Mar 2, 2013

Take The Leap

Take The Leap

I am three hours away from leaving my hometown on a one-way ticket to Asia. My small carry-on, sitting in the corner of my bedroom, has been packed for weeks. I told my girlfriend that I had packed it because I was so excited to leave, but if I’m being honest with myself, a large part of why I packed early was because I was afraid of leaving and I had hoped that the packed bag would convince me that I wasn’t.

My cell phone has been disabled and put into storage, I’ve attended all of the going-away parties, and there’s nothing left to do but get on the plane.

Thoughts race through my mind at a rapid pace. What if I hate it there? What if this is the last thing I need right now? What if I’m homesick the entire time?

I take a deep breath, the wind in my lungs dissipating my worries.

Fuck it. Take the leap.

TakingLeap

What call are you afraid of making in your life?

Is it time that you ended a relationship with an old friend? Do you need to leave your partner because you know she isn’t the one for you? Do you hate your job?

You have a few decades left to live… are you going to spend them being miserable? Maybe miserable is too strong of a word, but your life is calling for some drastic action right now.

At a certain point, after you analyze, prepare, and decide what you need to do, you just need to take the leap.

The decision is obvious, but the reality is terrifying.

We all experience that. As men, we are often afraid to admit uncertainty or weakness in any form. I experience nervousness, fear, and uncertainty just as much as any other guy (maybe even more because I am so relentless with myself about becoming self-actualized). There is nothing more normal than fear. There is a quote that I love that goes, “The more personal, the more universal”. It’s basically saying that every little thing that you think that no one should ever find out about you (because it is SO embarrassing) is a sure sign that everyone experiences that same feeling. And probably on a frequent basis.

What is not normal, is having your life be run by fear. Some fear is healthy, an over-abundance of fear is damaging and limits your entire life in every way.

See that girl you’re attracted to? Go talk to her. You don’t know what to say? Start with “Hi”. Then go from there.

You know the job that you feel stuck in and you dislike so much? You can leave it. You can find another job. That other job might have to pay less for a while, but guess what, you’ll be happy again.

Do you feel like a lot of your friends don’t really have your best interests at heart? Stop hanging out with them. The great thing about living in a world with seven billion people is that you can choose to make new friends. Sounds good right? Try it out!

So what call are you not making in your life?

As scary as it may seem, you will probably grow from it… just as I am about to grow by moving to Asia for a while.

Is it scary?  Absolutely.

Is it worth it?  Always.

Take the leap.

(Ps. As I write these words I am now two months in to my travels and have already grown so much as a person (and wrote three books). I took the leap and it was worth it. Like it always is. I’ll be posting a video of my travels soon)

(Update: Here is the video that I alluded to… my first month traveling/scuba diving/rock climbing through Asia – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4n58ZgCy76g )

Me, taking a leap in Thailand

Me, taking a leap in Thailand

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 18 years, with his work reaching over 250 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading a book, working out with his trainer, or spending time with his wife and son on the East Coast of the United States.

Blog

Related

See All
Why Nice Guys Should Finish Last
Jul 18, 2013
Jordan Gray
Why Nice Guys Should Finish Last
Let’s end this whole “nice guys” myth once and for all… The term “nice guy” has been thrown around in popular culture a lot lately.  A quote unquote “nice guy” is actually a first class manipulator. (I was going to link to an Urban Dictionary definition of a nice guy here, but I found out that they...
Continue Reading
How To Know If A Woman Is Attracted To You Or Your Lifestyle
Mar 17, 2014
Jordan Gray
How To Know If A Woman Is Attracted To You Or Your Lifestyle
Tell me if this sounds familiar… I recently went on a date. And less than ten minutes into the date the woman sitting across from me asked me what I did for a living (a completely reasonable question). When I told her that I am a self-employed relationship coach and had written four books, she...
Continue Reading
6 Connection Exercises For Couples To Build Intimacy
Nov 18, 2014
Jordan Gray
6 Connection Exercises For Couples To Build Intimacy
Over the past few years I’ve compiled a collection of connection exercises that have helped couples from all walks of life increase their intimacy and sense of connectedness. The couples that tend to flock towards coaching with me are not people who are on the brink of divorce but people who are already...
Continue Reading
10 Questions To Ask To Go Deep In Your Relationship
Aug 19, 2014
Jordan Gray
10 Questions To Ask To Go Deep In Your Relationship
Let’s face it... we all love taking short cuts. And, if we aren't careful, our relationships are often taken for granted. But too many short cuts can lead to a lazy, unintentional relationship that merely exists, instead of thrives. If you want to shed years of emotional baggage, feel loved and...
Continue Reading
Why Your Partner Can’t Be Your Everything
Jun 4, 2016
Jordan Gray
Why Your Partner Can’t Be Your Everything
You have been sold a fantasy that can never come true. One of the worst things that the era of romantic love has taught you is that you are supposed to find a soul mate in a significant other who will be able to meet all of your needs flawlessly, often without even having to communicate their needs...
Continue Reading
No More Settling
Mar 15, 2017
Jordan Gray
No More Settling
Seriously. That’s it. From today onwards, you're making a vow... No more settling in your love life. No more settling for partners that don’t inspire you. No more settling for partners that you don’t truly respect. No more settling for partners who you don’t absolutely love having...
Continue Reading