Oct 8, 2016

Vote With Love 1,000 Times Per Day

According to recent studies, you make approximately 35,000 decisions per day.

Throughout a 24 hour period, the thoughts run rampant in your head.

What do I feel like eating for breakfast today? How many times should I soap myself down in the shower? Which shoes should I wear? Should I leave him/her? Should I text my friend how grateful I feel for their presence in my life? Do I want to buy a pet? Do I know that person well enough to stop and chat with them or should I just keep walking? Should I change careers? Is this too much kale? Am I doing enough with my life? Am I a good enough parent/son/daughter/friend/partner? Should I engage in this argument?

The vast majority of all of the decisions that you make can either be guided by love or by fear.

Love would have you honour your creative impulses and do that project you’ve been wanting to do… while fear would have you stay safe, keep your head down, and keep doing the thing that pays your bills and simultaneously makes you miserable.

Love would have you slow down in the morning and write in your gratitude journal (and then send your gratitude to the specific people that you mention in your writing)… while fear would have you roll over in bed, immediately check your phone/social media to see everything that you’ve missed over the last seven hours, and reactively jump out of bed to get your day started, already feeling like you’re behind on life.

Love would have you trust that your significant other can be friends with their exes without you having to worry about it… while fear would assume that you can’t trust someone who your partner was once attracted to, and demand that they not go out for dinner with their ex, or else you’ll leave them.

Love would have you honestly tell someone, “I’m not in love with you, and I have to let you go in order to let you find your person,” while fear would have you grasp on to someone who wasn’t an aligned fit for you… for fear of being alone forever.

Love would have you reach out to that family member/acquaintance/friend/former co-worker that you held a grudge against and tell them how sorry you are that everything that transpired between the two of you, while fear would have you grip tightly on to your resentment and pride.

Your choice, day in and day out, is to vote with love.

You make 35,000 decisions per day… so aim to vote with love at least 1,000 times per day. That’s less than three percent of your actions per day. You can do that. Start there.

Be mindful of what your decisions are rooted in.

Are your intentions loving, or fearful? Are you guiding your life with love or fear? Are your relationships, career choices, and spending habits rooted in love or fear?

What rules your life?

Are you constantly worried about what the world is coming to? Who might become president? How screwed we all might be? Or are you concerned with the only variable that you can control… spreading as much love as possible through your daily decisions?

Simply put… are you bound by fear, or coming from a place of love as often as possible?

They’re your votes. Do what you will with them.

Blog

Related

See All
6 Ways To Save Your Struggling Relationship
Sep 7, 2015
Jordan Gray
6 Ways To Save Your Struggling Relationship
This one’s for all of you long-term relationship folks! While I usually tend to write about how to turn a good relationship into a great relationship (through things like connection exercises, date nights, sexual communication, romantic gestures, overall prioritization, and increasing depth in your...
Continue Reading
How Perfectionistic Parenting Affects Children Later In Life
Feb 26, 2017
Jordan Gray
How Perfectionistic Parenting Affects Children Later In Life
Did you grow up with overly strict, controlling, or perfectionistic parents? Was familial conversation strained and limited? Did you frequently feel like you weren’t allowed to be yourself or express certain emotions? Every child experiences invalidation growing up. This is natural and unavoidable....
Continue Reading
7 Things That Women Will Always Be Attracted To
Apr 22, 2014
Jordan Gray
7 Things That Women Will Always Be Attracted To
If there's one thing that I've learned in my career as a relationship coach it's that guys’ beliefs about what actually attracts women is pretty ass-backwards. Men have been raised with the false belief that they should always appear detached, cool and unemotional, 24/7, or risk being known in guy...
Continue Reading
10 Ways For Men To Sharpen Their Sword 
Jun 2, 2020
Jordan Gray
10 Ways For Men To Sharpen Their Sword 
If you want to become a more effective and powerful man, it will require methodical training and conquering challenges. Now, if you’ve been reading my other writing on integrating your masculinity and becoming a stronger person, you’ll find that I might often stress the inner work, or, more specifically,...
Continue Reading
Love Them In A Way That Makes Them More Free
Jan 11, 2019
Jordan Gray
Love Them In A Way That Makes Them More Free
The majority of modern relationships are based off of fear. Marriages that are more about possessiveness than about love. Unspoken codependent social contracts abound. Jealousy, game playing, and manipulation are more the default than the exception. So, if trying to possess or control someone is the...
Continue Reading
Why Being Needy Is A Good Thing
Dec 18, 2013
Jordan Gray
Why Being Needy Is A Good Thing
In western society we are raised with an independence-is-the-only-way mindset. And this does so much damage to us it's ridiculous. You walk down the street and see women sporting t-shirts that say "100% single" or "I don't need no man". You hear men bragging about how long they've been single for...
Continue Reading