Jan 29, 2014

An Open Love Letter To Women's Bodies

Losing my virginity took less than a minute.

I was so mesmerized by the beauty, openness, and curves of my girlfriend that I felt overwhelmed.

Every curve of her body begging to have my hands on them.

Every patch of skin that I touched softer than the last.

Her eyes staring into my soul with such depth.

Before physically being with a woman I had imagined that sexual intimacy would do something to me… but I had no idea the level of infatuation it would set off in my mind.

This is an open love letter to women’s bodies (with some always-requested action-steps at the end for the guys).

WomanLayingInGrass

So, What’s Your Type?

Through fifteen years of serial-monogamy I have discovered something about my type; my type is no type. Or all types, depending on your perspective.

The older I get the wider of a variety of women I find myself being attracted to.

Throughout my life I have adored short, curvy women whose mere existence just begs to be picked up and swung around.

I appreciate tall, slender women whose little rib cages call out for my arms to wrap around them.

I find myself marvelling at the folds, flab, bones, curves, and angles of women.

Beautiful curvaceous women with figures like chandeliers.

Long, slender women with bodies like bullets straight through my heart.

Women with elegant necks, chewable collar bones, and hairlines that smell like everything that is right with the world.

It would be all too easy to say that your type is a 5’9 blonde with this and that feature… but if you are unable see the inherent beauty in all women’s bodies, you will forever struggle to see it truthfully in your woman’s body.

Part view of a man's hands caressing a nude woman's back.

When Did Bodies Become Something We Have To Apologize For?

When I hear (mostly) women talking about how fat, weak, bloated, hairy, or oily their bodies are my heart springs into action.

Like a toddler who resists admitting that his unique piece of art really is that amazing, I lavish praise on the body-shame.

Her: “Does my butt look big in this jeans?”

Me: “Mmm totally! It looks fucking fantastic.”

All emotional resistance can be melted through with love and acceptance.

Not only does praise melt away body-shame in the moment, but it can also prevent it by constantly reassuring the owner of said body.

In my relationship, my partner doesn’t go a day without hearing about something that I love about her body (among other things).

If you are with someone, it’s because you want to be with them. Don’t just tell yourself “She knows that I’m attracted to her”… TELL her.

Contextual masculine brain thinking goes like this… “If I tell her that I love her or that I am attracted to her body, that statement is still true unless otherwise modified.”

While present-minded feminine thinking says “I logically know that he says he’s attracted to me… but how does he feel about me now? Today? This very moment?”

Loving couple lying in bed

For The Action-Takers Out There

For the men who are craving the usual action steps that occur in my articles…

If you are currently in a relationship, remind yourself what you love about your partners appearance.

When was the last time that you told her that her thighs absolutely kill you?

When was the last time you came up behind her and wrapped your arms around her beautiful torso and growled softly in her ear?

How long has it been since she saw the look of awe and disbelief in your eyes as you scanned her delicious body from head to toe?

Your woman craves praise and appreciation.

The feminine in every person (male or female) is nourished by praise.

So tell your partner what you like and tell them often.

Dedicated to your success,

Jordan

Ps. Do you want to honour your woman’s bod by being the best lover possible? Check out Supercharge Your Sex Life. In a matter of days you could be lasting longer, pleasing your partner more fully, and having the best sex of your entire life.

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
The Shifting Role Of Relationships In Modern Society
Feb 1, 2016
Jordan Gray
The Shifting Role Of Relationships In Modern Society
Something’s happening… and I’m pretty sure you’ve noticed it too. The role of relationships in our lives, and the reasons that people get married have shifted. Slowly at first, and now more rapidly. I believe that the primary reason that people have gotten married over the last 150 years has transitioned...
Continue Reading
12 Things Your Partner Needs To Hear More Often
Feb 5, 2014
Jordan Gray
12 Things Your Partner Needs To Hear More Often
There are things that your partner needs to hear you say on a consistent basis in order to feel deeply loved. Some of which they know about, and some of them, they don't. Communication is key in intimate relationships and it helps to be intentional about telling your partner what they need to hear...
Continue Reading
3 Ways To Set Up Your Single Life For Success In Dating
Jun 16, 2014
Jordan Gray
3 Ways To Set Up Your Single Life For Success In Dating
It's all too easy to blindly fumble around from dysfunctional relationship to dysfunctional relationship. But does that mean that that's your only option? There are things that you can do in the space between your relationships that will set you up for success in your love life. Miss these, and...
Continue Reading
5 Ways For How To Get Confidence... FAST
Jan 26, 2013
Jordan Gray
5 Ways For How To Get Confidence… FAST
How To Get Confidence Fast In attempts to be more attractive to the opposite sex, men the world over have all heard some variation of the phrase “Just be confident”. It is hands down the most overused phrase that relationship advice columnists have pummelled into the ground...
Continue Reading
How To Harness And Heal The Pain Of A Breakup
Nov 18, 2015
Jordan Gray
How To Harness And Heal The Pain Of A Breakup
The pain of a breakup can be excruciatingly intense. I know because I've been there. I started working in sex and relationships full time because the pain of a breakup levelled me so hard that it shook up my entire life. We had been dating for just over a year. I thought I was going to marry...
Continue Reading
Suicidal To Successful To Self-Loving: The First 33 Years Of My Life
May 25, 2020
Jordan Gray
Suicidal To Successful To Self-Loving: The First 33 Years Of My Life
The following is a summary of the first 33 years of my life. Kind of like a thus-far-autobiography. It should be noted that I am an unreliable narrator... as all narrators are. Because my perspectives are only my own. I'm sure some facts are muddied by my highly fallible human memory, especially...
Continue Reading