Aug 5, 2017

The Real Reason You're Disconnected From Your Body

Whether you numb yourself with work, alcohol, sex, drugs, constant social stimulation, sleeping 12+ hours a day, or anything else you use…

Whether you’re afraid to meditate, go to bed at night and be alone with your racing thoughts, sit still and breathe for a few minutes, or you’re constantly busying yourself with superficial distractions…

The underlying reason is the same.

You subconsciously choose to disconnect from your body because there’s pain you aren’t allowing yourself to face.

You are in a state of self-rejection… running away from the pain that it terrifies you to face into.

I work with a lot of type-A/entrepreneurial/over-achiever/chronic do-ers who have a tough time slowing down.

They have what I call superhero syndrome.

They want every area of their lives to be operating at a 10/10, 100% of the time.

Flawlessness. Perfection. Optimization. They want to do life “right.”

When what they really, deeply crave is quite the opposite.

They crave rest. Play. Surrender. Ease. Formlessness. Laughter.

So if you’re someone who is constantly running around, staying stuck in your head, and avoiding living in your body… then here’s your remedy.

Slow down for long enough to feel your feelings. Instead of running away from your pain, embrace it. Accept it. Tell it ‘you have a home here.’

It won’t always be easy to feel the pain you’ve run away from for so long, but it is a necessary step in your evolution.

In fact, the feverishness with which you have strived to live a perfectly optimized life is in direct proportion to how much pain you still have to feel your way through.

At first, it might feel like a tsunami of emotions are overtaking you. Let them. Reach out for, and accept, support from others, but know that your feelings are ultimately yours to feel.

Once you face them, I promise you that you will not drown in them. You will move through them with love, and then come out stronger on the other side. I have been there before. It is possible.

I believe in you.

Dedicated to your success,

Jordan

Ps. If you enjoyed this article, you will likely love checking out:

All Of Your Suffering Was Worth It

How To Fully Release Difficult Emotions That Hold You Back

How To Manage Stress (Or How I Weathered My Shit Storm Of A Year)

7 Simple Tips To Beat Anxiety Naturally

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
How I Met My Wife
May 20, 2022
Jordan Gray
How I Met My Wife
In October of 2017, a 24 year old university student, with two names that I wouldn't dare to try to pronounce upon reading them, hired me for a coaching session through my website. When we hopped on the call, she seemed to be someone who was wanting to break free from doing what she was told was the...
Continue Reading
101 Things I Love About My Wife
Nov 27, 2022
Jordan Gray
101 Things I Love About My Wife
Today is my wife's 30th birthday. Happy birthday Demetra! And so, to celebrate, aside from the usual presents and cards and cuddles (which she is also getting), I decided to write down some things that I love about her. If you've been following her work for any length of time, many of these...
Continue Reading
How Your Personal Boundaries Make Or Break Your Relationship
Dec 24, 2014
Jordan Gray
How Your Personal Boundaries Make Or Break Your Relationship
What are boundaries? A quick google search brings me to “Personal boundaries are guidelines, rules or limits that a person creates to identify for themselves what are reasonable, safe and permissible ways for other people to behave around him or her and how they will respond when someone steps outside...
Continue Reading
How To Not Feel Like Roommates
May 8, 2023
Jordan Gray
How To Not Feel Like Roommates
Over the last 15 years of working with people on their relationships full-time, one of the most common sets of questions I get is around 'How do I bring the spark back to my relationship that sometimes feels like we're just roommates with responsibilities?' And this is a valid question. As the...
Continue Reading
30 Pieces of Advice From 30 Couples Married 30+ Years
Dec 16, 2018
Jordan Gray
30 Pieces of Advice From 30 Couples Married 30+ Years
Ever wanted to hear from a trusted board of advisors on the topic of sustaining long-term love? Well, you’re in luck. I searched high and low to find thirty couples who had been happily married for over thirty years, and asked them what one piece of advice they would give to anyone who...
Continue Reading
5 Ways To Heal Your Childhood Trauma
Jul 1, 2017
Jordan Gray
5 Ways To Heal Your Childhood Trauma
Physical, sexual, and emotional traumas in childhood are all too common. Regardless of whether you were physically attacked, bullied, sexually assaulted, or chronically neglected, the pain of childhood trauma can sting for decades after the original incidents. Researchers have found that childhood...
Continue Reading