May 21, 2016

Forget The Noise - Here’s Who You Really Are

Your weight. Your height. Your eye colour.

Your income. Your job title. The car you drive.

Your wrinkles. Your fat. Your cellulite. Your bra size. Your penis length. Your hairline. Anything and everything that you obsess about when you look in the mirror.

It’s all noise.

All of those things don’t mean a whole lot to anyone who really matters in your life.

No matter your bank balance… or who you are in the world… or what you look like…

You are you because of your heart.

You are you because of your unique essence.

You are you because of the specific ways that you show up in the world that don’t match up to anyone else’s way of being.

You are loveable and valuable, simply because you exist.

You will be loveable and valuable even if you lose your hair and gain weight.

You will be loveable and valuable even if you lose your important sounding job.

You will be loveable and valuable even if you make a mistake that feels out of integrity sometimes.

You will be loveable and valuable even if you try making a run at your dream job and it takes longer than you think it should be taking.

You will be loveable and valuable even if all you do today is smile at a stranger while you walk past them. You’ll also be loveable and valuable if you’re in such an awful mood that you can barely look up at anyone to make eye contact.

For the love of all that is good with the world, please don’t buy into the societally-reinforced noise that tells you that you need to be slimmer, stronger, sexier, richer, or better dressed in order to be loveable, worthwhile, or valuable as a human being.

You are loveable as you currently are, and that will never change.

You. Are. Loved.

And you will be loved, and deserving of love, at every stage of your journey.

I promise.

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
5 Things I Had To Overcome To Find My Dream Woman
Jan 5, 2015
Jordan Gray
5 Things I Had To Overcome To Find My Dream Woman
I set out to make 2014 the year that I worked through the deepest roots of my emotional turmoil. Due to a combination of childhood bullying and depression, and a rather emotionally devastating break up in my early twenties, I feared letting people get close to me in intimate relationships for the...
Continue Reading
6 Money Arguments Couples Have (And How To Resolve Them)
Dec 10, 2019
Jordan Gray
6 Money Arguments Couples Have (And How To Resolve Them)
A few years ago, a reader pointed out to me that I didn't write about money enough. "Seeing as money is the #1 thing that couples fight about, it's interesting to me that you don't write about it more often." And they were right! So, I decided that I am going to be talking about money...
Continue Reading
How To Get Rid Of Your Repressed Anger
Nov 6, 2016
Jordan Gray
How To Get Rid Of Your Repressed Anger
Left unprocessed, repressed anger will wreak havoc on your happiness, your relationships, and your overall life. "But I'm not an angry person. I never get angry!", say most people everywhere. If you found your way to this article, there's some repressed anger buried somewhere deep inside of you. And...
Continue Reading
20 Amazing Books I Have Been Recommending To Everyone Lately
Aug 12, 2018
Jordan Gray
20 Amazing Books I Have Been Recommending To Everyone Lately
If you follow my writing, that means that we are probably similar people in one or multiple significant ways (in other words, there's a good degree of probability that we have identical or similar neuroses). People ask me for book recommendations all the time. So today, I'm going to pass along a few...
Continue Reading
The Most Important Thing About Getting Into A Relationship
Sep 16, 2014
Jordan Gray
The Most Important Thing About Getting Into A Relationship
If there’s one thing I’ve learned about what makes a new relationship work or not, it’s the following… Ask yourself this question to know whether or not you should be dating the person you are and your entire life will benefit. Do you feel compelled or do you feel cornered? So...
Continue Reading
Your Value Is Not Your Body
Jun 27, 2017
Jordan Gray
Your Value Is Not Your Body
Your value is not your body. Your value is not tied in to how well you make love. Your value is not your gorgeous ass, or your perfect lips, or your perfect hair. Your value is not your fancy adornments, or biceps, or the lack of or presence of a thigh gap. Your value is not in your weight, shape,...
Continue Reading