Nov 5, 2014

The Battle Between Your Work And Your Woman

“A man’s life is a constant battle between his work and his woman.”

I get asked the question “How do you find the balance between your work and your girlfriend/wife/partner?” on a weekly basis.

Lets dig into what’s really going on when a client asks me this.

They’re feeling overwhelmed. They’re feeling stressed. They feel stretched too thin.

They love their work/career/business enough that it genuinely compels them to become the best in the world at what they do.

They also love their partner so deeply that they want to do right by her and make sure that she feels as loved as possible with the limited time resources they might be giving to her.

In my mind, there are two strategies that you can choose.

Prioritizing Business Advancement Above Your Relationship

Knowing that most men derive a huge amount of self-esteem and identity level happiness from their work, it’s no wonder that they would naturally gravitate towards prioritizing their work over their woman.

When I ask my clients to send me a screen grab of their weekly calendars, it is immediately clear that their work takes the front seat in their lives.

When you prioritize your happiness at any cost (whether through doing work you love, exercising, or engaging in your favourite hobbies) then you are ultimately a happier person. And if you’re happy, then you can be a happy and fulfilled person for your intimate partner.

But there is a limit to how far you can improve your relationship by working extra hard on your career/business.

Prioritizing Your Relationship Over Business Advancement

I believe that working really hard on your career/business doesn’t really funnel excess energy into your relationship, whereas funnelling extra attention and intentionality into your relationship does serve your business.

So you can either work your butt off every day and have that make you a 10% more effective relationship partner, or you can prioritize your love life and have that make you a 300% more effective business man.

Without fail, every time that I have had a client engage in a month long test of making their romantic partner their priority over their business their business has levelled up faster than almost any other growth curve in their businesses history.

Why? Because our emotional energy touches everything that we do. If we aren’t feeling safe, secure, and settled in our love life then it affects us every day that we’re trying to get work done in the office.

Why else? Because you feel that much more confident when you know your partner is well-fucked and blissfully happy with you.

Why else? Because when you remember how much you love spending time with your partner you’ll work smarter within your business, you’ll get more done in less time, and the pillow talk that you engage in with your partner will give you much needed insights and intuition into the work that you’re doing that you might not have otherwise been able to tap into.

Bottom line… setting the energetic foundation of making your relationship and sex life thrive will do so much more for your growth (and the growth of your business) than burning the candle at both ends in your business will do for your home life.

Make her a priority.

Even if you have limited time in your day/week/calendar it’s imperative that you make her feel loved, seen, and appreciated.

Be romantic. Make her feel beautiful. Be the best partner possible.

Dedicated to your success,

Jordan

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
The Hardest And Most Important Thing You Will Ever Do
Apr 25, 2016
Jordan Gray
The Hardest And Most Important Thing You Will Ever Do
What is the hardest and most important thing you will ever do for yourself? I’m not going to leave you hanging. I’m going to give it to you right away, and then dig into why this is so important. The most important (and challenging) thing you could ever do for yourself is to... Take full responsibility...
Continue Reading
The Big Test Before You Leap
May 28, 2024
Jordan Gray
The Big Test Before You Leap
In 2019, my now-wife/then-love-interest Demetra and I were engaging in multi-hour Skype dates and inching ever-closer to the point of saying "Hey, we should meet up in person and see if our chemistry translates to the real world." Our rapport was phenomenal. The synchronicities were everywhere. It...
Continue Reading
9 Reasons To Not Use Dating Apps (At All, Ever)
Jan 29, 2025
Jordan Gray
9 Reasons To Not Use Dating Apps (At All, Ever)
Despite millions of people using dating apps, nearly 80% of users report feeling burnt out, frustrated, and no closer to finding a meaningful connection. While dating apps claim to bring people together, some research suggests they often do the opposite - leading to higher rates of anxiety, lower...
Continue Reading
7 Daily Habits That Have Contributed To My Success
Oct 7, 2016
Jordan Gray
7 Daily Habits That Have Contributed To My Success
Your habits make you who you are. This isn’t a new concept. What you do, you become. Small actions done consistently over time add up and become much larger things. Small things done over time add up into pleasure, joy, and comfort. Those same things neglected over time lead to pain, disease, discomfort,...
Continue Reading
8 Powerful Exercises To Increase Your Masculine Energy
Jan 20, 2014
Jordan Gray
8 Powerful Exercises To Increase Your Masculine Energy
Want to feel raw masculine energy coursing through your veins? Maybe you have an important date tonight. Maybe you have an important project to complete. Maybe you want to bring back the spark to the bedroom. Whatever your reason, levelling up your masculine energy is simple when you know...
Continue Reading
Why Successful Women Struggle In Love
Jul 3, 2017
Jordan Gray
Why Successful Women Struggle In Love
It may seem unusual, but it’s not uncommon for driven, motivated, and successful women to have struggles in the dating world. These women often feel that few men make the cut, or when they do, the guy loses interest without much of a clear reason why. This leaves women feeling frustrated and pessimistic,...
Continue Reading