I was talking to a new client a few days ago who was at his whit’s end…
He was exhausted. Burnt out. Tired all the time.
His energy levels were shot. His neck and shoulders were always tense. He wasn’t digesting with ease. His body was upset with him.
He told me that he hadn’t felt truly happy in years. He felt like his life was drudgery… and he needed to find a way out.
I’ll tell you now what I told him…
You are a human being… not a human doing.
Running your life at this pace will inevitably burn you out. And if you don’t step off of the proverbial hamster wheel soon (aka NOW), then life will find a way to throw you off of it.
There’s some part of you that feels like you are only worth what you achieve in the world. You think you ARE your accomplishments… your productivity… your bank account.
This is backwards.
Your worth is not exclusively dependent on what you produce for the world.
Yes, you bring value to the world in this way…
AND who you are, at your core, is also loveable and valuable as it is. Even when you aren’t DOING anything.
I have summarized the antidote to this gotta-be-productive, gotta-prove-myself-constantly mindset in the five following points. Follow them closely.
1. Be unproductive. Be lazy. In essence, stop DOING so much.
Occasionally embrace your inner Cheetoh-dust-fingered-20-year-old.
2. Play more.
Whatever registers as play to you, do more of that. Bonus points for something that is outdoors, forces you to move your body, has a social element to it, has nothing to do with work, and (ideally) something that you can’t track.
Less tracking, growing, and optimizing… more play, ease, and flow.
3. Prioritize rest/recovery/your body/spaciousness in your life above all else.
Do less stuff. Say no more often to things.
Cut your calendar/scheduled time commitments in half.
4. Take a full week off, and be by yourself with no tech.
Take some time to yourself with no distractions or obligations.
Sit in nature a lot.
Feel whatever emotions rise up within you in that under-stimulated environment. And trust me, there will be some. Feel them all fully.
5. Invest in your local community. Be loved for who you are.
Make offline friends who love, see, and adore you for WHO YOU ARE, not what you do/achieve/accomplish. See them regularly.
Show them your heart. Be open, honest, and vulnerable with them. If they treat you well and love you for who you are, quadruple down on your relationship with them. Love them hard.
In short, stop doing so much, and start relaxing into your being-ness more often.
Dedicated to your success,