Nov 5, 2014

The Battle Between Your Work And Your Woman

“A man’s life is a constant battle between his work and his woman.”

I get asked the question “How do you find the balance between your work and your girlfriend/wife/partner?” on a weekly basis.

Lets dig into what’s really going on when a client asks me this.

They’re feeling overwhelmed. They’re feeling stressed. They feel stretched too thin.

They love their work/career/business enough that it genuinely compels them to become the best in the world at what they do.

They also love their partner so deeply that they want to do right by her and make sure that she feels as loved as possible with the limited time resources they might be giving to her.

In my mind, there are two strategies that you can choose.

Prioritizing Business Advancement Above Your Relationship

Knowing that most men derive a huge amount of self-esteem and identity level happiness from their work, it’s no wonder that they would naturally gravitate towards prioritizing their work over their woman.

When I ask my clients to send me a screen grab of their weekly calendars, it is immediately clear that their work takes the front seat in their lives.

When you prioritize your happiness at any cost (whether through doing work you love, exercising, or engaging in your favourite hobbies) then you are ultimately a happier person. And if you’re happy, then you can be a happy and fulfilled person for your intimate partner.

But there is a limit to how far you can improve your relationship by working extra hard on your career/business.

Prioritizing Your Relationship Over Business Advancement

I believe that working really hard on your career/business doesn’t really funnel excess energy into your relationship, whereas funnelling extra attention and intentionality into your relationship does serve your business.

So you can either work your butt off every day and have that make you a 10% more effective relationship partner, or you can prioritize your love life and have that make you a 300% more effective business man.

Without fail, every time that I have had a client engage in a month long test of making their romantic partner their priority over their business their business has levelled up faster than almost any other growth curve in their businesses history.

Why? Because our emotional energy touches everything that we do. If we aren’t feeling safe, secure, and settled in our love life then it affects us every day that we’re trying to get work done in the office.

Why else? Because you feel that much more confident when you know your partner is well-fucked and blissfully happy with you.

Why else? Because when you remember how much you love spending time with your partner you’ll work smarter within your business, you’ll get more done in less time, and the pillow talk that you engage in with your partner will give you much needed insights and intuition into the work that you’re doing that you might not have otherwise been able to tap into.

Bottom line… setting the energetic foundation of making your relationship and sex life thrive will do so much more for your growth (and the growth of your business) than burning the candle at both ends in your business will do for your home life.

Make her a priority.

Even if you have limited time in your day/week/calendar it’s imperative that you make her feel loved, seen, and appreciated.

Be romantic. Make her feel beautiful. Be the best partner possible.

Dedicated to your success,

Jordan

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
I Believe In Loving Like You Give A Shit
Dec 13, 2015
Jordan Gray
I Believe In Loving Like You Give A Shit
I believe in loving like you give a shit. I believe in being overly affectionate in public. Even if it means that those who are envious label you as 'that couple' or tell you to get a room. I believe in flirting with someone you’ve been with for years. I believe in seeking out our barriers to intimacy...
Continue Reading
Unrealized Potential Is The Default, Not The Exception
Dec 21, 2018
Jordan Gray
Unrealized Potential Is The Default, Not The Exception
On January 18th, 1779, a young boy named Peter was born in London, England. Peter grew up in a small home with his mother, father, and younger sister. When Peter was just four years old, his father died, and it left a terrible mark on his heart. He felt powerless and heartbroken to have lost someone...
Continue Reading
What Secrets Are Keeping You Sick?
Sep 22, 2018
Jordan Gray
What Secrets Are Keeping You Sick?
An often passed around quote in 12 step groups is “You’re only as sick as your secrets.” And I believe this to be true in the most literal sense. (My opinion aside, new research shows that keeping secrets has a significant negative impact on health and well-being) When...
Continue Reading
Growth vs. Safety - The Two Paths That Determine Your Success
Jul 15, 2013
Jordan Gray
Growth vs. Safety – The Two Paths That Determine Your Success
In any moment you are either choosing between growth, or safety. And more often than not, most people choose safety. You could travel the world and learn about yourself!  But… you might get kidnapped so never mind. You could quit your day job and become self-employed!  But… that sounds scary...
Continue Reading
7 Bedtime Routines For Greater Intimacy
Oct 13, 2015
Jordan Gray
7 Bedtime Routines For Greater Intimacy
Whenever a couple comes to me looking to be proactive about their relationship (aka they're doing just fine, but they want to make some small improvements), I always ask them about what their night time routines look like. Inevitably, the usual suspects are mentioned... They brush their teeth,...
Continue Reading
I Had Sex With Over 300 Women, And Then Got Married
Jul 30, 2023
Jordan Gray
I Had Sex With Over 300 Women, And Then Got Married
Between the ages of 16-30, I had well over 300 sexual partners. At a certain point, I stopped counting... but my best guess would be somewhere between 330-380. When I've told select friends this, they are often amazed. How does someone even rack up those kinds of numbers? In reality, I was absolutely...
Continue Reading