Mar 4, 2018

King Warrior Magician Lover: How To Grow The 4 Masculine Archetypes

Have you ever heard of the King, Warrior, Magician, and Lover archetypes?

These four Jungian archetypes represent the four major components of what makes up any healthy, fully individuated mature masculine essence.

In other words, to slide the fader further down the continuum from boy to man, these four archetypes are good to have a solid grasp on.

In this article, I will lay out some simple, practical steps to increasing each of our four masculine archetypes.

You might have a more integrated relationship one or two of these archetypes, and spend the next handful of years (or decades) of boosting your less integrated elements. Such is life. There is nothing wrong with that. Working on your ‘weaker’ points is integral to a health person’s integrated path.

Without further ado, here is a breakdown of the four Jungian archetypes, with practical tips on more deeply integrating your yet-to-be integrated parts.

What Is King Energy?

Since a King, in the traditional sense, is a well-rounded, deeply trustable man, King energy is what you earn as a result of having of having integrated the Magician, Lover, and Warrior archetypes.

King energy is grounded, disciplined, firm, decisive, protective, responsive, present, and centred. Much of what I wrote in my How To Develop Your Masculine Edge most notably pertains to King and Warrior energy, so I would recommend you read that article as well if you are new to my site.

How To Increase Your King Energy (5 Tips)

There are dozens of things I could list off for this section, but I will begin with the highest leverage action steps that positively impact the greatest volume of aspects in your life.

Know what makes you come alive and do that every single day of your life. Know yourself. Do what brings you joy. Guard against shiny objects and distractions. Live your life potently and do what you know is right for you. When you plan your life out and allow yourself the freedom of living out that plan, you give your life meaning. In other words, build your dream and the dream will build you.

– Live by your own internal code. Live your life according to your personal values and ideals… not the values of your parents, society, peer group, or colleagues. When it comes time to die your death, you’ll be the one doing it. Make sure you live your life so that you can die well, and be proud of who you were during your journey.

– Do your best every day to ensure that you are leaving the world a better place than when you found it. Your legacy matters. Life every day as if you were under a microscope. Give authentic praise to others. Acknowledge people’s efforts. Give anyone the time of day if they are a part of your kingdom.

– Live with more integrity than you currently do. Where in your life are you out of alignment? What do you do that you are even 1% ashamed of? Who have you not apologized to for past wrongdoings (where doing so would not bring them unnecessary harm)? When do you let yourself get away with withholding your truth? Clean up your life by cleaning up your integrity. Allow your thoughts, beliefs, and actions to be in total alignment. Be so yourself that everyone can safely expect what ‘version’ of they’re going to get in all moments. Allow yourself to become so consistent and predictable that you also, as a result, become deeply trustable.

– Take full responsibility for everything in your life (the good and the bad). Let go of blaming others entirely. Face directly into your lessons. Realize that no one is coming to save you. Everything in your life is a directly result of your mind. If your life needs cleaning up, then so do your thoughts.

What Is Warrior Energy?

Warrior energy overlaps with King energy in terms of it’s propensity for justice, fairness, peace, and order… but it also has a junkyard dog quality to it. Warrior energy will tear your throw out if you stand in it’s way. But it’s aggression is never mindless. Warrior aggression is tied to a higher cause or virtue. It has reason and mindfulness embedded in it.

Warrior energy lives with a sense of forward gear. Ever forward. The Warrior picks a path and leans into it with all of his effort, energy, and life force. A Warrior has a potent sense of totality.

How To Increase Your Warrior Energy (5 Tips)

In modern times, where comfort, convenience, and immediacy is at an all-time high, men with low Warrior energy are all around.

To cultivate and deepen your sense of Warrior energy, you must:

– Be decisive. Pick your path and honour it. Know what you want and state it. Be clear in what you want. Don’t waste your precious time hemming and hawing. Get off the fence. Make a decision, commit fully, and re-direct yourself as needed.

– Be assertive.

 State your desires and needs clearly. Be forthcoming and direct in your communication. Work on becoming more comfortable saying ‘No’ to people and hearing ‘No’ from people.

– Challenge yourself. Warrior energy grows through challenges. Exercise regularly. Use your body. DO MORE. You build confidence by accomplishing tasks.

