Aug 19, 2017

Get Off The Hamster Wheel Before It Throws You Off

I was talking to a new client a few days ago who was at his whit’s end…

He was exhausted. Burnt out. Tired all the time.

His energy levels were shot. His neck and shoulders were always tense. He wasn’t digesting with ease. His body was upset with him.

He told me that he hadn’t felt truly happy in years. He felt like his life was drudgery… and he needed to find a way out.

I’ll tell you now what I told him…

You are a human being… not a human doing.

Running your life at this pace will inevitably burn you out. And if you don’t step off of the proverbial hamster wheel soon (aka NOW), then life will find a way to throw you off of it.

There’s some part of you that feels like you are only worth what you achieve in the world. You think you ARE your accomplishments… your productivity… your bank account.

This is backwards.

Your worth is not exclusively dependent on what you produce for the world.

Yes, you bring value to the world in this way…

AND who you are, at your core, is also loveable and valuable as it is. Even when you aren’t DOING anything.

I have summarized the antidote to this gotta-be-productive, gotta-prove-myself-constantly mindset in the five following points. Follow them closely.

1. Be unproductive. Be lazy. In essence, stop DOING so much.

Occasionally embrace your inner Cheetoh-dust-fingered-20-year-old.

2. Play more.

Whatever registers as play to you, do more of that. Bonus points for something that is outdoors, forces you to move your body, has a social element to it, has nothing to do with work, and (ideally) something that you can’t track.

Less tracking, growing, and optimizing… more play, ease, and flow.

3. Prioritize rest/recovery/your body/spaciousness in your life above all else.

Do less stuff. Say no more often to things.

Cut your calendar/scheduled time commitments in half.

4. Take a full week off, and be by yourself with no tech.

Take some time to yourself with no distractions or obligations.

Sit in nature a lot.

Feel whatever emotions rise up within you in that under-stimulated environment. And trust me, there will be some. Feel them all fully.

5. Invest in your local community. Be loved for who you are.

Make offline friends who love, see, and adore you for WHO YOU ARE, not what you do/achieve/accomplish. See them regularly.

Show them your heart. Be open, honest, and vulnerable with them. If they treat you well and love you for who you are, quadruple down on your relationship with them. Love them hard.

In short, stop doing so much, and start relaxing into your being-ness more often.

Dedicated to your success,

Jordan

Blog

Related

See All
Seasonal Affective Disorder: 5 Tips To Prevent It Completely
Oct 22, 2017
Jordan Gray
Seasonal Affective Disorder: 5 Tips To Prevent It Completely
I had a reader question come in a few days ago that I found interesting enough to respond to in full, and I've decided to share it publicly so that others may benefit. - "Hey Jordan, I suffer from seasonal affective disorder. I live in the Pacific Northwest and I definitely feel the...
Continue Reading
7 Greatest Health Hacks Under $100
Jul 10, 2018
Jordan Gray
7 Greatest Health Hacks Under $100
To radically improve your health, you don't have to spend thousands of dollars on exercise machines and exotic supplements. Feeling better and brighter every day comes down to utilizing a few basic tools.  The available options for diets, workout plans, and contradictory health tips are an endless sea....
Continue Reading
The 5 Best Things To Do When You're Hurting
Dec 3, 2015
Jordan Gray
The 5 Best Things To Do When You’re Hurting
We all hurt sometimes. Maybe you went through a painful breakup recently. Or you lost someone close to you. Or you're just in a funk lately and feel like busting out of it (even if only for a couple of hours). These are my five go-to activities whenever I want to feel better. They're simple, and...
Continue Reading
How Making Mistakes Gets You Ahead In Life
May 9, 2013
Jordan Gray
How Making Mistakes Gets You Ahead In Life
Are you worried that you are messing up a lot in your life? One of the most common concerns that I get from my clients is that they feel like they are failing. They feel like they are failing in life… in their careers… and in their relationships. If you sometimes feel this way, then you are exactly...
Continue Reading
7 Powerful Trust Exercises For Couples
Nov 23, 2015
Jordan Gray
7 Powerful Trust Exercises For Couples
We all know that trust is a fundamental component of every healthy intimate relationship. But what is trust exactly? In the context of relationships, I define trust as having an underlying belief in the reliability and consistency of someone. So, for example, if you and your...
Continue Reading
Jordan’s Top 7 Books On Sex And Relationships
Oct 29, 2014
Jordan Gray
Jordan’s Top 7 Books On Sex And Relationships
Every week, people ask me what books I would recommend for them to further their understanding of sex and relationships. Having been someone that has been self-educating on sex, psychology, and relationships for the past decade, and having read hundreds of books on the subject, I feel fairly qualified...
Continue Reading