Modern life makes it incredibly easy for men to become weak.
You can get sexual stimulation without approaching a woman, food without leaving the couch, entertainment without moving your body, drugs to change almost any internal state, and endless dopamine without accomplishing anything.
Today, I’m going to dive into five of the most common, modern ways that I see men weakening themselves on a daily basis.
These modern blights quietly chip away at men’s energy, strength, and vitality. But the good news is that every one of these habits can be changed, and much of the damage can be reversed.
So, if you’re a man who feels that everything in his life is perfect, no need to read on.
But if you’re a man who is always looking for the next edge in how to become a certified badass, this one’s for you.
I’ve supported many men in getting rid of the following five habits, and have exclusively seen significant upticks in overall vigor, effectiveness, and confidence.
Without further ado, here are five modern habits that make men worse than they need to be.
5 Modern Habits That Make Men Weaker
1. Following/Liking/Engaging with attractive women’s social media posts
This point is primarily for men who are in committed relationships, but it also goes for men who are single.
The amount of wasted energy that goes into engaging with attractive women’s social media posts is mind-blowing.
It’s the digital equivalent of winking at… whistling at… or otherwise gently letting your presence be known to an attractive woman.
Single men tend to do it way too much, and coupled-up men do it entirely too much (from where I stand, at all is too much).
Single men engage in this behavior as a kind of ‘Hey, notice me’ passive approach. Easier to just double tap an Instagram post than have to approach her in public, right?
And men who are in relationships tend to do it as a diversified invulnerability strategy. Like, if this current relationship doesn’t work out, I’ve still got a few irons in the fire.
I will say this in no uncertain terms. This behavior is a complete waste of time and attention.
I mean, you would never be walking in public with your girlfriend/wife and go up to an attractive woman and hand her a $10 bill just because, right? Right. Then why are you sending little hits of social capital to attractive strangers? Makes zero sense.
Regardless of whether you’re currently single, dating, or married, I would strongly recommend combing through your social media account and unfollowing any and all attractive women/warm leads that you’re cultivating digitally. It’s a waste of time and produces nothing of value for your overall life.
2. Watching porn
I’ve talked about giving up porn entirely to men before and am always met with the strangest objections.
Like, really? Of all the things you want to hold onto it’s touching yourself to digital pixels of other people having sex?
Energy drain aside, watching even moderate amounts of porn over the long term has been shown for many men to result in psychologically induced erectile dysfunction (aka your penis will have a more difficult time getting and staying hard when you’re with an actual woman).
That’s because porn is what’s known as an arousal addiction. And arousal addictions (unlike drug addictions that have you wanting more of the same thing) are characterized by your brain needing more different. And one, real-life, static woman isn’t the same thing as being able to click through a thousand different women within a few minutes and filling your computer screen with several different windows of your favorite porn clips.
My advice? Drop porn altogether.
You’ll have more energy, more organic arousal for your partner (or for your eventual significant other), and a stronger erection for life. So really, not a bad trade.
3. Masturbating
Somewhat tied to the previous point, studies show that modern men are masturbating more than men of previous generations. Two common reasons cited are 1) the decrease in partnered sex (what is often referred to as the ‘sex recession’) and 2) the proliferation of free pornography that is widely available.
But something that men often fail to realize is that sexual energy isn’t just for sexual (aka physical) expression. Sexual energy is creative energy. It is our central life force. And it can be used and harnessed for anything we want to do in our lives.
Think of it like a wellspring of motivation. We can either utilize it to be more alive and effective in life, or we can squander it and live our lives in a half-muted, low-motivation state.
While giving up masturbation entirely will generally be more difficult for younger men (i.e. men under 30 years old), it can be achieved by anyone with a sincere desire to become a more effective person.
So if you’ve never gone a full week without masturbation/ejaculation, try it out. If you’ve never gone two weeks, try that out. Whatever your current edge is, give it a shot and see how you feel.
