Feb 21, 2016

Do This One Thing To Make Any Relationship Thrive

When you were born, you had a unique way about you.

You spoke in a certain way. You admired others in a certain way. You picked up your food in a certain way.

No matter how much your parents, friends, culture, society, and peers tried to shape you into something other than what you were, your unique self has always been shining through in everything that you do.

No matter how much societally imposed persona gets piled up on top of who you were when you were born, your unique self will always still be there.

The way you look into any person’s eyes contains an element of your unique self. Even if your parents said not to stare. Or even if the marketing that surrounded you in your pre-teen years told you to add a bit of soft sexiness to your gaze.

The way that you write words on a page says something about your unique self. Even if you broke a bone in your arm while ice skating when you were younger. Or your third grade teacher taught you to sit up extra straight while writing by hand.

The way that you cuddle your partner says something about your unique self. The way that you hold a book says something about you. The way that you look at musicians playing their music says something about you.

You have your own unique way of being in this world. And so too does everyone you will ever meet.

So the secret to finding a lifelong love (in a friend, a partner, a business partner, or any sort of relationship) is to find someone who’s unique self you resonate with. If their soul was a song, find one that you would gladly listen to forever.

And to strengthen the foundation of your relationship, listen to, and really hear, the nuances of their unique song.

Remind them what their song sounds like when they have forgotten it momentarily. And sing it out loud with them when they have their lungs full of air and tears in their eyes.

Find your own unique self, amidst the societally imposed clutter, and embrace it. Love it. Cherish it.

And find a partner whose unique self you can respect, admire, and adore… up close, and from a distance… for the rest of your life.

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
The Intentional Life Ep.3: Cultivating Body-Love with Elizabeth DiAlto
Jun 5, 2016
Jordan Gray
The Intentional Life Ep.3: Cultivating Body-Love with Elizabeth DiAlto
On today’s episode of The Intentional Life, I have Elizabeth DiAlto. Elizabeth works with people (primarily women) to help them to honour themselves, love their bodies, and reconnect to their feminine power. In this episode we tangent like crazy and cover a lot of really good ground. We deep dive into...
Continue Reading
8 Man Skills Every Man Should Know
Dec 15, 2019
Jordan Gray
8 Man Skills Every Man Should Know
Something I’ve learned from years in men’s work is that for most guys to really feel like men, they need to be initiated into manhood by a community of other guys, especially older ones. This is where they learn certain skills and ways of living. Most importantly, this initiatory process of...
Continue Reading
4 Bullshit Myths About Men
Sep 23, 2018
Jordan Gray
4 Bullshit Myths About Men
You know the old story… Men are sex obsessed, sports loving, money-providing, simple minded neanderthals… and women are talkative, career-tolerating, husband-seeking, baby-making machines. Stereotypes are super useful… if you’re a hack stand-up comedian. In the real world, stereotypes simply...
Continue Reading
The Benefits Of Entrepreneur / Entrepreneur Relationships
Oct 24, 2015
Jordan Gray
The Benefits Of Entrepreneur / Entrepreneur Relationships
I've written in the past about the best type of intimate partner for an entrepreneur, and things that driven people need in their love lives, but what about when both of the people in the relationship are entrepreneurs and/or self-employed? I get this question quite regularly so I thought I would...
Continue Reading
23 Highly Imperfect Things About Me
Aug 28, 2019
Jordan Gray
23 Highly Imperfect Things About Me
No matter how many times I remind people of how imperfect I am (link, link, link, link, link), I still receive regular projections about how I must be (cue Beyonce voice) *flawless*. So it seems that an annual reminder is a valuable exercise in allowing myself to be seen more fully. When you’re a public...
Continue Reading
5 Powerful Romantic Gestures They Will Remember Forever
Jul 14, 2015
Jordan Gray
5 Powerful Romantic Gestures They Will Remember Forever
Ever wanted to do something truly special for your partner? Maybe you’ve been around the block and you feel like you’ve done all there is to do. Maybe you’re an all-around superb intimate partner in a lot of ways. Maybe… just maybe… on occasion you’ve even managed to make your significant other...
Continue Reading