May 3, 2015

A 23 Point Love Contract To Bulletproof Your Relationship

Want to strengthen your relationship? Print out the following words and sign it with your partner.

Dear (THE NAME OF YOUR PARTNER),

I promise to be gentle with you and your heart.

I promise to allow you to have access to my heart.

I promise to tell you the full truth even when it’s sometimes scary to do so.

I promise to put effort into learning how you most like to be listened to, and then listen to you in that way as often as I can.

I promise to love and support you when you need it, and lovingly push and encourage you when you need it.

I promise that I will make myself as emotionally fulfilled as possible in my own life, in order that I can show up as my best self for our relationship.

I promise to be aware of, and own, my own emotional triggers and to never hold you responsible for my emotional response to things.

I promise to not waste precious time or energy worrying about who to place blame on. It gets us nowhere and it distracts from our collective goal of coming back to a place of love and connection.

I acknowledge that you are not your parents… and I am not my parents… and although we likely have some residual habits that they passed on to us, we can choose a new way if their way doesn’t work for us.

I promise to assume that you have the best of intentions.

I promise to assume that you are always coming from a place of love.

I promise to love and accept every side of you and all of your emotions, moods, and insecurities.

I promise to support you in your career, hobbies, passions, and anything else that makes you happy.

I promise to continually put effort into our relationship.

I promise to make distractions-free connection time a priority on a regular basis.

I promise to have a one-on-one date night with you at least once every month, no matter how busy or stressful life becomes.

I promise to always be open to talking about our sex life, no matter how challenging certain conversations might be to have.

I promise to always look for how you might be hurting in the moments when you try to push me away.

I promise to never hold the relationship hostage. I will never say “Then why are we even doing this?” or threaten our partnership in any way.

I promise to always cherish our relationship and celebrate it as the safe container for growth that it is.

I promise to always make you feel as safe, comfortable, and seen as possible.

Regarding all of the aforementioned statements, I acknowledge that when I say “never” or “always”, I will inevitably make mistakes. I am human, and I am not perfect. But I promise to always do my best and to promptly acknowledge when I have messed up.

And above all else, I promise to love you.

Sincerely,

(YOUR NAME)

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
The 60 Day Radical Self-Care Challenge
Jul 24, 2016
Jordan Gray
The 60 Day Radical Self-Care Challenge
Self-care is often seen as a self-indulgent luxury reserved for people with a high sense of self-importance, and that’s a problem. It's cool to be soooo busy. The societal narrative goes that it's impressive to not have enough time to rest, play, or sleep well. The word 'selfish' has been demonized. The...
Continue Reading
21 Of The Best Self Care Practices Ever
Apr 4, 2016
Jordan Gray
21 Of The Best Self Care Practices Ever
All self care practices are not created equally. Some self care practices (deep breathing, reading, nutritionally dense meals, etc.) you can indulge in to your heart’s content, whereas others have a bit of a shorter shelf life in terms of effectiveness (like watching TV for hours on end, eating brownies,...
Continue Reading
How Humility Makes You A Better Person (5 Action Steps)
Jul 27, 2013
Jordan Gray
How Humility Makes You A Better Person (5 Action Steps)
Humility is a much overlooked concept in modern society. A quick search of humility from Google brings up synonyms like "meekness, lowliness, submission".  Generally speaking, humility is seen as having a low estimate of one's own importance or accomplishments. This is an outdated definition of...
Continue Reading
Why It's Easier Than Ever To Stand Out From The Crowd
Jun 4, 2013
Jordan Gray
Why It’s Easier Than Ever To Stand Out From The Crowd
We live in a society of instant gratification. There is always an easy way out or shortcut to take advantage of.  Men are being encouraged to do the bare minimum to achieve result in their lives.  And this trend is negatively affecting modern masculinity. The masculine in you thrives off of being...
Continue Reading
How To Put On Muscle (For Skinny Guys)
Dec 9, 2019
Jordan Gray
How To Put On Muscle (For Skinny Guys)
Want to have the healthiest and most capable body of your entire life? Want to get so thick… so swole… so yoked… that people get whiplash as they walk by you from double-taking so hard? Want to learn how to have such crazy-huge, bulging muscles, that you can easily lift a two-tonne car with your bare...
Continue Reading
The Best Type Of Partner For An Entrepreneur
Mar 11, 2014
Jordan Gray
The Best Type Of Partner For An Entrepreneur
Undoubtedly by this point in your life you have realized that many of society's rules don't apply to you. The structure of school didn't work for you… You didn't fit the mold of the corporate world… And your dating life has always been a bit of a unique one. You didn't blindly accept one...
Continue Reading