Nov 5, 2014

The Battle Between Your Work And Your Woman

“A man’s life is a constant battle between his work and his woman.”

I get asked the question “How do you find the balance between your work and your girlfriend/wife/partner?” on a weekly basis.

Lets dig into what’s really going on when a client asks me this.

They’re feeling overwhelmed. They’re feeling stressed. They feel stretched too thin.

They love their work/career/business enough that it genuinely compels them to become the best in the world at what they do.

They also love their partner so deeply that they want to do right by her and make sure that she feels as loved as possible with the limited time resources they might be giving to her.

In my mind, there are two strategies that you can choose.

Prioritizing Business Advancement Above Your Relationship

Knowing that most men derive a huge amount of self-esteem and identity level happiness from their work, it’s no wonder that they would naturally gravitate towards prioritizing their work over their woman.

When I ask my clients to send me a screen grab of their weekly calendars, it is immediately clear that their work takes the front seat in their lives.

When you prioritize your happiness at any cost (whether through doing work you love, exercising, or engaging in your favourite hobbies) then you are ultimately a happier person. And if you’re happy, then you can be a happy and fulfilled person for your intimate partner.

But there is a limit to how far you can improve your relationship by working extra hard on your career/business.

Prioritizing Your Relationship Over Business Advancement

I believe that working really hard on your career/business doesn’t really funnel excess energy into your relationship, whereas funnelling extra attention and intentionality into your relationship does serve your business.

So you can either work your butt off every day and have that make you a 10% more effective relationship partner, or you can prioritize your love life and have that make you a 300% more effective business man.

Without fail, every time that I have had a client engage in a month long test of making their romantic partner their priority over their business their business has levelled up faster than almost any other growth curve in their businesses history.

Why? Because our emotional energy touches everything that we do. If we aren’t feeling safe, secure, and settled in our love life then it affects us every day that we’re trying to get work done in the office.

Why else? Because you feel that much more confident when you know your partner is well-fucked and blissfully happy with you.

Why else? Because when you remember how much you love spending time with your partner you’ll work smarter within your business, you’ll get more done in less time, and the pillow talk that you engage in with your partner will give you much needed insights and intuition into the work that you’re doing that you might not have otherwise been able to tap into.

Bottom line… setting the energetic foundation of making your relationship and sex life thrive will do so much more for your growth (and the growth of your business) than burning the candle at both ends in your business will do for your home life.

Make her a priority.

Even if you have limited time in your day/week/calendar it’s imperative that you make her feel loved, seen, and appreciated.

Be romantic. Make her feel beautiful. Be the best partner possible.

Dedicated to your success,

Jordan

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
How To Apologize Like A Man
Mar 26, 2013
Jordan Gray
How To Apologize Like A Man
How to Apologize Like A Man Most men have an issue with apologizing.  More specifically, most men have a problem with showing anything that could be perceived as weakness. We have internalized from a young age that if we ever feel out of control, or unsure of ourselves, we should...
Continue Reading
Are You Willing To Be Awake In Your Relationship?
May 28, 2018
Jordan Gray
Are You Willing To Be Awake In Your Relationship?
Are you truly willing to be awake in your relationship? A lot of people like to pay lip service to the idea of being in a ‘conscious relationship’… but when push comes to shove, they aren’t interested in truly doing their work. It’s easy to hide behind the guise of being woke as fuck, but walking the...
Continue Reading
Vote With Love 1,000 Times Per Day
Oct 8, 2016
Jordan Gray
Vote With Love 1,000 Times Per Day
According to recent studies, you make approximately 35,000 decisions per day. Throughout a 24 hour period, the thoughts run rampant in your head. What do I feel like eating for breakfast today? How many times should I soap myself down in the shower? Which shoes should I wear? Should I leave him/her?...
Continue Reading
3 Things To Do About Fear Of Your Partner Dying
Aug 1, 2020
Jordan Gray
3 Things To Do About Fear Of Your Partner Dying
My partner Demetra and I have lived together for a little over a year. We are committed to each other. We talk about getting married in the not-so-distant future. And each time our relationship has gone a layer deeper, we have both had a corresponding layer of fear accompany it. "What if she...
Continue Reading
5 Questions That Will Give You Depth In Conversation
Jul 29, 2013
Jordan Gray
5 Questions That Will Give You Depth In Conversation
The art of conversation is a dying one. People's attention spans have been hacked to pieces by billboards, smart phones, and endless digital pings… and deep conversation has been the primary casualty of our waning patience.  Which means (good news!) it's never been easier to stand out from others...
Continue Reading
5 Ways Your Cell Phone Can Improve Your Relationship
Apr 19, 2015
Jordan Gray
5 Ways Your Cell Phone Can Improve Your Relationship
Cell phones get a lot of flack when it comes to how we interact with each other in our relationships. But technology is a neutral entity. It’s how we use our phones that matters. Yes, if you text each other more than you talk face to face, you can experience pain in your relationship. But if you harness...
Continue Reading