Nov 12, 2016

You Are Allowed To Want What You Want

Repeat after me…

“I am allowed to want what I want.”

Say it out loud. Don’t worry… I’ll wait.

“I am allowed to want what I want.”

Done? How did that feel?

If you’re like most people, there’s probably a combination of a little bit of fear/nervousness, mixed in with a deep sense of peace and calm.

It can be confronting to allow ourselves to recognize that our needs and desires are not unreasonable, but in fact, completely fine and acceptable.

We have never lived in more amazing times. We live in an era of unprecedented abundance, across all areas of life. And now is the time to be selfish.

In Your Love Life: You Are Allowed To Want What You Want

You are allowed to want to be sexually attracted to your partner.

You are allowed to want to be intellectually attracted to your partner.

You are allowed to want to feel emotionally safe with your partner.

You are allowed to want to feel spiritually connected with your partner.

You are allowed to want a partner who is blonde, brunette, slender, fit, chubby, overweight, bald, or big-nosed.

You are allowed to want them to be employed. Or financially self-sufficient. Or slightly arrogant. Or shy. Or taller than you. Or any other number of things.

Whatever you want in a partner, you are allowed to want what you want.

In Your Work Life: You Are Allowed To Want What You Want

You are allowed to want to work 12 hours a day, or eight, or two, or zero.

You are allowed to want to give to the world using your innate gifts.

You are allowed to want to affect millions of people… or one person.

You are allowed to feel excited by your work. You’re allowed to feel deeply fulfilled by your work. You’re allowed to not resonate with people that resent Monday’s and thank god it’s Friday.

You are allowed to have the exact kind of impact that you want to have on the world, by providing value in a way that lights you up.

With Your Physical Body: You Are Allowed To Want What You Want

You are allowed to want to wear luxurious fabrics that complement your body.

You are allowed to want to be in the best shape of your life. You’re allowed to want to be in love with your body. You’re allowed to put on as much or as little make up as you want.

You’re allowed to want the exact type of sex that you most enjoy. You’re allowed to want a partner who massively turns you on. You’re allowed to want to reach sexual ecstasy on a regular basis.

You are allowed to embrace yourself, as you are, in this very moment.

All too often, we lose sight of this simple truth… but it’s true. You are allowed to want what you want.

It isn’t self-indulgence… it’s self-honouring.

Dedicated to your success,

Jordan

Ps. If you enjoyed this post, you’ll likely also love reading:

The Hardest And Most Important Thing You Will Ever Do

4 Honest As Fuck Questions You Need To Ask Yourself Often

How To Figure Out What Your Ideal Sex Life Looks Like

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
Do You Regret An Entire Relationship? Here’s What’s Actually Going On
Mar 24, 2019
Jordan Gray
Do You Regret An Entire Relationship? Here’s What’s Actually Going On
I was talking to a client the other week, and he mentioned that he regretted a year long relationship that had recently come to an end in his life. This isn’t the first time I’ve heard someone saying that they wished they could undo the fact that an intimate relationship had taken place. If this is...
Continue Reading
7 Incredibly Reasonable Things You’re Allowed To Want In A Partner
Jul 27, 2024
Jordan Gray
7 Incredibly Reasonable Things You’re Allowed To Want In A Partner
When I work with single clients, they often hesitate to fully acknowledge what they want in a partner. In fact, there are a handful of themes that consistently come up as it pertains to things they don't give themselves full permission to want. And without conscious awareness of these themes, people...
Continue Reading
11 Thoughtful Things I Do For My Wife
Mar 27, 2024
Jordan Gray
11 Thoughtful Things I Do For My Wife
When it comes to sustaining a thriving, healthy marriage, I believe that grand gestures are overrated. In a world of choreographed, flash-mob proposals and Pinterest-perfect breakfasts-in-bed, it's easy to get caught up in the grand gestures of love, but I think it's the little things that truly keep...
Continue Reading
What The Most Compassionate People All Have In Common
Sep 21, 2015
Jordan Gray
What The Most Compassionate People All Have In Common
I was on a weekend retreat in Colorado with thirty other people. Each of the people that were there was selected by the primary criteria of them all being young entrepreneurs who were game-changers in their field (according to the event organizers). There was one woman in particular who I really felt...
Continue Reading
To The Perpetual Fence Sitters
Nov 17, 2018
Jordan Gray
To The Perpetual Fence Sitters
Here are three true short stories. About Tammy, Anna, and Joe.  (All names and any identifying details have been changed to protect identity.) Tammy Last week, a woman (who I will call Tammy) sent me a 1,000+ word email telling me about how she wanted...
Continue Reading
3 Ways To Reparent Your Inner Child
May 12, 2020
Jordan Gray
3 Ways To Reparent Your Inner Child
It is an unequivocal fact that your childhood shaped who you are today. And no matter how self-aware, loving, and supportive your parents were, it’s also a fact that they passed on their unprocessed emotions and unexamined habits on to you. So, as you’ve grown from being a child to being an adult,...
Continue Reading