May 21, 2016

Forget The Noise - Here’s Who You Really Are

Your weight. Your height. Your eye colour.

Your income. Your job title. The car you drive.

Your wrinkles. Your fat. Your cellulite. Your bra size. Your penis length. Your hairline. Anything and everything that you obsess about when you look in the mirror.

It’s all noise.

All of those things don’t mean a whole lot to anyone who really matters in your life.

No matter your bank balance… or who you are in the world… or what you look like…

You are you because of your heart.

You are you because of your unique essence.

You are you because of the specific ways that you show up in the world that don’t match up to anyone else’s way of being.

You are loveable and valuable, simply because you exist.

You will be loveable and valuable even if you lose your hair and gain weight.

You will be loveable and valuable even if you lose your important sounding job.

You will be loveable and valuable even if you make a mistake that feels out of integrity sometimes.

You will be loveable and valuable even if you try making a run at your dream job and it takes longer than you think it should be taking.

You will be loveable and valuable even if all you do today is smile at a stranger while you walk past them. You’ll also be loveable and valuable if you’re in such an awful mood that you can barely look up at anyone to make eye contact.

For the love of all that is good with the world, please don’t buy into the societally-reinforced noise that tells you that you need to be slimmer, stronger, sexier, richer, or better dressed in order to be loveable, worthwhile, or valuable as a human being.

You are loveable as you currently are, and that will never change.

You. Are. Loved.

And you will be loved, and deserving of love, at every stage of your journey.

I promise.

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
Why You Should Have A Morning Routine
Apr 12, 2016
Jordan Gray
Why You Should Have A Morning Routine
Do you have a morning routine? Some of the most successful, productive, grounded, and happy people I've ever had the pleasure of meeting have morning routines that they regularly turn to in order to start their days off on the right foot. The biggest difference I have noticed my morning routine make...
Continue Reading
Understanding The True Nature Of Jealousy
Nov 11, 2016
Jordan Gray
Understanding The True Nature Of Jealousy
Jealousy can be one of your most profound teachers, if you allow it to be. I get several emails every week from people who are trying to navigate their jealousy, and hitting a road block. I find it to be one of the most commonly misunderstood emotional responses in relationships. Jealousy, like anger,...
Continue Reading
Wear The Sword Until You Can’t: A Life Philosophy
Feb 28, 2016
Jordan Gray
Wear The Sword Until You Can’t: A Life Philosophy
Once upon a time, in real life, there was a guy named William Penn. William was a Quaker and also a nobleman, which led to a lot of conflicts in his personal values. As you may know, Quakers are committed pacifists (they oppose war, violence, and militarism). A symbolic conflict for him was that he...
Continue Reading
7 Popular Mistakes You Don’t Want To Make
Sep 24, 2025
Jordan Gray
7 Popular Mistakes You Don’t Want To Make
We all want to live a meaningful life, but most of us unknowingly carry blind spots that hold us back. And they don’t always look like “big”, punch-you-in-the-face-obvious mistakes. They usually show up as quiet, subtle defaults. Left unchecked (and unseen), these patterns inevitably rob us of growth,...
Continue Reading
How To Finally Get Over Your Ex (Even If It Feels Impossible)
Jun 2, 2014
Jordan Gray
How To Finally Get Over Your Ex (Even If It Feels Impossible)
Having trouble getting over your ex? Do you miss the way that they looked at you? The way that they smelled? The way their hand felt in yours? Do you think you see them walking down the street when really it's a stranger? Do you still hear certain music that reminds you of them? When someone...
Continue Reading
4 Ways To Be More Fully Alive
Feb 24, 2018
Jordan Gray
4 Ways To Be More Fully Alive
Here is an unfortunate, but devastatingly truthful fact: Most people in modern day developed nations are numbed out, half-asleep, and living lives of quiet despair. They are disconnected from their bodies, glued to their digital devices, and have little to no social contact of any depth or emotional...
Continue Reading