Oct 9, 2016

The Pattern Gets Louder Until You Listen

Whatever pattern is trying to make itself known to you in your life, it will keep getting louder until you start paying attention to it.

Have you ever had a pattern repeatedly offered up to you to learn from, but as you ignored the initial warning signs, the pattern’s only option became making itself more apparent and in your face?

For example, the woman who attracts various partners whose lives are increasingly messy, eventually realizing she needs to start taking care of her own needs and discontinue saving other people from their messes.

Or the man who resents the career path that he has chosen… and only becomes more aware of his misalignment as his physical health deteriorates, his sleep suffers, and he starts projecting his frustration on to his friends and family members.

Or the woman whose husband continuously shows that he cannot meet her needs. First by emotionally retreating in conversations, then by being out of town more and more for work, and then by proverbially burying his head in the sand and pretending like there is nothing wrong in their marriage.

Or the man who miraculously only seems to be able to attract romantic partners who are already married, in relationship, or who live at least a five hour plane ride away… until he faces the fact that he is afraid of a truly intimate relationship.

Whatever pattern it is that you need to face in your life, it will keep coming back for you. Life has a way of forcing you to slam your head against the same brick wall, over and over, until you realize “Oh! This is a brick wall. I’m going to stop doing this now.”

What behavioural pattern do you need to shift in your life? What element of your life has been increasingly loud lately, in hopes that you will listen to it?

Maybe it’s time you listened. For your own sake.

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
Chivalry Is Far From Dead (And How Women Almost Killed It Off)
Jan 6, 2014
Jordan Gray
Chivalry Is Far From Dead (And How Women Almost Killed It Off)
There is the common misconception out there that chivalry died a painful death many years ago. Is this true? Hardly. Side note: Just so we're all on the same page here… I will define chivalry as the act of being polite to someone else (this doesn't have to be a male acting politely towards a...
Continue Reading
11 Ways To Be A More Attractive Man (or How To Fight Entropy 101)
Sep 29, 2018
Jordan Gray
11 Ways To Be A More Attractive Man (or How To Fight Entropy 101)
You know what I’m really tired of? Articles that promise the fastest, easiest, lowest-barrier-to-entry bullshit tips on how men can improve themselves. Since when are we all after the quick and easy silver bullet? Have we collectively become that lazy as a society that we’re all perpetually...
Continue Reading
Your Lone Wolf Mentality Is Killing You
Aug 6, 2017
Jordan Gray
Your Lone Wolf Mentality Is Killing You
Do you consider yourself a lone wolf? If you do, I have a message for you... Our society is currently sick. People are feeling increasingly isolated and alone. Our sense of community has been eroded. We have been given the message that you have to look out for yourself, first and foremost....
Continue Reading
Why Nice Guys Should Finish Last
Jul 18, 2013
Jordan Gray
Why Nice Guys Should Finish Last
Let’s end this whole “nice guys” myth once and for all… The term “nice guy” has been thrown around in popular culture a lot lately.  A quote unquote “nice guy” is actually a first class manipulator. (I was going to link to an Urban Dictionary definition of a nice guy here, but I found out that they...
Continue Reading
How To Recover From Extreme Burnout (Adrenal Fatigue, Exhaustion)
May 3, 2017
Jordan Gray
How To Recover From Extreme Burnout (Adrenal Fatigue, Exhaustion)
Are you currently experiencing extreme burnout? Have you been googling things like “adrenal fatigue”, “how to rest”, and “extreme tiredness”? Whether you’re experiencing burnout from a place of workaholism-induced fatigue, situational depression, or a chronic (i.e. multi-year) lack of rest, this article...
Continue Reading
The Intentional Life Ep.6: Mastering Self-Love with Ruby Fremon
Aug 7, 2016
Jordan Gray
The Intentional Life Ep.6: Mastering Self-Love with Ruby Fremon
On today's episode, Ruby Fremon and I discuss all things self-love. We talk about her difficult past, the turning point that snapped her out of her life-funk, what her pathway to self-love looked like, and her unique philosophy on what it is that actually makes us more self-loving. Ruby and I's...
Continue Reading