May 9, 2013

How Making Mistakes Gets You Ahead In Life

Are you worried that you are messing up a lot in your life?

One of the most common concerns that I get from my clients is that they feel like they are failing. They feel like they are failing in life… in their careers… and in their relationships.

If you sometimes feel this way, then you are exactly where you should be.

One of my favourite ways of looking at life… is that it is a never-ending series of mistakes. You are constantly messing up, and there is no other way around it (cue my perfectionist readers’ panic attacks).

Commercial airplanes are off their flight path 95% of the time that they are heading towards a destination. Stan Lee juggled dozens of crappy jobs until he invented Spiderman (at 40 years old). Halle Berry and Jim Carrey were homeless before they found fame.

All this is to say… if you feel like you don’t know what you are doing with your life half of the time, then congratulations, you are doing just fine.

In fact, here are three areas in which you should start making more mistakes…

1. Your career

Finding your ultimate career will usually take going through a ton of jobs that you don’t enjoy.

Hugh Jackman worked as a party clown. Young Brad Pitt wore a giant chicken suit to advertise for a fast food restaurant. Harrison Ford was a carpenter when George Lucas hired him in to the Star Wars franchise.

As long as you’re finding out what you don’t like, you’re always getting closer to what you do like.

2. Your habits

Emotion exists in relation to itself. If you have never felt devastating heartbreak or grief, then you will not fully appreciate the joy and happiness in your life.

It’s a good idea every now and then to slide back in your habits to remind yourself of the consequences.

You’re not generally a big drinker but one day you go overboard and get wasted? The hangover will remind you why you don’t drink. Do you get a lot out of seeing your friends? That week away from them will affect your emotional fulfillment more than you think. You’re usually a full-time gym rat but you haven’t been going for a few weeks? That sprint towards the bus will remind you of your fitness level.

3. Your relationships

It’s a too-common cop out for people to tell themselves “I don’t want to date right now, I’m waiting for someone who is truly special“.

Although having high standards is certainly important, if you don’t have much of a dating history under your belt then you might not know what you’re looking for in a partner.

Just as it is rare to fall into your dream job right out of college, it is equally unlikely that you will find your ideal match in your first lover. So get out there, taste the rainbow a bit, and discover what you do and don’t like in your partners.

And remember…

As long as you are on a continuous loop of messing up and learning, then you’re doing just fine.

Experience comes come from getting things wrong.  A lot.

Think about it…

To your continued success,

Jordan

Blog

Related

See All
The Single Most Damaging Thing I Learned As A Pickup Artist
Aug 6, 2016
Jordan Gray
The Single Most Damaging Thing I Learned As A Pickup Artist
From 2009-2012 I worked as a pickup artist. Technically, it was a milder version of pickup. We taught social skills (conversational agility, eye contact, humour, body language, etc.) to people with some level of social anxiety but it was almost always within the context of approaching and dating women. And...
Continue Reading
How I Healed My Relationship With Men
Sep 18, 2016
Jordan Gray
How I Healed My Relationship With Men
For the majority of my life, I have largely distrusted men. Being raised in the 1980’s and 90’s when third wave feminism was starting up and gaining momentum, I received a heavy dose of “This is how men are currently damaging the world” during my childhood conditioning. As a reaction to this...
Continue Reading
5 Signs That You Are Truly Living
Sep 17, 2013
Jordan Gray
5 Signs That You Are Truly Living
Are you truly living? Have you ever blown out the candles on your birthday cake and thought to yourself, "Another year already?" There is a big difference between living your life, and feeling alive in your life. If you're simply living your life, you’re probably used to monotony. Life...
Continue Reading
How Do Your Abandonment Issues Affect Your Love Life?
Mar 24, 2014
Jordan Gray
How Do Your Abandonment Issues Affect Your Love Life?
Everyone feels the pain of abandonment at some point in their lives. Whether it was as blatant as a parent abandoning you at a young age, or as subtle as an emotionally intense relationship ending abruptly, everyone feels the sting of abandonment at some point in their journey. So what is aban...
Continue Reading
This Is The Point Of Life
Jan 21, 2017
Jordan Gray
This Is The Point Of Life
We take life so seriously. We’re running from one milestone to the next… thinking that all we are is the sum total of our accomplishments. “Forget human being… I’m a human doing!”, cries the collective wounded unconscious. But we forgot something that our inner child still remembers... The point...
Continue Reading
Do Something About It
Oct 1, 2016
Jordan Gray
Do Something About It
Life expands and contracts to the degree that you courageously move in the direction of your desires. In other words, you will be consistently rewarded for taking action, or consistently punished for doing nothing. Even more simply… If you’re not happy with something in your life… DO SOMETHING...
Continue Reading