Mar 15, 2015

We Are Wild, And We Are Tender

We are more wild, and more tender than we allow ourselves be in bed.

Regardless of our gender, the range of our sexuality has been repressed, limited, and shamed into a corner since we were young.

We are simultaneously tantalized and chastised.

We are taught to suppress sexual desire… hide our bodies… and don’t even think about discussing sex in a public space.

This mass sexual shaming bleeds into our intimate relationships. We are afraid to ask for what we want. We are afraid to really let our orgasm break us open. We are afraid to go deep with our loved ones.

But the truth is we are all more wild, and more tender than we allow ourselves to be in bed.

“If I really showed them how turned on I was…

If I really told them what was on my mind…

If I really asked them for what I wanted…

It would scare them away.”

And that is the heart of shame speaking.

If I show myself, I will be abandoned.

But you will only scare away the wrong ones.

The partner who is meant for you will cherish you and all of your gifts.

They will love the ferocity just as much as they love your softness.

So be wild. And be tender.

It will break you open, heal your old wounds, and bring you and your partner closer than you ever thought imaginable.

It’s time to be seen.

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
7 Ways To Set Up Your Bedroom For Better Sex
Jul 7, 2016
Jordan Gray
7 Ways To Set Up Your Bedroom For Better Sex
Want to set up your bedroom for better sex, more relaxation, and more connection with your lover? While we can exercise our willpower to a certain extent in our lives, our environments often shape our realities to a greater degree. So instead of having to overcome the lacklustre vibe in your bedroom...
Continue Reading
7 Most Comfortable Blowjob Positions For Women (Photos)
Sep 3, 2024
Jordan Gray
7 Most Comfortable Blowjob Positions For Women (Photos)
Looking for the world's most comfortable blowjob positions? Look no further! As the old saying goes... ''Blowjobs... they blow him away, but they're a job for you." But it doesn't have to be that way. When you find the right comfortable blowjob positions for...
Continue Reading
29 Things I’ve Learned In 29 Years
Apr 21, 2016
Jordan Gray
29 Things I’ve Learned In 29 Years
At the time of my writing this, my 29th birthday is a few days away. 29 laps around the sun... and I feel like I have experienced a fairly densely packed ride so far. I've struggled, I've conquered, I've travelled, I've felt, and I've loved. The following collection of words flowed through me in one...
Continue Reading
Kill Stress, Boost Testosterone, And Have Better Sex
Feb 23, 2016
Jordan Gray
Kill Stress, Boost Testosterone, And Have Better Sex
There's a problem with how modern, western society is built up. And it's working against us. We're stressed out. We're increasingly socially isolated from each other. We are the most medicated adult cohort in human history. Our sedentary lifestyles, status-seeking culture, and improper food intake...
Continue Reading
10 Ways To Keep The Sexual Spark Alive In A Long Term Relationship
Nov 12, 2019
Jordan Gray
10 Ways To Keep The Sexual Spark Alive In A Long Term Relationship
"How do I keep the sexual spark and passion alive in my relationship?" This is one of the most asked questions by couples who've passed the first-year milestone. When they started dating, there was an automatic flurry of sexual sparks. They fucked like bunnies - every night, and every morning....
Continue Reading
How To Give A Life-Changing Penis Massage (aka Lingam Massage)
Jan 19, 2020
Jordan Gray
How To Give A Life-Changing Penis Massage (aka Lingam Massage)
What is a penis massage? A penis massage (aka “lingam” massage, in tantric lingo) is a structured process with emotional and physical techniques designed to deliver a deeply healing and pleasurable experience. Just like a regular massage in a spa, penis massage is a form of therapy. But the benefits...
Continue Reading