Jan 29, 2014

An Open Love Letter To Women's Bodies

Losing my virginity took less than a minute.

I was so mesmerized by the beauty, openness, and curves of my girlfriend that I felt overwhelmed.

Every curve of her body begging to have my hands on them.

Every patch of skin that I touched softer than the last.

Her eyes staring into my soul with such depth.

Before physically being with a woman I had imagined that sexual intimacy would do something to me… but I had no idea the level of infatuation it would set off in my mind.

This is an open love letter to women’s bodies (with some always-requested action-steps at the end for the guys).

WomanLayingInGrass

So, What’s Your Type?

Through fifteen years of serial-monogamy I have discovered something about my type; my type is no type. Or all types, depending on your perspective.

The older I get the wider of a variety of women I find myself being attracted to.

Throughout my life I have adored short, curvy women whose mere existence just begs to be picked up and swung around.

I appreciate tall, slender women whose little rib cages call out for my arms to wrap around them.

I find myself marvelling at the folds, flab, bones, curves, and angles of women.

Beautiful curvaceous women with figures like chandeliers.

Long, slender women with bodies like bullets straight through my heart.

Women with elegant necks, chewable collar bones, and hairlines that smell like everything that is right with the world.

It would be all too easy to say that your type is a 5’9 blonde with this and that feature… but if you are unable see the inherent beauty in all women’s bodies, you will forever struggle to see it truthfully in your woman’s body.

Part view of a man's hands caressing a nude woman's back.

When Did Bodies Become Something We Have To Apologize For?

When I hear (mostly) women talking about how fat, weak, bloated, hairy, or oily their bodies are my heart springs into action.

Like a toddler who resists admitting that his unique piece of art really is that amazing, I lavish praise on the body-shame.

Her: “Does my butt look big in this jeans?”

Me: “Mmm totally! It looks fucking fantastic.”

All emotional resistance can be melted through with love and acceptance.

Not only does praise melt away body-shame in the moment, but it can also prevent it by constantly reassuring the owner of said body.

In my relationship, my partner doesn’t go a day without hearing about something that I love about her body (among other things).

If you are with someone, it’s because you want to be with them. Don’t just tell yourself “She knows that I’m attracted to her”… TELL her.

Contextual masculine brain thinking goes like this… “If I tell her that I love her or that I am attracted to her body, that statement is still true unless otherwise modified.”

While present-minded feminine thinking says “I logically know that he says he’s attracted to me… but how does he feel about me now? Today? This very moment?”

Loving couple lying in bed

For The Action-Takers Out There

For the men who are craving the usual action steps that occur in my articles…

If you are currently in a relationship, remind yourself what you love about your partners appearance.

When was the last time that you told her that her thighs absolutely kill you?

When was the last time you came up behind her and wrapped your arms around her beautiful torso and growled softly in her ear?

How long has it been since she saw the look of awe and disbelief in your eyes as you scanned her delicious body from head to toe?

Your woman craves praise and appreciation.

The feminine in every person (male or female) is nourished by praise.

So tell your partner what you like and tell them often.

Dedicated to your success,

Jordan

Ps. Do you want to honour your woman’s bod by being the best lover possible? Check out Supercharge Your Sex Life. In a matter of days you could be lasting longer, pleasing your partner more fully, and having the best sex of your entire life.

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
The 5 Best Things To Do When You're Hurting
Dec 3, 2015
Jordan Gray
The 5 Best Things To Do When You’re Hurting
We all hurt sometimes. Maybe you went through a painful breakup recently. Or you lost someone close to you. Or you're just in a funk lately and feel like busting out of it (even if only for a couple of hours). These are my five go-to activities whenever I want to feel better. They're simple, and...
Continue Reading
5 Steps To Figuring Out The Root Cause Of Erectile Dysfunction
Mar 8, 2020
Jordan Gray
5 Steps To Figuring Out The Root Cause Of Erectile Dysfunction
Have you ever wondered about the root cause of your erectile dysfunction? Because our minds are wired to look for the path of least resistance, everyone wants a silver-bullet solution to something that isn't as simple as it may seem on the surface. In truth, sexual arousal in the body is...
Continue Reading
Do You Regret An Entire Relationship? Here’s What’s Actually Going On
Mar 24, 2019
Jordan Gray
Do You Regret An Entire Relationship? Here’s What’s Actually Going On
I was talking to a client the other week, and he mentioned that he regretted a year long relationship that had recently come to an end in his life. This isn’t the first time I’ve heard someone saying that they wished they could undo the fact that an intimate relationship had taken place. If this is...
Continue Reading
Life Is Short/Life Is Long
Nov 4, 2018
Jordan Gray
Life Is Short/Life Is Long
Life is short. And life is long. Both statements are true. I’ll prove it. Life Is Short You get about 27,000 days, give or take a few thousand, on average. That’s about 4,000 weeks. Just over 70 years. Sure, maybe we’ll make some kick...
Continue Reading
6 Ways To Build Emotional Resilience (And Become Unfuckwithable)
Feb 21, 2020
Jordan Gray
6 Ways To Build Emotional Resilience (And Become Unfuckwithable)
To be alive is to be at constant risk of facing intense pain. Hard things will happen to all of us. Buddha’s first noble truth said it well: “Life is suffering.” Unforeseen tragedy will strike. The people you love will eventually pass away, or become sick. Some things you’ve worked on for years will...
Continue Reading
Sometimes Seeds Get Planted In Our Heads
Jul 31, 2016
Jordan Gray
Sometimes Seeds Get Planted In Our Heads
Growing up, in my earliest years, my sister was like a second mom to me. She would carry me around, tie my shoes, and play games with me endlessly. At a certain age, my older brother decided that I was annoying and he started to tease me behind my parents backs. My sister, understandably not wanting...
Continue Reading