Oct 9, 2016

The Pattern Gets Louder Until You Listen

Whatever pattern is trying to make itself known to you in your life, it will keep getting louder until you start paying attention to it.

Have you ever had a pattern repeatedly offered up to you to learn from, but as you ignored the initial warning signs, the pattern’s only option became making itself more apparent and in your face?

For example, the woman who attracts various partners whose lives are increasingly messy, eventually realizing she needs to start taking care of her own needs and discontinue saving other people from their messes.

Or the man who resents the career path that he has chosen… and only becomes more aware of his misalignment as his physical health deteriorates, his sleep suffers, and he starts projecting his frustration on to his friends and family members.

Or the woman whose husband continuously shows that he cannot meet her needs. First by emotionally retreating in conversations, then by being out of town more and more for work, and then by proverbially burying his head in the sand and pretending like there is nothing wrong in their marriage.

Or the man who miraculously only seems to be able to attract romantic partners who are already married, in relationship, or who live at least a five hour plane ride away… until he faces the fact that he is afraid of a truly intimate relationship.

Whatever pattern it is that you need to face in your life, it will keep coming back for you. Life has a way of forcing you to slam your head against the same brick wall, over and over, until you realize “Oh! This is a brick wall. I’m going to stop doing this now.”

What behavioural pattern do you need to shift in your life? What element of your life has been increasingly loud lately, in hopes that you will listen to it?

Maybe it’s time you listened. For your own sake.

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
How To Be A REAL Man (In 3 Easy Steps)
Jun 26, 2014
Jordan Gray
How To Be A REAL Man (In 3 Easy Steps)
I remember wondering endlessly if I was gay as a young boy. Why? Because I consistently got the feedback from my male peers that I wasn't a traditional male. As my male friends played basketball to impress the girls in our class, I sat on the sidelines and 'gossiped' with my female classmates. While...
Continue Reading
Stop Lying To Yourself
Aug 18, 2017
Jordan Gray
Stop Lying To Yourself
If “the truth shall set you free”, then lying to yourself will imprison you. Adults are phenomenally adept at avoiding the truth. In fact, most of society (and the majority of social interactions in general) are founded on overt and covert lies. Enabling. Half-truths. White-lies. Whatever you want...
Continue Reading
6 Simple Steps To Ruin A Relationship
Feb 25, 2014
Jordan Gray
6 Simple Steps To Ruin A Relationship
You've seen them… Walking down the street hand in hand… gazing lovingly at each other… ridiculously large smiles plastered across their face... That's right… I'm talking about happy couples. How revolting. Make sure you never become like those people by following these six simple steps to...
Continue Reading
How Valuable Are You As A Partner?
Dec 2, 2013
Jordan Gray
How Valuable Are You As A Partner?
Are you continually making an effort to be the best partner possible? Here's the thing… it's easy to coast in life. You can get a job that's good enough to pay the bills, be in good enough shape to take the stairs without getting winded, and be a good enough partner that your significant other doesn't...
Continue Reading
4 Ways To Be More Fully Alive
Feb 24, 2018
Jordan Gray
4 Ways To Be More Fully Alive
Here is an unfortunate, but devastatingly truthful fact: Most people in modern day developed nations are numbed out, half-asleep, and living lives of quiet despair. They are disconnected from their bodies, glued to their digital devices, and have little to no social contact of any depth or emotional...
Continue Reading
How Making Mistakes Gets You Ahead In Life
May 9, 2013
Jordan Gray
How Making Mistakes Gets You Ahead In Life
Are you worried that you are messing up a lot in your life? One of the most common concerns that I get from my clients is that they feel like they are failing. They feel like they are failing in life… in their careers… and in their relationships. If you sometimes feel this way, then you are exactly...
Continue Reading