Western society lives by the culturally imposed rules of ‘The Cult Of One’.
We are constantly bombarded with messages of “Go it alone”… “Be all that YOU can be”… “Never let ‘em see you sweat”… “When you laugh the world laughs with you, when you cry, you cry alone.”
The underlying message being that we are alone in the world, we have to do life on our own, and your pain is your pain alone… and you have to figure it out by yourself.
This has never been true of the human condition. We are a social species, and we need each other to thrive.
This is doubly true when it comes to healing your emotional pain.
If your pain was caused in relationship (bullying, painful breakups, shame about ourselves because of the words or actions of others), then it must also be healed in relationship with others.
You need people to act as mirrors to help you heal.
You need people to witness your beautiful tears.
You need people to reflect your worth back to you with their words.
And none of this makes you weak, silly, or needy… it makes you human.
Here are three examples of ways that you can heal with other people.
1. Talk it out
Talk to a trusted, non-shaming friend, coach, or confidante. Spill your proverbial guts to them. Tell them everything. Have them love and accept you through your courageous share.
2. Practice praise bombing
Host a one-off/weekly/monthly gathering of close, trusted friends where you take turns going through an exercise where everyone says what they love/adore/appreciate/respect about one of the guests in particular. For example, everyone might love/appreciate/validate you, as the host, the first week, and then it would be Mike’s turn next week, and then Jen’s, etc.
Whatever doubts you had about your value in the world will eventually be melted away as the people who know you the most reflect your worth back to you so fully.
3. Do spoiling sessions
Whether you’re specifically looking to heal sexual shame, or you’re just looking for a big, old-fashioned love-up and cuddle-down… following the structure of the spoiling session should do the trick.
You get a dedicated amount of time to receive whatever it is that your heart most deeply desires from your partner/partners.
Dedicated to your success,
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