Jun 13, 2013

How To Remove Your Limiting Beliefs In Under 10 Minutes

You have certain beliefs in your mind that hold you back from living your fullest life.  Beliefs about money, career, women… and for the sake of keeping things simple let’s call all of these ‘limiting beliefs’.

If you were a speedboat these limiting beliefs would be the invisible anchors that weigh you down.  Some days your engine might be ready to go full throttle, but you can still feel something holding you back from creating momentum in your life.

Your limiting beliefs could be thoughts such as: “I’m not good enough”, “I don’t deserve that level of happiness”, or “She’s out of my league”.

Limiting beliefs are often installed in our minds by our well-meaning family, our friends, media, or our societal upbringing.  It is 100% not your fault that these beliefs exist in your mind, but it is 100% your responsibility to take steps to remove these.

Where most people falter in dealing with their limiting beliefs is that they take steps to become aware of them, but they do nothing to remove or replace them.

Today, I’m going to go through the exact structure that will allow you to remove these limiting beliefs from your subconscious mind once and for all.

Do these five steps, in this order, every time you feel that something internal is holding you back…

1. Name Your Demons

Use the ancient art of sentence completion to have your mind fill in the blank.  Write down “I am afraid that…” and finish the sentence ten times.

The sentences that come out in this stage are your limiting beliefs that hold you back.

Ex. “I am afraid that… I will always struggle in my dating life”

If you can’t think of ten different beliefs try thinking about multiple areas of your life… financial, romantic, social, happiness, self-worth, career fulfillment, etc.

2. Face Your Demons

Now under each of your limiting beliefs you want to write 3-5 ‘reasons why’ you fear those things.  This is really digging into the core of these issues and is often more surprising than the beliefs themselves.

Ex. “I am afraid that I will always struggle romantically… because my parents fought a lot when I was young and I feel like I will probably end up like them and I want to avoid that pain.”

3. Punch Your Demons In The Face

The third step is about disproving your limiting beliefs.

Under each of your limiting beliefs, write down as many points of evidence to the contrary as you can.  Go for at least five per limiting belief.  Think of everything in your life (no matter how big or small they may seem) that stands in contrast to your old limiting belief and make note of them.

Ex. “I don’t need to fear struggle in my romantic life because I am an increasingly valuable partner that women respond well to for a reason.”

4. Write Your New Empowered Belief

Now here is the real ninja part…

Reference the old belief briefly, and then in a realistic but compelling manner, state the new empowered belief for each of your ten limiting beliefs.

Ex. “Although I sometimes stress about women, I know that it is unavoidable that I will be successful in my love life. Whenever I have put mind to it, I have been able to get into a relationship with ease.”

5. Repeat As Needed

Some beliefs are rooted more deeply than others.  Although one session is often enough to give you massive clarity, you may find it helpful to repeat this process multiple times over the course of a month to really uproot your old limiting beliefs.

I can guarantee there’s nothing quite like removing an unconscious belief that has held you back for years, to feel the true freedom and ease that a free mind enables you with.

Mental Handcuffs

Remember to watch out for new limiting beliefs that are thrown at you by others.  Having a certain level of skepticism towards any advice that is thrown your way is a necessary step in your process.

It is too easy to go with the flow in life and agree with what everyone else collectively thinks is “the right way” to do things.  But this is most often not the best thing to do for your character growth.

Whenever people say phrases such as “the way things are…”, “you should…”, or “the only way to…”, then you can be fairly certain that a limiting belief is being tossed your way.  Learn to recognize these statements for what they are… someone putting their limiting belief on you.

So keep your logic hat on, while feeling deeper than your thought process, and set your life’s path on your terms.

I wish you the best of luck in your process, and feel free to reach out if you want more help with the exercise.

Dedicated to your success,

Jordan

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
Suicidal To Successful To Self-Loving: The First 33 Years Of My Life
May 25, 2020
Jordan Gray
Suicidal To Successful To Self-Loving: The First 33 Years Of My Life
The following is a summary of the first 33 years of my life. Kind of like a thus-far-autobiography. It should be noted that I am an unreliable narrator... as all narrators are. Because my perspectives are only my own. I'm sure some facts are muddied by my highly fallible human memory, especially...
Continue Reading
30 Pieces of Advice From 30 Couples Married 30+ Years
Dec 16, 2018
Jordan Gray
30 Pieces of Advice From 30 Couples Married 30+ Years
Ever wanted to hear from a trusted board of advisors on the topic of sustaining long-term love? Well, you’re in luck. I searched high and low to find thirty couples who had been happily married for over thirty years, and asked them what one piece of advice they would give to anyone who...
Continue Reading
The Long Term Investment Strategy Of Finding Your True Love
Feb 24, 2014
Jordan Gray
The Long Term Investment Strategy Of Finding Your True Love
There are two ways you can go about getting anything in life. The short cut, or the long road. There are pros and cons to each but, overall, I think you intuitively know that we don't value that which we don't work for. And good things come to those who wait. What's Wrong With Rush...
Continue Reading
The 3 Best And Worst Things To Say To Someone With Depression
Oct 1, 2016
Jordan Gray
The 3 Best And Worst Things To Say To Someone With Depression
I was sitting in my men’s group last night when one of the men revealed that he had been suffering with depression and suicidal ideation for the past several weeks. Without prompting, half a dozen of the guys in the room started to rattle off some of the least productive things that you can say to someone...
Continue Reading
How To Respond When Someone Tells You They’re Feeling Suicidal
Jan 3, 2020
Jordan Gray
How To Respond When Someone Tells You They’re Feeling Suicidal
The topics of mental health and depression didn’t rise into mainstream conversation until a few years ago. While it’s better late than never, this sadly means the majority of us were never openly educated on how to support someone who is struggling and contemplating suicide. Many people were trained...
Continue Reading
12 Questions To Drastically Strengthen Your Relationship
Jan 6, 2020
Jordan Gray
12 Questions To Drastically Strengthen Your Relationship
Once people get past the early romance phase of a relationship, it can start to run on autopilot to an unhealthy degree. In short, people stop paying quality attention. Both to their partner, and to how they themselves are showing up in the relationship. Fortunately, if you get better at asking...
Continue Reading