You might be surprised at how much more raw, clean-burning energy you have to meet the demands of your life with.
4. Little to no physical movement
Modern men are more sedentary than previous generations of men.
Again, it isn’t hard to see why that could be the case.
We live in a time of truly unprecedented convenience and ease. Most anything can be done for us at the literal push of a button.
Don’t feel like making food? Just order your highly palatable dinner through an app.
Don’t want to set up your new bed frame? Order a human via your phone who will come over today and do it for you.
Don’t feel like working up the courage to approach that woman in real life? Just open a new browser tab, hit “P” and then “Return” on your keyboard and you can access millions of sexually available women who never say no.
I recently heard a client remark that he often feels like he’s just a “brain with hands” going through life. Like his life felt like a VR game and that he was just watching it through a screen.
This is the natural byproduct of rarely using our bodies for what they are intended for.
Our bodies (and minds) crave work, challenge, and effort.
If you’re averaging less than 4,000 steps a day and rarely work up any kind of a sweat, it’s easy to gaslight yourself into thinking you’re depressed or have an anxiety disorder. But what could also be the case is that you are a human being with a human body and you aren’t giving your body what it needs to function properly.
Living a life of little to no physical movement means your body isn’t getting what it needs. We are an incredibly soft generation of men, and we need to right the ship by starting with how we move through the world.
So, for the love of all that is holy, please, I beg you… find a form of physical movement that makes your heart pound and that adds muscle to your frame. Not just for the attractiveness boost. But primarily for every other benefit that comes from it.
5. Recreational drug use
Another thing that is easier to come by in modern times is all kinds of recreational drugs.
I mean… it is entirely possible that in your father’s time the easiest to access drug was just a weaker version of weed. But today, a verifiable Vegas-style buffet of drugs is available to most people by either going to a government-certified store or just asking a friend of a friend.
Weed, alcohol, and tobacco are easy to come by. But so are Adderall, Percocet, oxy, Xanax, Ambien.
Whatever justifications are used, drugs are drugs. And needing a substance to continually override your body’s state deserves examination.
If you feel like you can’t work without them… can’t fly without them… can’t party/socialize/have sex without them… then they have a hold on you that is working against you.
This can be as serious as an overt opioid addiction… or it can be as subtle as regularly consuming 300mg+ of daily caffeine in order to work out/study/function. Either way, it’s an issue.
Chemical dependencies are a crutch either way. So if this is something for you to audit, I’d recommend doing so sooner rather than later before it spirals into an even bigger problem.
So… No More Beer, Boobies, or DoorDash?
None of this is about becoming a perfectly optimized, monk-like man who never has any fun.
And it certainly isn’t about beating yourself up for the ways you’ve numbed out, checked out, or taken the easier path.
Modern life offers men an unprecedented number of ways to experience pleasure without effort, stimulation without accomplishment, and relief without actually changing the circumstances that made us want relief in the first place.
I think we’re all capable of more than that.
Men need challenge. We need things worth working for. We need to use our bodies, direct our attention intentionally, develop self-control, and put our energy toward people and pursuits that actually make our lives better.
I’m not asking you to audit your life and then change everything tomorrow.
But there’s value in looking honestly at your life and asking yourself…
Where am I regularly spending energy that gives me almost nothing meaningful in return?
Start there.
Plug one leak. Reclaim one piece of yourself. Put that energy toward your body, your work, your woman, your family, your friendships, your faith, or whatever else you know deserves more of you.
Then see what kind of man starts emerging.
Onwards.
Dedicated to your success,
Jordan
Ps. Did you enjoy this article? Then you’ll also love checking out the following:
– 7 Things That Helped Me Become A Man I Respect
– 11 Ways To Become A More Attractive Man (or How To Fight Entropy 101)
– 4 Difficult Ways For Men To Build Confidence
– Supercharge Your Sex Life (video series for men)
