Nov 13, 2016

Men Who Cry Are Beautiful

Men are societally discouraged from crying from a young age, and that’s a problem.

As a result of men chronically suppressing their emotions, we have a drastically higher rate of suicide.

Of course there are other factors that lead to people taking their lives, but I see emotional suppression as the component that is the leading cause by a landslide.

Think of it like this…

People seriously consider suicide as an option when their pain begins to exceed their coping resources. And what causes pain? The cumulation of stored negative emotions. And why do men frequently have less coping resources than women when it comes to sharing their emotions? Because being seen as emotional is thought of as less acceptable for men.

If men only knew how beautiful and healing it was when they cried, then that suppressed emotional energy wouldn’t need to claim the lives that it does every year.

It Takes Courage And Strength To Feel Your Feelings

men crying, men who cry are beautiful

I’ve heard men boast about how they haven’t cried in years, as if being emotionally constipated is somehow a badge of honour to brag about.

Turning your back on your pain is easy, but it takes the ultimate courage to lean into your pain and feel your feelings.

In the short term, it’s easy to pretend that your pain isn’t there… to numb yourself with work, food, sex, or other compulsive distractions.

The harder path is to face your fear directly.

There are certain stress hormones that are only released through sweating and crying. So, sure, you can put on your workout gear and buy a gym pass to move your cortisol through your body… or you can slow down for a minute and have a good cry.

The Magical Shield Of Invincibility

One of my favourite parables comes from the author Paul Bunyan, in his book The Pilgrim’s Progress.

In this book, the protagonist has a magical shield. This shield makes him entirely invincible as long as he goes towards his opponents directly. If he goes at them at an angle, or he turns his back on them, then the shield loses all of it’s power and he is immediately made vulnerable.

The lesson: go towards your fears directly. If you face your challenges head-on, you will survive and grow stronger. If you attack your life’s challenges half-heartedly, you will become disempowered.

Lean into your emotional processing.

You are allowed to cry. You are allowed to release your old pain. You are allowed to walk through the fires of alchemy in order to come out stronger on the other side.

You are not a robot. You are a soft-bodied, human animal.

You are allowed to feel.

And the more you internalize the reality that your emotions are acceptable, necessary, and beautiful, the more you will attract people into your life that agree with you and treat your emotions with a similar sense of reverence.

And hey…

I know it isn’t easy to overcome decades of counter-conditioning and emotional suppression, but the world needs you in all of your emotionally expressed glory.

Wear your tears like badges of honour.

You’ve earned them.

If you enjoyed this post, you’ll likely also love reading:

How To Fully Release Difficult Emotions That Hold You Back

How To Manage Stress (Or How I Weathered My Shit Storm Of A Year)

All Of Your Suffering Was Worth It

How To Get Rid Of Your Repressed Anger

4 Reasons Not To Kill Yourself (Read This First)

Primary/header photo courtesy of Heather Pennell of RisingWoman.com

Blog

Related

See All
The Most Challenging 48 Hours Of My Life (A Year In Review)
Jan 1, 2014
Jordan Gray
The Most Challenging 48 Hours Of My Life (A Year In Review)
I was at one of the lowest points of my life a year and a half ago… I was depressed, unfulfilled, and having frequent panic attacks. I was in a relationship that drained me, a job that I resented, and felt incongruent with who I was and what I was doing. One morning, I woke up and decided that...
Continue Reading
6 Money Arguments Couples Have (And How To Resolve Them)
Dec 10, 2019
Jordan Gray
6 Money Arguments Couples Have (And How To Resolve Them)
A few years ago, a reader pointed out to me that I didn't write about money enough. "Seeing as money is the #1 thing that couples fight about, it's interesting to me that you don't write about it more often." And they were right! So, I decided that I am going to be talking about money...
Continue Reading
4 Reasons Not To Kill Yourself (Read This First)
Aug 6, 2016
Jordan Gray
4 Reasons Not To Kill Yourself (Read This First)
If you're searching for reasons not to kill yourself, then you would be doing me the greatest possible service by reading this article. Please. Read this. It's short, and it will help. I promise. - “I have wanted to kill myself, every day, for the last three months. I’m only holding...
Continue Reading
Do This One Thing To Make Any Relationship Thrive
Feb 21, 2016
Jordan Gray
Do This One Thing To Make Any Relationship Thrive
When you were born, you had a unique way about you. You spoke in a certain way. You admired others in a certain way. You picked up your food in a certain way. No matter how much your parents, friends, culture, society, and peers tried to shape you into something other than what you were, your unique...
Continue Reading
How To Develop Courage
Sep 18, 2016
Jordan Gray
How To Develop Courage
"Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy." – Dale Carnegie - On February 7th, 2013, I was booked to hop on a plane headed to Southeast Asia. At this point...
Continue Reading
The 4 Biggest Things I Wish I Had Been Taught In School
Jan 15, 2017
Jordan Gray
The 4 Biggest Things I Wish I Had Been Taught In School
In high school, I was a piss poor student. Upon entering high school I could immediately tell that this was not the game that I was going to win in life. Some kids got straight A’s... and I could tell that I wasn’t going to be one of those kids. I invested as little energy as I could into my school...
Continue Reading