Aug 5, 2017

The Real Reason You're Disconnected From Your Body

Whether you numb yourself with work, alcohol, sex, drugs, constant social stimulation, sleeping 12+ hours a day, or anything else you use…

Whether you’re afraid to meditate, go to bed at night and be alone with your racing thoughts, sit still and breathe for a few minutes, or you’re constantly busying yourself with superficial distractions…

The underlying reason is the same.

You subconsciously choose to disconnect from your body because there’s pain you aren’t allowing yourself to face.

You are in a state of self-rejection… running away from the pain that it terrifies you to face into.

I work with a lot of type-A/entrepreneurial/over-achiever/chronic do-ers who have a tough time slowing down.

They have what I call superhero syndrome.

They want every area of their lives to be operating at a 10/10, 100% of the time.

Flawlessness. Perfection. Optimization. They want to do life “right.”

When what they really, deeply crave is quite the opposite.

They crave rest. Play. Surrender. Ease. Formlessness. Laughter.

So if you’re someone who is constantly running around, staying stuck in your head, and avoiding living in your body… then here’s your remedy.

Slow down for long enough to feel your feelings. Instead of running away from your pain, embrace it. Accept it. Tell it ‘you have a home here.’

It won’t always be easy to feel the pain you’ve run away from for so long, but it is a necessary step in your evolution.

In fact, the feverishness with which you have strived to live a perfectly optimized life is in direct proportion to how much pain you still have to feel your way through.

At first, it might feel like a tsunami of emotions are overtaking you. Let them. Reach out for, and accept, support from others, but know that your feelings are ultimately yours to feel.

Once you face them, I promise you that you will not drown in them. You will move through them with love, and then come out stronger on the other side. I have been there before. It is possible.

I believe in you.

Dedicated to your success,

Jordan

Ps. If you enjoyed this article, you will likely love checking out:

All Of Your Suffering Was Worth It

How To Fully Release Difficult Emotions That Hold You Back

How To Manage Stress (Or How I Weathered My Shit Storm Of A Year)

7 Simple Tips To Beat Anxiety Naturally

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
Does Therapy Even Work?
Oct 20, 2018
Jordan Gray
Does Therapy Even Work?
Does therapy actually work or is it just a bunch of hoity-toity bullshit for rich people who want to complain to a stranger about their problems? Myths and stereotypes abound about talk-based therapy. People think that therapists ‘shrink’ heads. Or that therapy clients are simply ‘na...
Continue Reading
Take The Leap
Mar 2, 2013
Jordan Gray
Take The Leap
Take The Leap I am three hours away from leaving my hometown on a one-way ticket to Asia. My small carry-on, sitting in the corner of my bedroom, has been packed for weeks. I told my girlfriend that I had packed it because I was so excited to leave, but if I'm being honest with myself,...
Continue Reading
How To Change Your Partner
Jul 22, 2014
Jordan Gray
How To Change Your Partner
One of the most common questions that I get asked by my clients is how they can encourage their partner to grow and develop as a person, while bringing up the subject from a loving place (as opposed to a challenging place that would make them think something was wrong with them). Whether you want...
Continue Reading
What To Do When She Is Mad At You
Nov 5, 2013
Jordan Gray
What To Do When She Is Mad At You
Her arms are crossed. She’s stopped communicating with you entirely. She's reluctant to make eye contact with you… and when she does look your way, her gaze is hollow and icy. You rack your brain for what you could have done… What did you say? Did your flirty banter with that waitress over lunch go...
Continue Reading
How To Finally Get Over Your Ex (Even If It Feels Impossible)
Jun 2, 2014
Jordan Gray
How To Finally Get Over Your Ex (Even If It Feels Impossible)
Having trouble getting over your ex? Do you miss the way that they looked at you? The way that they smelled? The way their hand felt in yours? Do you think you see them walking down the street when really it's a stranger? Do you still hear certain music that reminds you of them? When someone...
Continue Reading
To The Perpetual Fence Sitters
Nov 17, 2018
Jordan Gray
To The Perpetual Fence Sitters
Here are three true short stories. About Tammy, Anna, and Joe.  (All names and any identifying details have been changed to protect identity.) Tammy Last week, a woman (who I will call Tammy) sent me a 1,000+ word email telling me about how she wanted...
Continue Reading