Jul 15, 2013

Growth vs. Safety - The Two Paths That Determine Your Success

In any moment you are either choosing between growth, or safety.

And more often than not, most people choose safety.

You could travel the world and learn about yourself!  But… you might get kidnapped so never mind.

You could quit your day job and become self-employed!  But… that sounds scary and you want to make sure that you can pay your rent.

You could make getting into a relationship a priority and find the deepest, most loving relationship of your life!  But… opening up is scary and they might break your heart.

As far as we know we only get one pass at this living thing.  And guess what… you could be hit by a bus next week.

If you don’t choose growth then you are guaranteeing that you will stay stuck.  You will wake up a year from now exactly as you were… in a state of passive limbo.

And I’m not a believer in passive living.

So to ensure your forthcoming unstuck-ness when it comes to deciding between your two paths…

Here are three ways to ensure that you are choosing growth more often than safety in your life (and becoming superhuman in the process)…

1. Iron Out Your Wrinkles

If you were a dress shirt, where would you need to iron yourself out?

Where do you feel inconsistent?  Lacking?  Incongruent with your core self?  What areas of your life do you feel apprehensive talking about with people that you respect?

Everyone has things that they know they want to improve on.  The thoughts that pop up on a daily basis that you’ve become so good at pushing away.

Something is nagging at you and it’s there for a reason.  It wants you to hear it and take action.

It doesn’t matter how ridiculous the dream may seem.  The only ridiculous part is you not listening to your deepest desires day after day.

2. Commit To The First Step

One of my earliest mentors, Eben Pagan, taught me that “Doing something 99% of the way is hard as hell, but 100% is easy”.

Every plan seems terrifying until you commit to it.  Even if it seems like there might be a thousand steps between you and your ultimate goal, take the first one.  The easiest one.  The one that makes your heart beat faster, but just a little bit.

Put on your gym clothes.  Start a savings account.  Say hi to the cute girl you see (and only “hi”).  Whatever your first step is, do it.  Like, now o’clock.

3. Take The Leap

Remember how when you were young they told you you could be whatever you wanted to be when you grew up?

The scariest part about that is that it’s true.

It might not end up looking exactly like what you imagined… but you can get married/hired/healthy pretty damn fast if you put enough focused energy towards it.

Society likes to make it seem like an easy process.  And it isn’t.  Nothing in life worth having ever comes free.

You CAN get rich quick.  But you can’t get rich easy.

You CAN get married quick.  But not without putting in a lot of work into yourself and your process.

You CAN get the six-pack abs.  But you’ll feel like giving up thousands of times before seeing the results.

After you take the first step, you have to take the second.  And the fifth.  And the hundredth.

There is no substitute for putting in the work.  And you’ll have to do just that.

Hold Yourself To A Higher Standard

When I began to hate my old ‘job’ so much that it started to give me regular panic attacks, I hauled ass out of there.

My rational mind was telling me to do the right thing… wait until I had secured a new source of income before I left… wait until my mind settled down a bit.  Anything… just not growth!   Safety is so comfortable!

But I dragged my life kicking and screaming through that threshold.  And ten countries and four books later, it was so worth it.

Because it’s always worth it.

So what action are you looking forward to taking in your life?  Scary as it may be, you know it will transform your life.

Dedicated to your success,

Jordan

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
How To Meet Women That Can Keep Up With Your Nomadic Lifestyle
Mar 20, 2014
Jordan Gray
How To Meet Women That Can Keep Up With Your Nomadic Lifestyle
The lifestyle of a location independent entrepreneur is a unique one. You have the unique luxury of being able to pick up your life and move to a different country at a moments notice. Whether it's a conference, mastermind, or spiritual awakening you're going to next, the next trip is never far. So...
Continue Reading
How To Manage Stress (or How I Weathered My Shit Storm Of A Year)
Sep 5, 2016
Jordan Gray
How To Manage Stress (or How I Weathered My Shit Storm Of A Year)
What do you think of when you hear the word stress? A business person with clenched fists? A shy person anxiously walking out on stage to give a presentation? A Wall street day-trader with veins bulging on their forehead? My relationship to and understanding of stress shifted this year. I had always...
Continue Reading
The 3 Biggest Myths About Men
Jul 22, 2013
Jordan Gray
The 3 Biggest Myths About Men
Myths about men run rampant in Western society. “Men are liars.” “Men are stupid.” “Men only want one thing.” The only way for true gender equality to surface is to come to a mutual awareness of each other’s struggles and then do our best to shield ourselves from the cultural conditioning and ease...
Continue Reading
The 8 Best Books About Men’s Development And Sexuality
Oct 1, 2019
Jordan Gray
The 8 Best Books About Men’s Development And Sexuality
I frequently get asked for my top recommendations for self-help books in the men's development and sexuality realm. So I decided to compile a list. If you don't want to read through the entire article and read about why I think each book is great, and see some of my favourite quotes from each one,...
Continue Reading
Kill Stress, Boost Testosterone, And Have Better Sex
Feb 23, 2016
Jordan Gray
Kill Stress, Boost Testosterone, And Have Better Sex
There's a problem with how modern, western society is built up. And it's working against us. We're stressed out. We're increasingly socially isolated from each other. We are the most medicated adult cohort in human history. Our sedentary lifestyles, status-seeking culture, and improper food intake...
Continue Reading
Man Milk: The Ultimate Libido Boosting Cocktail For Men
Oct 11, 2018
Jordan Gray
Man Milk: The Ultimate Libido Boosting Cocktail For Men
Looking for a libido boosting cocktail to supercharge your sexual efforts? If you're living a healthy lifestyle (eating well, sleeping well, exercising, etc.) then your sex drive should be in tip-top shape on it's own. But there are times when you might want a little bump in your sex drive. Maybe...
Continue Reading