Oct 1, 2013

How To Know If Your Relationship Has Potential

You’re a few months (or years) into your relationship and you’re wondering whether or not this particular pairing has potential.

You feel like you’ve wasted time with past partners and you don’t want to make the same mistake again.

Well, you’re in luck.

Having counselled hundreds of people over the past decade and having interviewed dozens of successful long-term marriages in preparation for my next book, I have amassed a large sampling of information regarding the early signs indicating a potentially perfect match.

By determining the potential in your connection early on, you could save yourself from wasting time in unfulfilling relationships.

Here are some pointers to help you decide whether or not your relationship has potential.

1. You Don’t Feel The Need To Pretend

In the first few months of dating a new partner, it’s common to hide behind social masks. You’re both on your best behaviour.

“I shouldn’t call her for at least two days. Otherwise, she’ll think I’m too available.”

“I can’t sleep with him until after the third date. Unless I wait, he’ll think I’m easy.”

“She didn’t text me back fast enough so I’m going to ignore her for a few days.”

OH MY GOD, STOP!

Arbitrary dating games don’t serve you and you know it. Being playful, spontaneous, and challenging are great qualities in a romantic partner.

But playing hard to get will just make you hard to love.

In a relationship that has potential, you realize that you don’t need to hide behind social masks.

You don’t have to fake who you are in order for your partner to like you.  In fact, being yourself has never been easier.

You both bring out and encourage the best versions of each other with ease.

You feel like you, and quite likely, the best version of you that you’ve been in a very long time.

HappyCouple

2. You Do The Things Everyone Tells You Not To Do

There are tons of relationship no-no’s that common sense tells you to avoid in the courting process. But this relationship is different.

At the end of the first month, you’ve found yourself wanting to say that you love them. You want to introduce them to your parents “too quickly.” You’ve made plans for the two of you six months from now without a second thought.

No matter what your friends, family, and media tell you is the “right” amount of time to engage in commitment-y behaviour, you found yourself breaking all the rules- often without guilt or any weirdness.

Take this as a sign. This one’s a keeper.

3. Everything Is Different

The sex, the conversational chemistry, the ease with which you established a deep connection with each other… for some reason, everything about this relationship feels different.

She’s the first girl that you want to proudly show off to your parents and friends. He puts all of your past relationships in his shadow. You now realize why all of your exes are your exes.

Maybe committing to someone used to seem downright terrifying, but now you’re practically picking out names for your future children in your mind.

Maybe this whole “one person forever” concept isn’t too scary after all!

Still Not Sure If Your Relationship Has Potential?

If you still find yourself uncertain after reading these tips, you might need to stop thinking and start feeling.

Your emotions know better than your mind when it comes to love.

Dedicated to your success,

Jordan

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
What You Can Learn About Love From Watching 'The Bachelor'
Mar 5, 2014
Jordan Gray
What You Can Learn About Love From Watching ‘The Bachelor’
People are inherently lazy. We want to do as little as possible for the promise of maximum results achieved. Work out once a week and get ripped. Get rich while you sleep. Find your dream partner in a day. And while all of these things are certainly possible, they tend to require an initial...
Continue Reading
How Not Showing Interest On The First Date Is Killing Your Love Life
Jun 10, 2013
Jordan Gray
How Not Showing Interest On The First Date Is Killing Your Love Life
Contrary to popular belief, 'playing it cool' severely limits your love life. There are thousands of forums out there that perpetuate this thought - bitter men discussing how being 'open, honest and nice' doesn't pay off. But there is a big difference between showing interest in an attractive way...
Continue Reading
A 23 Point Love Contract To Bulletproof Your Relationship
May 3, 2015
Jordan Gray
A 23 Point Love Contract To Bulletproof Your Relationship
Want to strengthen your relationship? Print out the following words and sign it with your partner. - Dear (THE NAME OF YOUR PARTNER), I promise to be gentle with you and your heart. I promise to allow you to have access to my heart. I promise to tell you the full truth even when it’s sometimes scary...
Continue Reading
5 Ways Your Cell Phone Can Improve Your Relationship
Apr 19, 2015
Jordan Gray
5 Ways Your Cell Phone Can Improve Your Relationship
Cell phones get a lot of flack when it comes to how we interact with each other in our relationships. But technology is a neutral entity. It’s how we use our phones that matters. Yes, if you text each other more than you talk face to face, you can experience pain in your relationship. But if you harness...
Continue Reading
Why I Will Never Be A Matchmaker
Mar 9, 2024
Jordan Gray
Why I Will Never Be A Matchmaker
On a weekly basis, for the last 15 or so years, I have had someone ask me some version of: "Can you just introduce me to a healthy partner / Can you start a matchmaking service so that I can meet the people that follow your work?" Literally, every week. Here's the thing... We've all...
Continue Reading
How To Apologize Like A Man
Mar 26, 2013
Jordan Gray
How To Apologize Like A Man
How to Apologize Like A Man Most men have an issue with apologizing.  More specifically, most men have a problem with showing anything that could be perceived as weakness. We have internalized from a young age that if we ever feel out of control, or unsure of ourselves, we should...
Continue Reading