Oct 8, 2013

What Men And Women Should Learn From Each Other

Your retinas are burning from the glow of your computer screen. Your neck is tense as you type away for the tenth hour of your work day. You forgot to break for lunch.

You can feel your eyelids threatening to close; your wrists are already aching.

But you just have to finish these last few tasks. After that, once those are completed, you can consider shutting down for the night.

And then all of a sudden… you melt.

Your girlfriend’s fingers find their way into your hair and you are momentarily shocked away from your digital world.

Heat shoots down your spine as you feel the caressing touch of your partner’s hands.

You were so enveloped in your work that you didn’t even hear her enter the room, but now that she’s touching you, you’ve been transported to a new world.

She reaches over your shoulder and shuts your laptop. She whispers to you in her soft, feminine tone, “Come to bed.”

OpenHerSexually

The Masculine Weakness

In all people, there is masculine and feminine energy. Each of these energies have their own unique weaknesses, or blind spots.

Masculine energy is driven, directional, single-minded, strict, and contextual.

Though it has many favourable attributes, masculine energy can act like a laser beam; it possesses the power to single task like no other but it is also armed with the ability to burn elements of your life to the ground. A prime example of this damaging laser-beam focus is the societally-known cliche of the absent husband, so married to his career that he completely neglects his wife.

The major masculine weakness is getting so wrapped up in your projects that you forget to live. All striving and no contentment.

The masculine is so aware of the aspect of death in living that it is driven to strive, grow, and conquer before life is ripped away. But if you live in a way that is solely seeking to strive, you forget to bring in the balanced element of enjoyment.

If your only focus is ticking off the tasks on your to-do list, you forget to savour the tender moments that life affords you daily.

This is where your feminine partner comes in. She’s happy that you’re excited about the projects that you’re working on, but she smiles across the table from you and reminds you to “Taste this creme brûlée.” She brings you back to the present moment and takes you away from your contextual thinking.

The Feminine Weakness

Feminine energy is flexible, creative, indulgent, and nurturing. While it is comparable to a hurricane with its brilliance and unending power, feminine energy can also turn from flexibility to chaos, from indulgence to addiction, and from emotional fullness to emotional suffering without masculine energy to balance it (either from within or gained from a partner).

Masculine energy may view time as a resource with great scarcity, whereas the present-minded feminine can see time as an abundant resource thus leading to a lack in directionality.

This is where a partial masculine energy brings balance to the feminine. If your girlfriend has been talking about starting up a project/business/hobby “one day” for too long, it is your masculine energy that helps her realize that “one day” can be today.

How Masculine And Feminine Energies Work Together

Masculine and feminine energies balance each other out in all areas of your life.

In sex, the feminine is the receptive, loving energy (“Relax. You’re with me now.”) whereas the masculine is the penetrating, opening energy (“Open to me. Show me everything you have.”)

In parenting, the feminine is the cautious, nurturing lifeguard (“Be careful!”) and the masculine is the encouraging, reckless cheerleader (“GO! Run faster! You can do it!”)

In love, the feminine says “Slow down and see the brilliance of everything around you,” while the masculine says “All of this brilliance is temporary. Live out your dreams starting today.”

When To Push And When To Pull

Our strengths can handle being challenged. If you associate primarily with your masculine, having someone challenge you to accomplish a goal is invigorating. If you associate with your feminine, having someone ask you to relax and enjoy yourself is simple; it is already in your nature.

But when your weakness is being challenged, it can be painful. That’s because our weaknesses need to be encouraged, not challenged.

Our weaknesses are where we are vulnerable. If you push too hard where your partner may already feel inadequate, it can be destructive to your relationship. Remember that you are on the same team. You should encourage each other to grow with patience and persistence, but never force it.

Where Are You Currently?

Neither energy is the right one nor is one more valuable than the other.

Currently in western society, we are recovering from a world where masculine energy was valued above the feminine. The poles are just starting to turn.

We used to live in a very doing and building economy but are now moving into a more community-minded, creative economy that values thoughts and ideas. Society is beginning to find value in inspirational leaders rather than heavy-handed bosses and in social change instead of maximized profits. Though we are far from living in a world that values feminine energy nearly enough, we’re making our way toward it.

I encourage you to be aware of where your energy falls on the spectrum. Don’t get stuck in laser beam mode, where you may find yourself focusing on one area of your life to an unbalanced fault. Be careful also to avoid the possible chaotic and directionless hurricane mode. Allowing yourself to be governed by 100% masculinity or femininity is damaging. These energies were meant to exist together.

Dedicated to your success,

Jordan

Ps. Confused or offended by any of this stuff? Leave a question or comment below…

Pps. Feel like you might be a bit unbalanced when it comes to your love life? Let’s chat.

Blog

Related

See All
How To Ease Into Love When Love Terrifies You
Nov 10, 2014
Jordan Gray
How To Ease Into Love When Love Terrifies You
“The world will break your heart ten ways to Sunday. That’s guaranteed.” - Bradley Cooper in Silver Linings Playbook We all suffer tragedies in life. Break ups, abandonments, lost loved ones, and countless other bumps and bruises will take their toll on our hearts as we live. It’s so tempting...
Continue Reading
The Shifting Role Of Relationships In Modern Society
Feb 1, 2016
Jordan Gray
The Shifting Role Of Relationships In Modern Society
Something’s happening… and I’m pretty sure you’ve noticed it too. The role of relationships in our lives, and the reasons that people get married have shifted. Slowly at first, and now more rapidly. I believe that the primary reason that people have gotten married over the last 150 years has transitioned...
Continue Reading
This Woman Changed My Life Forever
Jul 30, 2016
Jordan Gray
This Woman Changed My Life Forever
At the beginning of 2014 I set out with the intention to fall more deeply in love with myself than I ever had before. And when I get an idea in my head, I commit to it fully. I hired a self-love coach that I checked in with at least once per week. I started working with a therapist to dig into some...
Continue Reading
What Most People Get Wrong About Happiness
Apr 26, 2016
Jordan Gray
What Most People Get Wrong About Happiness
The date was December 31st, 2015... While taking a weekend vacation in a cabin in the woods, I sat across from my girlfriend as we wrote down our goals for the coming year. When we revealed our sets of goals to each other, they couldn’t have been more different. My goals all had numbers attached to...
Continue Reading
I Believe In Loving Like You Give A Shit
Dec 13, 2015
Jordan Gray
I Believe In Loving Like You Give A Shit
I believe in loving like you give a shit. I believe in being overly affectionate in public. Even if it means that those who are envious label you as 'that couple' or tell you to get a room. I believe in flirting with someone you’ve been with for years. I believe in seeking out our barriers to intimacy...
Continue Reading
The Real Reason You're Disconnected From Your Body
Aug 5, 2017
Jordan Gray
The Real Reason You’re Disconnected From Your Body
Whether you numb yourself with work, alcohol, sex, drugs, constant social stimulation, sleeping 12+ hours a day, or anything else you use... Whether you're afraid to meditate, go to bed at night and be alone with your racing thoughts, sit still and breathe for a few minutes, or you're constantly busying...
Continue Reading