Mar 2, 2013

Take The Leap

Take The Leap

I am three hours away from leaving my hometown on a one-way ticket to Asia. My small carry-on, sitting in the corner of my bedroom, has been packed for weeks. I told my girlfriend that I had packed it because I was so excited to leave, but if I’m being honest with myself, a large part of why I packed early was because I was afraid of leaving and I had hoped that the packed bag would convince me that I wasn’t.

My cell phone has been disabled and put into storage, I’ve attended all of the going-away parties, and there’s nothing left to do but get on the plane.

Thoughts race through my mind at a rapid pace. What if I hate it there? What if this is the last thing I need right now? What if I’m homesick the entire time?

I take a deep breath, the wind in my lungs dissipating my worries.

Fuck it. Take the leap.

TakingLeap

What call are you afraid of making in your life?

Is it time that you ended a relationship with an old friend? Do you need to leave your partner because you know she isn’t the one for you? Do you hate your job?

You have a few decades left to live… are you going to spend them being miserable? Maybe miserable is too strong of a word, but your life is calling for some drastic action right now.

At a certain point, after you analyze, prepare, and decide what you need to do, you just need to take the leap.

The decision is obvious, but the reality is terrifying.

We all experience that. As men, we are often afraid to admit uncertainty or weakness in any form. I experience nervousness, fear, and uncertainty just as much as any other guy (maybe even more because I am so relentless with myself about becoming self-actualized). There is nothing more normal than fear. There is a quote that I love that goes, “The more personal, the more universal”. It’s basically saying that every little thing that you think that no one should ever find out about you (because it is SO embarrassing) is a sure sign that everyone experiences that same feeling. And probably on a frequent basis.

What is not normal, is having your life be run by fear. Some fear is healthy, an over-abundance of fear is damaging and limits your entire life in every way.

See that girl you’re attracted to? Go talk to her. You don’t know what to say? Start with “Hi”. Then go from there.

You know the job that you feel stuck in and you dislike so much? You can leave it. You can find another job. That other job might have to pay less for a while, but guess what, you’ll be happy again.

Do you feel like a lot of your friends don’t really have your best interests at heart? Stop hanging out with them. The great thing about living in a world with seven billion people is that you can choose to make new friends. Sounds good right? Try it out!

So what call are you not making in your life?

As scary as it may seem, you will probably grow from it… just as I am about to grow by moving to Asia for a while.

Is it scary?  Absolutely.

Is it worth it?  Always.

Take the leap.

(Ps. As I write these words I am now two months in to my travels and have already grown so much as a person (and wrote three books). I took the leap and it was worth it. Like it always is. I’ll be posting a video of my travels soon)

(Update: Here is the video that I alluded to… my first month traveling/scuba diving/rock climbing through Asia – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4n58ZgCy76g )

Me, taking a leap in Thailand

Me, taking a leap in Thailand

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
Help Your Partner Work Through Past Sexual Abuse In 3 Steps
Jul 6, 2015
Jordan Gray
Help Your Partner Work Through Past Sexual Abuse In 3 Steps
Although this is the first time I’ve written about it publicly, the issue of sexual abuse is one that is very important to me. I have had multiple friends and lovers who have had sexual abuse in their past (either early childhood or later in life) and, with the average statistic saying that 1 in 3 women...
Continue Reading
8 Man Skills Every Man Should Know
Dec 15, 2019
Jordan Gray
8 Man Skills Every Man Should Know
Something I’ve learned from years in men’s work is that for most guys to really feel like men, they need to be initiated into manhood by a community of other guys, especially older ones. This is where they learn certain skills and ways of living. Most importantly, this initiatory process of...
Continue Reading
How Not Showing Interest On The First Date Is Killing Your Love Life
Jun 10, 2013
Jordan Gray
How Not Showing Interest On The First Date Is Killing Your Love Life
Contrary to popular belief, 'playing it cool' severely limits your love life. There are thousands of forums out there that perpetuate this thought - bitter men discussing how being 'open, honest and nice' doesn't pay off. But there is a big difference between showing interest in an attractive way...
Continue Reading
Jordan's Top 10 Sex & Relationship Articles Of 2015
Dec 4, 2015
Jordan Gray
Jordan’s Top 10 Sex & Relationship Articles Of 2015
Happy almost 2016! Today, I want to do something a little bit different. This is a round up of all of the best articles I've written over the past year. I did something like this two years ago, and I thought it was time to bring it back. So without further ado... Here are my top ten most...
Continue Reading
The Differences Between Boy And Man Psychology
Sep 3, 2013
Jordan Gray
The Differences Between Boy And Man Psychology
Do you ever have moments when you feel like a boy trapped in a man's body? We all do at some points in our interactions with others. You find yourself picking a fight over something insignificant. Or feeling jealous of another man's business success. Or becoming whiny when your partner says she's...
Continue Reading
Love Them In A Way That Makes Them More Free
Jan 11, 2019
Jordan Gray
Love Them In A Way That Makes Them More Free
The majority of modern relationships are based off of fear. Marriages that are more about possessiveness than about love. Unspoken codependent social contracts abound. Jealousy, game playing, and manipulation are more the default than the exception. So, if trying to possess or control someone is the...
Continue Reading