Mar 15, 2015

We Are Wild, And We Are Tender

We are more wild, and more tender than we allow ourselves be in bed.

Regardless of our gender, the range of our sexuality has been repressed, limited, and shamed into a corner since we were young.

We are simultaneously tantalized and chastised.

We are taught to suppress sexual desire… hide our bodies… and don’t even think about discussing sex in a public space.

This mass sexual shaming bleeds into our intimate relationships. We are afraid to ask for what we want. We are afraid to really let our orgasm break us open. We are afraid to go deep with our loved ones.

But the truth is we are all more wild, and more tender than we allow ourselves to be in bed.

“If I really showed them how turned on I was…

If I really told them what was on my mind…

If I really asked them for what I wanted…

It would scare them away.”

And that is the heart of shame speaking.

If I show myself, I will be abandoned.

But you will only scare away the wrong ones.

The partner who is meant for you will cherish you and all of your gifts.

They will love the ferocity just as much as they love your softness.

So be wild. And be tender.

It will break you open, heal your old wounds, and bring you and your partner closer than you ever thought imaginable.

It’s time to be seen.

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 18 years, with his work reaching over 250 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading a book, working out with his trainer, or spending time with his wife and son on the East Coast of the United States.

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