Aug 5, 2017

The Real Reason You're Disconnected From Your Body

Whether you numb yourself with work, alcohol, sex, drugs, constant social stimulation, sleeping 12+ hours a day, or anything else you use…

Whether you’re afraid to meditate, go to bed at night and be alone with your racing thoughts, sit still and breathe for a few minutes, or you’re constantly busying yourself with superficial distractions…

The underlying reason is the same.

You subconsciously choose to disconnect from your body because there’s pain you aren’t allowing yourself to face.

You are in a state of self-rejection… running away from the pain that it terrifies you to face into.

I work with a lot of type-A/entrepreneurial/over-achiever/chronic do-ers who have a tough time slowing down.

They have what I call superhero syndrome.

They want every area of their lives to be operating at a 10/10, 100% of the time.

Flawlessness. Perfection. Optimization. They want to do life “right.”

When what they really, deeply crave is quite the opposite.

They crave rest. Play. Surrender. Ease. Formlessness. Laughter.

So if you’re someone who is constantly running around, staying stuck in your head, and avoiding living in your body… then here’s your remedy.

Slow down for long enough to feel your feelings. Instead of running away from your pain, embrace it. Accept it. Tell it ‘you have a home here.’

It won’t always be easy to feel the pain you’ve run away from for so long, but it is a necessary step in your evolution.

In fact, the feverishness with which you have strived to live a perfectly optimized life is in direct proportion to how much pain you still have to feel your way through.

At first, it might feel like a tsunami of emotions are overtaking you. Let them. Reach out for, and accept, support from others, but know that your feelings are ultimately yours to feel.

Once you face them, I promise you that you will not drown in them. You will move through them with love, and then come out stronger on the other side. I have been there before. It is possible.

I believe in you.

Dedicated to your success,

Jordan

Ps. If you enjoyed this article, you will likely love checking out:

All Of Your Suffering Was Worth It

How To Fully Release Difficult Emotions That Hold You Back

How To Manage Stress (Or How I Weathered My Shit Storm Of A Year)

7 Simple Tips To Beat Anxiety Naturally

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
How To Develop Your Masculine Edge: 9 Steps To Becoming A Beast
Mar 25, 2017
Jordan Gray
How To Develop Your Masculine Edge: 9 Steps To Becoming A Beast
Are you looking to develop your masculine edge? Do you sometimes feel like you lack passion, fire, or courage in your life? Do you find yourself feeling lacklustre, being boring, or overly nice? Do you find it difficult to stay motivated in your career path, attract romantic partners that you're deeply...
Continue Reading
7 Things I Want You To Remember If I Die Young
Nov 10, 2018
Jordan Gray
7 Things I Want You To Remember If I Die Young
I’ve lost two close friends over the past few years. One was 25 years old, the other was 30. And, without hyperbole or rose-coloured glasses on my face, I can easily say that they were both some of the best people I have ever known. The kind of people that make me think ‘Only the good die young’...
Continue Reading
4 Relationship Rules To Live By
Sep 9, 2014
Jordan Gray
4 Relationship Rules To Live By
After years of self-reflection, I truly feel like I’ve found the holy grail of relationship mindset. These four rules encapsulate so much of what I believe to be true in relationships (intimate or otherwise) that I wanted to refine them into their simplest possible form before I made them public. Well,...
Continue Reading
'Why Am I Still Single?' 5 Reasons + What To Do About It
Jul 19, 2023
Jordan Gray
‘Why Am I Still Single?’ 5 Reasons + What To Do About It
One of the most common questions that I get from people sounds something like… “I’ve been single for so long even though I deeply want a relationship. What gives?” Over the last 15+ years of working with thousands of clients, I’ve noticed some patterns. Here are five reasons that people stay single...
Continue Reading
Why I Will Never Be A Matchmaker
Mar 9, 2024
Jordan Gray
Why I Will Never Be A Matchmaker
On a weekly basis, for the last 15 or so years, I have had someone ask me some version of: "Can you just introduce me to a healthy partner / Can you start a matchmaking service so that I can meet the people that follow your work?" Literally, every week. Here's the thing... We've all...
Continue Reading
Fire: A Meditation
Jan 4, 2019
Jordan Gray
Fire: A Meditation
All of my life, I have loved tending to fires. When I was a little boy, one of my grandparents owned a small cabin a couple hours drive from my hometown. In this cabin, there was a wood burning fireplace. When I was around the age of six, my dad taught me how to set up a proper fire, and I was immediately...
Continue Reading