Oct 9, 2016

The Pattern Gets Louder Until You Listen

Whatever pattern is trying to make itself known to you in your life, it will keep getting louder until you start paying attention to it.

Have you ever had a pattern repeatedly offered up to you to learn from, but as you ignored the initial warning signs, the pattern’s only option became making itself more apparent and in your face?

For example, the woman who attracts various partners whose lives are increasingly messy, eventually realizing she needs to start taking care of her own needs and discontinue saving other people from their messes.

Or the man who resents the career path that he has chosen… and only becomes more aware of his misalignment as his physical health deteriorates, his sleep suffers, and he starts projecting his frustration on to his friends and family members.

Or the woman whose husband continuously shows that he cannot meet her needs. First by emotionally retreating in conversations, then by being out of town more and more for work, and then by proverbially burying his head in the sand and pretending like there is nothing wrong in their marriage.

Or the man who miraculously only seems to be able to attract romantic partners who are already married, in relationship, or who live at least a five hour plane ride away… until he faces the fact that he is afraid of a truly intimate relationship.

Whatever pattern it is that you need to face in your life, it will keep coming back for you. Life has a way of forcing you to slam your head against the same brick wall, over and over, until you realize “Oh! This is a brick wall. I’m going to stop doing this now.”

What behavioural pattern do you need to shift in your life? What element of your life has been increasingly loud lately, in hopes that you will listen to it?

Maybe it’s time you listened. For your own sake.

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
How To Overhaul Your Entire Life In 5 Easy Steps
Jan 17, 2016
Jordan Gray
How To Overhaul Your Entire Life In 5 Easy Steps
I was lying on the sidewalk. Cold, January concrete supporting my head. Tears streaming down the sides of my face towards my ears. Over a dozen pairs of feet raced by me before someone acknowledged my strange placement. “Are you alright brother?”, an eventual stranger asked. “I think I might be having...
Continue Reading
7 Things I Will Tell My Children About Love And Life
Aug 20, 2017
Jordan Gray
7 Things I Will Tell My Children About Love And Life
I don't have any children. And, at this point in my life, I don't know if I'll ever have them. As one of my mentors likes to say, maybe I'll just be a "parent to adults" for the rest of my life. If I do have children of my own one day (adopted or biological), this is what I'll want them to know. And...
Continue Reading
How To Start And Run A Men's Group Successfully
Oct 6, 2018
Jordan Gray
How To Start And Run A Men’s Group Successfully
Ever thought of joining (or being in) a weekly men's group? Do you hear the concept of men's groups popping up more and more in the cultural lexicon and you're curious as to what they're all about? Over the last four years I have been a member of a weekly men's group. I have mentioned this in...
Continue Reading
This Is The Point Of Life
Jan 21, 2017
Jordan Gray
This Is The Point Of Life
We take life so seriously. We’re running from one milestone to the next… thinking that all we are is the sum total of our accomplishments. “Forget human being… I’m a human doing!”, cries the collective wounded unconscious. But we forgot something that our inner child still remembers... The point...
Continue Reading
5 Innovative Ways To Get Over Your Ex
Jul 3, 2013
Jordan Gray
5 Innovative Ways To Get Over Your Ex
Breaking up sucks. It's hard to get over someone that you were so close with. Your brain was chemically addicted to them, and now your drug of choice is gone. Whether it's been a couple of days, weeks, or years, you still feel some old emotional residue around that certain someone. With a couple...
Continue Reading
How Your Childhood Is Messing Up Your Love Life
Feb 10, 2014
Jordan Gray
How Your Childhood Is Messing Up Your Love Life
Growing up, you were completely at the will of your parents. Depending on how much love, time, and attention your parents gave you, their involvement in your life undoubtedly affected how you show up in your romantic relationships. If they were there for you, never there for you, or too...
Continue Reading