May 3, 2015

A 23 Point Love Contract To Bulletproof Your Relationship

Want to strengthen your relationship? Print out the following words and sign it with your partner.

Dear (THE NAME OF YOUR PARTNER),

I promise to be gentle with you and your heart.

I promise to allow you to have access to my heart.

I promise to tell you the full truth even when it’s sometimes scary to do so.

I promise to put effort into learning how you most like to be listened to, and then listen to you in that way as often as I can.

I promise to love and support you when you need it, and lovingly push and encourage you when you need it.

I promise that I will make myself as emotionally fulfilled as possible in my own life, in order that I can show up as my best self for our relationship.

I promise to be aware of, and own, my own emotional triggers and to never hold you responsible for my emotional response to things.

I promise to not waste precious time or energy worrying about who to place blame on. It gets us nowhere and it distracts from our collective goal of coming back to a place of love and connection.

I acknowledge that you are not your parents… and I am not my parents… and although we likely have some residual habits that they passed on to us, we can choose a new way if their way doesn’t work for us.

I promise to assume that you have the best of intentions.

I promise to assume that you are always coming from a place of love.

I promise to love and accept every side of you and all of your emotions, moods, and insecurities.

I promise to support you in your career, hobbies, passions, and anything else that makes you happy.

I promise to continually put effort into our relationship.

I promise to make distractions-free connection time a priority on a regular basis.

I promise to have a one-on-one date night with you at least once every month, no matter how busy or stressful life becomes.

I promise to always be open to talking about our sex life, no matter how challenging certain conversations might be to have.

I promise to always look for how you might be hurting in the moments when you try to push me away.

I promise to never hold the relationship hostage. I will never say “Then why are we even doing this?” or threaten our partnership in any way.

I promise to always cherish our relationship and celebrate it as the safe container for growth that it is.

I promise to always make you feel as safe, comfortable, and seen as possible.

Regarding all of the aforementioned statements, I acknowledge that when I say “never” or “always”, I will inevitably make mistakes. I am human, and I am not perfect. But I promise to always do my best and to promptly acknowledge when I have messed up.

And above all else, I promise to love you.

Sincerely,

(YOUR NAME)

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
The 3 Timeless Laws Of Attraction
Oct 16, 2013
Jordan Gray
The 3 Timeless Laws Of Attraction
Humans are fairly predictable creatures. Because of this, we crave a sense of differentiation. We all want to be unique. We want to feel special. We want to believe that the rules that apply to all people don’t automatically apply to us. But you know something… It's okay to be human. And...
Continue Reading
Is The World Really Ready For Emotional Men?
Nov 12, 2014
Jordan Gray
Is The World Really Ready For Emotional Men?
I was having a conversation with a close friend recently when he posed the question to me… “Is the world really ready for emotional men?” There are so many factors playing into this question (and answer), but I will gladly venture in and lay open this topic. First of all, yes, I do believe...
Continue Reading
8 Vital Things Women Need to Know About Men
Jan 2, 2020
Jordan Gray
8 Vital Things Women Need to Know About Men
Shelves have been filled with books trying to explain the sexes to each other. Despite what some want to believe, we have our differences. And there’s nothing bad about that. It’s not about better or worse. It just is what it is. When it comes to men and women, there are statistically...
Continue Reading
Own The Part Of You That Wants To Remain A Child Forever
Feb 24, 2020
Jordan Gray
Own The Part Of You That Wants To Remain A Child Forever
There is a part in all of us that wants to remain a child forever. Chopping the food and tending the fire brings its own satisfaction... but a part of us just wants the resulting warmth, without all of the effort. Wouldn't it be nice to have your dream relationship run on autopilot... without having...
Continue Reading
This Is The One Thing You Always Have Control Over
Feb 21, 2016
Jordan Gray
This Is The One Thing You Always Have Control Over
We really can’t control much of anything in our funny little lives. We grasp for control. We grasp for meaning. We grasp for a semblance of purpose in everything that we do. In my opinion, there’s only one thing that we can ever truly control. And I’ll tell you what that is. But first, a story. My...
Continue Reading
How To Make A Full Time Income From Blogging (A Complete Guide)
Feb 12, 2017
Jordan Gray
How To Make A Full Time Income From Blogging (A Complete Guide)
Do you want to write for a living? Do you want to own your own business? Do you want to make more money, working fewer hours, while never having to go to an office, ever again? Well, guess what... not only is it totally doable, it’s never been more doable at any other point in the history of humanity. The...
Continue Reading