Nov 5, 2016

The 3 Step Process For A Life Of Genuine Fulfillment

The most persistent theme that I have learned throughout my life thus far, is that every decision ultimately comes down to our values. And we suffer or thrive to the degree that we have identified and live by our values.

If you find yourself constantly second guessing yourself, living in your head, and being uncertain about what path to take in your life, it might be high time you sat down and had a serious chat with yourself about what your values are.

So, to cut right to the chase, the three steps to a life of genuine fulfillment are as follows.

1. Identify your personal values

2. Go after what you want

3. Say no to things that interfere and continue to prioritize your values

Let’s break this down further, shall we?

Identify your personal values

How do you go about identifying your personal values?

If you aren’t sure what your values are, try keeping a journal with you for a week and write down all of the times that you notice your heart being especially full during certain activities, and other activities where you feel especially hurt or drained.

Then, compile the data and ask yourself ‘Why?’. Why do I hurt here, and why do I feel such deep joy here? The answers will lead you to your core personal values.

Go after what you want

Insights are one thing, actions are another.

Once you have identified what it is that deeply matters to you, it is simply a matter of consistently taking decisive action in the direction of your goals.

Say no to things that interfere / Continue to prioritize your values

This point comes down to boundary setting. Say yes to what you want, say no to what you don’t want.

Will you be able to be perfect with this? Will you be able to say no to absolutely everything that interferes with your values? No. Life happens. Things will come up that will get in the way, and that’s fine. Flexibility is important, but always aim to do your best to choose in the direction of your values.

The more you honour your core values, the happier and more deeply fulfilled you will feel. The more you dishonour and ignore your values, the more prone you will be to feelings of anxiousness, despondence, sadness, and a general lacklustre feeling of being disengaged in your life.

The long and short of it is this…

If you can arrive at your own internal definition of what your life should look like, and stick to it (no matter what the next big shiny, opportunity looks like), you will be better for it.

You won’t be tossed around by the winds of life because you will be firmly rooted in your own version of reality that matters to you.

Here are some quick examples of my core values (so you get an idea of what they could look like):

Growth. For me, the point of life isn’t to be comfortable… the point is to continually have my feet being held to the metaphorical fire. The point of my life is to improve, strive, grow, and become more as a person.

Creativity. The only original thing that I will ever put out into the world will be born of me honouring my creative impulses. The more I create, the more people I can help. And the bliss of creativity (for me) is heavily tied into my sense of contribution. As of today, my 300+ articles are read by over 1 million per month around the world. This fills my heart with joy more than any other numerical metric in my business/life.

Compassion. It is baked into my DNA to be aware of and care for the suffering of others. In my life, I have been through many kinds of deep pain, and the greatest gift that these painful periods have afforded me is the ability to genuinely empathize with others who also suffer. It means a lot to me to be gentle, loving, and compassionate with others. When I do this well, it fills me with a durable feeling of joy.

So, what about you? What do you care about more than anything? Find out. Start there. Then get busy shaping your life around those answers.

Dedicated to your success,

Jordan

Ps. If you want to read more on the topic of values, I’d strongly recommend you check out Mark Manson’s book The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F*ck. It’s phenomenal. If you enjoy my style of writing, you’ll likely also love his.

Pps. If you enjoyed this post, you’ll likely also love reading:

The Hardest And Most Important Thing You Will Ever Do

Wear The Sword Until You Can’t: A Life Philosophy

4 Honest As Fuck Questions You Need To Ask Yourself Often

Blog

Related

See All
How I Overcame Sexual Addiction
Sep 25, 2016
Jordan Gray
How I Overcame Sexual Addiction
"My name is Jordan, and I'm a sex addict." As soon as the words left my mouth, I felt like a total impostor. The men and women seated around me, legs crossed and arms folded, draped over orange plastic chairs, would see right through me any second now. Even though I was staring down at the floor, I...
Continue Reading
Vote With Love 1,000 Times Per Day
Oct 8, 2016
Jordan Gray
Vote With Love 1,000 Times Per Day
According to recent studies, you make approximately 35,000 decisions per day. Throughout a 24 hour period, the thoughts run rampant in your head. What do I feel like eating for breakfast today? How many times should I soap myself down in the shower? Which shoes should I wear? Should I leave him/her?...
Continue Reading
10 Questions To Ask To Go Deep In Your Relationship
Aug 19, 2014
Jordan Gray
10 Questions To Ask To Go Deep In Your Relationship
Let’s face it... we all love taking short cuts. And, if we aren't careful, our relationships are often taken for granted. But too many short cuts can lead to a lazy, unintentional relationship that merely exists, instead of thrives. If you want to shed years of emotional baggage, feel loved and...
Continue Reading
4 Positive Addictions That You Should Indulge In
Jan 4, 2020
Jordan Gray
4 Positive Addictions That You Should Indulge In
Addictions are usually thought of as behaviours that damage and hinder your life. But addictions and compulsions are on a sliding scale. Some, you could argue, are more useful than others. There’s very little upside to being a heroin addict. But there are many other habits that are considered addictions,...
Continue Reading
7 Steps To Financial Freedom
Dec 8, 2019
Jordan Gray
7 Steps To Financial Freedom
The majority of the world lives paycheque to paycheque with little to no savings in the bank. And not having money sucks. Imagine waking up in the morning with zero debt. Imagine never having to worry about how you are going to pay for your rent/mortgage/groceries ever again. Imagine waking up with...
Continue Reading
Your Life Is A Garden
Mar 5, 2016
Jordan Gray
Your Life Is A Garden
Your life is a garden. And it needs constant attention. Your garden needs water, sunlight, effort, and love in order to truly thrive. If you treat your soil well then nutritious foods and beautiful flowers will be able to spring forth, or... you can treat your soil badly and it’ll feel like nothing...
Continue Reading