Jun 13, 2013

How To Remove Your Limiting Beliefs In Under 10 Minutes

You have certain beliefs in your mind that hold you back from living your fullest life.  Beliefs about money, career, women… and for the sake of keeping things simple let’s call all of these ‘limiting beliefs’.

If you were a speedboat these limiting beliefs would be the invisible anchors that weigh you down.  Some days your engine might be ready to go full throttle, but you can still feel something holding you back from creating momentum in your life.

Your limiting beliefs could be thoughts such as: “I’m not good enough”, “I don’t deserve that level of happiness”, or “She’s out of my league”.

Limiting beliefs are often installed in our minds by our well-meaning family, our friends, media, or our societal upbringing.  It is 100% not your fault that these beliefs exist in your mind, but it is 100% your responsibility to take steps to remove these.

Where most people falter in dealing with their limiting beliefs is that they take steps to become aware of them, but they do nothing to remove or replace them.

Today, I’m going to go through the exact structure that will allow you to remove these limiting beliefs from your subconscious mind once and for all.

Do these five steps, in this order, every time you feel that something internal is holding you back…

1. Name Your Demons

Use the ancient art of sentence completion to have your mind fill in the blank.  Write down “I am afraid that…” and finish the sentence ten times.

The sentences that come out in this stage are your limiting beliefs that hold you back.

Ex. “I am afraid that… I will always struggle in my dating life”

If you can’t think of ten different beliefs try thinking about multiple areas of your life… financial, romantic, social, happiness, self-worth, career fulfillment, etc.

2. Face Your Demons

Now under each of your limiting beliefs you want to write 3-5 ‘reasons why’ you fear those things.  This is really digging into the core of these issues and is often more surprising than the beliefs themselves.

Ex. “I am afraid that I will always struggle romantically… because my parents fought a lot when I was young and I feel like I will probably end up like them and I want to avoid that pain.”

3. Punch Your Demons In The Face

The third step is about disproving your limiting beliefs.

Under each of your limiting beliefs, write down as many points of evidence to the contrary as you can.  Go for at least five per limiting belief.  Think of everything in your life (no matter how big or small they may seem) that stands in contrast to your old limiting belief and make note of them.

Ex. “I don’t need to fear struggle in my romantic life because I am an increasingly valuable partner that women respond well to for a reason.”

4. Write Your New Empowered Belief

Now here is the real ninja part…

Reference the old belief briefly, and then in a realistic but compelling manner, state the new empowered belief for each of your ten limiting beliefs.

Ex. “Although I sometimes stress about women, I know that it is unavoidable that I will be successful in my love life. Whenever I have put mind to it, I have been able to get into a relationship with ease.”

5. Repeat As Needed

Some beliefs are rooted more deeply than others.  Although one session is often enough to give you massive clarity, you may find it helpful to repeat this process multiple times over the course of a month to really uproot your old limiting beliefs.

I can guarantee there’s nothing quite like removing an unconscious belief that has held you back for years, to feel the true freedom and ease that a free mind enables you with.

Mental Handcuffs

Remember to watch out for new limiting beliefs that are thrown at you by others.  Having a certain level of skepticism towards any advice that is thrown your way is a necessary step in your process.

It is too easy to go with the flow in life and agree with what everyone else collectively thinks is “the right way” to do things.  But this is most often not the best thing to do for your character growth.

Whenever people say phrases such as “the way things are…”, “you should…”, or “the only way to…”, then you can be fairly certain that a limiting belief is being tossed your way.  Learn to recognize these statements for what they are… someone putting their limiting belief on you.

So keep your logic hat on, while feeling deeper than your thought process, and set your life’s path on your terms.

I wish you the best of luck in your process, and feel free to reach out if you want more help with the exercise.

Dedicated to your success,

Jordan

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
3 Ways To Set Up Your Single Life For Success In Dating
Jun 16, 2014
Jordan Gray
3 Ways To Set Up Your Single Life For Success In Dating
It's all too easy to blindly fumble around from dysfunctional relationship to dysfunctional relationship. But does that mean that that's your only option? There are things that you can do in the space between your relationships that will set you up for success in your love life. Miss these, and...
Continue Reading
7 Simple Tips To Beat Anxiety Naturally
Jun 13, 2017
Jordan Gray
7 Simple Tips To Beat Anxiety Naturally
Over 40 million people in the United States alone, aged 18 and older, suffer from anxiety (roughly 18% of the total population). That's nearly one out of every five adults. How ridiculous is that? At what point do we allow ourselves to recognize that something is slightly off with the system that has...
Continue Reading
How I Healed My Relationship With Men
Sep 18, 2016
Jordan Gray
How I Healed My Relationship With Men
For the majority of my life, I have largely distrusted men. Being raised in the 1980’s and 90’s when third wave feminism was starting up and gaining momentum, I received a heavy dose of “This is how men are currently damaging the world” during my childhood conditioning. As a reaction to this...
Continue Reading
The Real Reason High Achievers Burn Out
Dec 7, 2025
Jordan Gray
The Real Reason High Achievers Burn Out
High achievers have a consistent problem that not enough people talk about publicly. They're disciplined, capable, responsible... and yet somehow still exhausted. They often have a million balls they're juggling in the air (people they're responsible for, livelihoods they support, people who come to...
Continue Reading
6 Connection Exercises For Couples To Build Intimacy
Nov 18, 2014
Jordan Gray
6 Connection Exercises For Couples To Build Intimacy
Over the past few years I’ve compiled a collection of connection exercises that have helped couples from all walks of life increase their intimacy and sense of connectedness. The couples that tend to flock towards coaching with me are not people who are on the brink of divorce but people who are already...
Continue Reading
Stop Lying To Yourself
Aug 18, 2017
Jordan Gray
Stop Lying To Yourself
If “the truth shall set you free”, then lying to yourself will imprison you. Adults are phenomenally adept at avoiding the truth. In fact, most of society (and the majority of social interactions in general) are founded on overt and covert lies. Enabling. Half-truths. White-lies. Whatever you want...
Continue Reading