Words are powerful.
With a simple sentence we can bolster, boost, encourage, or strengthen someone….
And with a different choice of words we can shame, crush, undermine, destroy, or decimate.
After releasing my article 5 Types Of Compliments That Melt A Man’s Heart, a few women reached out to me asking if there were any words or phrases that reigned supreme in the realm of making their man feel loved.
And don’t worry… no superficial fluff here. You won’t find any encouragement to widen your eyes, tilt your head, kick up one heel and say ‘You’re my hero!’ in this piece.
After working with thousands of men from all around the world, I have compiled the following four phrases.
Can words really make a man fall in love? As in, take him from cold-fish who’s never heard of you and turn him into a follow-you-to-the-ends-of-the-earth, slobbering love-slave? No. No they can’t.
But the following four phrases can absolutely drastically increase the levels of love, connection, and harmony in an existing relationship.
The Phrases Do The Heavy Lifting, But Congruence Is What Makes Them Work
One important warning before we get into the four phrases…
These words are powerful… no doubt.
But it is the congruence with what is being said that really makes them work.
In other words, if you say these words without believing them, they will fall flat.
Now, you don’t have to believe them 100%, 100% of the time. There’s absolutely room for humans to be human here.
But you have to solidly feel that the statement is true, at least a good percentage of the time, in order for it to truly land for your man.
If you say it just to say it, he will be able to feel the difference.
But if you say it, and you mean it, it will make his heart soar.
Okay, ready for the four phrases?
Here we go.
4 Powerful Phrases That Make Any Man’s Heart Melt
1. ‘I trust you.’
Deep down, the vast majority of men want to feel respected, honoured, and above all… trusted.
Not trusting a man… not trusting his word… when he has consistently shown himself to be trustworthy is a quick way to energetically castrate him.
Again, I want to do away with black and white thinking here.
When I say that he needs to have been consistent with his word, I am not saying that in order for you to trust him he needs to have never told a white lie… or deviated in his truth in the slightest. Such rigid expectations don’t leave much room for the reality of being human, regardless of gender.
But if you know your man to be a good man, and you do have a deep trust in him, let him know.
Tell him explicitly, ‘I trust you.’
This phrase doesn’t have to be stated during a big, sit-down moment while you’re both seated in lotus position. You can simply slide it into conversation when he asks you what you want to do for your upcoming date night and you honestly don’t have a strong preference.
‘I trust you.’
If it’s true? Or at least true to a significant degree in all of the ways that most matter to you? Let him know.
2. ‘I believe in you.’
A man’s life, in many ways, can feel like a never-ending saga of slaying dragons (both internally, and out in the world).
And for such men, spending time with his significant other can sometimes be the only time he can really let down his guard, remove his mask, and be his fullest, most vulnerable self.
Due to this split (of needing to be ‘on’ in the world and then coming home and showing more of his authentic self to his lover) there can be a subtle, underlying fear that his partner… his number one advocate trusts him less because of how human he is around her.
To counteract this low level fear (that most men either aren’t aware of, or wouldn’t admit even if they were), it’s important to let him know that you believe in him.
That you believe in his mission. You believe in his capacity as a father. That you believe in all that he is up to in the world.
‘I believe in you.’
Again, only if it’s true.
Let him know, directly, and watch him grow stronger like a bonfire with a fresh gust of wind at its base.
3. ‘I’ve got your back.’ / ‘We’re a team.’
Let’s face it… the world can be ruthless.
In the default word of ego, there is a lot of dog-eat-dog, backstabbing, competitive toughness to navigate.
Especially when it comes to the world of career and finance, many men can feel like they are charging into battle as an army of one on a daily basis.
Is it any wonder that it was common practice for men in the army to carry a photograph of their girlfriends/wives as they went into battle? Men want a Queen to do battle for. A good man wants to make your life as amazing as possible. He wants to fight for you. To improve the standard of your life on a daily basis. To be an asset, and not a liability.
And while this lone-wolf, adventurous, battle of one appeals to the wild heart of many a man, they also like to know that, ultimately, it isn’t just them out there. That there’s someone who’s in the trenches with him, even if it’s just the spirit of you and your loving support.
For some women, ‘I’ve got your back’ works as a phrase. For some women, that sentence sounds a bit too masculine… and they think that men should say those words to other men. In those instances, ‘We’re a team’, would be the equally powerful equivalent.
Letting him know, in no uncertain terms, that while you appreciate his heroic efforts that benefit you, your family, your friends, and the wider community… you are right there with him.
This phrase is especially powerful for any man who leans more towards avoidant attachment, who has struggled with lone-wolf’ing it a bit too hard through life, or who had a patchy (or non-existent) version of family growing up.
4. ‘You are such a good man.’
Ahh the all-powerful catch-all.
Again, when you truly believe and can embody these words, they melt a man’s heart faster than just about anything can.
In a cultural time when being male is demonized, attacked, and scrutinized like never before… reminding your man that, in your eyes, he is a good one can do a lot for him.
Say it on your next date night. Say it at the dinner table in front of your kids. Say it to him before you both drift off to sleep, at the end of a day when he has especially shown up well for you and your family.
Say it directly and earnestly, and I promise you he won’t soon forget it.
Use Them As Often As You Feel It
Because of the potency of these phrases, you don’t want to abuse them.
Any technique can lose its potency if you lean on them as your default praise.
But sprinkling them in, like the spice in a meal, every few weeks or months can do wonders for your relationship.
I hope that these phrases serve you well, and that you use them responsibly.
Also, if you are a woman who loves men and wants to improve her relationships with men, I would highly recommend checking out the following.
Inside The Male Mind – over 15,000+ women from all over the world have benefitted from this powerful program. In this course, you will learn men’s darkest fears, deepest secrets, and most hidden desires.
The Circle – my online community where I offer weekly coaching calls, and a variety of exclusive courses on topics like self-love, boundaries, assertiveness, money, grief, and more!
Dedicated to your success,
Jordan
Ps. If you enjoyed this article, you will also love checking out:
– 5 Types Of Compliments That Melt A Man’s Heart
– 4 Things To Never Say To A Man
– 10 Simple Ways To Immediately Be More Attractive To Your Man
