Aug 5, 2017

The Real Reason You're Disconnected From Your Body

Whether you numb yourself with work, alcohol, sex, drugs, constant social stimulation, sleeping 12+ hours a day, or anything else you use…

Whether you’re afraid to meditate, go to bed at night and be alone with your racing thoughts, sit still and breathe for a few minutes, or you’re constantly busying yourself with superficial distractions…

The underlying reason is the same.

You subconsciously choose to disconnect from your body because there’s pain you aren’t allowing yourself to face.

You are in a state of self-rejection… running away from the pain that it terrifies you to face into.

I work with a lot of type-A/entrepreneurial/over-achiever/chronic do-ers who have a tough time slowing down.

They have what I call superhero syndrome.

They want every area of their lives to be operating at a 10/10, 100% of the time.

Flawlessness. Perfection. Optimization. They want to do life “right.”

When what they really, deeply crave is quite the opposite.

They crave rest. Play. Surrender. Ease. Formlessness. Laughter.

So if you’re someone who is constantly running around, staying stuck in your head, and avoiding living in your body… then here’s your remedy.

Slow down for long enough to feel your feelings. Instead of running away from your pain, embrace it. Accept it. Tell it ‘you have a home here.’

It won’t always be easy to feel the pain you’ve run away from for so long, but it is a necessary step in your evolution.

In fact, the feverishness with which you have strived to live a perfectly optimized life is in direct proportion to how much pain you still have to feel your way through.

At first, it might feel like a tsunami of emotions are overtaking you. Let them. Reach out for, and accept, support from others, but know that your feelings are ultimately yours to feel.

Once you face them, I promise you that you will not drown in them. You will move through them with love, and then come out stronger on the other side. I have been there before. It is possible.

I believe in you.

Dedicated to your success,

Jordan

Ps. If you enjoyed this article, you will likely love checking out:

All Of Your Suffering Was Worth It

How To Fully Release Difficult Emotions That Hold You Back

How To Manage Stress (Or How I Weathered My Shit Storm Of A Year)

7 Simple Tips To Beat Anxiety Naturally

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
7 Things That Women Will Always Be Attracted To
Apr 22, 2014
Jordan Gray
7 Things That Women Will Always Be Attracted To
If there's one thing that I've learned in my career as a relationship coach it's that guys’ beliefs about what actually attracts women is pretty ass-backwards. Men have been raised with the false belief that they should always appear detached, cool and unemotional, 24/7, or risk being known in guy...
Continue Reading
How To Get Your Social Needs Met While Social Distancing
Mar 19, 2020
Jordan Gray
How To Get Your Social Needs Met While Social Distancing
SO! There’s a worldwide pandemic and your local government has told you to engage in social distancing for an unknown amount of time and you want to NOT go crazy? I’ve got you covered. We humans are a social species. In other words, we need each other in order to thrive. And not knowing how long we’ll...
Continue Reading
How To Stop Hating Men
Jan 28, 2020
Jordan Gray
How To Stop Hating Men
(Note: this is a companion piece to my recent article How To Stop Hating Women. I also write the following article primarily directed at heterosexual women, since that demographic makes up the majority of my readership.) One of the most challenging, and often invisible, themes that keep people...
Continue Reading
The One Thing To Remember When You’re Dealing With Any Person, Ever
Oct 4, 2015
Jordan Gray
The One Thing To Remember When You’re Dealing With Any Person, Ever
There’s a coffee shop down the street from where I live that I frequently go to get some writing done in the morning. I went there a few days ago and something strange happened. The barista behind the counter was the same one I interacted with almost every time that I came in. We were on a first name...
Continue Reading
How To Ease Into Love When Love Terrifies You
Nov 10, 2014
Jordan Gray
How To Ease Into Love When Love Terrifies You
“The world will break your heart ten ways to Sunday. That’s guaranteed.” - Bradley Cooper in Silver Linings Playbook We all suffer tragedies in life. Break ups, abandonments, lost loved ones, and countless other bumps and bruises will take their toll on our hearts as we live. It’s so tempting...
Continue Reading
The 4 Biggest Things I Wish I Had Been Taught In School
Jan 15, 2017
Jordan Gray
The 4 Biggest Things I Wish I Had Been Taught In School
In high school, I was a piss poor student. Upon entering high school I could immediately tell that this was not the game that I was going to win in life. Some kids got straight A’s... and I could tell that I wasn’t going to be one of those kids. I invested as little energy as I could into my school...
Continue Reading