Aug 5, 2017

The Real Reason You're Disconnected From Your Body

Whether you numb yourself with work, alcohol, sex, drugs, constant social stimulation, sleeping 12+ hours a day, or anything else you use…

Whether you’re afraid to meditate, go to bed at night and be alone with your racing thoughts, sit still and breathe for a few minutes, or you’re constantly busying yourself with superficial distractions…

The underlying reason is the same.

You subconsciously choose to disconnect from your body because there’s pain you aren’t allowing yourself to face.

You are in a state of self-rejection… running away from the pain that it terrifies you to face into.

I work with a lot of type-A/entrepreneurial/over-achiever/chronic do-ers who have a tough time slowing down.

They have what I call superhero syndrome.

They want every area of their lives to be operating at a 10/10, 100% of the time.

Flawlessness. Perfection. Optimization. They want to do life “right.”

When what they really, deeply crave is quite the opposite.

They crave rest. Play. Surrender. Ease. Formlessness. Laughter.

So if you’re someone who is constantly running around, staying stuck in your head, and avoiding living in your body… then here’s your remedy.

Slow down for long enough to feel your feelings. Instead of running away from your pain, embrace it. Accept it. Tell it ‘you have a home here.’

It won’t always be easy to feel the pain you’ve run away from for so long, but it is a necessary step in your evolution.

In fact, the feverishness with which you have strived to live a perfectly optimized life is in direct proportion to how much pain you still have to feel your way through.

At first, it might feel like a tsunami of emotions are overtaking you. Let them. Reach out for, and accept, support from others, but know that your feelings are ultimately yours to feel.

Once you face them, I promise you that you will not drown in them. You will move through them with love, and then come out stronger on the other side. I have been there before. It is possible.

I believe in you.

Dedicated to your success,

Jordan

Ps. If you enjoyed this article, you will likely love checking out:

All Of Your Suffering Was Worth It

How To Fully Release Difficult Emotions That Hold You Back

How To Manage Stress (Or How I Weathered My Shit Storm Of A Year)

7 Simple Tips To Beat Anxiety Naturally

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
What Secrets Are Keeping You Sick?
Sep 22, 2018
Jordan Gray
What Secrets Are Keeping You Sick?
An often passed around quote in 12 step groups is “You’re only as sick as your secrets.” And I believe this to be true in the most literal sense. (My opinion aside, new research shows that keeping secrets has a significant negative impact on health and well-being) When...
Continue Reading
Wear The Sword Until You Can’t: A Life Philosophy
Feb 28, 2016
Jordan Gray
Wear The Sword Until You Can’t: A Life Philosophy
Once upon a time, in real life, there was a guy named William Penn. William was a Quaker and also a nobleman, which led to a lot of conflicts in his personal values. As you may know, Quakers are committed pacifists (they oppose war, violence, and militarism). A symbolic conflict for him was that he...
Continue Reading
This Is The One Thing You Always Have Control Over
Feb 21, 2016
Jordan Gray
This Is The One Thing You Always Have Control Over
We really can’t control much of anything in our funny little lives. We grasp for control. We grasp for meaning. We grasp for a semblance of purpose in everything that we do. In my opinion, there’s only one thing that we can ever truly control. And I’ll tell you what that is. But first, a story. My...
Continue Reading
4 Powerful Ways To Melt Their Heart
Jul 26, 2015
Jordan Gray
4 Powerful Ways To Melt Their Heart
Want to give your relationship an incredible boost? Want to melt their heart in a powerful way? You already know how to order flowers, get a gift card to the spa, go out to a fancy dinner, or do any of the other hundreds of suggestions a search engine could offer that would please your partner. What...
Continue Reading
How To Let Yourself Be Seen By Someone
Apr 4, 2015
Jordan Gray
How To Let Yourself Be Seen By Someone
Letting someone get close enough to hurt you is a terrifying concept for most people. But when you are offered an intimate relationship with someone who has the power, ability, and desire to go deep with you, it’s a shame to not be able to take advantage of that opportunity. Whether you’ve just...
Continue Reading
7 Popular Mistakes You Don’t Want To Make
Sep 24, 2025
Jordan Gray
7 Popular Mistakes You Don’t Want To Make
We all want to live a meaningful life, but most of us unknowingly carry blind spots that hold us back. And they don’t always look like “big”, punch-you-in-the-face-obvious mistakes. They usually show up as quiet, subtle defaults. Left unchecked (and unseen), these patterns inevitably rob us of growth,...
Continue Reading