Jun 13, 2013

How To Remove Your Limiting Beliefs In Under 10 Minutes

You have certain beliefs in your mind that hold you back from living your fullest life.  Beliefs about money, career, women… and for the sake of keeping things simple let’s call all of these ‘limiting beliefs’.

If you were a speedboat these limiting beliefs would be the invisible anchors that weigh you down.  Some days your engine might be ready to go full throttle, but you can still feel something holding you back from creating momentum in your life.

Your limiting beliefs could be thoughts such as: “I’m not good enough”, “I don’t deserve that level of happiness”, or “She’s out of my league”.

Limiting beliefs are often installed in our minds by our well-meaning family, our friends, media, or our societal upbringing.  It is 100% not your fault that these beliefs exist in your mind, but it is 100% your responsibility to take steps to remove these.

Where most people falter in dealing with their limiting beliefs is that they take steps to become aware of them, but they do nothing to remove or replace them.

Today, I’m going to go through the exact structure that will allow you to remove these limiting beliefs from your subconscious mind once and for all.

Do these five steps, in this order, every time you feel that something internal is holding you back…

1. Name Your Demons

Use the ancient art of sentence completion to have your mind fill in the blank.  Write down “I am afraid that…” and finish the sentence ten times.

The sentences that come out in this stage are your limiting beliefs that hold you back.

Ex. “I am afraid that… I will always struggle in my dating life”

If you can’t think of ten different beliefs try thinking about multiple areas of your life… financial, romantic, social, happiness, self-worth, career fulfillment, etc.

2. Face Your Demons

Now under each of your limiting beliefs you want to write 3-5 ‘reasons why’ you fear those things.  This is really digging into the core of these issues and is often more surprising than the beliefs themselves.

Ex. “I am afraid that I will always struggle romantically… because my parents fought a lot when I was young and I feel like I will probably end up like them and I want to avoid that pain.”

3. Punch Your Demons In The Face

The third step is about disproving your limiting beliefs.

Under each of your limiting beliefs, write down as many points of evidence to the contrary as you can.  Go for at least five per limiting belief.  Think of everything in your life (no matter how big or small they may seem) that stands in contrast to your old limiting belief and make note of them.

Ex. “I don’t need to fear struggle in my romantic life because I am an increasingly valuable partner that women respond well to for a reason.”

4. Write Your New Empowered Belief

Now here is the real ninja part…

Reference the old belief briefly, and then in a realistic but compelling manner, state the new empowered belief for each of your ten limiting beliefs.

Ex. “Although I sometimes stress about women, I know that it is unavoidable that I will be successful in my love life. Whenever I have put mind to it, I have been able to get into a relationship with ease.”

5. Repeat As Needed

Some beliefs are rooted more deeply than others.  Although one session is often enough to give you massive clarity, you may find it helpful to repeat this process multiple times over the course of a month to really uproot your old limiting beliefs.

I can guarantee there’s nothing quite like removing an unconscious belief that has held you back for years, to feel the true freedom and ease that a free mind enables you with.

Mental Handcuffs

Remember to watch out for new limiting beliefs that are thrown at you by others.  Having a certain level of skepticism towards any advice that is thrown your way is a necessary step in your process.

It is too easy to go with the flow in life and agree with what everyone else collectively thinks is “the right way” to do things.  But this is most often not the best thing to do for your character growth.

Whenever people say phrases such as “the way things are…”, “you should…”, or “the only way to…”, then you can be fairly certain that a limiting belief is being tossed your way.  Learn to recognize these statements for what they are… someone putting their limiting belief on you.

So keep your logic hat on, while feeling deeper than your thought process, and set your life’s path on your terms.

I wish you the best of luck in your process, and feel free to reach out if you want more help with the exercise.

Dedicated to your success,

Jordan

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 18 years, with his work reaching over 250 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading a book, working out with his trainer, or spending time with his wife and son on the East Coast of the United States.

Blog

Related

See All
You Are Going To Die (So Here's How To Actually Live)
Dec 22, 2017
Jordan Gray
You Are Going To Die (So Here’s How To Actually Live)
I had my first heart attack at the age of 25. I was walking down the street, my arms went numb, my head started spinning, and my heart was pounding faster than it ever had in my life. I walked up to an off-duty ambulance paramedic and said, “I think I’m having a heart attack. I’m definitely...
Continue Reading
7 Ways To Get Your Physical Touch Needs Met When You’re Single
Dec 31, 2018
Jordan Gray
7 Ways To Get Your Physical Touch Needs Met When You’re Single
Yesterday, a close friend of mine asked me for ideas on how to get their physical touch needs met outside of a relationship (as they are currently single) and I realized I had a lot more to say on the matter than I would have assumed. So, in this article, I am going to dive into seven ways that...
Continue Reading
How To Take Ownership Of Your Love Life’s Success
Feb 23, 2015
Jordan Gray
How To Take Ownership Of Your Love Life’s Success
The majority of my private coaching clients are abnormally high functioning people. They’re self-employed and loving their work, they’re in good shape, and they have relatively conquerable issues in their love life. Over the past few years I’ve noticed a specific trend in the character traits of my...
Continue Reading
The 5 Best Books On Cultivating Healthy Relationships
Nov 4, 2015
Jordan Gray
The 5 Best Books On Cultivating Healthy Relationships
Sometimes I read a book and I’m like, "HOLY JEEBUS I AM TEN PAGES IN AND THIS THING HAS ALREADY CHANGED MY LIFE!" The following five books are some of my favourites of those kinds of books. Some of them primarily help you with your relationship to yourself (#'s 1, 2, and 3), and others primarily help...
Continue Reading
What Love Letter Will You Write To The World?
Mar 31, 2016
Jordan Gray
What Love Letter Will You Write To The World?
The fact that you exist is nothing short of a miracle. Your life is a gift. And how you live your life is your thank you letter to the universe. You can take your life for granted and live your life from a mindset of entitlement... or you can live from a place of gratitude paired with the intention...
Continue Reading
7 Of My Favourite Things That Make My Life Better
Aug 3, 2023
Jordan Gray
7 Of My Favourite Things That Make My Life Better
Over the last 10+ years of my writing reaching over 100 million people all around the world, I've been asked a lot of questions. What's my favourite sex toy, favourite cologne, favourite non-toxic dish soap, etc. etc.... Well today, I won't be talking about any of those things. But I will be...
Continue Reading