Oct 9, 2016

The Pattern Gets Louder Until You Listen

Whatever pattern is trying to make itself known to you in your life, it will keep getting louder until you start paying attention to it.

Have you ever had a pattern repeatedly offered up to you to learn from, but as you ignored the initial warning signs, the pattern’s only option became making itself more apparent and in your face?

For example, the woman who attracts various partners whose lives are increasingly messy, eventually realizing she needs to start taking care of her own needs and discontinue saving other people from their messes.

Or the man who resents the career path that he has chosen… and only becomes more aware of his misalignment as his physical health deteriorates, his sleep suffers, and he starts projecting his frustration on to his friends and family members.

Or the woman whose husband continuously shows that he cannot meet her needs. First by emotionally retreating in conversations, then by being out of town more and more for work, and then by proverbially burying his head in the sand and pretending like there is nothing wrong in their marriage.

Or the man who miraculously only seems to be able to attract romantic partners who are already married, in relationship, or who live at least a five hour plane ride away… until he faces the fact that he is afraid of a truly intimate relationship.

Whatever pattern it is that you need to face in your life, it will keep coming back for you. Life has a way of forcing you to slam your head against the same brick wall, over and over, until you realize “Oh! This is a brick wall. I’m going to stop doing this now.”

What behavioural pattern do you need to shift in your life? What element of your life has been increasingly loud lately, in hopes that you will listen to it?

Maybe it’s time you listened. For your own sake.

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
7 Steps To Financial Freedom
Dec 8, 2019
Jordan Gray
7 Steps To Financial Freedom
The majority of the world lives paycheque to paycheque with little to no savings in the bank. And not having money sucks. Imagine waking up in the morning with zero debt. Imagine never having to worry about how you are going to pay for your rent/mortgage/groceries ever again. Imagine waking up with...
Continue Reading
How Not Showing Interest On The First Date Is Killing Your Love Life
Jun 10, 2013
Jordan Gray
How Not Showing Interest On The First Date Is Killing Your Love Life
Contrary to popular belief, 'playing it cool' severely limits your love life. There are thousands of forums out there that perpetuate this thought - bitter men discussing how being 'open, honest and nice' doesn't pay off. But there is a big difference between showing interest in an attractive way...
Continue Reading
The 5 Books That Completely Changed My Life
Feb 8, 2020
Jordan Gray
The 5 Books That Completely Changed My Life
Today I want to tell you about the five books that have most positively impacted my life. And if you've been reading my writing for any length of time, then there's a good chance that you and I have some overlap in how we think and operate in the world. And if that's the case... well, then you might...
Continue Reading
The 3 Best Questions You Could Ever Ask Your Partner
May 16, 2015
Jordan Gray
The 3 Best Questions You Could Ever Ask Your Partner
One of the worst things that we do in our intimate relationships is make assumptions. We assume that our partners receive love in the same manner that we do. We assume that our partners expect the same things from marriage. We assume that our partner defines monogamy the same as we do. The assumptions...
Continue Reading
4 Relationship Rules To Live By
Sep 9, 2014
Jordan Gray
4 Relationship Rules To Live By
After years of self-reflection, I truly feel like I’ve found the holy grail of relationship mindset. These four rules encapsulate so much of what I believe to be true in relationships (intimate or otherwise) that I wanted to refine them into their simplest possible form before I made them public. Well,...
Continue Reading
Why Entrepreneurs Burn Out And Kill Themselves
Feb 20, 2020
Jordan Gray
Why Entrepreneurs Burn Out And Kill Themselves
Three years ago, I received news that an entrepreneur friend of mine had taken his own life. As it is with most suicides, the initial response was shock… It just didn’t add up. From the outside, things seemed to be going fairly well. He always looked sharp and broadcasted a general energy of optimism. ...
Continue Reading