Oct 9, 2016

The Pattern Gets Louder Until You Listen

Whatever pattern is trying to make itself known to you in your life, it will keep getting louder until you start paying attention to it.

Have you ever had a pattern repeatedly offered up to you to learn from, but as you ignored the initial warning signs, the pattern’s only option became making itself more apparent and in your face?

For example, the woman who attracts various partners whose lives are increasingly messy, eventually realizing she needs to start taking care of her own needs and discontinue saving other people from their messes.

Or the man who resents the career path that he has chosen… and only becomes more aware of his misalignment as his physical health deteriorates, his sleep suffers, and he starts projecting his frustration on to his friends and family members.

Or the woman whose husband continuously shows that he cannot meet her needs. First by emotionally retreating in conversations, then by being out of town more and more for work, and then by proverbially burying his head in the sand and pretending like there is nothing wrong in their marriage.

Or the man who miraculously only seems to be able to attract romantic partners who are already married, in relationship, or who live at least a five hour plane ride away… until he faces the fact that he is afraid of a truly intimate relationship.

Whatever pattern it is that you need to face in your life, it will keep coming back for you. Life has a way of forcing you to slam your head against the same brick wall, over and over, until you realize “Oh! This is a brick wall. I’m going to stop doing this now.”

What behavioural pattern do you need to shift in your life? What element of your life has been increasingly loud lately, in hopes that you will listen to it?

Maybe it’s time you listened. For your own sake.

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
Wanted: Strong Men For Soft Times
Jan 5, 2020
Jordan Gray
Wanted: Strong Men For Soft Times
The majority of modern men are soft. And the world is suffering as a result. We live in a time of unprecedented prosperity and ease. And before you point your finger at the billionaires at the top, point your finger back at yourself and acknowledge just how fucking easy your life is compared to the...
Continue Reading
This Is The One Thing You Always Have Control Over
Feb 21, 2016
Jordan Gray
This Is The One Thing You Always Have Control Over
We really can’t control much of anything in our funny little lives. We grasp for control. We grasp for meaning. We grasp for a semblance of purpose in everything that we do. In my opinion, there’s only one thing that we can ever truly control. And I’ll tell you what that is. But first, a story. My...
Continue Reading
How To Know If You Are A Catch: A Quiz
Sep 4, 2024
Jordan Gray
How To Know If You Are A Catch: A Quiz
So you think you're a catch, but how can you know for sure? Your friends aren't the most reliable source to ask, because they're biased. And you can't just go ask your exes, because, you know, they're your exes. Here's what I can offer you. Read through the following 100 questions. For every...
Continue Reading
Givers and Takers: How To Make Sure Your Relationship Lasts
May 10, 2015
Jordan Gray
Givers and Takers: How To Make Sure Your Relationship Lasts
I have worked with countless couples over the past several years on helping them have the most intensely satisfying intimate relationships possible. And through my time as a relationship coach I have noticed a major trend. There are two primary types of couples that come to me… Couples that are struggling...
Continue Reading
The Real Reason You're Disconnected From Your Body
Aug 5, 2017
Jordan Gray
The Real Reason You’re Disconnected From Your Body
Whether you numb yourself with work, alcohol, sex, drugs, constant social stimulation, sleeping 12+ hours a day, or anything else you use... Whether you're afraid to meditate, go to bed at night and be alone with your racing thoughts, sit still and breathe for a few minutes, or you're constantly busying...
Continue Reading
Why Entrepreneurs Need To Invest In Their Relationships
Mar 10, 2014
Jordan Gray
Why Entrepreneurs Need To Invest In Their Relationships
How many books have you read in the past year on business? Have that number in your mind? Alright, hold on to that. Now, how many books have you read on intimacy and relationships? If the number is more than a 2:1 ratio in favour of business books, you might want to seriously re-consider your...
Continue Reading