Jan 29, 2014

An Open Love Letter To Women's Bodies

Losing my virginity took less than a minute.

I was so mesmerized by the beauty, openness, and curves of my girlfriend that I felt overwhelmed.

Every curve of her body begging to have my hands on them.

Every patch of skin that I touched softer than the last.

Her eyes staring into my soul with such depth.

Before physically being with a woman I had imagined that sexual intimacy would do something to me… but I had no idea the level of infatuation it would set off in my mind.

This is an open love letter to women’s bodies (with some always-requested action-steps at the end for the guys).

WomanLayingInGrass

So, What’s Your Type?

Through fifteen years of serial-monogamy I have discovered something about my type; my type is no type. Or all types, depending on your perspective.

The older I get the wider of a variety of women I find myself being attracted to.

Throughout my life I have adored short, curvy women whose mere existence just begs to be picked up and swung around.

I appreciate tall, slender women whose little rib cages call out for my arms to wrap around them.

I find myself marvelling at the folds, flab, bones, curves, and angles of women.

Beautiful curvaceous women with figures like chandeliers.

Long, slender women with bodies like bullets straight through my heart.

Women with elegant necks, chewable collar bones, and hairlines that smell like everything that is right with the world.

It would be all too easy to say that your type is a 5’9 blonde with this and that feature… but if you are unable see the inherent beauty in all women’s bodies, you will forever struggle to see it truthfully in your woman’s body.

Part view of a man's hands caressing a nude woman's back.

When Did Bodies Become Something We Have To Apologize For?

When I hear (mostly) women talking about how fat, weak, bloated, hairy, or oily their bodies are my heart springs into action.

Like a toddler who resists admitting that his unique piece of art really is that amazing, I lavish praise on the body-shame.

Her: “Does my butt look big in this jeans?”

Me: “Mmm totally! It looks fucking fantastic.”

All emotional resistance can be melted through with love and acceptance.

Not only does praise melt away body-shame in the moment, but it can also prevent it by constantly reassuring the owner of said body.

In my relationship, my partner doesn’t go a day without hearing about something that I love about her body (among other things).

If you are with someone, it’s because you want to be with them. Don’t just tell yourself “She knows that I’m attracted to her”… TELL her.

Contextual masculine brain thinking goes like this… “If I tell her that I love her or that I am attracted to her body, that statement is still true unless otherwise modified.”

While present-minded feminine thinking says “I logically know that he says he’s attracted to me… but how does he feel about me now? Today? This very moment?”

Loving couple lying in bed

For The Action-Takers Out There

For the men who are craving the usual action steps that occur in my articles…

If you are currently in a relationship, remind yourself what you love about your partners appearance.

When was the last time that you told her that her thighs absolutely kill you?

When was the last time you came up behind her and wrapped your arms around her beautiful torso and growled softly in her ear?

How long has it been since she saw the look of awe and disbelief in your eyes as you scanned her delicious body from head to toe?

Your woman craves praise and appreciation.

The feminine in every person (male or female) is nourished by praise.

So tell your partner what you like and tell them often.

Dedicated to your success,

Jordan

Ps. Do you want to honour your woman’s bod by being the best lover possible? Check out Supercharge Your Sex Life. In a matter of days you could be lasting longer, pleasing your partner more fully, and having the best sex of your entire life.

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
Dating Advice For Introverts: How Being An Introvert Helps You In Your Dating Life
Feb 16, 2013
Jordan Gray
Dating Advice For Introverts: How Being An Introvert Helps You In Your Dating Life
  Dating Advice For Introverts First of all, what is an introvert? Introversion and extroversion are some of the least properly understood terms in psychology. People assume it means whether or not you like to be around people. This is overly simplistic and simply not true. Here is the best...
Continue Reading
7 Bedtime Routines For Greater Intimacy
Oct 13, 2015
Jordan Gray
7 Bedtime Routines For Greater Intimacy
Whenever a couple comes to me looking to be proactive about their relationship (aka they're doing just fine, but they want to make some small improvements), I always ask them about what their night time routines look like. Inevitably, the usual suspects are mentioned... They brush their teeth,...
Continue Reading
Why She Should Never Be Your Equal
Apr 10, 2013
Jordan Gray
Why She Should Never Be Your Equal
You've just finished a hard day's work, and all you want to do is spend some time connecting with your partner. But they've had their own challenging day and are feeling exhausted. "Can't you just go to the gym and run off your stress? I'm in the middle of something." ... You find out that...
Continue Reading
12 Romantic Proposal Ideas For You To Steal
Apr 1, 2021
Jordan Gray
12 Romantic Proposal Ideas For You To Steal
So you’re ready to get down on one knee and tie the knot with the love of your life… Before we get to talking about ways to do it, let me grab my trumpet and set off some confetti cannons… Because that is amazing! (*Cue explosions and marching band*) The fact that you’re at a place in your relationship...
Continue Reading
5 Types Of Blowjobs You Can Give To Blow Him Away
Mar 23, 2024
Jordan Gray
5 Types Of Blowjobs You Can Give To Blow Him Away
At face value, blowjobs might seem like they're all the same. Erect penis, meet mouth. But once you graduate from the adolescent groping that happens in the backseat of your car, you might realize that there is a whole other realm of blowjob mastery to be had. You can incorporate dirty talk...
Continue Reading
A Letter To My 15 Year Old Self
Jun 8, 2019
Jordan Gray
A Letter To My 15 Year Old Self
First of all, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for all of the pain that you’re feeling. I’m sorry that you don’t feel like you have a family. That you are somehow separate… unwanted… unloved. None of that is true. Your family loves you deeply. Your friends love you deeply. You are so wanted in this world. I...
Continue Reading