– Stand up to injustices that you care about. When you see someone being taken advantage of, speak up. When you see someone fighting down, step in and stop them. When you see someone being unjust in their affairs with others, say something. Don’t be a bystander when you see bullshit occurring around you.

– Work on your sense of discipline. Give your gifts ferociously every day. Let nothing stand in your way. You know what your work is… don’t let any external forces slow you down.

What Is Magician Energy?

A common misconception is that the Magician archetype is all about performance and showmanship. More accurately, Magician energy is about mastery, dedication to a craft, or one (or multiple) sets of hidden knowledge.

The doctor utilizes his Magician energy when he plays healer to his patients. The painter deploys his Magician energy when he gets lost in a creative flow and a blank canvas turns into a work of art in front of his very eyes. The therapist employs his Magician when he sees through the words and hears (and diagnoses) what is truly going on behind the patient’s myriad of words.

How To Increase Your Magician Energy (5 Tips)

To increase your relationship to your Magician energy, you must:

– Dedicate yourself to a craft or primary mission in your life. Become a master at something. Stop trying to be a jack of all trades and become a king of one. Once you have a sufficient level of mastery in one arena, then you may move on to the next. Don’t be a dabbler… be a master. Allow yourself to become masterful at something with time, effort, and patience.

– Create more. The 10,000 hour rule applies here. No one becomes a master at their skill overnight. In order to become increasingly sufficient (and eventually masterful) at something, you must make a lot of mistakes, and continually learn from your efforts. Fail fast, fast often, fail forwards. Get 0.1% better every day at your craft, and your life will be unrecognizably different a year from now.

– Consciously cut out noise from your life. It’s impossible to become a master at something if you are constantly spreading your energy around everywhere. If watching the evening news doesn’t serve you on your path, then stop it. If hanging out with certain negative social influences hinders your growth in life, cut them out. If you are trying to run ten businesses at once and none of them are doing particularly well, then you’re allowing yourself to drown in noise. Cut out noise. Be fierce with your boundaries to create space for what truly matters to you.

– Understand that certain lessons must come once you have truly earned them. Like any wise guru, Magician energy knows that getting all of the information you need up front would stunt you or damage your trajectory. Certain lessons need to be taken in over time. This ties into the above point about patience. Don’t rush your process. Don’t force someone’s hand when they tell you that you aren’t ready to know about certain things. Everything will come to you in time if it is meant to. No need to force it.

– Find a mentor and listen well. Magician energy is largely built through apprenticeship, teachers, and mentors. You do not have all of the answers. There will be people along your path who will help you exponentially skyrocket your abilities if you allow them to. Humble yourself and sideline your ego for long enough to be a good student. Make yourself valuable. Show your appreciation to your teacher by 1) doing your work and making your life count, and 2) being efficient with how much of your teachers energy you consume. Do your homework, be as self-sufficient as possible, and lighten your mentor’s proverbial load whenever possible.

What Is Lover Energy?

Lover energy is the energy of excitement, passion, emotion, sensuality, and youthful idealism.

Whereas modern men tend to lack in King and Warrior energy, they are most often quite in touch with their Lover energy (since Lover energy is usually the first of the four archetypes to develop in men as they mature).

The passionate protestor screaming about his cause… the apprenticing chef hastily tasting his slow-cooked sauce… the man consumed by his creative endeavours who occasionally forgets to eat, rest, or prioritize his social life… all of these men are steeped in their Lover energy.

How To Increase Your Lover Energy (5 Tips)

To increase your Lover energy, you must:

– Slow down and see the beauty in simple things, instead of consuming more. The shadow side of Lover energy ties closely to addiction. Instead of endlessly chasing highs in your life (sex, food, drugs, etc.), consciously slow down and see the beauty of all that is already around you, and inside of you.

– Focus on the beauty of that which you already have and experience those things more fully. For example, invest in your love life with a date night/romantic gesture/extended sex date where you focus on simply drinking each other in. Or being extra mindful when you slowly eat a delicious meal. Or sit in front of your most prized possession and do a gratitude ceremony for that object (be it a thing, a person, or a creative work that you brought forth into the world).

