Oct 8, 2016

Vote With Love 1,000 Times Per Day

According to recent studies, you make approximately 35,000 decisions per day.

Throughout a 24 hour period, the thoughts run rampant in your head.

What do I feel like eating for breakfast today? How many times should I soap myself down in the shower? Which shoes should I wear? Should I leave him/her? Should I text my friend how grateful I feel for their presence in my life? Do I want to buy a pet? Do I know that person well enough to stop and chat with them or should I just keep walking? Should I change careers? Is this too much kale? Am I doing enough with my life? Am I a good enough parent/son/daughter/friend/partner? Should I engage in this argument?

The vast majority of all of the decisions that you make can either be guided by love or by fear.

Love would have you honour your creative impulses and do that project you’ve been wanting to do… while fear would have you stay safe, keep your head down, and keep doing the thing that pays your bills and simultaneously makes you miserable.

Love would have you slow down in the morning and write in your gratitude journal (and then send your gratitude to the specific people that you mention in your writing)… while fear would have you roll over in bed, immediately check your phone/social media to see everything that you’ve missed over the last seven hours, and reactively jump out of bed to get your day started, already feeling like you’re behind on life.

Love would have you trust that your significant other can be friends with their exes without you having to worry about it… while fear would assume that you can’t trust someone who your partner was once attracted to, and demand that they not go out for dinner with their ex, or else you’ll leave them.

Love would have you honestly tell someone, “I’m not in love with you, and I have to let you go in order to let you find your person,” while fear would have you grasp on to someone who wasn’t an aligned fit for you… for fear of being alone forever.

Love would have you reach out to that family member/acquaintance/friend/former co-worker that you held a grudge against and tell them how sorry you are that everything that transpired between the two of you, while fear would have you grip tightly on to your resentment and pride.

Your choice, day in and day out, is to vote with love.

You make 35,000 decisions per day… so aim to vote with love at least 1,000 times per day. That’s less than three percent of your actions per day. You can do that. Start there.

Be mindful of what your decisions are rooted in.

Are your intentions loving, or fearful? Are you guiding your life with love or fear? Are your relationships, career choices, and spending habits rooted in love or fear?

What rules your life?

Are you constantly worried about what the world is coming to? Who might become president? How screwed we all might be? Or are you concerned with the only variable that you can control… spreading as much love as possible through your daily decisions?

Simply put… are you bound by fear, or coming from a place of love as often as possible?

They’re your votes. Do what you will with them.

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
How To Recharge Your Relationship From The Inside Out
Nov 4, 2015
Jordan Gray
How To Recharge Your Relationship From The Inside Out
Without intentional effort, relationships get stale. And while communication, date nights, romantic gestures, and great sex will definitely add a boost to your love life, sometimes what we really need to do is improve our relationship by improving our relationship with ourselves. In my opinion,...
Continue Reading
Do Something About It
Oct 1, 2016
Jordan Gray
Do Something About It
Life expands and contracts to the degree that you courageously move in the direction of your desires. In other words, you will be consistently rewarded for taking action, or consistently punished for doing nothing. Even more simply… If you’re not happy with something in your life… DO SOMETHING...
Continue Reading
How To Develop Your Masculine Edge: 9 Steps To Becoming A Beast
Mar 25, 2017
Jordan Gray
How To Develop Your Masculine Edge: 9 Steps To Becoming A Beast
Are you looking to develop your masculine edge? Do you sometimes feel like you lack passion, fire, or courage in your life? Do you find yourself feeling lacklustre, being boring, or overly nice? Do you find it difficult to stay motivated in your career path, attract romantic partners that you're deeply...
Continue Reading
Why Nice Guys Should Finish Last
Jul 18, 2013
Jordan Gray
Why Nice Guys Should Finish Last
Let’s end this whole “nice guys” myth once and for all… The term “nice guy” has been thrown around in popular culture a lot lately.  A quote unquote “nice guy” is actually a first class manipulator. (I was going to link to an Urban Dictionary definition of a nice guy here, but I found out that they...
Continue Reading
4 Positive Addictions That You Should Indulge In
Jan 4, 2020
Jordan Gray
4 Positive Addictions That You Should Indulge In
Addictions are usually thought of as behaviours that damage and hinder your life. But addictions and compulsions are on a sliding scale. Some, you could argue, are more useful than others. There’s very little upside to being a heroin addict. But there are many other habits that are considered addictions,...
Continue Reading
4 Relationship Rules To Live By
Sep 9, 2014
Jordan Gray
4 Relationship Rules To Live By
After years of self-reflection, I truly feel like I’ve found the holy grail of relationship mindset. These four rules encapsulate so much of what I believe to be true in relationships (intimate or otherwise) that I wanted to refine them into their simplest possible form before I made them public. Well,...
Continue Reading