Oct 9, 2016

The Pattern Gets Louder Until You Listen

Whatever pattern is trying to make itself known to you in your life, it will keep getting louder until you start paying attention to it.

Have you ever had a pattern repeatedly offered up to you to learn from, but as you ignored the initial warning signs, the pattern’s only option became making itself more apparent and in your face?

For example, the woman who attracts various partners whose lives are increasingly messy, eventually realizing she needs to start taking care of her own needs and discontinue saving other people from their messes.

Or the man who resents the career path that he has chosen… and only becomes more aware of his misalignment as his physical health deteriorates, his sleep suffers, and he starts projecting his frustration on to his friends and family members.

Or the woman whose husband continuously shows that he cannot meet her needs. First by emotionally retreating in conversations, then by being out of town more and more for work, and then by proverbially burying his head in the sand and pretending like there is nothing wrong in their marriage.

Or the man who miraculously only seems to be able to attract romantic partners who are already married, in relationship, or who live at least a five hour plane ride away… until he faces the fact that he is afraid of a truly intimate relationship.

Whatever pattern it is that you need to face in your life, it will keep coming back for you. Life has a way of forcing you to slam your head against the same brick wall, over and over, until you realize “Oh! This is a brick wall. I’m going to stop doing this now.”

What behavioural pattern do you need to shift in your life? What element of your life has been increasingly loud lately, in hopes that you will listen to it?

Maybe it’s time you listened. For your own sake.

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
One Tip That’s Guaranteed To Improve Your Relationship
Oct 14, 2014
Jordan Gray
One Tip That’s Guaranteed To Improve Your Relationship
A tip that’s guaranteed to improve your relationship, hmm? A bold claim? Not in the slightest. This is absolute fact and it’s something that I’ve been recommending to my clients for years. But first, a quick story. The Money Hungry Entrepreneur With A Suffering Home Life I once had a client...
Continue Reading
Wanted: Strong Men For Soft Times
Jan 5, 2020
Jordan Gray
Wanted: Strong Men For Soft Times
The majority of modern men are soft. And the world is suffering as a result. We live in a time of unprecedented prosperity and ease. And before you point your finger at the billionaires at the top, point your finger back at yourself and acknowledge just how fucking easy your life is compared to the...
Continue Reading
3 Crazy Effective Workouts For Lazy People
Feb 17, 2017
Jordan Gray
3 Crazy Effective Workouts For Lazy People
I have a confession to make... In many areas of my life, I am a ridiculously lazy person. The most pronounced part of my life where this shows up is in how I exercise. You see, I absolutely adore the benefits that I get from exercising (primarily: better quality sleep, creativity, resilience to getting...
Continue Reading
How To Get Your Social Needs Met While Social Distancing
Mar 19, 2020
Jordan Gray
How To Get Your Social Needs Met While Social Distancing
SO! There’s a worldwide pandemic and your local government has told you to engage in social distancing for an unknown amount of time and you want to NOT go crazy? I’ve got you covered. We humans are a social species. In other words, we need each other in order to thrive. And not knowing how long we’ll...
Continue Reading
7 Things I Want You To Remember If I Die Young
Nov 10, 2018
Jordan Gray
7 Things I Want You To Remember If I Die Young
I’ve lost two close friends over the past few years. One was 25 years old, the other was 30. And, without hyperbole or rose-coloured glasses on my face, I can easily say that they were both some of the best people I have ever known. The kind of people that make me think ‘Only the good die young’...
Continue Reading
Jordan’s Love List (Books, Music, Food, Sex Toys, & More)
Dec 3, 2015
Jordan Gray
Jordan’s Love List (Books, Music, Food, Sex Toys, & More)
I frequently get asked for recommendations about some fairly random things. And there's never been any neat, simple place to publicize those responses to people. So this year I’m starting a new tradition. Once per year, I’m going to release my new list of favourites. Favourite what, you ask? Favourite...
Continue Reading