Oct 9, 2016

The Pattern Gets Louder Until You Listen

Whatever pattern is trying to make itself known to you in your life, it will keep getting louder until you start paying attention to it.

Have you ever had a pattern repeatedly offered up to you to learn from, but as you ignored the initial warning signs, the pattern’s only option became making itself more apparent and in your face?

For example, the woman who attracts various partners whose lives are increasingly messy, eventually realizing she needs to start taking care of her own needs and discontinue saving other people from their messes.

Or the man who resents the career path that he has chosen… and only becomes more aware of his misalignment as his physical health deteriorates, his sleep suffers, and he starts projecting his frustration on to his friends and family members.

Or the woman whose husband continuously shows that he cannot meet her needs. First by emotionally retreating in conversations, then by being out of town more and more for work, and then by proverbially burying his head in the sand and pretending like there is nothing wrong in their marriage.

Or the man who miraculously only seems to be able to attract romantic partners who are already married, in relationship, or who live at least a five hour plane ride away… until he faces the fact that he is afraid of a truly intimate relationship.

Whatever pattern it is that you need to face in your life, it will keep coming back for you. Life has a way of forcing you to slam your head against the same brick wall, over and over, until you realize “Oh! This is a brick wall. I’m going to stop doing this now.”

What behavioural pattern do you need to shift in your life? What element of your life has been increasingly loud lately, in hopes that you will listen to it?

Maybe it’s time you listened. For your own sake.

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
How I Overcame Sexual Addiction
Sep 25, 2016
Jordan Gray
How I Overcame Sexual Addiction
"My name is Jordan, and I'm a sex addict." As soon as the words left my mouth, I felt like a total impostor. The men and women seated around me, legs crossed and arms folded, draped over orange plastic chairs, would see right through me any second now. Even though I was staring down at the floor, I...
Continue Reading
How Making Mistakes Gets You Ahead In Life
May 9, 2013
Jordan Gray
How Making Mistakes Gets You Ahead In Life
Are you worried that you are messing up a lot in your life? One of the most common concerns that I get from my clients is that they feel like they are failing. They feel like they are failing in life… in their careers… and in their relationships. If you sometimes feel this way, then you are exactly...
Continue Reading
Unrealized Potential Is The Default, Not The Exception
Dec 21, 2018
Jordan Gray
Unrealized Potential Is The Default, Not The Exception
On January 18th, 1779, a young boy named Peter was born in London, England. Peter grew up in a small home with his mother, father, and younger sister. When Peter was just four years old, his father died, and it left a terrible mark on his heart. He felt powerless and heartbroken to have lost someone...
Continue Reading
How To Finally Get Over Your Ex (Even If It Feels Impossible)
Jun 2, 2014
Jordan Gray
How To Finally Get Over Your Ex (Even If It Feels Impossible)
Having trouble getting over your ex? Do you miss the way that they looked at you? The way that they smelled? The way their hand felt in yours? Do you think you see them walking down the street when really it's a stranger? Do you still hear certain music that reminds you of them? When someone...
Continue Reading
9 Things Everyone Should Know About Money
Sep 23, 2018
Jordan Gray
9 Things Everyone Should Know About Money
I grew up in a fairly financially literate household. My dad was a serial entrepreneur with a high tolerance for calculated risk, and my mom was the more conservative one who had a mind for resourcefulness. In short, my dad earned and my mom saved, and they made a great match for each other...
Continue Reading
10 Ways For Men To Sharpen Their Sword 
Jun 2, 2020
Jordan Gray
10 Ways For Men To Sharpen Their Sword 
If you want to become a more effective and powerful man, it will require methodical training and conquering challenges. Now, if you’ve been reading my other writing on integrating your masculinity and becoming a stronger person, you’ll find that I might often stress the inner work, or, more specifically,...
Continue Reading