May 21, 2016

Forget The Noise - Here’s Who You Really Are

Your weight. Your height. Your eye colour.

Your income. Your job title. The car you drive.

Your wrinkles. Your fat. Your cellulite. Your bra size. Your penis length. Your hairline. Anything and everything that you obsess about when you look in the mirror.

It’s all noise.

All of those things don’t mean a whole lot to anyone who really matters in your life.

No matter your bank balance… or who you are in the world… or what you look like…

You are you because of your heart.

You are you because of your unique essence.

You are you because of the specific ways that you show up in the world that don’t match up to anyone else’s way of being.

You are loveable and valuable, simply because you exist.

You will be loveable and valuable even if you lose your hair and gain weight.

You will be loveable and valuable even if you lose your important sounding job.

You will be loveable and valuable even if you make a mistake that feels out of integrity sometimes.

You will be loveable and valuable even if you try making a run at your dream job and it takes longer than you think it should be taking.

You will be loveable and valuable even if all you do today is smile at a stranger while you walk past them. You’ll also be loveable and valuable if you’re in such an awful mood that you can barely look up at anyone to make eye contact.

For the love of all that is good with the world, please don’t buy into the societally-reinforced noise that tells you that you need to be slimmer, stronger, sexier, richer, or better dressed in order to be loveable, worthwhile, or valuable as a human being.

You are loveable as you currently are, and that will never change.

You. Are. Loved.

And you will be loved, and deserving of love, at every stage of your journey.

I promise.

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
11 Ways To Be A More Attractive Man (or How To Fight Entropy 101)
Sep 29, 2018
Jordan Gray
11 Ways To Be A More Attractive Man (or How To Fight Entropy 101)
You know what I’m really tired of? Articles that promise the fastest, easiest, lowest-barrier-to-entry bullshit tips on how men can improve themselves. Since when are we all after the quick and easy silver bullet? Have we collectively become that lazy as a society that we’re all perpetually...
Continue Reading
The Intentional Life Ep.2: Radical Self-Love with Kelsey Grant
May 23, 2016
Jordan Gray
The Intentional Life Ep.2: Radical Self-Love with Kelsey Grant
Today on The Intentional Life, I have amazing-badass-superwoman, and one of my personal coaches over the last two years, Kelsey Grant. Kelsey is a love and relationship educator with her teachings rooted in a radical self love methodology. Simply put, she's a self-love coach. And a hell of a good...
Continue Reading
How To Heal Your Most Debilitating Core Wounds
Sep 24, 2017
Jordan Gray
How To Heal Your Most Debilitating Core Wounds
"I am a burden and a mistake." "All love that is offered to me is fragile and a lie." "Everyone I love secretly hates me and wants me to kill myself." These are the beliefs that dominated me for the majority of my life. I am the youngest of three children in my family. From...
Continue Reading
How To Stop Being So Damn Hard On Yourself
Feb 3, 2014
Jordan Gray
How To Stop Being So Damn Hard On Yourself
You are your own worst critic. You are too hard on yourself, it isn't helping you, and the constant negative self-talk weighs heavily on your self-esteem. If these words resonate with you, you may be practicing a lack of self-compassion. Self-compassion is the act of extending kind and loving...
Continue Reading
Let Go Of Being At War With Yourself
Nov 11, 2018
Jordan Gray
Let Go Of Being At War With Yourself
If you ever have a difficult time receiving compliments… If you have a difficult time understanding why people like you, or are drawn to you… If you have a hundred excuses on the tip of your tongue as to why you can’t do the work you love, find your dream partner, or live a life that...
Continue Reading
7 Popular Mistakes You Don’t Want To Make
Sep 24, 2025
Jordan Gray
7 Popular Mistakes You Don’t Want To Make
We all want to live a meaningful life, but most of us unknowingly carry blind spots that hold us back. And they don’t always look like “big”, punch-you-in-the-face-obvious mistakes. They usually show up as quiet, subtle defaults. Left unchecked (and unseen), these patterns inevitably rob us of growth,...
Continue Reading