May 21, 2016

Forget The Noise - Here’s Who You Really Are

Your weight. Your height. Your eye colour.

Your income. Your job title. The car you drive.

Your wrinkles. Your fat. Your cellulite. Your bra size. Your penis length. Your hairline. Anything and everything that you obsess about when you look in the mirror.

It’s all noise.

All of those things don’t mean a whole lot to anyone who really matters in your life.

No matter your bank balance… or who you are in the world… or what you look like…

You are you because of your heart.

You are you because of your unique essence.

You are you because of the specific ways that you show up in the world that don’t match up to anyone else’s way of being.

You are loveable and valuable, simply because you exist.

You will be loveable and valuable even if you lose your hair and gain weight.

You will be loveable and valuable even if you lose your important sounding job.

You will be loveable and valuable even if you make a mistake that feels out of integrity sometimes.

You will be loveable and valuable even if you try making a run at your dream job and it takes longer than you think it should be taking.

You will be loveable and valuable even if all you do today is smile at a stranger while you walk past them. You’ll also be loveable and valuable if you’re in such an awful mood that you can barely look up at anyone to make eye contact.

For the love of all that is good with the world, please don’t buy into the societally-reinforced noise that tells you that you need to be slimmer, stronger, sexier, richer, or better dressed in order to be loveable, worthwhile, or valuable as a human being.

You are loveable as you currently are, and that will never change.

You. Are. Loved.

And you will be loved, and deserving of love, at every stage of your journey.

I promise.

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
11 Ways To Be A More Attractive Man (or How To Fight Entropy 101)
Sep 29, 2018
Jordan Gray
11 Ways To Be A More Attractive Man (or How To Fight Entropy 101)
You know what I’m really tired of? Articles that promise the fastest, easiest, lowest-barrier-to-entry bullshit tips on how men can improve themselves. Since when are we all after the quick and easy silver bullet? Have we collectively become that lazy as a society that we’re all perpetually...
Continue Reading
3 Ways To Set Up Your Single Life For Success In Dating
Jun 16, 2014
Jordan Gray
3 Ways To Set Up Your Single Life For Success In Dating
It's all too easy to blindly fumble around from dysfunctional relationship to dysfunctional relationship. But does that mean that that's your only option? There are things that you can do in the space between your relationships that will set you up for success in your love life. Miss these, and...
Continue Reading
Fire: A Meditation
Jan 4, 2019
Jordan Gray
Fire: A Meditation
All of my life, I have loved tending to fires. When I was a little boy, one of my grandparents owned a small cabin a couple hours drive from my hometown. In this cabin, there was a wood burning fireplace. When I was around the age of six, my dad taught me how to set up a proper fire, and I was immediately...
Continue Reading
10 Ways To Keep The Sexual Spark Alive In A Long Term Relationship
Nov 12, 2019
Jordan Gray
10 Ways To Keep The Sexual Spark Alive In A Long Term Relationship
"How do I keep the sexual spark and passion alive in my relationship?" This is one of the most asked questions by couples who've passed the first-year milestone. When they started dating, there was an automatic flurry of sexual sparks. They fucked like bunnies - every night, and every morning....
Continue Reading
5 Types Of Compliments That Melt A Man’s Heart
Feb 11, 2024
Jordan Gray
5 Types Of Compliments That Melt A Man’s Heart
Men need compliments too. And yet, most men were more-likely-than-not raised in a way where they were fairly compliment starved. Think about it... It's easy to imagine a woman complimenting another woman. It's also easy to imagine a man complimenting a woman. But when we do an honest audit...
Continue Reading
7 Ways To Increase Your Value In The Dating Market
May 5, 2019
Jordan Gray
7 Ways To Increase Your Value In The Dating Market
(Trigger warning for people who fear hard truths, self-responsibility, and tough love.) Allllllllright… I just got a reader email that made my blood boil. So this is going to be a rant. But don’t worry… it’ll be a valuable rant. Here we go. This email (from Laurie in San Diego, CA) landed...
Continue Reading