Nov 5, 2014

The Battle Between Your Work And Your Woman

“A man’s life is a constant battle between his work and his woman.”

I get asked the question “How do you find the balance between your work and your girlfriend/wife/partner?” on a weekly basis.

Lets dig into what’s really going on when a client asks me this.

They’re feeling overwhelmed. They’re feeling stressed. They feel stretched too thin.

They love their work/career/business enough that it genuinely compels them to become the best in the world at what they do.

They also love their partner so deeply that they want to do right by her and make sure that she feels as loved as possible with the limited time resources they might be giving to her.

In my mind, there are two strategies that you can choose.

Prioritizing Business Advancement Above Your Relationship

Knowing that most men derive a huge amount of self-esteem and identity level happiness from their work, it’s no wonder that they would naturally gravitate towards prioritizing their work over their woman.

When I ask my clients to send me a screen grab of their weekly calendars, it is immediately clear that their work takes the front seat in their lives.

When you prioritize your happiness at any cost (whether through doing work you love, exercising, or engaging in your favourite hobbies) then you are ultimately a happier person. And if you’re happy, then you can be a happy and fulfilled person for your intimate partner.

But there is a limit to how far you can improve your relationship by working extra hard on your career/business.

Prioritizing Your Relationship Over Business Advancement

I believe that working really hard on your career/business doesn’t really funnel excess energy into your relationship, whereas funnelling extra attention and intentionality into your relationship does serve your business.

So you can either work your butt off every day and have that make you a 10% more effective relationship partner, or you can prioritize your love life and have that make you a 300% more effective business man.

Without fail, every time that I have had a client engage in a month long test of making their romantic partner their priority over their business their business has levelled up faster than almost any other growth curve in their businesses history.

Why? Because our emotional energy touches everything that we do. If we aren’t feeling safe, secure, and settled in our love life then it affects us every day that we’re trying to get work done in the office.

Why else? Because you feel that much more confident when you know your partner is well-fucked and blissfully happy with you.

Why else? Because when you remember how much you love spending time with your partner you’ll work smarter within your business, you’ll get more done in less time, and the pillow talk that you engage in with your partner will give you much needed insights and intuition into the work that you’re doing that you might not have otherwise been able to tap into.

Bottom line… setting the energetic foundation of making your relationship and sex life thrive will do so much more for your growth (and the growth of your business) than burning the candle at both ends in your business will do for your home life.

Make her a priority.

Even if you have limited time in your day/week/calendar it’s imperative that you make her feel loved, seen, and appreciated.

Be romantic. Make her feel beautiful. Be the best partner possible.

Dedicated to your success,

Jordan

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
To The Perpetual Fence Sitters
Nov 17, 2018
Jordan Gray
To The Perpetual Fence Sitters
Here are three true short stories. About Tammy, Anna, and Joe.  (All names and any identifying details have been changed to protect identity.) Tammy Last week, a woman (who I will call Tammy) sent me a 1,000+ word email telling me about how she wanted...
Continue Reading
It’s Terrifying And Then It’s Amazing
Apr 8, 2016
Jordan Gray
It’s Terrifying And Then It’s Amazing
I’m going on an airplane tomorrow. And I really, truly do not enjoy flying. I know… it’s a modern miracle… and it’s all “WOW I’M IN THE SKY RIGHT NOW!”… but I can’t help but feel like we’re going to drop out of the sky at any moment. Even though that’s fairly impossible. And even though there’s a way...
Continue Reading
How To Be A REAL Man (In 3 Easy Steps)
Jun 26, 2014
Jordan Gray
How To Be A REAL Man (In 3 Easy Steps)
I remember wondering endlessly if I was gay as a young boy. Why? Because I consistently got the feedback from my male peers that I wasn't a traditional male. As my male friends played basketball to impress the girls in our class, I sat on the sidelines and 'gossiped' with my female classmates. While...
Continue Reading
The 8 Best Books About Men’s Development And Sexuality
Oct 1, 2019
Jordan Gray
The 8 Best Books About Men’s Development And Sexuality
I frequently get asked for my top recommendations for self-help books in the men's development and sexuality realm. So I decided to compile a list. If you don't want to read through the entire article and read about why I think each book is great, and see some of my favourite quotes from each one,...
Continue Reading
The Best Way To Get Unstuck (The Compass Exercise)
May 18, 2013
Jordan Gray
The Best Way To Get Unstuck (The Compass Exercise)
I often create verbal and written exercises for my clients to discover new things about themselves.  I came up with this one a few weeks ago and it has been giving a lot of different people a bunch of break throughs. Give it a shot and you just might learn something about yourself (Introspection YAY!) Heads...
Continue Reading
How To Harness And Heal The Pain Of A Breakup
Nov 18, 2015
Jordan Gray
How To Harness And Heal The Pain Of A Breakup
The pain of a breakup can be excruciatingly intense. I know because I've been there. I started working in sex and relationships full time because the pain of a breakup levelled me so hard that it shook up my entire life. We had been dating for just over a year. I thought I was going to marry...
Continue Reading