Jan 29, 2014

An Open Love Letter To Women's Bodies

Losing my virginity took less than a minute.

I was so mesmerized by the beauty, openness, and curves of my girlfriend that I felt overwhelmed.

Every curve of her body begging to have my hands on them.

Every patch of skin that I touched softer than the last.

Her eyes staring into my soul with such depth.

Before physically being with a woman I had imagined that sexual intimacy would do something to me… but I had no idea the level of infatuation it would set off in my mind.

This is an open love letter to women’s bodies (with some always-requested action-steps at the end for the guys).

WomanLayingInGrass

So, What’s Your Type?

Through fifteen years of serial-monogamy I have discovered something about my type; my type is no type. Or all types, depending on your perspective.

The older I get the wider of a variety of women I find myself being attracted to.

Throughout my life I have adored short, curvy women whose mere existence just begs to be picked up and swung around.

I appreciate tall, slender women whose little rib cages call out for my arms to wrap around them.

I find myself marvelling at the folds, flab, bones, curves, and angles of women.

Beautiful curvaceous women with figures like chandeliers.

Long, slender women with bodies like bullets straight through my heart.

Women with elegant necks, chewable collar bones, and hairlines that smell like everything that is right with the world.

It would be all too easy to say that your type is a 5’9 blonde with this and that feature… but if you are unable see the inherent beauty in all women’s bodies, you will forever struggle to see it truthfully in your woman’s body.

Part view of a man's hands caressing a nude woman's back.

When Did Bodies Become Something We Have To Apologize For?

When I hear (mostly) women talking about how fat, weak, bloated, hairy, or oily their bodies are my heart springs into action.

Like a toddler who resists admitting that his unique piece of art really is that amazing, I lavish praise on the body-shame.

Her: “Does my butt look big in this jeans?”

Me: “Mmm totally! It looks fucking fantastic.”

All emotional resistance can be melted through with love and acceptance.

Not only does praise melt away body-shame in the moment, but it can also prevent it by constantly reassuring the owner of said body.

In my relationship, my partner doesn’t go a day without hearing about something that I love about her body (among other things).

If you are with someone, it’s because you want to be with them. Don’t just tell yourself “She knows that I’m attracted to her”… TELL her.

Contextual masculine brain thinking goes like this… “If I tell her that I love her or that I am attracted to her body, that statement is still true unless otherwise modified.”

While present-minded feminine thinking says “I logically know that he says he’s attracted to me… but how does he feel about me now? Today? This very moment?”

Loving couple lying in bed

For The Action-Takers Out There

For the men who are craving the usual action steps that occur in my articles…

If you are currently in a relationship, remind yourself what you love about your partners appearance.

When was the last time that you told her that her thighs absolutely kill you?

When was the last time you came up behind her and wrapped your arms around her beautiful torso and growled softly in her ear?

How long has it been since she saw the look of awe and disbelief in your eyes as you scanned her delicious body from head to toe?

Your woman craves praise and appreciation.

The feminine in every person (male or female) is nourished by praise.

So tell your partner what you like and tell them often.

Dedicated to your success,

Jordan

Ps. Do you want to honour your woman’s bod by being the best lover possible? Check out Supercharge Your Sex Life. In a matter of days you could be lasting longer, pleasing your partner more fully, and having the best sex of your entire life.

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
7 Ways To Set Up Your Bedroom For Better Sex
Jul 7, 2016
Jordan Gray
7 Ways To Set Up Your Bedroom For Better Sex
Want to set up your bedroom for better sex, more relaxation, and more connection with your lover? While we can exercise our willpower to a certain extent in our lives, our environments often shape our realities to a greater degree. So instead of having to overcome the lacklustre vibe in your bedroom...
Continue Reading
Cold Feet Or Wrong Person?: 5 Ways To Know
Aug 31, 2024
Jordan Gray
Cold Feet Or Wrong Person?: 5 Ways To Know
Have you been lying awake at night, thinking to yourself... 'Hmm... cold feet or wrong person?' Fortunately, there is a huge difference between having normal, healthy, appropriate nerves or a sense of hesitancy around the person you're engaged to, versus there being legitimate red flags that should...
Continue Reading
How To Have Amazing Sex While Quarantining
Mar 19, 2020
Jordan Gray
How To Have Amazing Sex While Quarantining
Are you currently quarantining yourself indoors because of this whole Coronavirus/COVID-19 pandemic? And are you still a sexual being? Yes, of course you are! Regardless of the extent of self-quarantining and/or social distancing that you are currently engaging in, you are still a soft-bodied human...
Continue Reading
7 Powerful Ways For Men To Revive A Dead Bedroom
Oct 12, 2020
Jordan Gray
7 Powerful Ways For Men To Revive A Dead Bedroom
In a long-term relationship and your sex life has taken a nosedive? You're not alone. Nobody gets proper training in how to sustain connection and sexual desire in a long-term relationship or marriage, so why would we know how to keep the erotic home fires burning after the initial spark wears off? The...
Continue Reading
83 Dirty Talk Phrases That Drive Men Wild
Jul 6, 2020
Jordan Gray
83 Dirty Talk Phrases That Drive Men Wild
Want some next-level dirty talk phrases for your man that are guaranteed to get a mind-melting, cock-stiffening response? First, I'll break down the deeper mechanics of what actually turns him on. Then, I'll give you some examples of it in action, so you can start pressing his buttons, and even improvise...
Continue Reading
15 Specific Practices To Boost Self-Trust
Nov 18, 2018
Jordan Gray
15 Specific Practices To Boost Self-Trust
A coaching client of mine recently sent me a question via email on self-trust that I had a lot of energy for. Here is her question, followed by my response to her. - "Hi, Jordan. Since you seem to be looking for topics to write about every now and then, I'd have one for you I'd...
Continue Reading