Mar 2, 2013

Take The Leap

Take The Leap

I am three hours away from leaving my hometown on a one-way ticket to Asia. My small carry-on, sitting in the corner of my bedroom, has been packed for weeks. I told my girlfriend that I had packed it because I was so excited to leave, but if I’m being honest with myself, a large part of why I packed early was because I was afraid of leaving and I had hoped that the packed bag would convince me that I wasn’t.

My cell phone has been disabled and put into storage, I’ve attended all of the going-away parties, and there’s nothing left to do but get on the plane.

Thoughts race through my mind at a rapid pace. What if I hate it there? What if this is the last thing I need right now? What if I’m homesick the entire time?

I take a deep breath, the wind in my lungs dissipating my worries.

Fuck it. Take the leap.

TakingLeap

What call are you afraid of making in your life?

Is it time that you ended a relationship with an old friend? Do you need to leave your partner because you know she isn’t the one for you? Do you hate your job?

You have a few decades left to live… are you going to spend them being miserable? Maybe miserable is too strong of a word, but your life is calling for some drastic action right now.

At a certain point, after you analyze, prepare, and decide what you need to do, you just need to take the leap.

The decision is obvious, but the reality is terrifying.

We all experience that. As men, we are often afraid to admit uncertainty or weakness in any form. I experience nervousness, fear, and uncertainty just as much as any other guy (maybe even more because I am so relentless with myself about becoming self-actualized). There is nothing more normal than fear. There is a quote that I love that goes, “The more personal, the more universal”. It’s basically saying that every little thing that you think that no one should ever find out about you (because it is SO embarrassing) is a sure sign that everyone experiences that same feeling. And probably on a frequent basis.

What is not normal, is having your life be run by fear. Some fear is healthy, an over-abundance of fear is damaging and limits your entire life in every way.

See that girl you’re attracted to? Go talk to her. You don’t know what to say? Start with “Hi”. Then go from there.

You know the job that you feel stuck in and you dislike so much? You can leave it. You can find another job. That other job might have to pay less for a while, but guess what, you’ll be happy again.

Do you feel like a lot of your friends don’t really have your best interests at heart? Stop hanging out with them. The great thing about living in a world with seven billion people is that you can choose to make new friends. Sounds good right? Try it out!

So what call are you not making in your life?

As scary as it may seem, you will probably grow from it… just as I am about to grow by moving to Asia for a while.

Is it scary?  Absolutely.

Is it worth it?  Always.

Take the leap.

(Ps. As I write these words I am now two months in to my travels and have already grown so much as a person (and wrote three books). I took the leap and it was worth it. Like it always is. I’ll be posting a video of my travels soon)

(Update: Here is the video that I alluded to… my first month traveling/scuba diving/rock climbing through Asia – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4n58ZgCy76g )

Me, taking a leap in Thailand

Me, taking a leap in Thailand

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
Half A Dozen Hacks For Becoming Anyone's Most Amazing Friend
Jul 31, 2013
Jordan Gray
Half A Dozen Hacks For Becoming Anyone’s Most Amazing Friend
The word 'friend' has been diluted in a post-Facebook world. If you were born after 1980 it's highly likely that you have somewhere between 200 to 2,000 'friends' on social media. With 'friends' being such a dispensable resource, it's easy to put less importance on them. But what about true...
Continue Reading
How To Finally Get Over Your Ex (Even If It Feels Impossible)
Jun 2, 2014
Jordan Gray
How To Finally Get Over Your Ex (Even If It Feels Impossible)
Having trouble getting over your ex? Do you miss the way that they looked at you? The way that they smelled? The way their hand felt in yours? Do you think you see them walking down the street when really it's a stranger? Do you still hear certain music that reminds you of them? When someone...
Continue Reading
The Importance Of Honouring Your Standards
Apr 14, 2016
Jordan Gray
The Importance Of Honouring Your Standards
This question came in from a reader yesterday… - “I’ve been sleeping with a guy for the past ten months, I communicated to him early on that I was looking for something more serious and he seemed open to it. But every time I brought up the conversation of taking our relationship to the next level...
Continue Reading
How To Apologize Like A Man
Mar 26, 2013
Jordan Gray
How To Apologize Like A Man
How to Apologize Like A Man Most men have an issue with apologizing.  More specifically, most men have a problem with showing anything that could be perceived as weakness. We have internalized from a young age that if we ever feel out of control, or unsure of ourselves, we should...
Continue Reading
How To Heal Your Most Debilitating Core Wounds
Sep 24, 2017
Jordan Gray
How To Heal Your Most Debilitating Core Wounds
"I am a burden and a mistake." "All love that is offered to me is fragile and a lie." "Everyone I love secretly hates me and wants me to kill myself." These are the beliefs that dominated me for the majority of my life. I am the youngest of three children in my family. From...
Continue Reading
6 Ways To Build Emotional Resilience (And Become Unfuckwithable)
Feb 21, 2020
Jordan Gray
6 Ways To Build Emotional Resilience (And Become Unfuckwithable)
To be alive is to be at constant risk of facing intense pain. Hard things will happen to all of us. Buddha’s first noble truth said it well: “Life is suffering.” Unforeseen tragedy will strike. The people you love will eventually pass away, or become sick. Some things you’ve worked on for years will...
Continue Reading