– Cultivate a fun and energy-giving hobby that fuels you up, especially if it isn’t related to your primary career. Lover energy craves a sense of variety. Don’t put all of your eggs into one basket. Have hobbies and other interests outside of your Magician-boosting career path. Cultivate your sense of aliveness by keeping your life full of deeply nourishing experiences.

– Regularly spend time in nature and let the beauty and expansiveness of it all wash over you. Never allow your life to become so full that you neglect the elements. We are a part of nature, and if you pretend otherwise then your soul will slowly and progressively suffer. Breathe in mother nature… allow yourself to be in stillness. Regardless of whether you are in a forest or in the middle of a downtown core filled with modern architecture, marvel in the daily beauty that is always around you.

– Do a 20 minute slow eating meditation where you focus all of your attention on the meal in front of you. To drop in to your body and the world of the senses, enjoy at least one mindful meal per week where you give all of your attention to the task at hand. Feel the texture, taste the nuance, enjoy the sense of nourishment that the meal affords you. Give it all of your available attention. Dive into it fully.

Lover energy is not about mindless consumption (of sexual partners, food, alcohol, etc.) but rather a present, mindful reveller in the beauty and richness of all that life has to offer. While Lover energy desires to be boundless and totally free, the other three archetypes form the structure around the Lover so that it doesn’t take control and turn a man’s life into chaos.

King Warrior Magician Lover, In Their Totality

These four archetypes work in tandem with each other. As you develop one, the others beg to be boosted as well. If you find yourself highly cultivated in three, with one deficiency remaining, that gap will make itself known in short order by way of the feedback you get from how your life is functioning (or under-functioning).

I wish you the best of luck on your journey.

Dedicated to your success,


Ps. If you enjoyed reading this article, you will also love checking out:

King Warrior Magician Lover: Rediscovering The Archetypes Of The Mature Masculine

No More Mr. Nice Guy: A Book Review

How I Healed My Relationship With Men

How To Develop Your Masculine Edge: 9 Steps To Becoming A Beast



See All
23 Highly Imperfect Things About Me
Aug 28, 2019
Jordan Gray
23 Highly Imperfect Things About Me
No matter how many times I remind people of how imperfect I am (link, link, link, link, link), I still receive regular projections about how I must be (cue Beyonce voice) *flawless*. So it seems that an annual reminder is a valuable exercise in allowing myself to be seen more fully. When you’re a public...
Continue Reading
7 Steps To Financial Freedom
Dec 8, 2019
Jordan Gray
7 Steps To Financial Freedom
The majority of the world lives paycheque to paycheque with little to no savings in the bank. And not having money sucks. Imagine waking up in the morning with zero debt. Imagine never having to worry about how you are going to pay for your rent/mortgage/groceries ever again. Imagine waking up with...
Continue Reading
5 Weird Stress Busting Techniques You’ve Never Heard Of
Dec 10, 2016
Jordan Gray
5 Weird Stress Busting Techniques You’ve Never Heard Of
When I'm curious about something, I deep dive all the way into it. When I was 16 years old and first discovered the self-help, sex, and relationships sections of my favourite book store, I consumed hundreds of books within the first two years. When I found out that it was possible to make a living...
Continue Reading
In Praise Of Praise
Nov 26, 2013
Jordan Gray
In Praise Of Praise
I met a recently engaged couple while living in Thailand earlier this year. I asked Phil to share his favourite thing about his fiancee, Emily, and he was quick to answer. “Emily is really nurturing and patient with me. She’s very sweet to me when I need it the most.” Emily was completely taken aback....
Continue Reading
What Love Letter Will You Write To The World?
Mar 31, 2016
Jordan Gray
What Love Letter Will You Write To The World?
The fact that you exist is nothing short of a miracle. Your life is a gift. And how you live your life is your thank you letter to the universe. You can take your life for granted and live your life from a mindset of entitlement... or you can live from a place of gratitude paired with the intention...
Continue Reading
How To Love Your Highly Sensitive Partner
Mar 15, 2015
Jordan Gray
How To Love Your Highly Sensitive Partner
I recently received a message from one of my readers that sparked my interest. - “My wife is (what she labels as) a “highly sensitive person” or HSP. Quite often, things that I don’t see as a huge deal can make her go running for shelter for hours on end. I love her to bits and I just want to understand...
Continue Reading