwards. Men have been raised with the false belief that they should always appear detached, cool and unemotional, 24/7, or risk being known in guy...
Continue Reading
5 Questions That Will Give You Depth In Conversation
Jul 29, 2013
Jordan Gray
5 Questions That Will Give You Depth In Conversation
The art of conversation is a dying one. People's attention spans have been hacked to pieces by billboards, smart phones, and endless digital pings… and deep conversation has been the primary casualty of our waning patience.  Which means (good news!) it's never been easier to stand out from others...
Continue Reading
The 60 Day Radical Self-Care Challenge
Jul 24, 2016
Jordan Gray
The 60 Day Radical Self-Care Challenge
Self-care is often seen as a self-indulgent luxury reserved for people with a high sense of self-importance, and that’s a problem. It's cool to be soooo busy. The societal narrative goes that it's impressive to not have enough time to rest, play, or sleep well. The word 'selfish' has been demonized. The...
Continue Reading
Life Is Short/Life Is Long
Nov 4, 2018
Jordan Gray
Life Is Short/Life Is Long
Life is short. And life is long. Both statements are true. I’ll prove it. Life Is Short You get about 27,000 days, give or take a few thousand, on average. That’s about 4,000 weeks. Just over 70 years. Sure, maybe we’ll make some kick...
Continue Reading
How To Get Better At Receiving Love (3 Tips)
May 2, 2017
Jordan Gray
How To Get Better At Receiving Love (3 Tips)
For the majority of people that I work with, receiving love is much more challenging than giving it. It’s easy to give a massage, or buy a gift, or plan a fancy date for your lover… But receiving an authentic compliment? Receiving an hour-long massage? Receiving focused sexual attention without feeling...
Continue Reading