Dec 13, 2015

I Believe In Loving Like You Give A Shit

I believe in loving like you give a shit.

I believe in being overly affectionate in public. Even if it means that those who are envious label you as ‘that couple’ or tell you to get a room.

I believe in flirting with someone you’ve been with for years.

I believe in seeking out our barriers to intimacy and working our way through them.

I believe in forgiveness, and acceptance, and our ability to move on when others have hurt us.

I believe in the healing power of listening. And empathy. And a well-timed, genuine “me too.”

I believe in apologizing when we’ve done something wrong. And taking full ownership of our part of the relationship. And embracing total responsibility for ourselves and our behaviour in our lives in general.

I believe in the sexiness of self-care, because when we take care of ourselves, we can truly be there for others.

I believe in simple dates, extravagant dates, and playful dates that spawn inside jokes that last for decades.

I believe in verbal appreciation, and lots of it.

I believe in investing in “Fuck yes!” relationships. And authentic connections. And the kind of coincidences that can only come from our soulmate connections.

I believe in leaning in to tough conversations. Showing ourselves as we are. Letting people know when we’re hurting.

I believe in accepting ourselves today as we are, and simultaneously striving for growth at a healthy pace.

I believe in head scratches and foot rubs… nose kisses and holding hands.

I believe that people who are meant to be together will always find a way to be together.

I believe in transparency, and vulnerability, and deeply loving honesty.

I believe in relationships as a safe container for growth.

I believe in regular date nights, connecting on purpose, and romantic gestures.

I believe in nurturing the kind of love that brings you home to a more authentic version of yourself.

I believe that the people who put genuine work into themselves are the ones who end up with the kind of intimate relationships that most people only think exist in fairy tales.

I believe in long hugs and slow kisses.

I believe in loving someone who looks, smells, and feels like home.

I believe in multi-hour sexual play dates, quickies, and morning sex. Sometimes all on the same day.

I believe in saying, “Fuck you society. I’m going to have sex and I’m going to LOVE it.”

I believe in kissing your partner passionately even when they’re sick. Especially when they’re sick.

I believe in doubling down on the kind of love that expands you… develops you… bursts you wide open.

Whether you label it as intentionality, or effort, or loving on purpose, or any other phrase, it’s really all the same thing.

It all comes down to loving like you give a shit.

Putting in the work. Showing your partner that you care. Creating the love you desire through your thoughts, words, and actions on a daily basis.

Aka… loving like you give a shit.

If you’re someone who loves like they give a shit, I salute you.

The world needs more of you.

Dedicated to your success,

Jordan

 –

Ps. If you enjoyed this article, you’ll likely also love checking out:

10 Questions To Ask To Go Deep In Your Relationship

Kindling vs. Coal: How To Know If Your Relationship Will Last

The 14 Day Relationship Revitalizer: A Free Step-By-Step Guide

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
7 Things All Women Need In A Relationship
Dec 9, 2013
Jordan Gray
7 Things All Women Need In A Relationship
When it comes to what women need in a relationship, men and women are at an emotional stalemate. We feel something lacking in our relationships. The majority of modern men aren't able to penetrate their women fully, nor are women fully opening to their men. Women aren't opening because men aren't giving...
Continue Reading
How To Know If Your Relationship Has Potential
Oct 1, 2013
Jordan Gray
How To Know If Your Relationship Has Potential
You're a few months (or years) into your relationship and you're wondering whether or not this particular pairing has potential. You feel like you've wasted time with past partners and you don't want to make the same mistake again. Well, you're in luck. Having counselled hundreds of people over the...
Continue Reading
How To Make Your Long Distance Relationship Work
Mar 31, 2014
Jordan Gray
How To Make Your Long Distance Relationship Work
Let's face it… long distance relationships aren't always a walk in the park. Whether you're playing duelling time zones, trying to schedule your next phone call, or just miss cuddling up with your significant other, it can often feel like a challenge to maintain an emotional and sexual connection...
Continue Reading
Why She Should Never Be Your Equal
Apr 10, 2013
Jordan Gray
Why She Should Never Be Your Equal
You've just finished a hard day's work, and all you want to do is spend some time connecting with your partner. But they've had their own challenging day and are feeling exhausted. "Can't you just go to the gym and run off your stress? I'm in the middle of something." ... You find out that...
Continue Reading
8 Man Skills Every Man Should Know
Dec 15, 2019
Jordan Gray
8 Man Skills Every Man Should Know
Something I’ve learned from years in men’s work is that for most guys to really feel like men, they need to be initiated into manhood by a community of other guys, especially older ones. This is where they learn certain skills and ways of living. Most importantly, this initiatory process of...
Continue Reading
How To Fiercely Protect Your Time
Nov 6, 2016
Jordan Gray
How To Fiercely Protect Your Time
Here’s a problem that you haven’t been giving enough thought to… We live in the age of distraction, and your life is full of time vampires. Your beeping cell phone demands your attention. A loose acquaintance that you don’t really know very well reaches out to you on Facebook and asks to grab coffee/lunch/a...
Continue Reading