Jun 13, 2013

How To Remove Your Limiting Beliefs In Under 10 Minutes

You have certain beliefs in your mind that hold you back from living your fullest life.  Beliefs about money, career, women… and for the sake of keeping things simple let’s call all of these ‘limiting beliefs’.

If you were a speedboat these limiting beliefs would be the invisible anchors that weigh you down.  Some days your engine might be ready to go full throttle, but you can still feel something holding you back from creating momentum in your life.

Your limiting beliefs could be thoughts such as: “I’m not good enough”, “I don’t deserve that level of happiness”, or “She’s out of my league”.

Limiting beliefs are often installed in our minds by our well-meaning family, our friends, media, or our societal upbringing.  It is 100% not your fault that these beliefs exist in your mind, but it is 100% your responsibility to take steps to remove these.

Where most people falter in dealing with their limiting beliefs is that they take steps to become aware of them, but they do nothing to remove or replace them.

Today, I’m going to go through the exact structure that will allow you to remove these limiting beliefs from your subconscious mind once and for all.

Do these five steps, in this order, every time you feel that something internal is holding you back…

1. Name Your Demons

Use the ancient art of sentence completion to have your mind fill in the blank.  Write down “I am afraid that…” and finish the sentence ten times.

The sentences that come out in this stage are your limiting beliefs that hold you back.

Ex. “I am afraid that… I will always struggle in my dating life”

If you can’t think of ten different beliefs try thinking about multiple areas of your life… financial, romantic, social, happiness, self-worth, career fulfillment, etc.

2. Face Your Demons

Now under each of your limiting beliefs you want to write 3-5 ‘reasons why’ you fear those things.  This is really digging into the core of these issues and is often more surprising than the beliefs themselves.

Ex. “I am afraid that I will always struggle romantically… because my parents fought a lot when I was young and I feel like I will probably end up like them and I want to avoid that pain.”

3. Punch Your Demons In The Face

The third step is about disproving your limiting beliefs.

Under each of your limiting beliefs, write down as many points of evidence to the contrary as you can.  Go for at least five per limiting belief.  Think of everything in your life (no matter how big or small they may seem) that stands in contrast to your old limiting belief and make note of them.

Ex. “I don’t need to fear struggle in my romantic life because I am an increasingly valuable partner that women respond well to for a reason.”

4. Write Your New Empowered Belief

Now here is the real ninja part…

Reference the old belief briefly, and then in a realistic but compelling manner, state the new empowered belief for each of your ten limiting beliefs.

Ex. “Although I sometimes stress about women, I know that it is unavoidable that I will be successful in my love life. Whenever I have put mind to it, I have been able to get into a relationship with ease.”

5. Repeat As Needed

Some beliefs are rooted more deeply than others.  Although one session is often enough to give you massive clarity, you may find it helpful to repeat this process multiple times over the course of a month to really uproot your old limiting beliefs.

I can guarantee there’s nothing quite like removing an unconscious belief that has held you back for years, to feel the true freedom and ease that a free mind enables you with.

Mental Handcuffs

Remember to watch out for new limiting beliefs that are thrown at you by others.  Having a certain level of skepticism towards any advice that is thrown your way is a necessary step in your process.

It is too easy to go with the flow in life and agree with what everyone else collectively thinks is “the right way” to do things.  But this is most often not the best thing to do for your character growth.

Whenever people say phrases such as “the way things are…”, “you should…”, or “the only way to…”, then you can be fairly certain that a limiting belief is being tossed your way.  Learn to recognize these statements for what they are… someone putting their limiting belief on you.

So keep your logic hat on, while feeling deeper than your thought process, and set your life’s path on your terms.

I wish you the best of luck in your process, and feel free to reach out if you want more help with the exercise.

Dedicated to your success,

Jordan

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
It’s Terrifying And Then It’s Amazing
Apr 8, 2016
Jordan Gray
It’s Terrifying And Then It’s Amazing
I’m going on an airplane tomorrow. And I really, truly do not enjoy flying. I know… it’s a modern miracle… and it’s all “WOW I’M IN THE SKY RIGHT NOW!”… but I can’t help but feel like we’re going to drop out of the sky at any moment. Even though that’s fairly impossible. And even though there’s a way...
Continue Reading
The 3 Best Questions You Could Ever Ask Your Partner
May 16, 2015
Jordan Gray
The 3 Best Questions You Could Ever Ask Your Partner
One of the worst things that we do in our intimate relationships is make assumptions. We assume that our partners receive love in the same manner that we do. We assume that our partners expect the same things from marriage. We assume that our partner defines monogamy the same as we do. The assumptions...
Continue Reading
5 Signs That You Are Truly Living
Sep 17, 2013
Jordan Gray
5 Signs That You Are Truly Living
Are you truly living? Have you ever blown out the candles on your birthday cake and thought to yourself, "Another year already?" There is a big difference between living your life, and feeling alive in your life. If you're simply living your life, you’re probably used to monotony. Life...
Continue Reading
Get Off The Hamster Wheel Before It Throws You Off
Aug 19, 2017
Jordan Gray
Get Off The Hamster Wheel Before It Throws You Off
I was talking to a new client a few days ago who was at his whit's end... He was exhausted. Burnt out. Tired all the time. His energy levels were shot. His neck and shoulders were always tense. He wasn't digesting with ease. His body was upset with him. He told me that he hadn't felt truly happy...
Continue Reading
7 Things I Want You To Remember If I Die Young
Nov 10, 2018
Jordan Gray
7 Things I Want You To Remember If I Die Young
I’ve lost two close friends over the past few years. One was 25 years old, the other was 30. And, without hyperbole or rose-coloured glasses on my face, I can easily say that they were both some of the best people I have ever known. The kind of people that make me think ‘Only the good die young’...
Continue Reading
5 Steps To A More Integrated Masculinity
Jun 7, 2019
Jordan Gray
5 Steps To A More Integrated Masculinity
Men are not born men. They become men through intention. To develop and integrate your masculinity, and truly feel like a man, you’ll have to put in particular types of effort in specific areas. Because, unlike pubic hair, masculinity and psychological maturity aren't automatic achievements you unlock...
Continue Reading