Dec 13, 2015

I Believe In Loving Like You Give A Shit

I believe in loving like you give a shit.

I believe in being overly affectionate in public. Even if it means that those who are envious label you as ‘that couple’ or tell you to get a room.

I believe in flirting with someone you’ve been with for years.

I believe in seeking out our barriers to intimacy and working our way through them.

I believe in forgiveness, and acceptance, and our ability to move on when others have hurt us.

I believe in the healing power of listening. And empathy. And a well-timed, genuine “me too.”

I believe in apologizing when we’ve done something wrong. And taking full ownership of our part of the relationship. And embracing total responsibility for ourselves and our behaviour in our lives in general.

I believe in the sexiness of self-care, because when we take care of ourselves, we can truly be there for others.

I believe in simple dates, extravagant dates, and playful dates that spawn inside jokes that last for decades.

I believe in verbal appreciation, and lots of it.

I believe in investing in “Fuck yes!” relationships. And authentic connections. And the kind of coincidences that can only come from our soulmate connections.

I believe in leaning in to tough conversations. Showing ourselves as we are. Letting people know when we’re hurting.

I believe in accepting ourselves today as we are, and simultaneously striving for growth at a healthy pace.

I believe in head scratches and foot rubs… nose kisses and holding hands.

I believe that people who are meant to be together will always find a way to be together.

I believe in transparency, and vulnerability, and deeply loving honesty.

I believe in relationships as a safe container for growth.

I believe in regular date nights, connecting on purpose, and romantic gestures.

I believe in nurturing the kind of love that brings you home to a more authentic version of yourself.

I believe that the people who put genuine work into themselves are the ones who end up with the kind of intimate relationships that most people only think exist in fairy tales.

I believe in long hugs and slow kisses.

I believe in loving someone who looks, smells, and feels like home.

I believe in multi-hour sexual play dates, quickies, and morning sex. Sometimes all on the same day.

I believe in saying, “Fuck you society. I’m going to have sex and I’m going to LOVE it.”

I believe in kissing your partner passionately even when they’re sick. Especially when they’re sick.

I believe in doubling down on the kind of love that expands you… develops you… bursts you wide open.

Whether you label it as intentionality, or effort, or loving on purpose, or any other phrase, it’s really all the same thing.

It all comes down to loving like you give a shit.

Putting in the work. Showing your partner that you care. Creating the love you desire through your thoughts, words, and actions on a daily basis.

Aka… loving like you give a shit.

If you’re someone who loves like they give a shit, I salute you.

The world needs more of you.

Dedicated to your success,

Jordan

 –

Ps. If you enjoyed this article, you’ll likely also love checking out:

10 Questions To Ask To Go Deep In Your Relationship

Kindling vs. Coal: How To Know If Your Relationship Will Last

The 14 Day Relationship Revitalizer: A Free Step-By-Step Guide

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
How Will You Spend Your Heartbeats?
Apr 22, 2016
Jordan Gray
How Will You Spend Your Heartbeats?
The most scarce resource you will ever have is your time. But time is too intangible. Time is a thing that humans invented to organize our lives around. So I like to think of our time in terms of heartbeats. You can feel your heart beating. It connects you to your body, and gets you out of your...
Continue Reading
Half A Dozen Hacks For A Thriving Relationship
Aug 7, 2013
Jordan Gray
Half A Dozen Hacks For A Thriving Relationship
With online dating and booming big city populations changing the dating scene in a massive way, relationships are suffering. It's easy to devalue intimacy when the frictionless market of dating allows you to get out of your current relationship and into a new one within a few days. But you're not...
Continue Reading
Unfathomable Pain, Unfathomable Beauty
Mar 18, 2018
Jordan Gray
Unfathomable Pain, Unfathomable Beauty
The world is incomprehensibly vast and dynamic. It would be too easy to throw in the nihilistic towel and say, 'The world is too messed up. My life has no meaning. What's the point of it all?' Because, yes, the amount of pain and suffering in the world is truly unfathomable. Every day, loved...
Continue Reading
Love Them In A Way That Makes Them More Free
Jan 11, 2019
Jordan Gray
Love Them In A Way That Makes Them More Free
The majority of modern relationships are based off of fear. Marriages that are more about possessiveness than about love. Unspoken codependent social contracts abound. Jealousy, game playing, and manipulation are more the default than the exception. So, if trying to possess or control someone is the...
Continue Reading
101 Things I Love About My Wife
Nov 27, 2022
Jordan Gray
101 Things I Love About My Wife
Today is my wife's 30th birthday. Happy birthday Demetra! And so, to celebrate, aside from the usual presents and cards and cuddles (which she is also getting), I decided to write down some things that I love about her. If you've been following her work for any length of time, many of these...
Continue Reading
The Intentional Life Ep.6: Mastering Self-Love with Ruby Fremon
Aug 7, 2016
Jordan Gray
The Intentional Life Ep.6: Mastering Self-Love with Ruby Fremon
On today's episode, Ruby Fremon and I discuss all things self-love. We talk about her difficult past, the turning point that snapped her out of her life-funk, what her pathway to self-love looked like, and her unique philosophy on what it is that actually makes us more self-loving. Ruby and I's...
Continue Reading